BALAAM'S ASS

I was raised in a home where profanity was never used. I was slapped one day for saying "Holy Cow!". My mom then explained to me that NOTHING was holy except God! You get the picture, right?

But, like any curious and mischievous kid, I loved the parts of the Bible that used words that we weren't allowed to speak in our homes.

My favorite was from the book of Numbers.

The essence of this lengthy story [chapters 22-24] concerned the Israelites as they tried to journey to the Promised Land. Moses asked permission for his people to pass through the country of Moab, promising that they would do no damage and take nothing from the land.

However, the king of Moab was very threatened by the immensity of the sea of people and animals. He not only refused to give them permission to pass through his land, but even called on a prophet of God named Balaam to pronounce a curse on the Israelites.

Four distinct times, the prophet, Balaam, tried to accommodate the king of Moab's request, but each time, God did not allow Balaam to curse Israel!

This was where it got interesting, because in chapter 22, God tried to get Balaam's attention through an angel sent to speak to him. However, for some reason, Balaam - apparently distracted - didn't see the angel. However, Balaam's ass DID SEE THE ANGEL! 

Being immature kids, we boys would giggle when we heard our Sunday School teacher read this passage from the King James Version of the Bible! Hearing this respected person repeatedly using the word ‘ass’ was almost more than we could handle!

The Message Bible uses the word ‘donkey’. The following passage will show you how often this word was used in the story and how this somewhat humorous vignette unfolded and delighted us:  [Numbers 22:22-34 TM]

Balaam got up in the morning, saddled his donkey, and went off with the noblemen from Moab. As he was going, though, God’s anger flared. The angel of God stood in the road to block his way. Balaam was riding his donkey, accompanied by his two servants. 

When the donkey saw the angel blocking the road and brandishing a sword, she veered off the road into the ditch. Balaam beat the donkey and got her back on the road.

But as they were going through a vineyard, with a fence on either side, the donkey again saw God’s angel blocking the way and veered into the fence, crushing Balaam’s foot against the fence. Balaam hit her again.

God’s angel blocked the way yet again—a very narrow passage this time; there was no getting through on the right or left. Seeing the angel, Balaam’s donkey sat down under him. Balaam lost his temper; he beat the donkey with his stick. [I suppose this is where someone came up with the threat: “beat your ass”?]

Then God gave speech to the donkey. She said to Balaam: “What have I ever done to you that you have beat me these three times?”

Balaam said, “Because you’ve been playing games with me! If I had a sword I would have killed you by now.”

The donkey said to Balaam, “Am I not your trusty donkey on whom you’ve ridden for years right up until now? Have I ever done anything like this to you before? Have I?”

He said, “No.”

Then God helped Balaam see what was going on: He saw God’s angel blocking the way, brandishing a sword. Balaam fell to the ground, his face in the dirt.

God’s angel said to him: “Why have you beaten your poor donkey these three times? I have come here to block your way because you’re getting way ahead of yourself. The donkey saw me and turned away from me these three times. If she hadn’t, I would have killed you by this time, but not the donkey. I would have let her off.”

Balaam said to God’s angel, “I have sinned. I had no idea you were standing in the road blocking my way. If you don’t like what I’m doing, I’ll head back.”

You’ll be happy to know that Balaam was faithful to God and never pronounced a curse against Israel! He does, however, end up pronouncing a curse against Moab [24:15-17]. 

The unfortunate thing for Balaam – this faithful man of God – is that many of us don’t think too much of him, but we still giggle at Balaam’s ass!