AN ASSIGNMENT FROM GOD: PARENTING

Deb and I were married in August, 1973. After our honeymoon, we packed a U-Haul truck and moved to Wilmore, Kentucky, where I would attend Asbury Theological Seminary for the next three years.

One of my first classes was on preaching, and Professor Robertson was an elderly Scottish man with a very traditional view of preaching. He assigned me a text for writing my first sermon: I Samuel 3:13. His note to me quoted this verse from the King James Version!

Allow me to give you some background on this text:

 

Eli was the high priest in Israel at this time. His sons – Hophni and Phinehas – were evil priests who demanded the best cuts of meat for themselves when the people brought their sacrifices to the Temple. In addition to ripping off the people, they were sleeping with the women who helped out at the sanctuary!

 

To his credit, Eli did reprimand them for these evil actions, but they simply ignored him and kept doing evil!

 

Eventually God had to do something to protect His people, so He set a plan in motion that would cause Eli and both of his sons to die on the same day.

 

[All of this is such an interesting story – involving God using a young boy to warn Eli of the impending events. It’s in the first three chapters of I Samuel – if you’re interested!]

As God’s warning was getting close to happening, God announced His judgment on Eli with my assigned text:

For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.

[KJV]

Dr. Robertson had hemmed me in! There was only one direction for me to go with this message: PARENTING!

What he expected to hear from me was clear:

God puts parents in place to control, guide, correct, and discipline their children!  If they fail to do so, there will be consequences for them and for their kids!

Being simply a novice seminary student, I had no congregation yet. I fulfilled the assignment and wrote the sermon – but never preached it. However, as I matured in ministry, I touched on the topic of parenting MANY TIMES because it was so important to God!  Important enough that the fifth commandment emphasizes it: “Respect your father and mother – GOD, your God, commands it! You’ll have a long life; the land that God is giving you will treat you well.”

________________________________

I’m currently getting reacquainted with my grown son, Troy! He had foot surgery at the first of the year and I get to drive him to and from work four days every week! That’s an hour a day for us to just talk and enjoy one another! How cool is that?

You see, I’m still a dad! I now have the benefit of guiding my son [and daughter] and being guided by my son and his sister! It’s the best of both worlds! And each of them have spoken words to me that I needed to hear! Plus, they’ve emerged as key participants on my prayer team! After Debbie, they’re the first ones I turn to for prayer! Next in line are Rylie and Coltin; take my word for it – God seems to give special attention to the prayers of children and youth!  😉

AFFIRMING AND CORRECTING

The parenting role involves us…

Let’s take a little break here before we continue.

 

Some quick research reveals that:

 

“In raw numbers, there are 23.1 million American homes with nuclear families (married couples with children) out of 130 million households.”

 

[https://dailycitizen.focusonthefamily.com/just-18-of-american-households-are-families-with-married-parents/]

 

Maybe you should read that again? 

 

It’s kind of shocking!

 

The parenting role no longer seems to involve “us” in our culture!

 

As a consequence, God’s original plan of having a mother AND father in the home to collaborate on raising the children with the masculine AND feminine perspective having vital influence – seems to be in serious trouble in our culture!

 

Has anyone concluded that this may be at least part of the reason for the cultural collapse that we witness daily on our news reports?

As I was saying: The parenting role involves us in a God-given assignment of caring for our children and guiding them through the maturation process.

I’ll remind you of two outstanding observations:

1.   Psychologists advise that a child’s personality is fully developed by approximately the age of seven! 

Hmmm…what does that tell us about those first seven years and the power of parental investment?

2.   The human brain is not fully developed until around the age of 26.

To me, these facts SCREAM of the need for parental involvement!

It’s challenging! It’s demanding!  It calls for sacrifice!  It can be exhausting!  Yes – to all of these! But our kids are DEPENDENT on us to help them find their way to maturity and responsibility!

____________________________________

We must find our way through this complex and difficult maze of responsibility!

In the best case scenario, it takes a male and female team so that each of our kids – whether male or female – have an advocate of understanding!

I’ve observed before that our variant roles tend to switch in the middle of the process!

Our kids tend to identify most with their same-sex parent during the early years of development. However, somewhere around puberty they gravitate toward their opposite-sex parent.

I’m convinced that this is the plan of God! 

For the first ten years [or so] little boys identify most strongly with their dads – if they’re available! They learn by watching and imitating! We’ve all seen this!

Likewise, for the first tens years [or so] little girls identify most strongly with their moms – if they’re available! They also learn by watching and imitating!

THEN, HOWEVER, A SWITCH TAKES PLACE!

Gradually [and sometimes suddenly] they switch their alliance to the opposite-sex parent – if they’re available.

I believe this also is part of God’s plan! 

Dads and moms – when present – then have the ability to guide and instruct their opposite-sex children in the confusing and overwhelming role of relating to the opposite sex! 

Isn’t this GREAT?  God has placed a dad [when available] in the lives of his daughters to help them to learn about males: how they think, why they do the things they do, how they tend to communicate, how they tend to relate to females, and so on….  This daughter has – right in her home [hopefully] – what I call “A Spy from the other side”! She can learn vital information from her dad about how males think, react, act, communicate, etc., etc.

And, of course, the same is true for growing boys! They also [hopefully] have “A Spy from the other side” in their mom! If they’re willing to turn to her, she can teach them about the way females respond, communicate, grow, interact, etc., etc.

It’s a GENIOUS PLAN – instituted by God!  This was all devised at the very beginning and has been functioning reasonably well ever since!

A WORD OF GRACE

I’m fully aware that many are raising their family as a one-parent family. I also recognize that this is not always by choice. Many women and some men are bringing up their children alone.

God’s grace is available to these dedicated people – if they call on Him! Although it may not be in accord with His original plan, He is a ready resource for anyone who sincerely calls on His name!

We’re reminded by the song sung for many years: “Jesus loves the little children; all the children of the world: red and yellow, black and white – they’re all precious in His sight! Jesus loves the little children of the world!”

His protection and guidance is open to all who genuinely seek Him! 

Don’t think for a moment that you disappear from His view because your family doesn’t line up with His original plan! He is as much available to you as to anyone!  Call on Him today!