I entered college at this same time in 1969. After having lived with my brother [and his family] for the summer, I headed for Roberts Wesleyan College near Rochester, New York. My parents brought my stuff from home and helped me move in. It surely must have been a big day for them, too, especially since I was the last of four to leave their home!
But RWC is a Christian college in the tradition that I was raised in. It was a safe environment with lots of excellent role models, curfews, and other guard rails to help us make wise decisions.
OH, there were those who went drinking on weekends. We were free to pursue the things that fascinated us. Lots of couples formed early in that process. Friendships began to align and 'college life' became our new focus.
I had been raised well and had already received my 'call' into the ministry. This was important to me and helped me to stay anchored. I chose not to align myself with the other 'ministerial' students. They quickly found one another and formed alliances that held them together through their college career. But I was more eclectic in forming friendships. Several of my roommates lived lifestyles radically different than mine. That created some tension, but not so much as to be a major problem.
My early-rising to read the Bible was a challenge to my first roommate, John-from-Long-Island! He was unmerciful in dealing with me, telling others that his roommate was the Apostle Paul. I learned to get up quietly, grab my Bible and notebook and head for the freezing-cold kitchen to have my devotions. To my surprise, when some others discovered that I was doing this, they decided to join me. It turned into an early morning Bible study!
I became very active in our class. Debbie and I represented our class in the Homecoming events of that first year. I became the chaplain of the chorale. At the end of the year, I was elected to be the 'Religious Life Director' for our sophomore year. I recruited a team to help me lay plans and manage the funding that was available to us. We had a great year of stellar events and had a ton of fun doing it!
The college provided lots of activities to keep us busy. There was little need to go outside of the college for entertainment or fun.
I went to church every Sunday. I was drafted at Pearce Memorial Church [the campus church] to teach a Sunday School class for young-teen boys! The youth pastor recruited me to help him plan events for the church and community youth! I learned a lot from him (and also the one who followed him).
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However, many who are going to college today won't have the same safety zone that I enjoyed. They will be subject to:
- sexual predators
- radical ideology
- rigid classroom formats that may be unfriendly to their way-of-thinking
- cultural mores that are significantly adverse to their home environments
- the typical temptation to have fun instead of focusing on their studies
- open environments that invite experimentation with sexual activity, drugs, alcohol, etc.
However, even in these environments there will be some safe zones. There will be other Christian students on campus. When/if they find one another, support systems can be formed. Campus ministries are also often available as a resource to students.
But the main resource for these new students will be their family! Parents need to stay connected by:
- praying for their young people daily and asking for God's protection for them
- asking how things are going
- receiving and responding to grade report periods
- supporting events that are open to parents
- talking with them about what they are learning and how they are being challenged
- asking them occasionally how they are doing spiritually
This is NOT a time to release your kids! Remember that their brain will not be fully formed until they reach the age of approximately 26. They are still very much in a formative stage of development.
Protect the massive investment that you've made over the last eighteen years! Your influence isn't finished yet! Stay involved! In most cases, you're paying the bill for this education that your child is receiving. Hold them accountable. Be proactive! Check up on them regularly!
You've established a foundation for their lives! Don't let some friends or professors build inappropriately on that foundation! Protect it! Stay involved. Let YOUR voice continue to be heard and respected. All of this can be done without inhibiting their sense of freedom and independence!
You want them to grow and develop independence - of course! However, you want them to do so in an environment that has guard-rails! You are part of the guard-rails!
God bless you as you launch your child into adulthood!
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