JUST AS I AM

The hymn by this name was for decades, the traditional ‘Invitation Hymn’ of the evangelical church in America.

Having been raised in a conservative, Wesleyan church, it was used to invite people [typically] to come forward to an altar where they would kneel and pray to receive Christ into their lives.

IT’S HISTORY:

At the age of 32 [1821], Charlotte Elliott [of London, England] suffered a serious illness that left her a semi-invalid for the rest of her life. Within a year she went through a spiritual crisis and confessed to the Swiss evangelist Henri A. Cesar Malan that she did not know how to come to Christ. He answered, "Come to him just as you are." Thinking back on that experience twelve years later, in 1834, she wrote a poem titled: “Just as I Am" as a statement of her faith.

The original tune, "Woodworth", was written by William B. Bradbury, and was published in 1849. The "Woodworth" tune was first used for another hymn and then Thomas Hastings adapted Bradbury's tune for "Just as I Am" years later.

Just as I am - without one plea,
But that Thy blood was shed for me,
And that Thou bidst me come to Thee,
-O Lamb of God, I come!

Just as I am - and waiting not
To rid my soul of one dark blot,
To Thee, whose blood can cleanse each spot,
-O Lamb of God, I come!

Just as I am - though toss'd about
With many a conflict, many a doubt,
Fightings and fears within, without,
-O Lamb of God, I come!

Just as I am - poor, wretched, blind;
Sight, riches, healing of the mind,
Yea, all I need, in Thee to find,
-O Lamb of God, I come!

Just as I am - Thou wilt receive,
Wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve;
Because Thy promise I believe,
-O Lamb of God, I come!

Just as I am - Thy love unknown
Has broken every barrier down;
Now to be Thine, yea, Thine alone,
-O Lamb of God, I come!

This song became an altar call song in the Billy Graham crusades in the latter half of the twentieth century. Graham used the title of the hymn as the title of his 1997 book - Just as I Am: The Autobiography of Billy Graham.

 

MY MEMORIES

This hymn was traditionally used at almost every revival meeting in my home church and also at ‘Camp Meeting’ every July.

There were others, of course, but this was the one most commonly used.

It’s powerful words and alluring tune had an influential impact on those who sang it.

Growing up in the 1950’s and 1960’s, we teens came to make a bit of fun of this hymn. Evangelists were famous for saying – as they extended the ‘altar call’ – let’s just sing one more verse.

Sometimes – to a teenager – it seemed that these ‘invitation appeals’ went on forever! I must confess that we snickered in the back of the sanctuary and made guestimates of how many more times we’d “sing another verse”!

The end of the service at Camp Meeting was filled with drama.

Sometimes, old ‘Harvey’ would let loose with his famous “Wooohooo”. It tickled us to see people jump when he did it!

There were a few little old ladies who would occasionally take off across the front of the sanctuary waving a hankie, crying and shouting “Glory to God!”

Occasionally, the district superintendent or evangelist would walk the aisles of the tabernacle and extend a personal invitation to come forward and pray! Even some of the older ‘saints’ would sometimes slip into the pew with someone and ask if they’d like to go forward to pray.

Sometimes we’d sing three or four ‘invitation hymns’ in a row. This part of the service could easily go on for half-an-hour or more. 

You may be thinking that I’m being cynical, but hey, we were teens! Just remember that there were a lot of times that we went forward during those altar calls and began the process of cementing our relationship with God through His Son, Jesus. During many of those services we felt the drawing of the Holy Spirit and responded. 

Actually, I’m writing this blog because sixty years later I get up every morning and spend hours reading and studying the Bible. It is my favorite time of the day – long before most people have even begun to stir. I never tire of this practice. I’m always finding new thoughts and perspectives.

Just today I was reading II Samuel 7 [in The Message Bible] where God initiates a covenant with David through his prophet, Nathan. It’s a pretty attention-getting passage:

[God speaking to Nathan] “So here is what you are to tell my servant David: The God-of-the-Angel-Armies has this word for you: I took you from the pasture, tagging along after sheep, and made you prince over my people Israel. I was with you everywhere you went and mowed your enemies down before you. Now I’m making you famous, to be ranked with the great names on earth...  Finally, I’m going to give you peace from all your enemies.

“Furthermore, God has this message for you: God himself will build you a house! When your life is complete and you’re buried with your ancestors, then I’ll raise up your child, your own flesh and blood, to succeed you, and I’ll firmly establish his rule. He [Solomon] will build a house to honor me, and I will guarantee his kingdom’s rule permanently. I’ll be a father to him, and he’ll be a son to me. When he does wrong, I’ll discipline him in the usual ways, the pitfalls and obstacles of this mortal life. But I’ll never remove my gracious love from him, as I removed it from Saul, who preceded you and whom I most certainly did remove. Your family and your kingdom are permanently secured. I’m keeping my eye on them! And your royal throne will always be there, rock solid.”

Nathan gave David a complete and accurate account of everything he heard and saw in the vision.

King David went in, took his place before God, and prayed: “Who am I, my Master God, and what is my family, that you have brought me to this place in life? But that’s nothing compared to what’s coming, for you’ve also spoken of my family far into the future, given me a glimpse into tomorrow, my Master God! What can I possibly say in the face of all this? You know me, Master God, just as I am.

[II Samuel 7:8-20 TM]

Now I’m well aware that this was not in Charlotte Elliot’s mind when she wrote her poem!  I’m not suggesting that this was the source material for this great hymn!

However, at the same time I couldn’t read these words without noticing them! 

David – King David – is overwhelmed with the honor that God is bestowing on him. “Your family and your kingdom are permanently secured.”

David was well aware of his humanity. Just three chapters later, we’ll find him sinning with Bathsheba!

_____________________________

It’s a pretty incredible message for all of us!

God knows us just as we are! He knows our weakness and our frailty. He knows that we’re “Prone to wander – prone to leave the God I love”.*  Yet still He accepts us, redeems us, and provides for us far beyond what we deserve!

That – my friends – is AMAZING GRACE!

 

*  From the hymn: “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing”

SELECTING A SPOUSE

In reading through I Samuel, I came across the story of David’s intersection with an odd couple. The man’s name was Nabal [which means ‘fool’] and his wife’s name was Abigail.

Nabal was a very prosperous farmer/rancher with 3,000 sheep and 1,000 goats.

The scripture gives a description of this couple:

The woman was intelligent and good-looking, the man brutish and mean.

[I Samuel 25:3  -  All quotes from The Message Bible unless otherwise noted]

_____________________________________

How does this happen? How do beautiful women and mean-spirited men choose one another [or vice versa].

I can’t believe that I’m about to reference a Hallmark movie to illustrate this point!

Last night I watched a Hallmark movie about a woman who had moved to a small town – with her young son – to restart her life after a failed marriage. She eventually reflected on it as being an impulsive and immature decision. After having the son, they simply drifted apart and then divorced.

Then, of course, enters the man who has returned home for a brief stint of teaching in the local elementary school. He had a deep love in this town many years earlier and since it ended has been unable to establish roots anywhere. He travels the country as a substitute teacher.

Through a number of awkward and humorous vignettes, these two repeatedly run into one another and eventually discover that there is a mutual interest in exploring the possibility of having a relationship. 

They’re each mature enough at this point in their lives to evaluate the complex and sacrificial changes that they would have to make if they choose to develop and mature this relationship!

Surprise! Surprise! The movie has a happy ending! 😊  *

_______________________________

It rather lamely illustrates my point.

There is no training for selecting a spouse. For the most part, it’s largely dependent on our circle of friends and the ‘magic of love’.

This process lacks the specificity that we might expect it to have. For instance, do you know anyone who asked their intended spouse to have a battery of physical tests to see if they were healthy or what their prognosis is for a long life?  I just saw your jaw drop!  😄  Of course not! Don’t be silly, Hal.

Do we have them take a psychological test to evaluate their mental health?

🙄  C’mon, Hal!

Do we consult with family and friends to get their opinion about the potential for our compatibility before we ‘Pop the Question’?  How many women – when the man drops down on his knee to offer her a ring – push the ‘Pause’ button and say something totally reasonable like: “I hope you’re not offended, but this is a big step and I’m going to need some time to think it through.”? 😳

I retired from my role as a pastor in 2017. Throughout my years, I mandated ten hours of counseling for every couple that I married. I also asked them to attend worship together while we were doing the counseling. I became trained in the Taylor/Johnson Temperament Analysis instrument so that I could have some relatively objective ways of considering their compatibility potential. This was a costly investment on my part since these counseling sessions usually involved evenings or weekends. But, it was important to me to help launch them with the information and tools that could help them to have a great marriage! Also, once they got to know me – it gave them a viable place to return to – if they ran into trouble down-the-road. The topics we discussed together were:

·        Finances – lawyers report that finances are a key cause of most divorces.

·        Sex – I focused on the differences between the male and female approaches to relationships. Most couples became quite animated with these discussions.!

·        How-to-fight-fair – This was a fun topic where we discussed many helpful techniques for fighting that could lead them to more productive results!

·        Children/Parenting – It always surprised me how many couples had never discussed vital questions like:

Ø Are we going to have children?

Ø When will we start this process?

Ø How many children do you think we will have?

Massive disappointment and contention can result from a failure to discuss these issues!

·        We usually ended by talking about Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts. This always led to valuable learning sessions that were very personal to the couple and how they experienced love.

______________________________

Without direction and seasoned input, Abigails keep marrying Nabals, and the pain destroys people’s lives for long periods.

NOTICE:

Although I’m a pastor, I’m only now bringing up the idea of consulting with God!

I began every wedding with the same words:

Dearly beloved,

we are gathered here today in the presence of God… 

Wise couples will do dome spiritual discerning about this most important decision of their lives!

Nabal’s will not likely offer to pray with Abigails. 

HERE’S AN OBSERVATION:

If you don’t pray together during the courting period, why would you think that you’ll pray together after you’re married?

Some will think me strange for saying this, but our sexual intimacy isn’t the most intimate thing we will do!

Talking together to God is the most intimate thing you can do!

I snuggle into my warm bed each night and quietly pray until I fall asleep. Yesterday, I said goodbye to Deb for four days. She’s going to stay with my sister-in-law this week to encourage her and help her recuperate from a broken arm. As we said goodbye, I told her: “I was praying for Joyce last night as I went to sleep. Please tell her that I love her and am praying for her.”

Deb responded – as she has on many other occasions: “I heard you praying and was agreeing with you!”

She has repeatedly affirmed me that the closest she feels to me is when we lie in bed together with my arm around her and we pray!

____________________________

Here’s a final note:

My blog audience is typically an older group of people. Many reading this are likely to have made marriage choices many years ago.

But guess what?  You can still breathe new life into a relationship by addressing some of the things we’ve discussed here. It’s NEVER too late!

Also, maybe you'd like to refer someone you care about to this blog for their personal benefit?

* For those who are dying to know what movie it was: A Harvest Homecoming.

SPIRITUAL DRIFTING

In the Wesleyan tradition, we used to call it ‘back-sliding’.

It’s a hallmark of human spirituality! We are imperfect creatures with a strong inclination to do what pleases us. This irresistible tendency conflicts with the call of God to “surrender all” to Him in such a way that “I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

Most of us who have committed our lives to Christ are familiar with this drifting.

I’ve been worshipping for the last six years in a reformed Presbyterian environment. It’s been a challenge in many ways, but I love the people and see their desire to live lives that are pleasing to God.

Our worship begins EVERY LORD’S DAY by standing together in silence and confessing our sins. Our pastor then powerfully prays with us and – in doing so – reminds us of the many ways we may have strayed from pleasing God during the past week.

What’s that about?

It’s about spiritual drifting!

It happens to all of us regardless of our determination that we will live wholly committed to God this day or week! 

Essentially, SELF GETS IN THE WAY!

We are capable, competent, creative people! God made us this way!  Yet, we don’t get far into our week before we begin to take the wheel as a result of our ‘FREE WILL’ – which, of course, is a gift of God! It’s so subtle! We simply begin to address the issues, situations and even dilemmas in our lives by applying our best wisdom and available resources. We don’t even realize that we’ve begun to live without consulting God! We’ve drifted from seeking His revealed Will [through His Word] and His divine counsel [through the Holy Spirit].

We may not realize what’s happened until Sunday morning during that few moments of guided self-examination – led by our pastor! 

“Oh no! I’ve done it again! Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned!”

________________________________

There’s a vivid picture of this in the Bible. We find it in I Samuel 15, where newly appointed King Saul is beginning to establish his leadership legacy.

Unfortunately Saul’s spirit of independence has already been noticed in earlier chapters when he couldn’t wait for Samuel to arrive and consequently audaciously built an altar and began to sacrifice an animal on it to ask for God’s help in fighting the Amalekites.

That occasion was so offensive to God that Samuel said to Saul:             

“If you had kept the appointment that your God commanded, by now God would have set a firm and lasting foundation under your kingly rule over Israel. As it is, your kingly rule is already falling to pieces. God is out looking for your replacement right now. This time he’ll do the choosing. When he finds him, he’ll appoint him leader of his people. And all because you didn’t keep your appointment with God!”

[I Samuel 13:13-14 – All quotes from The Message Bible unless otherwise noted]

SAUL DRIFTED! He began thinking on his own and exercising what seemed wise in his own eyes – and it eventually cost him his kingdom.

_________________________________

The Charles Wesley hymn – “A Charge To Keep I Have” – comes to mind: 

A charge to keep I have,
a God to glorify,
a never-dying soul to save,
and fit it for the sky.

To serve the present age,

my calling to fulfill,

O may it all my pow'rs engage

to do my Master's will!

Arm me with watchful care

as in Thy sight to live,

and now Thy servant, Lord, prepare

a strict account to give!

Help me to watch and pray,

and still on Thee rely,

O let me not my trust betray,

but press to realms on high.

___________________________________

Most loving, kind and gracious God:

Father, Son and Holy Spirit:

 

Out of Your Benevolence You have given us:

free will,

creative minds,

and self-motivation.

 

As a result, we are prone to use these gifts to advance Your purposes

and to address the day-to-day problems and situations that crop up!

 

Gradually, we are pushing forward without having consulted with You

or listened to see if You have any guidance for us!

 

Like Saul, we’re operating on automatic pilot as though we are completely capable of solving all of our problems on our own!

 

Thank You for Your patience with us at times like this!

Thank You for being so willing to forgive!

Thank You for allowing us to realign ourselves with You and continue on our journey through life in community with You and others of like mind!

 

Our walk with You brings us JOY!

AMEN!

WHEN YOU’RE ANGRY OR DISAPPOINTED WITH GOD…

In I Samuel 15, the story of Israel's first king - Saul - is continued.

His beginning was tough; when they looked for him to crown him king, he was found hiding in a pile of baggage. After a significant victory in leading Israel to defeat the Ammonites, Saul rallied his forces to take on the Philistines. He became impatient waiting for Samuel to arrive and make a sacrifice, so Saul built an altar and was making the sacrifice when Samuel arrived! Shocked at Saul's actions, Samuel said to him: "That was a fool thing to do...God is out looking for your replacement right now." [I Samuel 13:13-14 All quotes from The Message Bible unless otherwise noted].

Thanks to Jonathan's (Saul's son) intervention and initiative, Saul and the Israelites are able to defeat the Philistines - in spite of a number of bad judgments and decisions by Saul!

Next, Samuel told King Saul to lead his men against the Amalekites with specific instructions to kill ["utterly destroy"] "men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys - the works" [I Samuel 15:3]. But Saul does not kill the king and he allows his men to keep the best of the sheep and the cattle.

That's when God spoke to Samuel saying, "I'm sorry I ever made Saul king. He's turned his back on me. He refuses to do what I tell him" [v.11].

OBSERVE SAMUEL’S RESPONSE: “Samuel was angry when he heard this. He prayed his anger and disappointment all through the night. Then He got up early in the morning to confront Saul…” [vs.11-12]

This frequently read-over and typically ignored passage is actually amazingly instructive for us to read and heed!

Although the context isn’t perfectly clear, it appears that Samuel is frustrated that God is giving up on Saul. As God’s spokesperson, Samuel has to carry God’s messages and deliver them! Confronting a king can be a dangerous thing to do!

But Samuel is wise! He spends an entire night praying through his feelings and fears. By morning, he seems to have settled the matter with God and goes to deliver a message to Saul that Saul definitely DOESN’T WANT TO HEAR!

_______________________________________

Have you been angry with God?

Have you felt that He’s let go of the wheel?

Have there been times when you felt that He left you abandoned?

Have you cried out to Him but felt like there was an iron shield between you and Him?

Has bitterness taken root in your mind and heart?

Have you given up and walked away?

Most of us have been there a time or two – some may feel that they’ve lived in this state for far too long!

HERE’S THE LESSON WE ALL NEED TO LEARN:

You can’t make up with someone without talking to them!

There it is!  It’s that simple! Samuel spent the night praying through his anger and disappointment!

When’s the last time you did something like that?

Remind yourself that God loves you and will not turn away from you.  Jesus paid the price for your sin to be forgiven!

Remember being told to put your name into John 3:16?  Do it now:

For God so loved _________ __________

that He gave His only begotten Son, that [if] _________ __________

believes in Him [s/he] shall not perish,

but _________ __________ [shall] have eternal life.

Don’t be angry with God!

Don’t allow the enemy of your soul to talk you into being disappointed with God!

Take your cue from Samuel and talk through the issues with God! He will NEVER hang up on you!

PITTSBURGH CONFERENCE HISTORY: A Personal Perspective

Readers should be advised that this document will be of interest to those who are part of the Free Methodist Church of North America – and especially those with an interest in the Harvest Conference (formerly known as the Pittsburgh Conference).

I grew up in the Pittsburgh Conference [now Harvest Conference] of the Free Methodist Church. Because my parents were VERY involved in the [former] Rochester District, as well as the Conference, I attended regular events of these groups and made friends from far and wide [during the late 1950's and the 1960's].

I eventually attended Roberts Wesleyan College and then - after marrying Debbie - studied for three years at Asbury Theological Seminary in Kentucky.  In 1976, I returned to my home conference and received my first full-time appointment to the Jeannette, PA FMC - newly located in Harrison City, Pennsylvania.

Most of my memories of the Pittsburgh Conference are of the many colorful, animated, and influential older pastors of that day! Names flood my memory:

J.O. Archer [my great uncle and the only other pastor in my family tree. I remember him receiving a plaque for 60 years of service! He was appointed to a church as a young layman without having been asked if he would be willing to lead the church!]
R.L. Page  -  a district superintendent
C.H. Canon
R.S. McGrew
R.D. Merkle  -  a district superintendent
D.D. Rosenbaum
R.L. Armstrong
E.W. Cowsert  -  a district superintendent
E.E. Gunder
Paul Hazlett
W.P. Jones
C.D. Little
J.S. Mitchell
A.G. Previte
G.S. Pugh
Fred Schreffler
S.H. Estel
Milo and Maxine Smith
Lee Spear
H.E. Stevick
O.R. Tessaro
C.H. Zahniser
R.L. Whoolery

And MANY others!

It’s notable that many of these [mostly men] pastors went by their first two initials rather than their first names! I grew up respecting these pastors and being familiar with their unique personalities. I must admit that some were rather strict and evoked fear in me; they did not give the impression of being happy men! Others, however, were characters who left a definite impression. Annual Conference sessions in the 1950’s and 1960’s lasted five days – frequently held on what is now the Tri-State Family Camp in East Liverpool, Ohio. During vigorous debates, some of these skilled orators filled the tabernacle with laughter due to their humorous and tactful tirades! Bishops often had a hard time restraining the zeal of these competitive, creative and passionate leaders.

However, during the late 1960’s and early 1970’s the conference saw an influx of much younger pastors – some of which were:

C. William Bailey
Paul Barrett
Gregg Bengry
Darrell Carney
Fred Craig
E.L. Daugherty
D.J. Eakin
Christina Ferris
Steve Gaines
David Gress
Michael Guthrie
D.J. Holiday
Keith Hulton
James Jobes  -  later our conference superintendent
David Jones
John Kelley  -  later our conference superintendent
Walter Kirkland
David Little
George McLaughlin
Melvern McRoberts
R.A. Neal  -  later our conference superintendent
G.L. Newberry
T.L. Roush
Carl Sellards
Robert T. Singleton
Sam Tinsley - later our conference superintendent
Roger L. Yeager, Sr.

I was one of the last in this influx of younger pastors that were going to have a significant influence on the future of the conference!  Some were old enough to be the conference youth workers while I was still a teen. There was at least a ten-year-gap between some of us, with very few filling the gap between us and the older pastors mentioned earlier.

I remember two pivotal moments in the history of the conference when these younger pastors were prevented from creating a much-needed period of transition.

1.   The first was when we were making a major transition from having three ‘District Superintendents’ to one 'Conference Superintendent'! It was obviously a significant decision. This occurred in the summer of 1976, when I was receiving my first full-time appointment.

The first ballot failed to produce an election with many names being put forward – as is customary. The two receiving the most votes, however, were J.D. States (the preferred choice of the younger pastors) and R.L. Page [who had formerly been a district superintendent for well over a decade].

The second ballot narrowed the field – but still failed to gain an election. It became apparent that the true contest was between Page and States.

A third ballot also failed to produce an election as the conference pastors and delegates were encouraged to prepare their fourth ballot.

Finally, by a slim margin, R.L. Page was elected as our first Conference Superintendent.  The younger pastors were denied their choice of leadership.

R.L. Page had been an effective leader for many years and was held in high esteem by many of the conference delegates. Because the annual sessions extended over five days, most churches elected elderly women as delegates [sorry, I know that sounds sexist, but it‘s the way it was] – simply because they were willing and able to attend for the extended period of time!  My father mentioned to me once that these delegates often turned to watch either Reverend Page’s response or another man who was a respected lay leader. These delegates tended to follow their lead.

2.   Because of the new structure in the conference, the former district camps were thrown into disarray. Some new pastors who had come to us from the Genesee Conference [western NY] led the Tri-State Camp in forming a Camp Association to protect the camp from being sold by the conference. Eventually, the other district camps took the same protective action!

This seemed to be a direct response to research that was being done by some of the younger pastors who dreamed of a ‘conference camp’ in the Laurel Mountains that would allow for swimming, hiking, camping, boating and a variety of outdoor activities.

To make such a purchase, however, would necessitate the sale of the current district camps. Thus, the panic move to create camp associations to prevent this from happening. Again – the dream of the younger pastors was denied.

It should be noted that the establishment of one conference leader signaled massive change for the district camps!  The districts were inadvertantly dissolved. Churches were no longer aligned with the ‘camp meetings’ since we no longer had districts; all churches belonged to the Pittsburgh Conference. Where district assessments, assignments and mandatory attendance and support by pastors had formerly prevailed – these were subtly but persistently ignored!  This was the beginning of a major period of change and struggle for the Rochester District Camp [East Liverpool, OH], the Kiski Area Camp [Apollo, PA] and the Fairmont District Camp [Fairchance, PA]

In time – a younger leader was installed as R. A. Neal became the next conference superintendent. Having served as an associate of R.L. Page for a number of years, Bob’s transition to leadership was accepted gratefully. But some damage had been done by the previous denials as a number of the younger pastors left the conference for other fields of service.

Ensuing elections gave evidence that - sometimes - the conference leadership choices were  influenced by popularity [for instance: serving as camp evangelists at the various district camps] rather than leadership potential, innovation or skill.

All of this leads some to wonder if the trajectory of the conference – which has been characterized by systematically closing churches – could have been averted if different choices of leadership had been made? Currently, the proposed merging of conferences by the denomination seems to hint at solutions that will be more fiscally advantageous!

AN ASSIGNMENT FROM GOD: PARENTING

Deb and I were married in August, 1973. After our honeymoon, we packed a U-Haul truck and moved to Wilmore, Kentucky, where I would attend Asbury Theological Seminary for the next three years.

One of my first classes was on preaching, and Professor Robertson was an elderly Scottish man with a very traditional view of preaching. He assigned me a text for writing my first sermon: I Samuel 3:13. His note to me quoted this verse from the King James Version!

Allow me to give you some background on this text:

 

Eli was the high priest in Israel at this time. His sons – Hophni and Phinehas – were evil priests who demanded the best cuts of meat for themselves when the people brought their sacrifices to the Temple. In addition to ripping off the people, they were sleeping with the women who helped out at the sanctuary!

 

To his credit, Eli did reprimand them for these evil actions, but they simply ignored him and kept doing evil!

 

Eventually God had to do something to protect His people, so He set a plan in motion that would cause Eli and both of his sons to die on the same day.

 

[All of this is such an interesting story – involving God using a young boy to warn Eli of the impending events. It’s in the first three chapters of I Samuel – if you’re interested!]

As God’s warning was getting close to happening, God announced His judgment on Eli with my assigned text:

For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.

[KJV]

Dr. Robertson had hemmed me in! There was only one direction for me to go with this message: PARENTING!

What he expected to hear from me was clear:

God puts parents in place to control, guide, correct, and discipline their children!  If they fail to do so, there will be consequences for them and for their kids!

Being simply a novice seminary student, I had no congregation yet. I fulfilled the assignment and wrote the sermon – but never preached it. However, as I matured in ministry, I touched on the topic of parenting MANY TIMES because it was so important to God!  Important enough that the fifth commandment emphasizes it: “Respect your father and mother – GOD, your God, commands it! You’ll have a long life; the land that God is giving you will treat you well.”

________________________________

I’m currently getting reacquainted with my grown son, Troy! He had foot surgery at the first of the year and I get to drive him to and from work four days every week! That’s an hour a day for us to just talk and enjoy one another! How cool is that?

You see, I’m still a dad! I now have the benefit of guiding my son [and daughter] and being guided by my son and his sister! It’s the best of both worlds! And each of them have spoken words to me that I needed to hear! Plus, they’ve emerged as key participants on my prayer team! After Debbie, they’re the first ones I turn to for prayer! Next in line are Rylie and Coltin; take my word for it – God seems to give special attention to the prayers of children and youth!  😉

AFFIRMING AND CORRECTING

The parenting role involves us…

Let’s take a little break here before we continue.

 

Some quick research reveals that:

 

“In raw numbers, there are 23.1 million American homes with nuclear families (married couples with children) out of 130 million households.”

 

[https://dailycitizen.focusonthefamily.com/just-18-of-american-households-are-families-with-married-parents/]

 

Maybe you should read that again? 

 

It’s kind of shocking!

 

The parenting role no longer seems to involve “us” in our culture!

 

As a consequence, God’s original plan of having a mother AND father in the home to collaborate on raising the children with the masculine AND feminine perspective having vital influence – seems to be in serious trouble in our culture!

 

Has anyone concluded that this may be at least part of the reason for the cultural collapse that we witness daily on our news reports?

As I was saying: The parenting role involves us in a God-given assignment of caring for our children and guiding them through the maturation process.

I’ll remind you of two outstanding observations:

1.   Psychologists advise that a child’s personality is fully developed by approximately the age of seven! 

Hmmm…what does that tell us about those first seven years and the power of parental investment?

2.   The human brain is not fully developed until around the age of 26.

To me, these facts SCREAM of the need for parental involvement!

It’s challenging! It’s demanding!  It calls for sacrifice!  It can be exhausting!  Yes – to all of these! But our kids are DEPENDENT on us to help them find their way to maturity and responsibility!

____________________________________

We must find our way through this complex and difficult maze of responsibility!

In the best case scenario, it takes a male and female team so that each of our kids – whether male or female – have an advocate of understanding!

I’ve observed before that our variant roles tend to switch in the middle of the process!

Our kids tend to identify most with their same-sex parent during the early years of development. However, somewhere around puberty they gravitate toward their opposite-sex parent.

I’m convinced that this is the plan of God! 

For the first ten years [or so] little boys identify most strongly with their dads – if they’re available! They learn by watching and imitating! We’ve all seen this!

Likewise, for the first tens years [or so] little girls identify most strongly with their moms – if they’re available! They also learn by watching and imitating!

THEN, HOWEVER, A SWITCH TAKES PLACE!

Gradually [and sometimes suddenly] they switch their alliance to the opposite-sex parent – if they’re available.

I believe this also is part of God’s plan! 

Dads and moms – when present – then have the ability to guide and instruct their opposite-sex children in the confusing and overwhelming role of relating to the opposite sex! 

Isn’t this GREAT?  God has placed a dad [when available] in the lives of his daughters to help them to learn about males: how they think, why they do the things they do, how they tend to communicate, how they tend to relate to females, and so on….  This daughter has – right in her home [hopefully] – what I call “A Spy from the other side”! She can learn vital information from her dad about how males think, react, act, communicate, etc., etc.

And, of course, the same is true for growing boys! They also [hopefully] have “A Spy from the other side” in their mom! If they’re willing to turn to her, she can teach them about the way females respond, communicate, grow, interact, etc., etc.

It’s a GENIOUS PLAN – instituted by God!  This was all devised at the very beginning and has been functioning reasonably well ever since!

A WORD OF GRACE

I’m fully aware that many are raising their family as a one-parent family. I also recognize that this is not always by choice. Many women and some men are bringing up their children alone.

God’s grace is available to these dedicated people – if they call on Him! Although it may not be in accord with His original plan, He is a ready resource for anyone who sincerely calls on His name!

We’re reminded by the song sung for many years: “Jesus loves the little children; all the children of the world: red and yellow, black and white – they’re all precious in His sight! Jesus loves the little children of the world!”

His protection and guidance is open to all who genuinely seek Him! 

Don’t think for a moment that you disappear from His view because your family doesn’t line up with His original plan! He is as much available to you as to anyone!  Call on Him today!