SHAKING HANDS

I'm not a politician, but as a pastor I've shaken hands with lots of people over forty+ years in the ministry!  It's an automatic response in our American culture upon meeting or greeting people.  We begin this ritual when we're young and then continue it throughout our lives.  

Other customs exist in different cultures.  The French exchange a light kiss on each cheek.  Some Africans say: "I see you." with the response, "I see you, too!"  That may be the wisest since no bacteria is exchanged! 

Being a guy, I tend to prefer a masculine handshake: firm grip and a prolonged grasp that almost seems to say, "Who can squeeze the hardest."  It's kind of a 'thump your chest' exercise that we both walk away from feeling good.

I always made it a point to visit my siblings at least once a year.  For many years, my brother, Ira, lived in northcentral Pennsylvania.  It was farm country and particularly dairy farms.  When I would attend church with him, I met men who had been dairy farmers all their lives.  As much as I loved a firm handshake, some of these guys about brought me to my knees just by the power of their grip!  😆

Of course the hand shake is usually accompanied with words and eye contact.  If the words and/or eye contact are missing, what is the purpose of this activity.  Typically the words are:

• "Good morning"
• "Hello"
• "Long time - no see!"
• "How are you?"  [We don't really want to know, it's just a greeting.]
• For a while there younger people said:  "What's up?" or Wazzup?"

My late friend, Pastor Charlie Young, always gave the same greeting: "Nice to see ya!".  It never changed.  But when he said it, he sold it with this full-face smile and a noticeable twinkle in his eyes!  Something in me always wanted him to do it again!  When I run into him in Heaven I’ll look forward to getting that smile and greeting again!  😊

But there are some handshakes that are weak and annoying.  I've had people who just seem to give you their hand.  They don't grab yours in the way we might expect; they just give you their hand.  It sort of just hangs in your grip.  There's no squeeze, usually no eye contact and it ends when you get tired of holding their limp hand.   I suppose a counselor could make some guesses about this behavior.  Oh! I'm a counselor!  I think we'll save that discussion for a day when I'm feeling a bit more serious...

I got a reprieve from handshaking from 2012-2015.  We moved to northeast China to teach English for three years.  Handshaking in China is reserved for business meetings and those in the upper levels of the corporate and government worlds.  Instead, I learned to simply say 'ni hao' in exchanging greetings with the Chinese.  According the the Chinese/English Pinyin Dictionary, it means: "Hi", "Hello" or "How are you?"  

On one occasion - while in China - I was shopping with my friend Randy [who had lived in China many years and spoke Chinese quite well].  With my VERY LIMITED Chinese, I negotiated a purchase while he was accompanying me.  As the money was exchanged, I noticed that Randy spoke to the gentlemen.  Suddenly, they all began to laugh.  As we walked away, I asked Randy why the men were laughing.  He explained that he had told them that xia xia [Thank you!] was the only Chinese word I knew.  They seemed to get a kick out of that!  

After a lifetime of shaking hands, however, I may sadly have to begin refusing this cultural tradition.  I remember my father having arthritis in his hands during his later years.  He began his day dipping his hands in hot wax as a treatment.  I escaped the pain of this dreaded affliction for sixty-nine years, however, it has finally arrived and it seems to have packed its bags to stay!  

Like my father, it has settled in my hands - particularly my right hand.  I can no longer make a fist and my writing is almost illegible.  My grip is much weaker than it used to be.  The joints ache pretty much all the time.  

Now, Sunday is a dreaded day for me.  Those firm, 'tight-squeeze' handshakes now cause me excruciating pain.  It's difficult not to wince while this ritual takes place.  That testosterone-laced, extended tight-squeeze handshake that I used to enjoy so much?  Now, it humbles me!  

I'm thinking about getting a 'Sunday-go-to-meeting' shirt that says:  CAN WE SKIP THE HANDSHAKE AND JUST DO A SHOULDER BUMP?

So, if you see me heading for the door rather quickly, don't be offended.  It's a self-protection, pain-prevention escape!