I'm currently reading a novel by Angela Hunt. In it the protagonist is a famous author whose young-adult son is dealing with alcoholism. The following dialogue captured my attention:
"Carl and I attend the worship service, but it’s hard to think
about the holiness of God when our souls are stirring with anger, confusion,
and fear. We don’t know if the young man
sleeping at our house is a victim, a criminal, a drug addict, or some
combination of all three.
Even more difficult is greeting our church friends after the
service, all of whom shake our hands or hug our necks after asking, “How are
you?” and receiving, “Fine, and you?” in reply.
I’m wearing an artificial grin like the wax lips we bought
at the dime store when I was a kid. I
smile and hug, shake hands and smile, and all the while I want to spit off that
fake expression and scream that I’m going crazy, hasn’t anyone noticed?
I know it’s my fault.
My tendency toward introversion, combined with my celebrity, has caused
me to hold even our church friends at arm’s length. I’m not used to confiding in people; I’m not sure I want to. But that doesn’t stop me from feeling like a
wounded warrior beneath a veneer only one smile thick. If one person would take the time to look
into my eyes and ask about the pain flickering there, I’d share everything.
But no one does." [from THE NOVELIST, by Angela Hunt,
pp.129-130]
Wouldn't it be great if someone did look into the eyes and respond to the pain?
When I read this passage to Debbie, she immediately said, "I've had lots of Sundays like that!" To be brutally honest, so have I.
Galatians 6:2 says:
"Bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ."
Quite a few year ago, I attended a conference and won a book: CHURCHES THAT HEAL, by Doug Murren. I took it home and devoured it; then typed out the significant quotes. Here are some samples:
“Churches should heal because people need healing!” p.2
“God’s
mandate (is) that His church be a place of safety for the scared, healing for
the hurting, reshaping for the hurtful, and acceptance for the unloved.”
p.xiii
“A
church that heals understands that its mission is to see broken, hurting people
become whole followers of Christ – new creations journeying into the full
discovery of their identity in Him.” p.91
“Environment
matters…a strong ‘high-touch’ environment – that is, one that offers very human
benefits like friendship, encouragement, and a sense of community – enhances
the immune system.” P.40
In Mark 6:1-6, Jesus visited His hometown, Nazareth, and determined that it was not an environment conducive to healing! Wow! Imagine that! How many churches today would receive a similar judgment?
Having established the topic, I'd like to comment on two facets of this issue:
ONE - WE WHO BELONG
We who belong most likely know the ropes. Even though the format of worship may be fairly well-established, we know that people care. We can ask for help from an individual, from the pastor, from a Sunday School class, or even publicly. It takes
great courage to do so - but it can be done.
If you're part of a growing, healthy church, this is why your leaders are always working to initiate or sustain small groups. They know that the best caring will take place in that more suitable and comfortable environment. We care best for each other in intimate settings where confidentiality can be limited and special attention can be lavished!
Many congregations have specially gifted individuals who move among the crowd seeming to look for those who are hiding, hurting, hesitant or rejected. Thank God for these ones who have the eyes, ears and compassion of Jesus! Their ministry before and after services is often more meaningful and effective than what takes place during the services!
Card-senders, callers and email-senders fit modestly into this category as well. They seem to make mental notes during worship times and then do follow-up contacts through the week to encourage, comfort and acknowledge people more personally. This ministry - though less direct - also frequently communicates an accepting and healing component!
There's a ministry of arriving early and staying late for those who might like to have a greater impact. Something as simple as a change in your Sunday schedule could grow a new, fruitful branch in your life!
When I was on staff at the Cornerstone Church, there were certain individuals who told me privately that they came to our church because they received hugs. One woman told me, "I'm a single mom and this is the only place where I am touched by others!" The simple act of caring through an 'appropriate' hug kept her coming!
TWO - THOSE WHO DON'T BELONG OR COME
As a pastor, I was always concerned about new attenders and their comfort level. So many things we do in church are foreign to secular people. They're afraid to enter our houses of worship. One man confessed to me that he first drove through our parking lot on a couple of Sundays. Next he parked, but stayed in his car for a couple of Sundays. Finally, he came in and his life was radically transformed! PTL!!
Non-churched people are intimidated by our worship centers. They have preconceived ideas about what we do; these are often based on what they've learned from television or the movies.
Yet, many churches do little to anything to smooth this transition for guests.
But we can be fairly certain that they have ventured into our space because they have a need or crisis exploding in their families or life!
I challenged leaders to be fully prepared and to lead with excellence. If guests arrive and we start late or do things poorly, what will they think [this is magnified if we use countdowns]? If they're not greeted, how will they feel?
Little things matter. They're unlikely to know the music we sing.
So frequently, Power Point slides are not switched appropriately to allow the congregation to have the words when they need them, The 'regular' people may know the words, but guests will be frustrated! If we serve Communion, they will be perplexed. They will naturally have questions about the things we do during worship; how will they get answers?
Again, at Cornerstone, new attenders were often overcome with tears during worship - especially during the prayer time. When they spoke to leaders about this, we got to explain that what they were experiencing was the presence of God!
Churches that want to make a difference in people's lives will be discussing these things at a leadership level and training ALL of their people to be alert to these concerns!
Wouldn't it be great if church could universally be a place where needs and hurts were recognized, addressed and reconciled?
