I WAS NEW - AND YOU GREETED ME!

Debbie and I attend the Bethel Evangelical Presbyterian Church in Enon Valley.  We are still quite new to this congregation and cannot be there every Sunday because of occasional preaching assignments that come along for me.  I've always recognized the difficulty new attenders face in acclimating to a new church family. We have experienced this at least twice since my retirement two years ago. I am not a particularly outgoing person anymore, partly due to my severe hearing challenges. It is easy for me to simply slip out after worship and wait for Debbie in the car. This, of course, hampers the assimilation process considerably. I know that I must resist this 'avoidance behavior' and engage with people if I want to genuinely become part of the church family. However, it's hard to do so. If it's hard for me, imagine how difficult it is for a seeker who is not at all familiar with the expectations of participating in a church service. Many years ago (while serving the Oakland Church), I led a couple to Christ through marriage counseling. They opened my eyes to so many things through their casual comments and questions. She asked me once about all of the initials we used in our bulletin: FMY, CLC, WMFI, and LLMI. They helped me realize that these were 'insider terms' that were unwelcoming to guests. She also asked how everyone knew the words to the doxology? After that I printed the hymnal page for the offertory response.

At Bethel, I have pretty quickly learned that we usually stand to sing. When our pastor completes the reading of the scripture, he uses a liturgical statement:  "This is the Word of the Lord";  I now know that the congregation's response is, "Thanks be to God for His Word".  We stand and sing the doxology after the offering has been received.  I enjoy such involvement and find that it opens a way for me to give voice to my gratitude to God.

Learning the ropes of a congregation takes time and effort.  Some practices may be slightly off-putting or (more positively) challenging.  I've never been a fan of need-sharing in worship simply because most of the time you can't hear what's being said.  But at Bethel it is handled nicely by two ushers who hurry to the person with a microphone.  Following this sharing time, Pastor Jerry (Dodds) purposefully prays for every need that has been mentioned as we all agree with him in our own prayers.  It's a connecting time that is a nicely handled expression of genuine concern!

Having been a pastor, I know that the best way to assimilate people quickly and efficiently is to involve them in a small group!  Most churches (from my vantage point) struggle with this challenge.  Therefore, the new attender is often left to his/her own initiative in getting significantly involved.

I always trained leaders to be intentional about connecting with new people.  For instance, they knew that I was not available to them on Sunday morning;  I was focused on the crowd at that time!  I trained leaders to deliberately connect with newer people repeatedly.  They could then help the congregation to also connect!  This was an effective plan because new attenders were honored that a church leader remembered their name and was intentional about speaking to them.

The challenge of assimilating is not going to go away.  A growing church is going to continually see new faces.  If those people are going to become a part of the church community, it will be because someone was persistent in helping them to connect and fit in!  Where no effort is being made in this area, guests will show up for a service or two and then withdraw in disappointment.

Every church needs to systematically asses its plan for assimilating new people.

• What is our assimilation plan?
• Who is responsible for it?
• How will we know that we are being effective?
• Who follows up on the people who are slipping through the cracks?
• How do we keep our congregation focused on this need?
• What is our time-table for evaluating effectiveness at this crucial process?

A 1-2 minute 'greeting time' is a poor excuse for an assimilation plan - especially if guests are left standing awkwardly during those pregnant moments!  

John 13:35  (KJV)

By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

To some extent, the burden for assisting new people to fit in rests on the whole congregation.  There is a man at Bethel Church who worked at Townsend Company (Fallston - New Brighton, PA) with my Dad years ago.  My first Sunday at Bethel, he sought me out to remind me that he worked with my Dad.  You must realize that there are not a lot of people around today who knew my father.  Making this connection meant the world to me!  Even this morning, Lloyd's wife made a genuine connection with me following worship.  It made me feel accepted!  

Ah, how vital that is!  

Maybe each of us who are part of a church family can have new eyes next worship service toward those who may be new attenders.  

While we were attending the Springfield Church of God, I would be greeted by people frequently who would say, "Are you new to worshipping with us?"  Even though I wasn't necessarily new, I was always warmed by the fact that they made a deliberate attempt to greet me!  

We have more power and influence than we realize!  Why not put it to work?