AT - PREP

Two weeks from today I will - Lord willing - be on the trail!  Preparing to hike the Appalachian Trail is a gargantuan project that has several facets.

1. preparing myself physically
2. preparing food and planning food/supply shipments made by Debbie
3. selecting/purchasing gear and making decisions regarding the backpack and its weight

I've been doing some training on the North Country Trail which is near my home.  It has some challenging climbs that are helping to prepare my legs for the Smokies.  I try to do exercises every-other-day that include an upper body workout and lots of stretching.  I'm also on a low-sugar, low-carb diet to drop additional weight before I hit the trail.  

Thru-hikers have a voracious appetite and tend to dream about food all day!  I will carry about a week's worth of food with me when I leave.

BREAKFAST:

• oatmeal/flax/metamucel plus rehydrated fruit
• home-made granola with dried milk  (can be eaten with added water or as a snack)
• breakfast taters  [see video]

LUNCH:

• I have two tubes, one filled with peanut butter and the other with jelly.  I will carry tortillas for sandwiches.  I'll also have beef stick, cheese, and Tracie made me jerky and fruit roll-ups!

SUPPER:

• I'm making many meals using the freezer-bag cooking system.  [see video]
• I'll eat in town and eateries along the way.
• Especially on the southern end, churches and other groups set up feeding stations on the trail to the delight of thru-hikers!
• I'll buy resupply items in towns occasionally along the trail.
• Debbie will strategically ship me resupply packages from time-to-time.

I'm trying to keep my pack as light as I can to make my journey more enjoyable.  I have traditionally carried over forty pounds, but I hope to keep it well under thirty for this trip.  You can read the blog article "AT - IT'S GETTING REAL" for a list of most of my gear.

Some are asking how I feel?

Physically, I feel really good.  I am obviously very excited to get started.  However, I do have anxiety.  I have never backpacked for more than a week!  What makes me think I can stay out there for nearly six months?  I have concerns about ticks, poisen ivy, getting sick, bad people, snakes and bears.  I'm apprehensive about staying dry and warm during the typical, serial rainy days that the AT is famous for!  [Thru-hiker saying:  "No rain - no Maine!"]

What do I look forward to most?

• the independence of the experience
• adventure
• great scenery
• camaraderie with other thru-hikers
• testing myself
• standing on Mt. Katahdin in central Maine!  

Here are a couple of videos you might enjoy:  

https://youtu.be/-3OPyu1B2ZI

https://youtu.be/iY4CPyJdGHo

https://youtu.be/n3eJqvpIZ8c

HEY PREACHER

My first pastoral appointment was to the Tunnel Hill FMC near the village of English in the center of the Hoosier Mountains of southern Indiana.  I was a student at Asbury Theological Seminary at the time.  Most of the older folks at that small congregation called me 'preacher'.  

I thought it was characteristic of the area until I returned to my home conference in Pennsylvania.  The truth is there has always been a small contingent in every church I've served who have simply referred to me by that title.  

It's never bothered me;  I'd heard it used as I was growing up.  One term I did resist was 'Reverend' - somehow, it just never seemed to fit for me.  I did, however, learn from a seminary professor (Gilbert James) that even this title was useful at times.  ;-)

My preferred title has always been 'pastor' because that's what I considered myself to be.  The adjective 'pastoral' relates to the keeping or grazing of sheep, except when used in regard to Christian ministry where it infers giving spiritual guidance.  

It's easy to understand how the term  'preacher' came into common use.  After all, when most people see us is on Sunday when we fulfill one of the more public parts of our role:  preaching.  Therefore, the one who does the preaching is the 'preacher'.  

Preaching has always been important to me.  I knew it was a big part of my public role.  I recognized it as a great privilege and an awesome responsibility.  I worked hard through the years to always be well prepared on Sunday mornings in particular.  Right up until 1997, I also had to be prepared to speak on Sunday evenings.  Add to this the responsibility for Wednesday evenings and I felt like I was in constant preparation mode.  Again, added ammunition for being referred to as 'preacher'.  

I suppose we all (pastors) have our unique ways of preparing.  I know during the crush of responsibility while being a husband, father, full-time-pastor and also advancing educational pursuits, I was guilty of reworking a fair share of Chuck Swindoll's books into Sunday night messages.  (blush)...  But for most of my ministry, the better part of one day per week was used for sermon preparation.  

My style emerged to be one of preaching series messages.  I felt this had a better chance of making a lasting impact on people's lives.  It also laid things out for six (or more) weeks which gave me plenty of time to develop my thoughts.  I kept an active file on each message and added clippings and ideas to it until the writing day arrived.  I preferred to sit down and write from beginning to end - whenever possible.  

NOTE:  I entered the ministry in 1974, and didn't write my messages on a computer until Chip and Ken Poole bought me one at Spencerville, Maryland in 1996.

The writing day was usually Thursday.  I would re-read and tweak the message each day after that until Sunday.  Many Sunday mornings, I would stand in my pulpit long before anyone else arrived and preach the message out loud.  I tend to have an apologetic style of writing and would not catch those phrases until I heard myself voicing them out loud;  so I preached to that empty sanctuary with a pen in hand.  

I almost always approached my Sunday morning responsibility with a great sense of anticipation!  I was genuinely excited to share what I had worked on and prayed over.  

Along with my fellow pastors, I suffered when well-known pastors fell to temptations.  It seemed that we all fell a bit with each of these exposes'.  I had my own role models throughout the years.  To name just a few:  Paul Rees, Don Demaray, John Hendricks, John Huffman, Alistair Begg (made his decision for Christ at a Yorkshire Billy Graham Crusade in 1975), Chuck Smith, Chuck Swindoll, and others.  

I've seen lots of transitions through the years, some of which were:

• transition away from making home visits  (especially unannounced)
• transition toward counseling
• transition to computers
• transition from pastors to ranchers
• transition from pastors to leaders (CEO's)

But still, some people continue to call me 'preacher'.  

We've lost one of the most significant of our group this week in the life and legacy of Billy Graham.  I heard an interview this morning with a highly recognized Christian leader.  He was asked why Billy Graham was able to transcend political parties in influencing presidents.  Debbie was sitting with me as we watched.  Before he could respond, I offered my own answer:  "Because he was a godly man!"  The Christian leader responded that it was because Billy was such a great communicator.  I shouted him down:  "No, no, no.  It was because he was a godly man who was worthy of their trust!"  

The day that Billy died, Karl Rove spoke of the grounding of all airplanes in the U.S. in the aftermath of September 11, 2001.  Then he noted that one (and only one) exception was made.  A commercial flight was approved to get Billy Graham to Washington, D.C. to be a part of comforting the nation.  

He stood above us all without arrogance.  He humbly and simply communicated God's love for all people everywhere and the necessity of having faith in Jesus Christ as the Son of God.  I read that when he toured his own library in Charlotte, NC, he made the following comment at the conclusion of his walk-through:  "Too much Billy, not enough Jesus!"  

I heard it reported this week that in a private conversation with his father, Franklin  Graham asked Billy what he wanted on his tombstone.  His answer was significant and stated in one word:  PREACHER.  

He raised all preachers with that answer!  :-)

ROLE MODELS

Somewhere in a shoe-box in one of our cupboards is a picture of me when I was about ten years old.  My Dad was a delegate to the Free Methodist General Conference in Winona Lake, Indiana.  My Mom was a delegate from the Pittsburgh Conference to the Women's Missionary Society's global conference.  In the picture, I am standing proudly with my hero, Jacob DeShazer.

If you don't recognize the name, he was one of DooLittle's Raiders, who on April 18, 1942, flew a top secret mission to drop bombs on Tokyo, Japan.  This attack was a much needed response to the earlier attack on Pearl Harbor.  The eighty men were all volunteers and this was a very dangerous mission.  Sixteen specially adapted B-25 bombers took off from the deck of the USS Hornet, led by Colonel Jimmy DooLittle.  They were to fly over Japan, drop their bombs and fly on to land in a part of China that was still free.   [credit to www.doolittleraider.com]

Jake DeShazer and the rest of his crew were forced to parachute into enemy territory over Ningpo, China when their B-25 ran out of fuel. DeShazer was injured in his fall into a cemetery and along with the rest of his crew, he was captured the very next day by the Japanese.  During his captivity, he was sent to Tokyo with the survivors of another Doolittle crew, and was held in a series of P.O.W. camps both in Japan and China for 40 months – 34 of them in solitary confinement. He was severely beaten and malnourished while three of the crew were executed by a firing squad, and another died of slow starvation.  As the war came to an end, on 20 August 1945, DeShazer and the others in the camp at Beijing, China were finally released when American soldiers parachuted into the camp.

During his captivity, DeShazer persuaded one of his guards to loan him a copy of the Bible. Although he only had possession of the Bible for three weeks, he saw its messages as the reason for his survival and resolved to become a devout Christian. His conversion included learning a few words of Japanese and treating his captors with respect, which resulted in the guards reacting in a similar fashion.

After his release, DeShazer began studying to be a missionary, eventually to return to Japan with his wife, Florence, in 1948.  DeShazer, the Doolittle Raider who bombed Nagoya, met Captain Mitsuo Fuchida, who led the attack on Pearl Harbor, becoming close friends.  Fuchida became a Christian in 1950 after reading a tract written about DeShazer and spent the rest of his life as a missionary in Asia and the United States. On occasion, DeShazer and Fuchida preached together as Christian missionaries in Japan. In 1959, DeShazer moved to Nagoya to establish a Christian church in the very city he had bombed.   [credit to Wikipedia for some of this history]

My parents did everything in their power to help me select godly models and heroes.  I don't know if they planned this, or if it was just part of their parenting wisdom.  Today's youth are likely to choose heroes from sports, movies, television, or music industries.  Some of these individuals are worthy of emulation - others not so.  Parents can have an impact on the choices of their children and youth.  

When Debbie and I were raising our family, we made the sacrifice and bought family tickets to concerts by Amy Grant, Michael W. Smith, Carmen, Sandy Patti and others.  One time, while attending a Sandy Patti concert, Travis joined her on stage with many other children to sing "Love In Any Language";  he stood right next to her!  :-)  We kept them involved in our church in hopes that they would find appropriate role models among the young adults there.

We don't have to like it, but when our children hit their teens they will often turn away from us.  This is a typical and necessary response that is part of their self-identification process.  Our influence begins to diminish while their peer influence peaks!  During this time, they will select older role models who may play a major influential place in their lives.  

While I led the Oakland Church in East Liverpool, I hired a young lady straight from college to be our Youth Pastor.  Raeanne Thompson (now Barlow) grew our youth program significantly during her years with us!  She reached into some of the poorest parts of our community and drew kids to her side.  She was innovative and fun-loving and the kids respected and admired her.  Travis thought the world of her and defended her activities when they were attacked by older adults who didn't approve of her methods.  Many times, Debbie and I thanked the Lord for her influence on our kids!  

As parents, we need to do everything we can to try to help our kids find worthy heroes!  Much of this process is not fully conscious on their part, so our creative guidance in this area can have an impact!  With a heavy dose of prayer accompanying our stealth direction, we may see very desirable outcomes!  

AT - IT'S GETTING REAL

Something I've been dreaming about for forty-five years is becoming a reality!  Woo Hoo!

I purchased my airline ticket to Atlanta yesterday.  I also arranged my shuttle from Atlanta to Amicalola Falls State Park.  I'll arrive at the park around noon on Friday, March 9th.  At this point, there are over twenty others who are beginning the trail that day.  Literally hundreds will be ahead of us;  some starting in early February.  

I've been purchasing a lot of gear to prepare for my hike.  Up to this point, I've been largely an old-school hiker carrying over forty pounds on my back.  It can be a real joy-robber to carry that kind of weight in rugged terrain.  Since summer, I've done tons of research on light-weight backpacking.  I've spent well north of $600 buying specialized clothing and gear.

Today, I spread everything out on two tables in our living area and began the weighing process.  Here is my pack list (and weights) at present:

• Osprey 58 liter backpack   (41.2 oz.)
• Marmot eos 1 person tent  (50.4 oz.)*
• North Face Down Sleeping bag  (33.3 oz.)
• Klymit Static V2 Air Mattress  (20.3 oz.)
• DIZAUL Solar Charger  (4.8 oz.)**
• North Face wind/rain coat  (11.5 oz.)
• Rain pants  (8.6 oz.)
• Silk glove liners  (1.7 oz.)
• Water-proof mittens  (1.3 oz.)
• Gaiters  (4.6 oz.)
• Trekker trekking poles  (24 oz.)
• Down Jacket  (11.9 oz.)
• Merrell Gore-Tex boots  (36.6 oz.)***
• Katadyn water filter system  (14.2 oz.)
• First Aid bag  (currently 11.5 oz.)
• Hygiene bag  (5.3 oz)
• Pillow  (9 oz.)
• Flashlight  (3.1 oz.)
• LED lamp  (.7 oz.)
• Aluminum cook system:  2 pots, lid, cup, scratcher, ladle  (13.4 oz.)
• Canteen  (11.6 oz.)  [may replace with cheap water bottles]
• Cosys  (2)  (2.2 oz.)
• 2 alcohol  pop-can stoves  (.4 oz.)****
• Headlamp  (3.8 oz.)
• Pack rain cover/bag  (6.3 oz.)
• Mosquito net  (.6 oz.)
• Matches/lighter/bag  (1.6 oz.)
• Dr. Bonner's biodegradeable soap  (2.8 oz.)
• Coleman biowipes  (7.7 oz.)
• OFF can  (6.7 oz.)
• Rope  (3.4 oz.)  
• Reading glasses  (.7 oz.)
• Sunglasses  (1.1 oz.)
• Field repair kit  (1.8 oz.)
• Multi-tool  (6.4 oz.)
• Bear repellent  (11.9 oz.)*****
• AT Guide  (8.8 oz.)  [I will divide this into sections before leaving]  
• Net bag  (1.1 oz.)
• AT balaclava  (1.2 oz.)******
• Stocking cap  (2.9 oz.)
• Hankey  (1.2 oz.)
• Black long-sleeve undershirt  (7.2 oz.)
• Blue long-sleeve undershirt  (8.4 oz.)
• Gray long-sleeve undershirt  (5.5 oz.)
• Fleece pullover  (10.5 oz.)
• Polyester long johns  (6.1 oz.)
• Gray short-sleeve undershirt  (6.2 oz.)
• Black short-sleeve undershirt  (6.7 oz.)
• Blue zip-off pants  (12 oz.)
• Tan zip-off pants  (11.9 oz.)
• Belt  (7 oz.)
• Briefs - 3 pair  (6.2 oz.)
• Linen sock liners - 2 pair  (1.6 oz.)
• Merino wool socks - 3 pair  (7.1 oz.)
• Coleman water treatment bottles  (2.3 oz.)

I'm sure a few items may be added.  I weighed the pack today and was thrilled to have it be slightly less than 21 pounds!  That means with food and water, I should be under 30 pounds - which was my goal.  [Keep in mind I'll be wearing some of the items above, therefore they will not be part of my pack weight.]  

My shuttle driver supplies me with 8 oz. of fuel for my stoves, so that should see me through my first week.  The first eight miles I hike will not count as AT miles.  The access trail from Amicalola Falls to Springer Mountain is a traditional way to start the hike, but the AT mile-count begins at Springer Mountain.  

For the next week or so, I'll be working on meal prep.  My system is referred to as 'Freezer Bag Cooking' (FBC).  Dehydrated meals are prepared ahead of time in Zip-Lock Freezer bags.  The only cooking I will do is heating water to a boil then adding it to the freezer bag and slipping the bag into a cozy for 5+ minutes.  Then I simply eat the food out of the bag with a spork and carry the empty bag out as garbage.  

I'll eat a lot of oatmeal and granola mixes for breakfast with dried fruit added along with other specialties for variety.  Most of my lunches will be PB&J in flour tortillas along with gorp.  I'll occasionally leave the trail for resupply, laundry, and to eat real food!  :-)  Thru-hikers burn an average of around 6,000 calories/day!  They are able to consume massive amounts of food with no weight gain!  

This will be my home during the hike.

Debbie liked my sleeping pad - a lot!  My bag is good to 20 degrees!  :-)

If you're a new reader, I'm recruiting people to pledge per-mile amounts for however much of the trail I am able to complete to benefit International Child Care Ministries Special Projects!  A pledge of $.01/mile would mean a maximum gift of $22.  A pledge of $.05/mile would mean a maximum gift of $109 (and so on).  No money is given until I come home and then it will be given directly to ICCM.  Right now, just let me know how much you'd like to pledge:
Text:  (724) 944-3881
Email:  halinasia@psmail.net
Facebook:  Private message me.
Thanks!  Let's do something great for the kids!

*           Very expensive tent bought by Travis back in 2011

**         Gift from Tracie and Jon

***        Gift from my brother-in-law, Tom Whippo, back in 2011
****      Made for me by my hiking buddy, Derrick Moran

*****    Gift from Tracie and Jon

******  Gift from my awesome son-in-law, Jon

GRANDMA HAIRE

Because I was the youngest member of my family, I had missed knowing my Grandma and Grandpap Walton.  I did, however, take great joy from knowing and interacting with my Aunt Goldie and Aunt Sylvie.  My Grandpap Haire had also died long before I was born.  So, as you can imagine, my Grandma Haire played a favored role in my life.  I guess I always thought I was special to her since I was her youngest grandchild!  

She was born on January 1, 1889, and died on April 28, 1975 (almost a year before Travis was born).  As I received it, she moved to New Brighton by riverboat, coming up from southern Ohio.  Interestingly, my Aunt Goldie and Uncle Eber lived in/near Pomeroy, Ohio.  We would make an annual trek 'down-the-river' to visit this segment of our family about once a year.  It was an adventure for me because Uncle Eber was a dairy farmer which opened up all kinds of new experiences for this city boy.  Because I was the last grandchild, I didn't connect much with my actual cousins.  They seemed more like aunts and uncles to me.  But I did connect with my second-cousins who were my age:  especially William, Sandra and Jeannie.  

There's an old picture that crops up at family reunions.  It shows me and William sitting inside the 'two-holer' behind Aunt Goldie's house.  My cousin Effie whipped the door open and snapped our pictures before we could react.  When the picture circulates, it always does so with the same question:  "Which one's the country-boy and which one's the city-slicker?"  The shot shows William sitting with his pants all pulled up around his knees;  while, of course, I'm sitting there with my pants down around my ankles!  Ha ha ha ha...

For years, I have held a private opinion about Grandma Haire.  I've since mentioned it to a few other family members to discover that they had made the same observation.  Because of her heavy facial features, I often wondered if we have some Native American blood in our family line.  A couple of my aunts show this characteristic as well.  So far, I don't think anyone's been able to verify that curiosity.  

For as long as I knew, she lived with my Aunt Dorothy and Uncle Lester on Marion Hill in New Brighton.  We would go to visit her periodically.  We also saw her almost every Sunday at church.  My parents sat in the third row from the front on the right side.  Grandma, Vera (?) and Nettie Thomas sat on the other end of the pew.   

To be honest, I didn't have a lot of interaction with her.  I look back now with regret that I never sat down and interviewed her about her life.  I know it was not an easy life.  My grandfather was an alcoholic and a stern man.  She was forced to take in other people's laundry to get money to feed her five daughters and one son (my Dad).  

She was not an outspoken woman, although my cousins who grew up with her in the house might disagree!  

I remember several times when she came to stay at our house for a few weeks.  My Dad brought her quilting frames so she could continue her work.  It took up a good bit of the living room and was very exciting for me to play under (as my father had done when he was a boy).  These are pleasant memories for me.  As I reflect back, these visits were probably to give my aunt and uncle a break or a chance to travel.  

My parents also brought Grandma to our house to babysit me from time-to-time.  I don't remember much about these times, but I do remember her sleeping in her chair.  I would say to her, "You can go ahead to bed, Grandma."  She always responded:  "Oh, I was just resting my eyes."  

At Christmas every year I would buy her one of two gifts:  either a box of ribbon candy or a booklet filled with rolls of Life Savers.  She always made a big fuss - no matter what I got her.  

When I was a young man establishing my own family, I decided that the Haire family should have a reunion.  I gathered as many addresses as I could and sent out a letter addressed to the family of Effie Elizabeth Haire.  I got a rash of calls and cards from my aunts (and a few cousins) informing me that her name was NOT Effie Elizabeth, but Effie Leota (Archer) Haire!  

I've noticed a rather strong feminine trait that seems to run in the Haire family line.  My aunts were outspoken, strong-willed, independent/stubborn women.  Sometimes they scared me!  Now, don't mistake that I loved them.  There was Aunt Goldie (I had an Aunt Goldie on both sides), Aunt Peg, Aunt Audrey (who I hardly knew), Aunt Dorothy and Aunt Mildred.  I saw Aunt Dorothy (and her family) a lot because she also attended the New Brighton Free Methodist Church.  They could also be a lot of fun - especially Aunt Mildred!  I think I see a trace of this independence and strong-mindedness in our Tracie and also in my niece, Sandee.  :-)  

Back:  Mildred and Audrey

Front:  Dorothy, Leonard, Peg and Goldie

I remember one Sunday just before I left for college, I slipped in and sat with her on a Sunday morning.  I hugged her and told her how proud I was to be her grandson!  

When she died, my father, brother and I were driving to the funeral home a good bit early.  As we drove, my father - who was also a man of few words - said to Ira and me:  "Your Grandma was a good woman.  She was a good, Christian woman."  He seemed to need us to know what we already knew.  

When it was time to divide up Grandma's things, there really wasn't much left to divide.  As I recall, most of my cousins were given a handkerchief or doily.  Because I was preparing for the ministry, I was given a small, wooden communion cup holder that she had ordered from Rex Humbard Ministries.  Apparently, there were times when she had gone a long period without communion, so she had ordered this cup-holder that was made from wood from Israel.  When Rex offered communion over the television, Grandma prepared her own elements and took communion with him.  I value that small Haireloom to this day!  

 

The day of her funeral was a meaningful time for me.  I was a young man who was just starting his family.  At the funeral home, I stood with my Dad and brother a little off to the side of all the activity.  At one point I noticed that Dad, Ira and I were standing exactly the same:  arms crossed and legs apart.  Why do we remember silly things like that?  

I still think of Grandma from time-to-time.  One of the things I am most grateful for is the rich, Christian heritage that was a large part of my foundation.  "Thanks, Grandma, for staying faithful to Jesus even through the tough times you faced.  Someday, I look forward to some long talks so I can learn a lot more from you and about you!"  

HOW ARE YOU DOING SPIRITUALLY?

I’d like to talk a little about my retirement.  For over forty-two years, I led Free Methodist churches.  Leading a church is a weighty responsibility.  I entered the ministry as a young zealot who had high passion, creative dreams and little experience.  I quickly ran into adversity and discovered that it would be my constant companion. 

One of the things I did right was to develop disciplines that would help me stay connected to God.  Early on, I decided that it would be a good idea for me to read through the Bible every year.  I also knew that prayer was important and have tried through the years to maintain a vital prayer life with God.  I also decided to try my best to read a book every week.  That helped to keep me growing and gave me an ever-expanding pool of wisdom to draw on when writing messages. 

A final discipline I’ll mention was that of journaling.  I have a number of log books and journals that record my ups and downs through these years.  It was a good way for me to take my own temperature and monitor my spiritual and emotional health.  Reading back through those journals is not a fun exercise;  my level of honesty shocks even me at times.

But, at the end of May that all came to an end.  I no longer had responsibility for a congregation.  I suddenly faced days with no agenda, no meeting, no messages to prepare and no calls to make. Although I had read numerous books to help prepare me for this transition, I still felt like a nomad dropped into the middle of a desert.

 

For a while, I continued my disciplines of prayer and Bible reading.  But gradually, they became infrequent and then nearly non-existent.  Through the summer and fall, my preoccupation was with the many jobs that needed done around our new home in Enon Valley.  I had a yard to put in, a garage to finish, and a lot of landscaping to care for.  My day began with the news and some breakfast and then I went out to work until the sun went down.  I came in, cleaned up, ate supper, and read or watched TV until an early bedtime. 

It was as though the ministry aspect of my life came to an end.  I must admit that it was nice to be free of the burdens that had weighed me down for so long. 

I found myself relishing the privacy of my new life.  I began to shun opportunities to be with other people.  Sundays lost their joy for me.  I began to feel stress when we went to church.  I arranged to arrive exactly on time and leave immediately when the service ended.  I’ve been increasingly isolating myself since Travis' death, and retirement seems to have exacerbated that tendency. 

• When these kind of things happen, what does it take to awaken you to the realities of your situation?  
• How does one wake up?  
• Is there anybody in your life who calls you to accountability?  
• What systems surround you that might help you to make corrections and get back on track?

I think those are good questions. 

For me, my accountability systems – weak though they were – were tied to my role as a pastor.  When I retired, they evaporated.  I began to walk a gradual decline that was leading not to moral depravity, but to ineffectiveness and unfruitfulness.  I was no longer making a difference in my world.  I had reasonably isolated myself and severely limited my sphere of influence. 

I’d say that was a gigantic win for the enemy of my soul. 

Consider Psalm 139 from The Message. 

A David Psalm

139 ^1-6 God, investigate my life;
    get all the facts firsthand.
I’m an open book to you;
    even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
    I’m never out of your sight.
You know everything I’m going to say
    before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you’re there,
    then up ahead and you’re there, too—
    your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
    I can’t take it all in!

^7-12 Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
    to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you’re there!
    If I go underground, you’re there!
If I flew on morning’s wings
    to the far western horizon,
You’d find me in a minute—
    you’re already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
    At night I’m immersed in the light!”
It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you;
    night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.

^13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
    you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
    Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
    I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
    you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
    how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
    all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
    before I’d even lived one day.

^17-22 Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful!
    God, I’ll never comprehend them!
I couldn’t even begin to count them—
    any more than I could count the sand of the sea.
Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you!
    And please, God, do away with wickedness for good!
And you murderers—out of here!—
    all the men and women who belittle you, God,
    infatuated with cheap god-imitations.
See how I hate those who hate you, God,
    see how I loathe all this godless arrogance;
I hate it with pure, unadulterated hatred.
    Your enemies are my enemies!

^23-24 Investigate my life, O God,
    find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
    get a clear picture of what I’m about;
See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong—
    then guide me on the road to eternal life.

In this wonderful psalm, David acknowledges the sovereignty of God in a personal way:

·     God’s knowledge of us is complete!

·     God’s presence is inescapable!

·     God created us marvelously and uniquely!

·     God’s thoughts toward us are relentless!

·     God’s enemies are my enemies!

But before he ends his psalm, David adds a significant postscript.  In more familiar words: 

Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
 See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.

David apparently had a sense of false dependency.  He knew how good he was at posing.  At the deepest part of his core, he knew that he needed to open himself to the penetrating view of an all-knowing, all-powerful, omni-present and passionately loving God! 

It must have been said with a good measure of fear and humiliation.  Can you even begin to imagine inviting God to look deeply into your heart and thoughts?  C’mon, we’re all hiding things within that if brought to light would make us look as miserable and defeated as Larry Nassar. 

What really matters is that we’ve fallen short of our own expectations for ourselves – let alone God’s desires for us. 

When I was serving at the New Middletown FMC, I invited my staff members in at least once per year for evaluation discussions.  I tried to challenge each of them to improve and grow.  I modeled a godly life before them and encouraged them to do the same for all the people who worked with them in their departments. 

For my own health, I submitted to my conference superintendent and participated in a small group of pastors who met for accountability, support and training once-a-month. 

But all of these tended to be geared toward performance and growth.  Most of us have few (if any) interventions that are directly related to our spiritual condition. 

I recently wrote a blog article and mentioned a man who, on a few occasions, sought me out when I was a student on the campus of Roberts Wesleyan College and asked me how I was doing spiritually.  I added the comment that no one has asked me that question in years. 

Now, a friend quickly responded on Facebook by asking me how I was doing spiritually.  Of course, it was done in humor.  But in reality, I need someone to ask me this question from time-to-time;  and if you’re honest, so do you.  Not on Facebook, of course, but in a quiet, intimate, genuine setting. 

Listen, the hymn writer captured the essence of our problem when he described us as “Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love.”  I don’t know about you, but that’s where I live. I don’t like it;  as a matter of fact, I hate it! 

Years ago I heard Chuck Swindoll talk about being a living sacrifice as described in Romans 12:1,

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy,

to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing

to God – this is your spiritual act of worship.”

Swindoll went on to point out that the problem with a living sacrifice is that it keeps climbing down off the altar!

I propose to you this morning that in order to maintain a high level of consistency and commitment, we need

1.  A frequently renewed commitment to God,

2.  One that is characterized by measurable practices,

3.  And a systematic plan for evaluation executed through submission to a band of brothers (sisters) who love us and have high expectations for us! 

FIRST:

A frequently renewed commitment to God.  What better than engaged involvement in weekly worship?  Not just attendance!  The fact that you put your body in the seat every Sunday doesn’t tell us anything about your relationship to God.  A book was written years ago with the title:  Worship Is A Verb!  My take-away from Sunday worship will be in direct relationship to:

How (or if) I prepared for worship

How I connect with others before, during and after worship

How focused I stay on hearing from God throughout worship

How I respond to God in my heart, soul and spirit.

SECOND,

My measurable practices will be easily evaluated by myself and my band of brothers/sisters.

•       Am I eating His Word daily?  Let’s not get hung up on this.  I’m not talking about consuming chapters or checking boxes.  Use something as simple as “Our Daily Bread”, “The Upper Room” or some website.  Maybe you could listen to CD’s of the Bible on your way to work every morning?  Just find some way of getting a bit of God’s Word into your life daily!

•       Do I have an open and ongoing dialogue with God?  Is the channel open?  Am I talking to Him and listening for Him?  Be creative!  This could be during your daily commute or as you exercise.  It could be in the shower or in a prayer closet.  Don’t laugh.  I recently invited a nephew over to go through my boxes of books.  As we talked, he told me that he has established a prayer closet.   I’m deeply impressed with his commitment to be a godly man, husband, father and worker!

THIRD,

Do I have a band of brothers (sisters)?  Have I given them the right to ask me the hard questions?  Are we committed to hold each other accountable to such a level that we’ll show up at one another’s door if we miss a meeting without notice? I need this, don’t you?  I need someone with flesh on who will pursue me and grill me and stay with me until the work is done!  If you don’t have this – and that’s going to be the case for the majority of us – how can I get one?

Talk to your leadership for guidance about this. 

Take initiative and invite some men (women) to meet and talk about this.

Talk to someone you admire and respect and tell them you’d support them if they started up a group. 

We need interventions!  We need correction.  We need forgiveness.  We need assurance. 

You’ve been given a pretty clear road-map of how to establish your path in a way that will provide these things.  You’re the only one who can make it work! 

By the way, how are you doing spiritually?