TRAVIS, YOU'RE GOING A LITTLE TOO FAST!

 

Dr. Paul Tournier wrote in A DOCTOR’S CASEBOOK IN THE LIGHT OF THE BIBLE:

“I once had a patient who was the youngest daughter in a large family which the father found it difficult to support.  One day she heard him mutter despairingly, referring to her: ‘We could well have done without that one!’

You can guess the effect that remark had on the young daughter – not wanted by her parents, not wanted in life.”

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Parents need to be constantly reminded of Proverbs 18:21, “The tongue has the power of life and death…”

Phrases like:

•          I wish you’d never been born!
•          Why can’t you be good like your brother (or sister)?
•          You’ll never amount to anything!
•          I’m sorry we ever had you!

These phrases – and many others like them – should never be uttered!  Period!  We must not allow misbehavior, disrespect or failures of any kind to trigger these kinds of words that devalue our children!  Never!  We must not allow ourselves to think these words – let alone say them out loud. 

I remember teaching our son, Travis, to drive many years ago.  I had him drive down to the next town and then turn around to head home.  Along the way, I instructed him to turn onto a road that would wind us up a steep hill.  I cautioned him to think ahead and go slowly, for I knew that a sharp ‘S’ curve lay ahead. 

Although he slowed some, I realized that he would soon be in trouble.  He lost control as we came out of the curve and landed against the guard-rail with me looking down a forty-foot-embankment

 

He sat dazed with his hands still on the steering wheel.

 

These are pregnant moments and we don’t usually have much time to think about our reaction.  We must always be prepared to respond in ways that will NOT mar our child for life!

 

I turned and looked at Travis and said, “Well, what did we learn from that experience?”  Travis looked at me and said with humility: “I was going too fast!” 

 

Neighbors were coming out to gawk at us, so I quickly instructed him to get us moving.  We drove to a shopping center to examine the car.  No serious damage. 

I had other options:

·         “Didn’t you hear me tell you to slow down?”

·         “You’ve been up this road before, Travis!  What were you thinking?”

·         “Well, you’ve wrecked our family car!  How are you going to pay for that?”

I could have belittled him, but what good would that have done?  This was a wonderful son who had never broken our trust!  He made good grades in school and had lots of friends.  In his own way, he was brilliant, but often hid his talents in order to be accepted by others.  He had a wide spectrum of friends and treated them all with respect!

How might it have impacted him if I had told him that he was a loser and couldn’t do anything right?

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We must watch our words!  We are shaping a life (or lives).  Our words weigh heavy in their minds!  Our predictions may carry with them for decades and impact their decisions about career choices and so many other areas of their lives. 

Life and death are in the power of our tongues!  We must keep that in mind with everyone we deal with – but especially with our kids!