A WAKE-UP CALL FOR YOUNG PEOPLE!

There’s a personal story that I have shared on occasion with younger people who are still in their formative years.

While studying for my Masters of Divinity degree at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary [a three-year course that I managed to complete in eleven years as a part-time commuter], I heard about a dual degree option with the University of Pittsburgh that would merge coursework and allow me to also attain a Master of Social Work degree [which would have been a door-opener for me into the world of counseling]. 

I applied and was not accepted.  I appealed the decision and was told that they had MANY applications that particular year and they had to go back to high school records to make final decisions.  They then reported that although all of my graduate and post-graduate work was excellent, I had received twenty-eight C’s during my high school career!  That eliminated me from consideration. 

I had not been highly motivated in high school.  My parents didn’t place high demands on me; they were happy with C’s.  Obviously, I was capable of much better grades, but I had no sense of purpose in making the investment to receive higher evaluations.

Very few high school students are aware of the impact their high school performance might have on their future. 

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For several hours yesterday, I sat and watched the broadcast of a Senate subcommittee in the process of questioning [and lecturing] Pete Hegseth – President-elect Trump’s candidate for the Secretary of Defense.

It was difficult to listen to.  For the most part, the Republican Senators complimented him on his qualifications and passion, while their Democratic counterparts literally took Hegseth apart in many areas.  It should be noted that this is standard procedure for Senators in this process. 

At one point or another during this process, Mr. Hegseth was accused openly of the following:

·         repeated public incidents of being extremely drunk

·         being in his third marriage

·         admitting to having immoral sexual relationships while in his first marriage

·         having an immoral sexual relationship outside of his second marriage that ended in a pregnancy [and his third marriage]

·         making public comments about women not having a place in the military

·         drinking on the job while a host on the Fox News Channel

·         inappropriate behavior with female employees

·         poor management of several organizations that he previously led that reportedly saw a significant drop in contributions during his leadership

He was repeatedly accused of having a lack of integrity and being extremely unqualified for the level of leadership that he was nominated for. 

He consistently defended his record and withstood the onslaught of accusations and allegations.  He frequently referred to “having been cleared of all wrongdoing” or by openly denying the reality of the Senator’s reports.

Although I am a Trump supporter, I have no vested interest in the outcome of this process.  I am not particularly a fan of Pete Hegseth.  I don’t have sufficient background information to be capable of deciding whether or not he should serve in this role at such a high level of our government.  I will leave the outcome of this process to those who do have the information and the power.

My interest in this painful and embarrassing saga is the education of our youth!

Here’s a man who clearly has struggled with alcohol abuse.  His insistence that he will NOT drink if appointed as the Secretary of Defense is hard to believe. 

Here’s a man who has had repeated marriages and has a record of infidelity.

Here’s a man who has failed to garner respect from his fellow employees.

Here’s a man who is reported to have treated women in a demeaning manner.

Here’s a man whose past statements have the potential to prevent him from holding a highly privileged and extremely powerful position.

Here also is a man who claims to have had a spiritual awakening within the last thirty days – since he was nominated by President-elect Trump for the position of Secretary of Defense! 

THESE ARE HEAVY CONSDERATIONS THAT OUR SENATORS ARE CONSIDERING!

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Suddenly – in a totally unforeseen manner – Pete Hegseth discovered that he had been noticed by the President-elect! 

In a turn of events that most would never have imagined, Pete Hegseth is seriously being considered for an extremely important leadership role in the future development of our country!

Here’s the question for young people to consider:  If Pete had seen this coming, might he have changed his behavior in the past?  Having lived in an apparently reckless manner, does he now look back with regrets?  Does he wish he would have worked harder on his marriages?  Do the fleeting rewards of sexual irresponsibility now seem foolish?  If he could, wouldn’t he like to purge numerous areas of his life from public knowledge? 

Our youth are not known for great wisdom.  They are inexperienced and curious.  They want to experiment and discover things for themselves. 

They need guidance and parameters!  That’s why God gave them a parent from each gender to advise and protect them throughout their development. 

Wise parents might take the ‘Pete Hegseth’ episode and talk about it with their youth.  Some starting points might be:

·         Do you think Pete has regrets about his past behavior?

·         You need to be careful about your daily activity.  It may affect your future! Life is a progression. The things you say and do today may have an impact on your future.

·         What are your goals for the future?  What are some behaviors and decisions that could totally destroy your hopes?

·         In light of your hopes and dreams, what kind of behavior today will develop character and integrity in you that will facilitate your dreams coming to reality?

Parents have the potential and opportunity to have these kind of vital conversations with their young people.  Wise parents will take full advantage of modern-day examples to help their children develop with wisdom and integrity!

And while you’re talking with them, why not also pray with them about their future!  Let them hear you voice your concerns to God on their behalf! 

WHEN DOES CHRISTMAS END?

The twelve days of Christmas are no longer observed in American culture.  Now, Christmas ends abruptly on the morning of December 26^th.  Trees come down, decorations get packed away and Christmas music is replaced with whatever was playing before November. 

I’m observing – not complaining. 

But, in its original context, things were considerably different!

We only know time contexts in a very broad manner.  We know that Herod – in his paranoia about the birth of a new king of the Jews – sent soldiers to Bethlehem to destroy all of the male children under the age of two. However, it's not as quick as we might think [or as is usually portrayed in movies].  It is likely that Joseph and Mary lived in Bethlehem for a couple of years?  We get a hint in Matthew 2:11 where we are told that the wise men came to visit Mary and the ‘child’ [not the baby] in a ‘house’  [not a stable].  This seems to imply that Joseph had settled his family in Bethlehem for a short season [perhaps a couple of years].

It was after this visit that “God warned the wise men in a dream not to go back to Herod…”  [Matt. 2:12]  [All quotes from The New Century Version]

Sometime “After they [the wise men] left, an angel of the Lord came to Joseph in a dream and said, ’Get up! Take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt…” [Matt. 2:13]   God’s divine intervention was obviously intended to protect the holy family! 

Those who understand biblical history tell us that it is likely that Joseph would have taken his family to Alexandria – where there were already a substantial number of Jews living.  This was a growing area that would need skilled laborers like Joseph.  He is described in scripture as a ‘tekton’ – or craftsman. 

Again, those who have studied this era suggest that they would have made this long journey in one of two ways:

1.    Typical travel would be by foot or donkey.  The distance would have been approximately 300 miles.  At 10-15 miles per day, we can assume that this trip took the holy family about a month.  It is noteworthy that this plan would leave them vulnerable to be overtaken by Herod's soldiers.  

2.    Others suggest that the urgency of the angel’s instructions would have motivated Joseph to travel the shorter distance [40 miles] to Jaffa, where they could board a boat for Alexandria – a trip of 285 miles.  The recent gift of gold could have been used to enable this speedier departure. 

The Bible and extra-biblical sources give us very little about this intervening period; we are left to speculate.  Did Jesus grow up speaking Egyptian?  Was He bi-lingual?  How many years did they stay in Egypt?  Did He see the pyramids – the distance to Giza would have been over 100 miles? 

We know from Matthew 2:15, that Joseph stayed in Egypt until Herod died.  One would think that determining the length of the holy family’s stay in Egypt would be fairly easy.  However, there are several complicating factors.

For instance, the date of Christ’s birth is not even precisely known.  We do know from scripture that Jesus was born while Herod was king in Judea.  His reign is typically measured from 37 B.C. until his death in 4 B.C.  [It is essential to note that even the death date of Herod is greatly debated].

We also know that Quirinius was governor in Syria during the same time and that a census was ordered in 6 B.C.  There is general belief – based on these facts – that Jesus was likely born in either 6 or 5 B.C. 

From these facts, we can ascertain that the holy family likely stayed in Egypt for about two or three years.  Matthew 2:22 reports that Archelaus [Herod’s son] became king in Judea upon Herod’s death.  His reign was about ten years – from 4 B.C. until 6 A.D.  Consequently, Jesus would have been two or three years old when “…an angel of the Lord spoke to Joseph in a dream while he was in Egypt. The angel said, ‘Get up! Take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, because the people who were trying to kill the child are now dead.’” [Matt. 2:19-20]

A FINAL ADJUSTMENT

“So Joseph took the child and his mother and went to Israel.  But he heard that Archelaus was now king in Judea since his father Herod had died. So Joseph was afraid to go there. After being warned in a dream, he went to the area of Galilee, to a town called Nazareth, and lived there.” [Matt. 2:21-23]

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Joseph and Mary’s lives were anything but easy in these early years.  In fact, they were immigrants in a foreign land for several years.  They had left all of their belongings in Nazareth when they made the journey to Bethlehem – to be taxed.  Yet, God’s provision was evident through the generous gifts of the magi.  Also, Joseph was a man with skill and ability.  He was capable of protecting and providing for his new family! 

We can only wonder how they were received upon their return to Nazareth.  Jesus would likely have been about five years old upon their arrival there. Were they shunned by their families because of the lack of understanding about the birth of Jesus?  Were they ostracized by the community there?  Were they able to have some of their belongings restored upon this return? 

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With no intention of being critical, even our liturgical year moves us along in a fairly quick manor.  With Christmas behind us, we will be called on to observe Lent on March 5^th [Ash Wednesday].

I simply observe that we anticipate Christmas for at least a couple of months by decorating, buying gifts, baking cookies and watching romantic (or silly) movies.  On Christmas Eve, many still participate in a worship service to commemorate the special event of Christ’s birth.  However, as stated earlier, on December 26^th the celebration is pretty much over. 

Yet the fear of the unknown, the uncertainty, the inconvenience of repeated moves, the transition to a foreign culture, the absence of family, the loneliness and the deep inner questions about all that had happened – continued in the lives of this little family of three: Joseph, Mary and baby Jesus. 

Sovereign God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit,

Thank You for Your long-range planning and careful preparation for the coming of our Savior!

For a few moments, our eyes are open to the fragile environment that Jesus was born into.  We see the humility of His birth, the specifically chosen visitors who welcomed and honored Him. We are aware that this story is true and involved tremendous adventure and inconvenience.  We are moved – in this moment – to continue our celebration of the coming of our Savior!

And You did it all for us!

For me!

Thank You!

WE CAN DO THIS, DAD!

In 2016, we arranged to rent a lot in Heron Woods [small retirement village in extreme western Pennsylvania] from our landlords, Gene and Carol Whalen.  We prepared the site, shopped for a manufactured home and finally bought one with plans to have it delivered and set up.  This was to be our retirement home and we were quite excited about it. By the end of the summer, we were pretty settled and began thinking about buying or building a two-car garage. Our son, Troy, was insistent that we should build it. He explained that his father-in-law [also our friend and former parishioner], Mark Noel, had volunteered to design it and would walk us through the building process.

Troy talked me into it and we began the process in September.  I was still leading a church in Kittanning, PA, so we sometimes worked together and sometimes worked individually [based on my schedule and Troy’s fire-fighter schedule].  Over the next several months, we followed Mark’s plans and instructions to the ‘T’.  We also stood together and watched scores of ‘youtube’ videos!  

In short, it was the most enjoyable project I have ever been involved in!  Troy and I thoroughly loved being together so much and engaging in such a productive project!  Mark worked with us on days that he was available.

Having been a home-builder for over twelve years, he was a masterful guide and coach.  I believe he actually worked far more on the garage than he had originally planned. 

On certain big days – like setting the trusses – we called in help from nephews, brother-in-laws, neighbors and friends.  I was overwhelmed with the gift of time and skill that was given to our project! 

  

God gave us a wonderful fall to proceed with our building!  We actually had the garage floor and entrance apron poured a few days before Thanksgiving Day!  We were nailing shingles on a snowy day!  My vehicles were in the unfinished garage for the winter.  Then, come spring, we worked hard to put the finishing touches on our project: electrical work, installing a propane heater, hanging plasterboard, sealing and painting and adding additional sidewalks. 

I have been enjoying this awesome garage for seven years now!  There’s hardly a time I enter it without appreciating all the help I received in making it a reality!  Mark and Troy particularly went to extra lengths to make sure that everything was near-perfect!  When I close the man-door, I can feel the pressure on my ears!  The heater warms it within a few minutes of being turned on!  My F-250 truck actually fits [although there’s not much room to move around it and I have to fold the mirrors in to enter and exit 😁]. 

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I’m sure you hear the pride and gratitude that I feel!

Recently, I’ve been cleaning the garage after over a year of just piling stuff up.  I came across a few sheets of graph paper that Mark had provided to Troy as we began the project.  It was a general layout for the layout of the purlins [the horizontal timbers that will support the rafters of a roof].  Another page had detailed instructions for the setting of our poles and the follow-up steps to siding the walls. 

                             

A few months earlier, I had come across more detailed instructions of the later stages of our building process.  After all this time, I am freshly reminded of the gift that Mark gave when he encouraged us to take on this project!  I can’t imagine the hours that he invested in drawing, thinking, and writing notes for us to follow!  PLUS, he spent many hours on the job actually helping us – especially on critical days of important tasks! 

How do you repay a gift like that?  Although I expressed my gratitude through some gifts along the way, it fell far short of the investment Mark made in the garage and seeing it through to completion! 

The same goes for Troy!  He pushed me uncomfortably to take on the project!  However, it was one of the most meaningful times for us to share! 

If I hadn’t listened, I would probably have bought a pre-fab garage that would have been FAR INFERIOR to what I have today! 

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So many people have made investments when it comes to my needs and wants.  I hope that I have done the same in such a gratuitous manner. 

How about you?  Have you inconvenienced yourself to help someone else reach their goals?  Have you invested – at significant cost – in the dreams of another?  Giving doesn’t just involve wrapped or monetary gifts; sometimes it means giving expertise, counsel, time, skill and other means of investment.   

Maybe it's an age thing, but I seem to be realizing a deeper gratitude at this stage of my life for the people who have helped me along on this journey!  My life surely wouldn't be where it is without their investments!  I'm thankful to God for each and every one of them!  

A PASTOR'S REFLECTION ON THE BIG THREE!

I think like a pastor - sorry!  After many years in the ministry, it's a liability!  

I love the holy days in our year!  I always planned more carefully for these celebrations.  For one reason, more people attend on Christmas and Easter!  [Mother's Day runs a close third!  😉]  

I heard an interview yesterday where a reporter spoke of her Episcopalian pastor who always joked that on Christmas Sunday he should begin his message with the words: "As I was saying...", in order to connect with all the people who had last attended on Easter Sunday!  I have to admit, I did find that story to be funny!  

But, bottom line, we rejoice on any Sunday when people come to worship!  This same pastor coached his people every year on the Sunday before these novalike Sundays.  He reminded his congregation before Easter and Christmas to be welcoming to these people who would fill the seats on the next Sunday.  He encouraged them to be friendly and accepting.  He ended by echoing how good it would be if some of these folks began attending more often!  [I think I would like this pastor!]

Now that I'm retired, I feel freer to express myself.  It always has bothered me how big a deal we make of Christmas.  Hey, don't get upset with me - hear me out, please.  

It is a great holiday and I have celebrated it creatively and enthusiastically through the years.  But...[you knew that was coming, didn't you?]

Celebrating the arrival of Christ - especially recalling the dramatic and utterly remarkable details of the narrative - certainly welcomes celebration and wonder!  We should replicate that night and its WONDER-FULL events and meaning!  My childlike mind lights up with the celebration of Christmas.

But let's keep things in perspective.  The primary reason for us to celebrate Christmas is because it set the stage for us to observe and commemorate what happened on Easter [Resurrection Sunday]!  This is the believer's true HOLY-DAY!  This is the day that transformed us:

• from darkness to light
• from despair to hope
• from eternal punishment to eternal life and joy
• from death to life!

It's a delicate balance that we should speak about with our families and children.  

WE CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS BECAUSE OF THE COMING OF CHRIST!

WE CELEBRATE RESURRECTION SUNDAY BECAUSE OF THE REDEEMING SACRIFICE OF CHRIST!

Both are high, holy days for the follower of Christ!  

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Actually - while I'm on the topic - I have always been disappointed in the frequent failure to celebrate Pentecost Sunday [which is traditionally observed fifty days after Easter.]  

As we recall the events of that day, we must recognize the dynamic meaning it has for us!   

This is delicate, but let's look closely:

If we generally recognize the Old Testament Period as dominated and led by God-the-Father...

And if we generally recognize most of the New Testament as being dominated by JESUS [God-the-Son]...

Then, isn't it reasonable that we should also recognize the period after Christ's ascension as dominated by the HOLY SPIRIT [God-the-Spirit]?

WE LIVE IN THE AGE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT!  WE SHOULD CELEBRATE AND OBSERVE THIS!  WE ARE WRITING THE REST OF THE BOOK OF ACTS!

A few years ago, the Bethel Church added a dramatic celebration on this day to help us catch the glory and wonder of Pentecost.  Three men from the congregation entered the sanctuary speaking the 'GOOD NEWS' in their native languages: Chinese, Turkish and Italian!  It helped the congregation to appreciate the original circumstances of this day historically!  It added meaning, value and a little bit of humor to our Lord's Day!

I can't overemphasize the need for creativity in worship - especially in the 21st century!  We must recognize the values of TRADITION, while also translating it to a post-Christian population!  To refuse or fail to do so runs a significant risk of being irrelevant!  Irrelevance produces no fruit!  It is likely the reason we are closing so many churches in our American culture.  

The Church should be one of the most creative places in our culture!  We have the most important message!  We have a God-assigned responsibility!  We are compelled to engage those who have not recognized Jesus as Lord in a way that challenges them intellectually, reasonably, boldly, relevantly and creatively!  WE ARE THE CHURCH!  WE HAVE A MISSION!  WE HAVE THE EMPOWERMENT OF THE HOLY SPIRIT!    

A KINDER, GENTLER TIME!

We had carolers sing at our door a few nights ago.  They come every year to the homes here in Heron Woods Retirement Village.  They’re brought by David and Beverly Whalen who also live in our village.  We assume they’re a church group.  They always bring a nice plate of cookies!  😊

This is a rare practice in the twenty-first century.  Perhaps people don’t like to be intruded on; after all, a person’s house is his/her castle [moat and all]!  We just don’t intrude on people these days. 

But, when I was growing up, caroling was still a common practice.  We were accustomed to hearing Perry Como singing on our radios:

Here we come a-caroling
Among the leaves so green
Here we come a-wandering
So fair to be seen

[Chorus]
Love and joy come to you
And to you glad Christmas too
And God bless you and send you
A Happy New Year
And God send you a Happy New Year

We are not daily beggars
That go from door to door
But we are friendly neighbors
Whom you have seen before
[Repeat Chorus]

We also heard Nat King Cole singing:

Caroling, caroling now we go
Christmas bells are ringing
Caroling, caroling through the snow
Christmas bells are ringing
Joyous voices sweet and clear
Sing the sad of heart to cheer
Ding, dong, ding, dong
Christmas bells are ringing

Is it any wonder that this practice was an integral part of spreading the joy of the birth of Christ?

Church groups would actually schedule visits to nursing homes and hospitals to share the joy of the season.  They would also crowd onto the porches of their shut-ins and sing several songs for their pleasure.  Sometimes we would be given cookies as a reward for our songs!  

At the New Brighton Free Methodist Church, we were blessed with a lot of folks who loved to sing.  We also had an extremely capable and sensitive song leader – Morrison Baker. He decided what we would sing and led us in our mission.  I suppose what made our group unique was not only the fact that we were a transgenerational group, but that we almost always had all four parts represented: soprano, alto, tenor and bass.  We would jam into cars [or occasionally the church bus] and caravan around our town making as many as ten or twelve stops.  We dressed appropriately and would sometimes run back to the cars to warm up. 

We were taught to be respectful in the hospitals where we would gather closely at the end of a hallway and sing several carols.  Back then, we were a welcome intrusion to the busy environment of caring for the sick.  By visiting in the early evening the staff seemed happy to welcome us! As we would walk down the hallway we were often greeted by family members who thanked us for coming!  We would go to nursing homes early enough that they would often have many gathered in a room to hear our songs.  Many would sing along with us with genuine expressions of sincerity and appreciation. 

We always went home feeling that we’d somehow made a difference by delivering a little joy of the season to those who might have felt lonely or left out!  I miss those days and the joy they brought!!  

NO ROOM IN THE INN

 [A recording of this post was also placed on my Facebook page as a Christmas Devotion!]

We’re all familiar with the story!  We know that Joseph and Mary had to travel to Bethlehem because of a census ordered by Caesar Augustus.  It was certainly an inconvenience for this couple – especially with Mary being very pregnant.

They’d already had a difficult time getting their relationship established.  After revealing his intentions to make Mary his wife, she revealed that she was already pregnant.  We can only imagine Joseph’s hurt and shock!  Bitter, angry and vengeful thoughts surely filled his mind.  However, God had chosen well on Mary’s behalf.  Joseph was indeed a good man and chose to end their relationship quietly.  If nothing else, it revealed that he really did love this girl and had no desire to hurt her further. 

Then, God decided to fill Joseph in on the details by sending him a message in a dream.  Dreaming became God’s preferred way of speaking to Joseph and it would happen quite a few times before this story is complete.  Now, Joseph is convinced by the word of God that this was all part of God’s plan.  He took Mary as his wife but had no relations with her until after Jesus was born! 

Once all this was finally sorted out, they still had to deal with the rejection of family, friends and neighbors who didn’t know all the details and considered them illegitimate. 

The decree from Caesar could almost be perceived as a respite from God – although a very challenging one.  Joseph had no choice.   He had to go to Bethlehem – the city of David – to register since he was of the house and lineage of David.  He chose to take Mary with him, perhaps thinking that they would have a better start by transplanting in Judea instead of Galilee.

Joseph – being a godly man – could surely see the hand of Yahweh in all that had transpired.  He was driven by his faith and willingly left any preparations he had been making in Nazareth to head for Judea with his very pregnant wife.  It was an arduous journey of nearly one hundred miles.  It is likely that Mary was able to ride a donkey at least some of the way.  If they were able to make ten miles per day, then it probably took the better part of two weeks to complete the journey.

After passing through Jerusalem, they were very close – about five and a half miles.  It would have been mostly downhill. Somewhere along this part of the trip, Mary indicated that her time to deliver was drawing close!  Joseph hurried to get her to Bethlehem! 

Bethlehem at that time was probably a village of around five hundred people who lived in modest stone houses on a slight geographical rise.  It is likely that it was primarily populated by farmers, shepherds, and artisans who made their living through agriculture and small-scale crafts.  It was likely surrounded by olive groves.

Being the birthplace of King David, it was a desirable place to visit and apparently had some inns where visitors could stay.

Imagine Joseph’s consternation when he couldn’t find an inn with space for him and Mary!  Hadn’t they suffered enough?  If this child was to be God’s Son, then where was God when they needed Him?  Why hadn’t God prepared better and planned ahead?  This was NOT an easy start for this confused yet obedient young couple! 

We can only imagine the urgency!  Mary’s water had likely broken and she was probably in hard labor.  They were exhausted from their long trek from Nazareth over rugged terrain and travelling with meager resources.  This was no way to start a family! 

Yet we are given no picture of Joseph or Mary shaking their fists at Heaven.  There is no hint of anger or frustration.  There is simply the compelling need to find a place – any place – where Mary could safely deliver her child. 

Joseph’s sense of urgency and the persuasive appeals he made upon their arrival in this little village had an impact.  After being turned away from the inns, he desperately appealed to a man for any place where Mary could be sheltered and deliver her child. 

Now we come to the crux of the story.  An unnamed man [or woman], heard the desperation in Joseph’s voice.  Perhaps they saw and heard Mary from a brief distance and could tell that she was in labor?  Without hesitation they offered the best they had – a stable or cave where they sheltered their animals.  Surely, Joseph gave them a quick bear-hug and then rustled Mary into the safety of their temporary home. 

Quickly, he gave order to the space and created a clean corner for Mary.  He unpacked their meager belongings and began to attend to her needs.  And in the moments to come – with sheep, cattle and perhaps other animals as witnesses – Joseph helped his wife as she delivered to the world THE GREATEST GIFT OF ALL! 

As they eventually collapsed into one another’s arms with the baby – wrapped in swaddling cloths – laying across Mary’s breast, they surely experienced the deepest satisfaction and joy available to couples of any age! 

And so it was that the Son of God – who had left the courts of Heaven nine months earlier – made His appearance on earth under the light of a guiding star!   

I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS

It's one of the stand-by Christmas songs that raises a feeling of nostalgia for many.  It's had special meaning for a lot of folks who have loved ones serving in the military or who are otherwise located in far flung places around the globe.  

The key word is - of course - HOME!  We all knew it all along; Dorothy was right!  There's no place like home!  Home is where the heart is!  Hopefully for most, it's a place of warm memories and vital relationships.

All of us feel sorrow for those who were raised in a manner that failed to nourish and protect the intimacies, safety and vital connections of a loving, caring family!  It's painful to recognize that this day holds no affection for many - it's just the longest day of the year to get through.  SAD!

The progression of life changes our perspective and our practices as we grow through its various stages.  

When we're young and still believe in Santa, its a time like no other!  We are VERY self-centered and can't wait for Christmas morning to see what he has delivered!

As we grow, we realize that family connections are a priority as we spend the day sharing gifts, special food, and lots of candy!  We may gain a deeper appreciation during these years for the way our parents have protected and guarded us through the years.  We realize that they invested deeply, lovingly and sacrificially to make this season special for us.

Eventually - for many - we enter the phase of making our own home!  We marry and eventually have children of our own!  Now the process begins again but our role has become the one of creating special memories in an environment of security and love!  We marvel at the joy we can create in our little ones and cherish these moments with photos and mental snapshots!

All too soon, a couple of decades slip by and the de-nesting phase is thrust upon us!  There may be a few elastic years where college-age children still return home.  They may also bring a friend or a romantic prospect along for certain elements of our Christmas traditions.  But eventually, they launch into their own adult lives and we find ourselves exchanging gifts quietly with a lot less fanfare in the solitude of our empty home.  Yes, it's sad, but phone calls, the arrival of surprise packages, and even invitations to "come for Christmas" add value to our celebration.

For those of us who sincerely love the Lord, the celebration of His Coming remains central!  We find new ways to express our gratitude to God for giving us such a wonderful and meaningful gift!  We may open our home to others.  We value the meaning gained from our church's programs and special events!

Many of us come to a place of genuinely celebrating the love we have for our spouse who has accompanied us through all these years of experiences and the making of memories!  We come to realize that the sharing of these memories is the glue that holds us together in the midst of so many changes.

In some cases - sadly - a spouse is left alone to face the Christmases that may be left.  They are often enfolded by family and given the opportunity to feel the love and acceptance that they initiated so long ago!  New friendships may also populate their lives adding value and creating new memories and experiences.  

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The Haire household has certainly experienced these transitions!  Having moved over fifteen times, we learned not to associate our memories so strongly to one house or town.  Debbie has been such an effective homemaker that our kids learned to think of wherever we lived as HOME!  Her touch and gift of making every place we lived into a warm, comfortable space allowed our kids to walk in, plop down and enjoy that wonderful feeling associated with being HOME!  

For quite a number of years we learned to flex our date for Christmas from early December to late January to suit Travis' military schedule.  It didn't bother us a bit!  While others were working and otherwise deployed, we were celebrating the depth of our love and the fun of being together!  

Our traditions have changed.  We've learned to enjoy the season of focusing on each other and acknowledging the joy that we've experienced in our fifty-one years of marriage!  In case you're wondering: love gets deeper with added years!  Debbie's beauty magnifies as she ages!  How I rejoice at the wisdom God gave me to seek her out and pursue her when I was just a sixteen-year-old boy!  😉

This year, we'll slip into Tracie and Jon's home for a few days right after Christmas!  We'll share good food and fun memories.  We'll play games and repeat stories.  We'll exchange gifts and love on one another.  It'll be fun and will launch us into the new year with a positive attitude!

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Wherever you are in this matrix of possibilities, make the best of it.  Don't sit at home and let this wonderful season pass you by!  Engage.  Stretch!  Take some risks!  Find a few to share your joy, food and memories with!  It's far too rich a season to simply sit out!