MOM

It’s remarkable to me that I have written far more about my dad than I have about my mom.  As much as I loved and respected my dad, he was far less engaged with me than my mom was.  She was clearly the primary parent – the real molder and shaper of who I was to become.

She died in 1981 from complications related to her heart.  She lived long enough for our daughter, Tracie, to be born and even held her once.  Unfortunately, neither Troy nor Tracie have any memories of her.  However, she doted on Travis when given the opportunity and went to extremes to influence him. 

She amazed me in so many ways! 

She always knew when I was faking sickness because I didn’t want to go to school [probably because of a test or not having my homework finished].  She would take my temperature and tell me to go ahead and go. Then she would add that if I still felt badly later in the morning, have the nurse call and she would come to bring me home. 

She had been raised in a Scottish Presbyterian home and then aligned with the Free Methodists after marrying my dad.  I wonder if there were any discussions about that?  It certainly represented a pretty significant theological change. 

The Free Methodists during that time were practicing a very legalistic form of faith.  It could probably be best described by a statement I read in a Tim Hansel book:

“Christians don’t dance.
Christians don’t drink.
Christians don’t swear.
Christians don’t smoke…and
Christians don’t like each other.” [Holy Sweat, p.107]

A group of women quickly took my mom to the back of the sanctuary and told her that to be a good Free Methodist, she would have to remove her diamond ring.  My dad had bought that beautiful ‘basket-weave’ ring at a ‘close-out’ auction on 7^th Avenue in Beaver Falls.  But she removed it and tucked it away in her dresser for the next forty years! 

Eventually, her eyes were opened to the foolishness of her actions when she became active with a vibrant group of Christian businesswomen who wore exceptionally nice clothes and excessively beautiful jewelry.  Her comment to my dad was: “Leonard, these women are so full of the Holy Spirit!, and they really know how to pray!”   

The ring came out and she wore it until 1973, when she gave it to her poor son to use as his engagement gift to his fiancé.  😉  [to read that blog article: https://hal-lelujah.blogspot.com/2011/12/engagement.html]

She was a proud home-maker! Her day was spent doing the laundry, cleaning the house, preparing meals, and raising her family!  Married August 17, 1934, their first child – Jeannette - came along in February of 1937.  Ira followed in 1940. Beverly was born in 1944.  And I was their only baby-boomer, born in January, 1952.  The parenting role that began in 1937 finally came to a conclusion in 1969 when I graduated from high school and left home.  That’s thirty-two years she invested in raising, training and releasing us! 

Her extra-curricular activities were centered around serving the church.  She held many roles over the years:

o Sunday School teacher,
o Cradle Roll Director
o Women’s Missionary Society [WMS] president
o Pittsburgh Conference WMS president for a number of years
o She was an elected delegate [twice] to the Free Methodist National WMS Conference
o As WMS Director, she developed an evangelism program referred to as ‘Coffee-Cup Evangelism’ and promoted it aggressively across the Pittsburgh Conference

Although my dad said the prayer before our evening meal each night, my mom was clearly the spiritual leader of our home!  It was she who taught each of us to pray at the side of our bed!  It was she who built excitement in us as ‘the Lord’s Day’ approached!  It was she who modeled a love for God’s Word constantly before our eyes! 

For many years, she kept a plastic loaf of bread on our table that was filled with small cards that included verses from the Bible.  Someone would be delegated to draw out a card and read it before our evening meal.

Her outstanding gift was hospitality!  I often wonder who wound up with her ‘Guest Book’?  It was a long list of missionaries and denominational leaders who had stayed in our home or eaten at our table!  Most Sundays, our table was filled with guests and opened to its full length!  She had done as much preparation on Saturday evening as possible [potatoes were ALWAYS peeled and covered with water on Saturday evenings]!

Oh yes! Part of her Scottish Presbyterian background included a strict observance of the Lord’s Day!  In our home, there was no television, no games, no outdoor playing on Sundays.  It was a challenge growing up in that environment.  Eventually, dad decided that we could watch television after returning home from the evening service.  I also recall a few times that he took me out in the front yard and threw a ball with me; I’m sure my mom was not happy about that! 

She was also a staunch prohibitionist!  She was a member of the Prohibitionist Party.  She was a leader in the Women’s Christian Temperance Union [WCTU].  !  [For a humorous story see: https://hal-lelujah.blogspot.com/2011/12/egg-nog.html]

But her strong belief system anchored each of us.  All four of us lived out our faith by following in the ways that she had initiated in our lives

After the death of both of my parents, I was gifted with their Bibles.  My mom’s are a treasure-chest of notes, dates and observations.  She went through two, with the first one being given a home-made cover with pockets to hold all of her prayer lists.  She believed in the power of prayer!  Of all the things that she modeled for me – THIS IS THE MOST VALUABLE!  She believed in prayer and practiced it!  Her faith was childlike!  She prayed about all things!  Her Bible is stuffed with lists of people that she had promised to pray for!  I always knew that her prayers followed me!

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Not many folks remember my mom.  I was only 29 when she died!  I know she was proud of me being in the ministry. 

After all these years, I confess that I don’t consciously think of her every day.  That makes me sad, since her impact was so dominant! 

But I do recall that after graduation, I was ready to leave the nest.  Even at the young age of seventeen, I was ready to spread my wings.  Thanks to her foundation-building, I never strayed far from the path she set my feet on. 

I have several pictures of her in my study.  When I examine those pictures, I do so with the knowledge that she set my feet firmly on the path that I still continue following.  Essentially, she’s the one who led me to the Lord!  She wanted me to know Him intimately and modeled a godly life for me faithfully! 

Thanks, Mom!  I’m looking forward to seeing you again someday – probably not too far off!  I love You! 

Your youngest, [the baby] 😊

Harold

 

PS  -  Don’t be confused if you hear a bunch of people referring to me as Hal.  After you and dad were gone I shortened my name a bit.  But I’m still your son!  ❤

 

PPS  -   I mostly remember my mom as being robust woman.  However, her diabetes and heart problems eventually caused her to lose a lot of weight.  She ultimately became quite frail.  A lot of the pictures that remain are of her and dad camping.  They LOVED their little camping trailer and being part of the ‘Happy Wanderers’ camping club!  Eventually, they brought their camper to the Tri-State Campground each year for Family Camp! 

     

HOW TO GROW A PASTOR

 As a young, novice pastor I faced lots of challenges without the benefit of a mentor.  In 1976, the use of mentors for pastors was a rarity - unfortunately.  I was leading a church in Jeannette, PA.  A nearby, experienced pastor - J. D. States - did reach out to me and we met a time or two.  He even suggested a pulpit exchange between his church [Penn Hills FMC] and mine [Penn Hills - at that time, was a thriving, growing church!].

Upon my appointment, the Pittsburgh Conference simultaneously went from three superintendents to one.  He was obviously overwhelmed as a result of this significant change.  Consequently, he never checked in with me during that first traumatic year.  

In spite of my struggling, the church began to grow and ultimately nearly doubled in size within two years.  [I had inherited a brand new building with a deeply split congregation of around forty mostly older people.]  However, the power structures within the church were overbearing.  They refused to allow me to bring these new converts in as members.  A key leaders' wife suffered from a self-declared, mental condition.  Sometimes she would greet me joyfully and praise my work; the next time she would be dark and threatening.  

I did reach out to a fellow pastor who was a bit older than me.  We met a few times and exchanged ministry ideas and prayed for one another, but it did not attain the level of support and help that I needed.

Sadly, the result of this dilemma caused me to ask for a move after only two years.  I have longed many times for a different ending to that story!  New believers were abandoned.  The church immediately plummeted back to forty people.  A few years ago, the Pittsburgh Conference sold that building with its ten acres of land in the middle of a developing community.  I mourn that fateful decision I made forty-eight years ago.

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Young or new pastors need support, encouragement and equipping!

Despite their giftedness, creativity and resourcefulness, they need coaching and an experienced guide to walk with them!  Leading a church is HARD WORK!  Opposition abounds!  We hear little about this, but the church is one of the largest operations in the world to utilize almost exclusively volunteer labor!  

I had a highly successful businessman in one of my congregations at a time when the church I was leading had doubled in size.  During one of our occasional lunches I told him that I envied him.  He had a perplexed look on his face, so I explained.  

You own your business and hire your employees.  When you tell them what to do, they do it, or you fire them.  In my work, I have to recruit, train and deploy people to do the work of the church without the incentive of a paycheck and without any direct line of authority.

 As (if) a church grows, a pastor does gain respect and an increase in influence.  However, a congregation's resistance to change is persistent and highly frustrating to a determined leader!  

• Fast-adaptors are few - probably less than ten percent of a congregation.
• Convincible adaptors will support new ideas with a measure of interest and a hopeful attitude.  They are not quick, but they are willing to see the benefits that can come through change.  They probably make up about thirty percent of the congregation.
• Late adaptors may eventually come along after much evidence is presented and deeper trust in the leadership is developed.  Until they are thoroughly convinced, however, they are oppositional!  They likely make up another thirty percent of a congregation.
• Resisters rarely adapt and remain oppositional and negative even when the changes have proven effective!  They typically get left behind and resent the new people who are becoming significant to the growth of the church!  

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Are you seeing the struggle that pastors deal with regularly?

Although the church did not provide me with mentors and coaches, or even attentive leaders, I did have a few consistent and dedicated prayer warriors who stood faithfully behind me!

The value gained from this kind of persistence cannot be fully appreciated!  This is why I survived!

First, there was my mother.  I rarely write about her, but she was THE MAJOR FORCE IN MY LIFE!  She taught me to pray.  She cultivated in me a love for the Lord.  She modeled leadership consistently through the years through her impact in the Women's Missionary Society, Coffee-Cup Evangelism, Christian Business Women's Association [although she wasn't a business woman] and a dedicated prayer life that impacted the lives of hundreds of people!  She eventually re-covered her Bible with pockets that she packed with prayer lists!  I knew that every Sunday morning, she was interceding for me!  

Second, there was my Uncle James Archer [actually, my great uncle who was more like a grandpap].  Officially known as JO, he was the only other pastor in my family.  He received his first appointment without being consulted while he was a layman in the New Brighton, PA Free Methodist Church.  I remember my pride when he was recognized for sixty years of service while I was an emerging pastor in the conference!  Everyone loved to hear Uncle James pray in his deep bass voice and great intimacy with God.  Uncle James always assured me that he was praying for me EVERY SUNDAY MORNING!  This was a great comfort to me!

My sister, Beverly, developed into a replication of our mom!  Over the years, she was my first resource for prayer after my mom and Uncle James had passed away.  Through the years, I always knew - every Sunday morning - she was praying for me!  She maintained a deep and intimate prayer relationship with God that could be relied on.  Those who know her will concur that on Facebook, she was constantly assuring people that she would be praying for them!  And I can assure you that when she made these commitments - she followed through!  In recent years she has been deeply impacted by dimentia.  I miss her dearly.  She still sparks with enthusiasm at times when she speaks of the Lord and her dedication to prayer, but her memory only lasts for a few moments now and she needs constant direction and support.  I'm grateful for the love and dedication of my brother-in-law, Dick, for being at her side twenty-four/seven!  

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I've just completed an interim assignment at The Foundery Free Methodist Church in Wellsburg, West Virginia.  Finally, after over a year of waiting, the church has been assigned a pastor.  He will serve as an interim until he completes some necessary educational and denominational requirements.  Hopefully, by next summer he will be appointed as the Lead Pastor of the church!  

Bobby Westfall is an intelligent, creative, passionate leader who has placed his entire trust in the Lord to direct the affairs of his family.  His wife, Stacy, is a dedicated mother who is also a Local Ministerial Candidate with interest in working with youth!  Together, they are raising four beautiful children:  Arabella, Madison, Jackson and Charlotte.  

I cannot understate the potential of this emerging leader!  In his first week on the job [which is just ending], he mobilized the church to send much-needed-supplies to the hurricane victims in the south!  That's right, the first shipment has already been delivered, and more is being collected!  One week!  What's that tell you about the potential of this new pastor?  

Bobby has invited me to continue to meet with him as a mentor!  I am excited to have the opportunity to shape, encourage and prayerfully support this younger leader!  I make him a promise here-and-now:  Bobby, every Sunday morning - as long as I live - I'll be praying for you!  

May God bless and encourage you!  May He keep you clean and pure and dedicated to His work!  May He resource you with everything you will need to grow His Church and increase His Kingdom!  May He foster humility in you as you lead and see the accompanying growth as fruit for your labor.  May He keep you approachable and caring and with your family in the foreground [and not the background]! 

I'll be watching from a distance with expectation and joy!  God bless you man!