A FATHERS INFLUENCE PARTICULARLY ON SONS

A quick review of Israel’s development:

o   Slaves in Egypt

o   Delivered by Moses

o   Conquered Canaan with Joshua

o   Ruled by judges for at least 200 years

o   Period of the kings: Saul, David, Solomon

o   The kingdom divided into Israel (north) and Judah (south)

Faithful to God’s prediction, Solomon’s son, Rehoboam, became the king of Israel; however, eleven tribes rejected him and walked away.  They chose Jeroboam to be their king and Rehoboam continued to rule over just the tribe of Judah.

When reading through this period there is a troubling, recurring phrase. The following is in regards to Abijah, the son of Rehoboam.

“He continued to sin just like his father before him.”  [I Kings 15:3]

Now, Abijah had free will! His father had died and he became king. But, his father’s influence had been so strong – so influential – that Abijah simply followed in his father’s footsteps!  Unfortunately, Jeroboam’s example was a bad one!

The above verse end by lamenting:

“He [Rehoboam] was not true-hearted to GOD as his great grandfather David had been.”

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You may have seen pictures or scenes of a little boy trying to keep pace with his father’s footsteps or clomping about in his father’s shoes.

If a father is available, there is a natural alignment with the son because of the shared sexual identity.  Typically, this will continue into the young teen years.

I’ve spoken many times of the phenomenon that often takes place around puberty when a child begins to turn to the opposite-sex parent [if available].  I’ve assumed this to be a God-designed transition with the purpose of allowing the opposite-sex parent the opportunity to guide the child through the process of understanding and relating to the opposite sex.

If this is an accurate portrayal, then one can only imagine the impact that can result from having a father who:

§  Is largely absent [or simply not there due to divorce, death or other reasons]

§  Tends to think that parenting is part of the mother’s role

§  Is hyper-focused on career, hobbies and personal pursuits

§  Is angry, disconnected, distant and distracted

Much of the disfunction we see in American culture could very well be linked or explained by these realities.

God intended for children to be raised in a home with a mother and a father. Their roles are variant but essential! Their dual-engagement with children is vital!

We must remember that the image of God is reflected in both the male and the female:

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” 

[Genesis 1:26-28  NASB]

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The example the father sets for his children is powerful and formative! If this role is magnified it can be massively influential. However, if it is ignored or abused, it can be gravely impactful in negative ways.

Counselors can help to rectify some of the damage done by an absent or distracted father, but the haunting longing for what should-have-been will travel with those children throughout their lives. Only God – the Heavenly Father – can bring total healing to those wounded hearts!

Heavenly Father:

We value the intimacy You imply by making Yourself known to us through this familiar term!

You created us!

You offer us redemption!

You love us persistently!

You give us gifts!

You know the number of the hairs on our heads.

You long for us to follow and honor You!

Bless and challenge the men who read this blog!

Help us to step up to the challenge of being godly men!

Lead us.

Guide us.

Use us.

Grow us into Your image!

 

Enable us to be difference-makers in our home and culture!

For Your Kingdom’s sake.

Amen!

COMPROMISE

Before King David died, he made certain that Solomon was appointed as king in his place!

Solomon, at that point, was fully dedicated to the Lord God! He fulfilled the wishes of his father, David, and established his kingdom with the full acceptance of the people of Judah [southern kingdom, 2 tribes] and Israel [northern kingdom, 10 tribes – eventually known as Samaria].

Early in his rule, God gave him a dream in which He said: “What can I give you? Ask.”

Solomon’s response to God in this dream was beautiful:  I Kings 3:6-9 TM 

[All scripture quotes from The Message Bible unless otherwise noted]

“You were extravagantly generous in love with David my father, and he lived faithfully in your presence, his relationships were just and his heart right. And you have persisted in this great and generous love by giving him—and this very day!—a son to sit on his throne.

 

“And now here I am: God, my God, you have made me, your servant, ruler of the kingdom in place of David my father. I’m too young for this, a mere child! I don’t know the ropes, hardly know the ‘ins’ and ‘outs’ of this job. And here I am, set down in the middle of the people you’ve chosen, a great people—far too many to ever count.

 

“Here’s what I want: Give me a God-listening heart so I can lead your people well, discerning the difference between good and evil. For who on their own is capable of leading your glorious people?”

God’s response was one of great pleasure:  [vs.10-14]

God, the Master, was delighted with Solomon’s response. And God said to him,

 

“Because you have asked for this and haven’t grasped after a long life, or riches, or the doom of your enemies, but you have asked for the ability to lead and govern well, I’ll give you what you’ve asked for—I’m giving you a wise and mature heart. There’s never been one like you before; and there’ll be no one after. As a bonus, I’m giving you both the wealth and glory you didn’t ask for—there’s not a king anywhere who will come up to your mark. And if you stay on course, keeping your eye on the life-map and the God-signs as your father David did, I’ll also give you a long life.”

 At the end of chapter four, Solomon’s wisdom is described in remarkable terms:  [vs.10-14]

God gave Solomon wisdom—the deepest of understanding and the largest of hearts. There was nothing beyond him, nothing he couldn’t handle. Solomon’s wisdom outclassed the vaunted wisdom of wise men of the East, outshone the famous wisdom of Egypt. He was wiser than anyone—wiser than Ethan the Ezrahite, wiser than Heman, wiser than Calcol and Darda the sons of Mahol. He became famous among all the surrounding nations. He created 3,000 proverbs; his songs added up to 1,005. He knew all about plants, from the huge cedar that grows in Lebanon to the tiny hyssop that grows in the cracks of a wall. He understood everything about animals and birds, reptiles and fish. Sent by kings from all over the earth who had heard of his reputation, people came from far and near to listen to the wisdom of Solomon.

All of this causes us to be quite impressed with this young leader!  But as I was reading through these passages this morning I noticed a verse that indicates a chink in Solomon’s character. 

Solomon loved God and continued to live in the God-honoring ways of David his father, except that he also worshiped at the local shrines, offering sacrifices and burning incense.  [3:3]

It’s a minor observation – hardly worth mentioning, right?

It may be an indication that Solomon was a people-pleaser. He didn’t want to offend any of the groups who believed in these shrines; so he participated in their worship, even to the extent of offering sacrifices and burning incense.

We’re immediately reminded of the first two commandments:  [Deuteronomy 5:7-9]

No other gods, only me.

 

No carved gods of any size, shape, or form of anything whatever, whether of things that fly or walk or swim. Don’t bow down to them and don’t serve them because I am God, your God, and I’m a most jealous God.

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King Solomon began building the Temple in the fourth year of his reign and completed it in his eleventh year.  At that point, the [unknown] author of Kings made an astute observation about Solomon:  [I Kings 11:1-8]

King Solomon was obsessed with women. Pharaoh’s daughter was only the first of the many foreign women he loved—Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite. He took them from the surrounding pagan nations of which God had clearly warned Israel,

 

“You must not marry them; they’ll seduce you into infatuations with their gods.” Solomon fell in love with them anyway, refusing to give them up. He had seven hundred royal wives and three hundred concubines—a thousand women in all! And they did seduce him away from God. As Solomon grew older, his wives beguiled him with their alien gods and he became unfaithful—he didn’t stay true to his God as his father David had done. Solomon took up with Ashtoreth, the whore goddess of the Sidonians, and Molech, the horrible god of the Ammonites.

 

Solomon openly defied God; he did not follow in his father David’s footsteps. He went on to build a sacred shrine to Chemosh, the horrible god of Moab, and to Molech, the horrible god of the Ammonites, on a hill just east of Jerusalem. He built similar shrines for all his foreign wives, who then polluted the countryside with the smoke and stench of their sacrifices.

 

Obviously, God saw all that Solomon had done and reacted:  [I Kings 11:9-13]

God was furious with Solomon for abandoning the God of Israel, the God who had twice appeared to him and had so clearly commanded him not to fool around with other gods. Solomon faithlessly disobeyed God’s orders.

 

God said to Solomon, “Since this is the way it is with you, that you have no intention of keeping faith with me and doing what I have commanded, I’m going to rip the kingdom from you and hand it over to someone else. But out of respect for your father David I won’t do it in your lifetime. It’s your son who will pay—I’ll rip it right out of his grasp. Even then I won’t take it all; I’ll leave him one tribe in honor of my servant David and out of respect for my chosen city Jerusalem.”

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COMPROMISE IS OUR ENEMY!

In the very beginning, Solomon harbored a small space for compromise. It grew and multiplied until it replaced his deep devotion to God!

We’re all susceptible to this kind of undermining! We weaken the foundations of our love for God and devotion to His ways by holding on to certain practices or beliefs. At first, they don’t seem so bad. It may be ‘just our little secret’.  But, over time, they grow and begin to take on greater power and influence in our lives.

The end result can be tragic – THE LOSS OF OUR FAITH AND THE DISCREDITING OF OUR WITNESS!

Compromise has no place in a Christian’s life! Our dedication to God and His ways must be absolute! God will only accept first place in our lives! He must be on the throne!

If compromise has been part of your life, you are not deceiving God! He knows!

We must confess these secret desires or practices and terminate them!

We must daily declare our loyalty to God by devoting ourselves fully to His ways! 

Perhaps without realizing it, this wise man – Solomon – passed on devastating circumstances to his heirs.  The degeneration of his faith precipitated the utter failure and godlessness of the next generation! We must be diligent to pass on faithfulness, integrity and devotion to our follow-up generations!  Their destiny depends on our consistency!

AN ASSIGNMENT FROM GOD: PARENTING

Deb and I were married in August, 1973. After our honeymoon, we packed a U-Haul truck and moved to Wilmore, Kentucky, where I would attend Asbury Theological Seminary for the next three years.

One of my first classes was on preaching, and Professor Robertson was an elderly Scottish man with a very traditional view of preaching. He assigned me a text for writing my first sermon: I Samuel 3:13. His note to me quoted this verse from the King James Version!

Allow me to give you some background on this text:

 

Eli was the high priest in Israel at this time. His sons – Hophni and Phinehas – were evil priests who demanded the best cuts of meat for themselves when the people brought their sacrifices to the Temple. In addition to ripping off the people, they were sleeping with the women who helped out at the sanctuary!

 

To his credit, Eli did reprimand them for these evil actions, but they simply ignored him and kept doing evil!

 

Eventually God had to do something to protect His people, so He set a plan in motion that would cause Eli and both of his sons to die on the same day.

 

[All of this is such an interesting story – involving God using a young boy to warn Eli of the impending events. It’s in the first three chapters of I Samuel – if you’re interested!]

As God’s warning was getting close to happening, God announced His judgment on Eli with my assigned text:

For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.

[KJV]

Dr. Robertson had hemmed me in! There was only one direction for me to go with this message: PARENTING!

What he expected to hear from me was clear:

God puts parents in place to control, guide, correct, and discipline their children!  If they fail to do so, there will be consequences for them and for their kids!

Being simply a novice seminary student, I had no congregation yet. I fulfilled the assignment and wrote the sermon – but never preached it. However, as I matured in ministry, I touched on the topic of parenting MANY TIMES because it was so important to God!  Important enough that the fifth commandment emphasizes it: “Respect your father and mother – GOD, your God, commands it! You’ll have a long life; the land that God is giving you will treat you well.”

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I’m currently getting reacquainted with my grown son, Troy! He had foot surgery at the first of the year and I get to drive him to and from work four days every week! That’s an hour a day for us to just talk and enjoy one another! How cool is that?

You see, I’m still a dad! I now have the benefit of guiding my son [and daughter] and being guided by my son and his sister! It’s the best of both worlds! And each of them have spoken words to me that I needed to hear! Plus, they’ve emerged as key participants on my prayer team! After Debbie, they’re the first ones I turn to for prayer! Next in line are Rylie and Coltin; take my word for it – God seems to give special attention to the prayers of children and youth!  😉

AFFIRMING AND CORRECTING

The parenting role involves us…

Let’s take a little break here before we continue.

 

Some quick research reveals that:

 

“In raw numbers, there are 23.1 million American homes with nuclear families (married couples with children) out of 130 million households.”

 

[https://dailycitizen.focusonthefamily.com/just-18-of-american-households-are-families-with-married-parents/]

 

Maybe you should read that again? 

 

It’s kind of shocking!

 

The parenting role no longer seems to involve “us” in our culture!

 

As a consequence, God’s original plan of having a mother AND father in the home to collaborate on raising the children with the masculine AND feminine perspective having vital influence – seems to be in serious trouble in our culture!

 

Has anyone concluded that this may be at least part of the reason for the cultural collapse that we witness daily on our news reports?

As I was saying: The parenting role involves us in a God-given assignment of caring for our children and guiding them through the maturation process.

I’ll remind you of two outstanding observations:

1.   Psychologists advise that a child’s personality is fully developed by approximately the age of seven! 

Hmmm…what does that tell us about those first seven years and the power of parental investment?

2.   The human brain is not fully developed until around the age of 26.

To me, these facts SCREAM of the need for parental involvement!

It’s challenging! It’s demanding!  It calls for sacrifice!  It can be exhausting!  Yes – to all of these! But our kids are DEPENDENT on us to help them find their way to maturity and responsibility!

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We must find our way through this complex and difficult maze of responsibility!

In the best case scenario, it takes a male and female team so that each of our kids – whether male or female – have an advocate of understanding!

I’ve observed before that our variant roles tend to switch in the middle of the process!

Our kids tend to identify most with their same-sex parent during the early years of development. However, somewhere around puberty they gravitate toward their opposite-sex parent.

I’m convinced that this is the plan of God! 

For the first ten years [or so] little boys identify most strongly with their dads – if they’re available! They learn by watching and imitating! We’ve all seen this!

Likewise, for the first tens years [or so] little girls identify most strongly with their moms – if they’re available! They also learn by watching and imitating!

THEN, HOWEVER, A SWITCH TAKES PLACE!

Gradually [and sometimes suddenly] they switch their alliance to the opposite-sex parent – if they’re available.

I believe this also is part of God’s plan! 

Dads and moms – when present – then have the ability to guide and instruct their opposite-sex children in the confusing and overwhelming role of relating to the opposite sex! 

Isn’t this GREAT?  God has placed a dad [when available] in the lives of his daughters to help them to learn about males: how they think, why they do the things they do, how they tend to communicate, how they tend to relate to females, and so on….  This daughter has – right in her home [hopefully] – what I call “A Spy from the other side”! She can learn vital information from her dad about how males think, react, act, communicate, etc., etc.

And, of course, the same is true for growing boys! They also [hopefully] have “A Spy from the other side” in their mom! If they’re willing to turn to her, she can teach them about the way females respond, communicate, grow, interact, etc., etc.

It’s a GENIOUS PLAN – instituted by God!  This was all devised at the very beginning and has been functioning reasonably well ever since!

A WORD OF GRACE

I’m fully aware that many are raising their family as a one-parent family. I also recognize that this is not always by choice. Many women and some men are bringing up their children alone.

God’s grace is available to these dedicated people – if they call on Him! Although it may not be in accord with His original plan, He is a ready resource for anyone who sincerely calls on His name!

We’re reminded by the song sung for many years: “Jesus loves the little children; all the children of the world: red and yellow, black and white – they’re all precious in His sight! Jesus loves the little children of the world!”

His protection and guidance is open to all who genuinely seek Him! 

Don’t think for a moment that you disappear from His view because your family doesn’t line up with His original plan! He is as much available to you as to anyone!  Call on Him today!

MOSES’ FINAL TASK

If you read the Old Testament book of Deuteronomy in a ‘user-friendly’ version such as The Message Bible, you will see that we’re essentially reading from Moses’ journal!

To follow my thinking here, you may need a refresher:

·        Moses and the children of Israel [Jacob] travel across the wilderness and arrive at the outskirts of Canaan – on the eastern shore of the Jordan River.

·        At the people’s suggestion, Moses sends twelve spies into Canaan to bring back a report.

·        Upon their return, ten spies indicate that it will be impossible for them to conquer this land and people!

·        Two spies – Joshua and Caleb – simply make a faith statement: God will give it to us, just don’t rebel against God! And don’t be afraid of those people. Why, we’ll have them for lunch! They have no protection and GOD is on our side. [Numbers 14:8-9 – All quotes from The Message unless otherwise noted]

·        The people immediately begin to complain and ask why Moses brought them to this place to be destroyed.

·        God’s anger broke out and sentenced the entire generation to die in the wilderness without entering the Promised Land!

·        The people repent and try to go to war against Canaan on their own strength. They are easily defeated.

·        Moses leads them back into the wilderness to wander for nearly forty years until that entire generation [under the age of 20] dies out! Only Joshua and Caleb will ever see the Promised Land.

Okay, if you’re still with me, then you realize that Moses has a final task of teaching a whole new generation of Israelites the history of:

Ø their deliverance from Egypt

Ø God’s faithfulness in providing for their needs

Ø God’s protection against foreign enemies

Ø God’s Word delivered from Mt. Sinai

Ø The repeated grumbling and complaining of their parents” generation

It was an in surmountable task! So much to cover! Moses had to be convincing since this younger generation had no [or very little] memory of actually experiencing God’s power and manifestations!

If you read these early chapters, you will see Moses’ determination to bring a whole new generation up-to-speed regarding their history and DESTINY!

Their parents had been unfaithful and unbelieving! Their parents did NOT leave them a legacy of faith! This new generation had to face the future with a major deficit of faith and trust in God!  Moses stood in the gap and made a valiant effort to infuse them with faith by telling them the history of God’s faithfulness!

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We are living in a day that reflects strongly the same dilemma. Since the 1960’s, the Church has been undermined by a radically changing culture!

I’m old enough to remember a time when the local ministerial group had major influence. In my hometown – New Brighton, PA – if the clergy spoke out about an issue, it carried a GREAT DEAL OF WEIGHT!

During the 1960's some teachers either allowed us to observe a "moment of silence" or read a verse of scripture. We began every day by standing and reciting the Pledge of Allegiance to the United States!

This was a period when the Church owned Sundays and Wednesday evenings! Schools and sporting groups didn’t DARE to infringe on those two time-frames! Gradually, however, they whittled away at Wednesdays by scheduling occasional games. Then, of course, they became regular! And guess what? The parents didn’t squawk! They – perhaps reluctantly – conceded! And Wednesday nights were lost as a stronghold of Christian education!

Then the teams and organizations set their sights on Sundays!  Games and practices were scheduled that competed with Sunday School and Morning Worship! And guess what? Parents didn’t draw a line by saying: “My kids will NOT be there on Sunday mornings!” So – Sundays were lost to the power of a godless culture!

Is it any wonder that churches have lost their influence?

Is it any wonder that the Church – in America – is in SERIOUS DECLINE?

Is it any wonder that sexual confusion gains favor in our culture?

Is it any wonder that violence is beyond belief?

Is it any wonder that schools are no longer safe-havens?

Although prayer in schools was banned in 1962, someone has smilingly stated that as long as they give tests in school – there’ll be prayer in school!  😄

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More than at any time in our American history, the responsibility for extending the Christian faith into the future is on parents!

It has ALWAYS been our responsibility! Remember Deuteronomy 6:5-9,

 Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that’s in you, love him with all you’ve got!

 

Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates.

The pathway to rectifying the diminishing of our faith in America is actually quite simple. We – as parents – must speak to our children about our faith! We must – like Moses – try our best to make it real to them! We must encourage them to develop a strong faith and trust in God! Regardless of their age!

If you dropped the ball in earlier years or were distracted by work, goals and other diversions – MAKE UP FOR IT NOW! If you have a legacy of faith – PASS IT ON!

I am the self-appointed ‘story-teller’ in the Haire family! I take every advantage of telling stories to my kids and grandkids! I want them to know that they have a history of faith! In the case of our children, both the Whippos and the Haires raised their families in the faith! What a blessing for our kids! The same is true of our grandchildren. Both the Kerstetters and the Haires raised their families in the faith!

This is an established legacy! We must make every effort to see that it continues strong and committed into the future! 

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FOREVER FORGIVING GOD: Father, Son and Holy Spirit,

 Those of us who were raised in-the-faith are grateful!

We thank You for being the Lord of our homes and our lives!

 

Thank You for faithful parents who raised us to love and honor You!

Thank You for the churches that joined them in teaching and maturing us in our faith!

Thank You for role models that cared about us and encouraged us!

Thank You for spiritual mentors who guided, corrected and encouraged us!

 

Give us courage to speak openly about our faith in any setting!

Give us a renewed determination to challenge our own children – regardless of their age – to stand strong in the faith and preserve this legacy of faithfulness to You and Your Word!

 

Help us to be a force that counters a misguided culture!

Help us to be an anchor that refuses to yield to the migrating of faith that is common today!

Help us to maintain a daily walk with You that transforms us and keeps us heading toward Heaven and its eternal joys!

 

AMEN!

THE PENDULUM THEORY REGARDING PARENTING

Most are aware of the pendulum theory.

In 1656 the Dutch scientist Christiaan Huygens built the first pendulum clock. This was a great improvement over existing mechanical clocks; their best accuracy was improved from around 15 minutes deviation a day to around 15 seconds a day. Pendulums spread over Europe as existing clocks were retrofitted with them.  [Wikipedia]

The pendulum is most commonly seen in old ‘Grandfather Clocks’.  The pendulum swings consistently back-and-forth, counting off the seconds.

This image has been borrowed to visualize the extreme swing of change that often occurs in other observable areas.  Today, we’ll apply it to parenting.

Most of these observations within parenting styles are actually quite obvious. 

·         If a person is raised in a very strict environment, then they may have a tendency to raise their own children in a more libertarian one. 

·         If a child is raised in an extreme religious environment, they may deliberately raise their own kids in a freer, less religious one. 

·         If a child is brought up in the midst of poverty, they may become a workaholic devoted to establishing a home that is more capable of providing for any children that might come along. 

We could add to this list ad infinitum.

It must be noted – in addition – that these tendencies are almost always absent of conscious intent or planning.  A person is not aware of this radical change that they’ve adopted in their parenting style.  They are simply responding to the impact their own upbringing had on them and subconsciously trying to create change for their own children. 

It is at least possible that these unconscious yet intended improvements may actually also have a negative impact on their children. 

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If you think about it, there is no attempt in our culture [or likely others] to train couples for the parenting task.  We step into this role with nothing but our own experience and observations – added, of course to the resident wisdom of our spouse.  Plus, it’s a rare couple that sits down to talk or plan how they intend to raise their family. 

As a pastor, I required couples to sit down with me for ten hours to discuss areas that I knew were vital to the health and survival of their marriage.  Most cooperated willingly and found it to be a rewarding experience.  Some just put in the time to meet my requirement.  Some of the areas we discussed were:

o   Do you intend to have children?

o   If so, when do you plan to start this process?

o   How many children do you hope to have?

o   How will you share responsibility when children come along?

o   If you find – down the road – that for some reason you can’t have children, would you consider adoption?

After that we might explore how each was raised and how they can incorporate those different family styles into their own unique plan.  Remember: A marriage is a merging of two distinct family systems!  

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Swinging the pendulum is not necessarily wrong; however, it is best to do it with some knowledge and understanding. 

Wise parents [and parents to be] will:

Ø  Have a discussion about how they were raised and how it might impact their children.

Ø  Talk [hopefully ahead of time] about how roles will be changed and how responsibilities will need to be adapted.

Ø  Set goals for their parenting.

When Debbie and I were dating [back in the 1960’s], we made two primary observations:

1.    We noticed a lot of siblings who seemed to hate each other.  This was characterized by fighting, hateful words and vindictive behavior.

We talked and prayed about it together.  We decided that we wanted any children we had to love each other and treat each other respectfully.  Creating that kind of an environment became primary for us. 

     2.    We noticed that a lot of ‘preacher’s kids’ (PK's) [from our age-group] turned away from Christ after leaving their home!

This became an alarming concern to us since we knew that I was heading into pastoral ministry.  We spent a lot of time talking about how we could raise our kids without having them become bitter against the church.

 We set some guidelines in place that included not talking about church problems in front of the kids.  We also made sure that our comments - made in front of our kids - about church people were positive and affirming. 

 We determined to protect our kids from the effects that evil words and actions had on us. 

     Ø  Pray together about their parenting and pray over and with their kids regularly until they leave home!  This is vitally important for both husband and wife!

Ø  Be involved in a church with an effective children’s and youth ministry. 

There were times that I – unfortunately – had to advise parents to find another church that was doing a better job with youth.  A youth director/pastor can be a dynamic influencer on our adolescents! 

Also, keep in mind that as young teens, our children will be on the look-out for role models!  We prefer that they choose godly examples.  That is more likely to happen if we are actively involved in the life of a vibrant church. 

[AGAIN – If this means changing churches for a season, don’t hesitate to do so.  The life and spiritual health of your children calls for it.  Keep in mind that most American churches are plateaued or in decline.  Find a growing church and become part of it for your children’s sake!]

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KING OF THE UNIVERSE: Father, Son and Holy Spirit,

Rush to the sides of those who are still actively parenting young, developing children!

Grant them wisdom as they fulfill the challenging responsibility of raising kids in the 21^st century!

Glue husbands and wives of these precious children together with Your Holy Spirit!

Help fathers to raise godly sons of courage and balance to eventually assume a responsible role in adulthood!

Help these same fathers to be an example of godly manhood to their daughters.  Remind them that they are the ‘guide-from-the-other-side’ to help their daughters better understand the male gender!

 

Help mothers as they enfold and comfort their children through the various stages of growth!  May their arms always be open and their words always lovingly instructive! 

Bless these moms as they raise godly sons!  Even when they don’t always understand what their boys are doing and why, enable them to be persistent and persuasive in guiding them.

Also, help these moms as they influence their daughters!  Give them the courage to gradually release these precious lives to experiment and grow.

 

Be the LORD of these couples and the honored Guest in each of their homes!

Love them – ALL OF THEM – into Your eternal Kingdom!

AMEN!  AMEN!