THE HARDEST PART OF GROWING OLD

I recently wrote about my years of leading the Oakland Free Methodist Church.  They were stressful years for many reasons.  The pursuit of my educational goals was one of those reasons.  After finally completing my Master of Divinity degree, I decided to go a big step further to acquire a master's degree in counseling.  I was accepted at the Franciscan University of Steubenville and began attending classes in the fall of 1990.

Our class was relatively small with perhaps twenty students - almost all of which were considerably younger than me. Attending a charismatic Catholic University was a stretch for me.  No one there had ever heard of the Free Methodist Church.  Making connections was a challenge. 

However, this one fellow and I clicked.  His name was Ed Andrade.  He was a handsome, charming, friendly guy who immediately accepted me and became my friend!  Ed was a 'people person' to the 'Nth' degree.  Everybody loved and admired him.  His primary gifts were in loving and accepting people and doing all that he could do to move them along on their journey.  

Ed immediately gave me a 'comfort zone' from which to operate. I went by Harold in those days; I loved the way Ed said my name, somehow he managed to stick a 'w' into it!  😉  My other classmates were also friendly and accepting of me. I became close to several of them as well, and they made my journey quite enjoyable.

A big part of our bond emerged from our common love for God and desire to be godly men!  I felt that - in Ed - I had found a truly godly brother!  I loved every minute that we had together.  I was in their apartment many times during those two years.  

Ed and I deepened our friendship by getting our spouses together also.  They came to our home in East Liverpool several times.  Our kids were young teens about that time.  Ed and Holly were expecting their first.  We socialized on a number of occasions and even attended Kolbe's christening.  

I remember a Sunday that Ed and Holly came to visit us in the afternoon.  When it came time for me to head to church for our evening service, we invited them to come along.  They did.  At the end of the service, I introduced Ed and invited him to give the closing prayer for our service.  In the Free Methodist Church, we are considerably less formal than you would find in a Catholic Church.  I think I shook Ed with my request, but he stood and offered a beautiful prayer from his heart - which was the only way he knew to pray!

For a while, we shared office space with one of our professors as each of us considered opening a counseling office.  Ed's skills were matched to his ability to make quick, deep connections with people!  

But, after our graduation our paths took us in different directions.  In 1995, Debbie and I moved our family to Maryland for several years.  Ed and Holly grew their family and eventually ended up living in Florida.  

One of the deep regrets of my life will always be that I didn't cling to this friendship!  Ed had become a true Christian brother and had helped me negotiate those challenging years.  

All of my classmates and several of my professors encouraged and helped me during that span of two years.  I was struggling with my call to ministry and seriously considering other avenues to pursue.  My depressive experiences were peaking during this time and Franciscan University became a nurturing and accepting environment for me.  I will be forever grateful for the small group interactions, the lunchtime dialogues, the encouragement received from several of our professors and the rich experience of sharing the mass with my new friends!  

Thank you to all of you for accepting me and befriending me!  My life's journey has been deeply enriched by your impact!

I received news this morning that my dear friend, Ed Andrade, has passed into the everlasting arms of Jesus!  My sadness is beyond describing!  My regret over not maintaining this friendship will travel with me!  Friendships like Ed and I enjoyed are rare.  I should have recognized that and worked harder at staying connected.  I would have been richer for it!  My tears flow freely and my sadness for Ed's family is overwhelming!  This was a good, good man!  

But the comfort we have as followers of Christ is the knowledge that we shall be together again - FOR ALL ETERNITY!  

May God be forever praised and may Holly and Ed's beautiful family be comforted by the Holy Spirit during these hard, hard days.  

PHILOSOPHY WAS NOT MY FAVORITE TOPIC

Between the years of 1969-1973, I acquired a Bachelor's Degree in Religion and Philosophy from Roberts Wesleyan College.  I continued to study theology, ethics, practical ministry and philosophy at Asbury Theological Seminary from 1973-1976.  After beginning my life in the ministry, I returned to study more of the same, finally attaining a Master's of Divinity Degree from Pittsburgh Theological Seminary [1987].  For the record, pursuing a seminary degree necessarily involves you in a constant barrage of classes to initiate deep, philosophical discussions.  In addition, required thesis papers abound that call on you to respond to the philosophical schools of thought and your personal responses to them! 

I must confess that I never enjoyed the study of philosophy!  They were the most difficult books for me to understand.  I found myself reading each book two or three times in an effort to comprehend the content.  I groaned with each philosophy course that I was required to take.  

The following is evidence that I actually did pay attention in my classes:

“Abandon all hope, you who enter here.” This warning stands etched for eternity over the gates of Dante’s hell. It is one of the most famous lines in literature, and rightly so. It marks the beginning of Dante’s descent, following the footsteps of Christ, into the heart of the earth — a sobering journey that puts both the fear and fitness of divine justice on full display.

I eventually came to think that these words – “Abandon all hope, you who enter here.” – should have been etched above the doors of every seminary! 

I assume that the reason for my dissonance was the mere fact that I am wired toward practical thinking and reasoning.  I came from the home of a nail maker and a home maker.  Discussions at our dinner table were of day-to-day practicalities.  A love for the Church and a love for Jesus was the dominant teaching of my growing-up home!  My siblings were considerably older and didn't have much of an impact on my formation.  

I was the first of my Grandma Haire's grandchildren to graduate from college.  Her brother - James Okey Archer - was the only other pastor on either side of my family tree.  I had great respect for him and viewed him more like a grandfather than a great-uncle.  

My vocation was set when I received my call to ministry at the age of seventeen.  [Click the link to read about my 'Call'.]  https://hal-lelujah.blogspot.com/2012/05/call-part-1.html

My years of education finally ended in 1992, when I acquired a Master of Arts Degree in Counseling from the Franciscan University of Steubenville.  

During my education at PTS, I was challenged by a professor to be a lifelong learner.  Actually, he perturbed me in a small, very personal class.  He mockingly stated that the last book a seminary student reads for his/her coursework will likely be the last book they will ever read!  He expounded on the fact that most graduates that he knew were no longer stimulating their thinking with new thoughts and ideas.  His attitude and disdain triggered a resolve in me that I would be different!  Soon after graduating, I determined that I would make it my goal to read a book-a-week for the rest of my life!  

It was a challenging goal!  With the dual ambitions of being a great husband/dad and also an effective church leader, I found that my reading goal would have to be carefully protected!  Joyfully, I was privileged to have responsibility for growing churches - which added stress and pressure to my life!  However, my young adult challenge maintained a high priority for me.  

My books have usually been kept in my church study [with some being kept at home].  I was often asked if I’d read all of my books.  My answer: “most of them, but some are reference books that are not intended to be read from beginning to end.” 

So, you ask: “Hal, did you read a book-a-week through-out your life?”

Hal: “Not even close!  I fell far short!  However, I did read lots of books and they enriched my life and my ministry greatly!”

Upon my retirement in 2017, I found many distractions to keep me busy.  Without the demands of pastoral ministry, I found many other ways to fill my days.  Without ever thinking about it, I just quit reading – except for novels.  Debbie had coaxed me throughout the years to read novels; I learned to enjoy and appreciate them.  

Lo and behold, a plot began to take shape in my mind.  When COVID-19 hit in 2020, I – like everyone else – was sequestered.  I began to give shape to my novel thoughts! 😉  By the end of that year I self-published my first Christian/Romance novel: LONELY FOR A LONG TIME.

Within the next three years I was able to publish three semi-sequels:

·         A LIFE REPURPOSED

·         OVERWHELMED, and

·         NEVER UNREACHABLE.

There’s still another plot ruminating in my mind, but I don’t feel compelled to develop it at present.

LET’S END THIS OVERLY LONG MONOLOGUE!

In recent months I have been recalled to my original goal of reading.  After significantly reducing the volume of books in my study, I am now beginning again to add to its number!  Fortunately, as a result of my purge, I have room for new books.  👍

Throughout my retirement, I begin my day in my study reading.  Of course it includes scripture!  But I have also always tried to stay stimulated by reading history, biographies, and devotional classics.  And, by the way, I also try to include something philosophical!  I’m currently working through Os Guinness’ THE JOURNEY: Our Quest for Faith and Meaning.  Just like the old days, I find myself reading some pages two or three times! 

It was actually an article in Guinness’ book that triggered this blog!

One segment was about Charles Darwin, the famed naturalist and author of ORIGIN OF SPECIES.  The following excerpt initially raised my hopes – and then immediately crushed them!  If you feel adventurous – read on.  🙄 

[Darwin writing to a friend]  “Another source of conviction in the existence of God, connected with the reason, and not with the feelings, impresses me as having more weight. This follows from the extreme difficulty or rather impossibility of conceiving this immense and wonderful universe, including man with his capacity of looking far backwards and far into the futurity, as the result of blind chance or necessity. When thus reflecting I feel compelled to look to a First Cause having an intelligent mind in some degree analogous to that of man; and I deserve to be called a Theist.”

Up to this point, I was feeling very hopeful – but then, I read on…

“This conclusion was strong in my mind about the time, as far as I can remember, when I wrote the Origin of Species; and it is since that time that it has very gradually, with many fluctuations, become weaker. But then arises the doubt, can the mind of man, which has, as I fully believe, been developed from a mind as low as that possessed by the lowest animals, be trusted when it draws such grand conclusions?”  [Guinness, p.151]

Oh, Charlie, so near – and yet so far!  

Expand your mind this week – read a good book and challenge yourself!