DOLORES

Debbie and I have always joked that we had a parental advantage since she is the oldest (she calls it 'first-born') of nine children and I'm the youngest of four.  We figured we had all the bases covered.

Deb's Mom was always Mrs. Whippo to me during our dating years;  only after we'd been married a while did she become Dolores.  Most of my encounters with her were pleasant.  Sometimes I felt like we were more friends than mother-in-law/son-in-law.

Actually, my first love in the Whippo family was Janie.  She trailed me around Family Camp for several summers begging me to take her higher and higher on the big swing set up on the hill!  She was an adventurous, fun-loving little side-kick and she earned a special place in my heart.

After Debbie asked me out on our first date, I became a somewhat frequent visitor to the farm in Enon Valley.  I'll never forget my first visit to the farm with my friend, Howard Smith.  As we pulled into the front yard we saw a cloud of dust coming around the side of the cornfield.  Suddenly several horses came to halt and a gaggle of kids surrounded us.  They were barefooted and dirty!  Then came a million questions!  What an experience.

When I arrived for our first date, the kids were starry-eyed as Debbie came down in her gown with her hair all fixed high with yellow ribbons in it.  Barbie was three.  Laurie and Cathy had coached her to climb up me and give me a sucker bite on my neck!  She wrapped her little arms and legs around me and climbed me like a tree!

From that point on, I was an occasional visitor at the Whippo dinner table.  That was quite an experience!  I was squeezed in at the foot of the table on a corner.  Twelve of us served ourselves in turn.  The eating began immediately as Dolores put the food on the table.  She was always a blur of activity as she prepared the meal for this small crowd.  Finally, when she sat down, Ken stopped everyone and offered a prayer.  His gentle, direct way of talking to the Lord was always an inspiration.

After the meal, no one left the table;  it was a rather remarkable thing.  You'd think that all these kids would hurry off to continue whatever they had been doing before dinner.  But no, instead, they stayed at the table because of the animated discussions that took place there.  Ken was a dominant contributor to these dialogues, of course, but Dolores also offered her opinion frequently and strongly.  These nine children learned debate skills, conversational patterns, and apologetics in an informal atmosphere that was as natural as natural could be.  To this day they each have remarkable skills at observation and reflection that were cultivated around that family table.

Some of the discussions were mundane, like when does water boil and can it get hotter than 212 degrees?  Other discussions were about scriptures.  Ken essentially discipled his kids by passing on what he was learning from his teachers (prominently:  Pastor Fred Schreffler and a woman named Thelma).  His love for the scriptures was deeply instilled in the minds of his kids.

Of course, Dolores' crowning achievement in life was bringing ten children into this world in fourteen years (daughter, Audrey, only survived a short time).  She was literally washing diapers for sixteen years!

I remember her as this small-stature woman who always stood quietly beside tall, thin Ken.  She was an attractive woman - even during those many years when her life was being poured into the lives of her kids.  She was relatively quiet.

Dolores was raised in a large family too.  She had one brother and five sisters.  Her father had worked in a blast furnace while her Mom was a home-maker.  We called them Gram and Pap.  He had experienced throat surgery by the time I knew him and spoke with a small vibrator that he held against his throat.  He was small of stature but had a unique sense of humor.  Dolores and her siblings took care of their parents for a number of years until they each passed.  This became a model that Debbie and her siblings would follow in caring for Dolores.

Dolores was always good to me.  Well, almost always.  At meals, she would fuss that I had enough to eat (I was a BIG eater in those days).  It often embarrassed me because I got such favorable treatment.  Much later, Travis played into her favor as well.  If he worked on the farm, she would pull out a big T-bone steak and cook it for him.  Of course, he reveled in her attention and coddled her all the more!  🤣

There was a time, however, that Dolores showed me her other side.  We had come home from a date and were sitting up in the living room talking.  At 1:00 AM, Dolores came downstairs and demanded that I leave, telling me that I should be ashamed of myself!  She was right - I had not used good judgment!

There was another time that through a set of unfortunate (and not fully accurate) circumstances, she and Ken felt that I was an inappropriate suitor for Debbie.  They officially banned us from being together for about a year.  Of course, we sneaked out on a few dates.  Also, Deb's Grandma Whippo allowed us to meet a few times in her apartment in Rochester, too.  To my good fortune, Ken and Dolores eventually had a change of heart about me and we were once again allowed to be together!

For a good many years (mostly after the children were grown), Dolores struggled pretty deeply with depression.  Her doctor, Doc Kennedy, was a good, Christian man who took considerable time to counsel her and pray with her.  His attention was a staple in seeing her through those dark days.  I identify pretty closely with the struggles of depression.  It's a dark and lonely experience that no one else fully understands - nor do we ourselves.  I always gave Dolores  credit for continuing the struggle and staying as present as she could through those hard years.

Dolores was a blessing to us!  She came and stayed a week with us when each of our kids were born. We lived in Wilmore, Kentucky upon Travis' birth, but she came and stayed over a week to help Debbie recover and get established.  What better teacher than someone who'd been down that road nine times?  She also came and stayed with our kids for about a week every spring when Debbie and I would go off to the Minister's Institute of the Northeast.  They enjoyed having Grandma watch them and especially enjoyed the meals she made.

Dolores and I maintained a good and healthy relationship over the years.  I hope she enjoyed me.  I certainly enjoyed conversations I had with her.  On one occasion, she loaned us some money as we consolidated some loans.  She was patient with us as we paid it back.  Dolores was a shrewd money manager.  She watched Fox News religiously over the years and read the stock market adeptly.  She's the only person I know who saw the 2008 downturn coming and cashed out just before the crash took place - she didn't lose a penny!

Because of her financial acuity, she was able to pay her kids to take care of her over these last several years.  I'm sure it was satisfying to her to be able to do so.

Dolores passed quietly Wednesday morning (2/12) after several days of no communication.  She was in a good relationship with her family and had enjoyed the visits of the Hospice Chaplain who assures us that she had made her peace with God!

Did she leave a legacy?  Well, she has nine children, twenty-eight grandchildren, seventeen great-grandchildren (with one on-the-way) and most (if not all of these) are serving the Lord today!  I'd say she left a legacy!

Ken's Faults

[Ken is Kenneth W. Whippo, my father-in-law.]

When Tommy (Whippo) asked me to speak at his father's funeral, he told me that Danny (Whippo) and Marshall (Mahosky) would also be giving tributes.  I realized right away that they would have lots of nice things to say about Ken, so I immediately decided that I would take a different approach and talk about Ken’s faults.  A little advice:  never ask a son-in-law to do a tribute at a funeral for his father-in-law.  I mean, let’s admit it, even the best of us have faults.

Ken – especially in his younger years – was a fearsome man!  He was tough to work with.  He had high expectations and was demanding!  In those early years all of us – at one time or another – worked in the barn!  One day, I was in the pen working with Ken to separate the pigs that were marked and ready to be sold.  This was a challenging job because the pigs didn’t want to leave the familiarity of the pen.  So we wielded large pieces of plywood to separate the pig and force it toward the gate.  At that point Wally or Tommy would pick it up and run it down the aisle to the ramp that led to the truck.  There was always another battle there because the pigs didn’t like the ramp.  It was made of wood and was on an angle, so they would often balk.  But once one of the boys got the pig to the ramp, another boy took over with an electric prodder to get the pig up the ramp and onto the truck.

I’ve lost track now of who was running the pigs down the aisle;  but I do remember how small Tommy and Wally were at this point.  I’m guessing they were 10 and 12.  Whichever one it was got an obstinate pig.  Halfway down the aisle it decided it wanted to go back to the safety of the pen and started to climb the wall in hopes of turning around in the narrow space.  Ken noticed this problem from our work in the pen and hollered loudly and authoritatively:  “Don’t let that pig turn around!” 

It was in that moment – driven by fear of a father more than fear of a 220-pound pig – that a sixty-pound little kid threw himself on that hog and wrested it back into the right direction!  Ken was a tough guy to work with!

I’ve also noted over the years that he could be rather rude.  For instance, I have been with him over many meals at the farm, in our home and even in restaurants.  After the meal, Ken always treasured a sweet dessert.  Since Dolores and her daughters are all excellent pie-makers, we would often have pie for dessert.  Over and over, I have heard him complain about the pie that someone had worked so hard to produce! 

Here’s how it would usually unfold.  He would quickly and completely consume the piece of pie.  When his hostess, or the creator of the pie, would ask him how it was he would rudely respond:  “There’s only one thing wrong with that pie!”  He always had a twinkle in his eye when he said it, but can you believe how rude he was to do this?  [What was his answer?  “It was too small!]  J

He could also be a bit of a complainer.  A group of us were traveling home from Peter and Janie’s a few years ago.  We stopped half-way to spend the night in a hotel to break up the trip.  In the evening, we went to a local restaurant for a meal.  We were assigned a new waitress who served us very poorly.  We had to wait an inordinate time for our drinks.  When they did come, they were wrong.  It took forever for her to write down our orders.  Then it took forever for the food to arrive.  I have to admit that it was the worst service I have ever received in a restaurant.

Her poor service became the topic of our whole conversation at that table as we all marveled at the poor job she was doing.  Ken led the group in complaints.  He was incredulous that she was doing so poorly.  I think we ended up being at the table for two hours that night as she fumbled to serve us unsuccessfully.  At some point, it became so ridiculous that we simply giggled and laughed at her mis-steps.

Finally, the evening came to an end.  Imagine my surprise when Ken insisted on leaving her a very large tip.  As we were leaving the restaurant, he stepped to the side and spoke to her privately.  I wonder what he said to her?

Another fault of Ken’s was that he was openly biased.  Even though it was often directed toward my own wife, Debbie, I still always felt it was wrong of him.  I can’t tell you how many times I have seen him pull her close and tell her that she was his favorite daughter.  Even though I could understand his bias, was it really fair to his other daughters for him to do this?  [For the record:  Ken did this with all his daughters!]

Surely others of you have noticed this next fault I’ll mention.  Ken was impatient!  Debbie tells me that when they were young, he used to get ready for church and then sit in the car and blow the horn!

And this fault especially emerged when it came to food!   At many tables you say ‘grace’ before you eat;  but not at Ken’s table!  He was hungry, so he started to eat the minute the first plate hit the table!  Poor Dolores was still cooking some of the food while Ken was consuming the first thing she put on the table! 

                                                                                                                                          Oh, eventually, when Dolores would get all the food on the table and sit down Ken would call a stop to the eating and pronounce a clear and sincere prayer.

                                                                                                                                          This impatience almost turned into a game for Ken when he attended a wedding.  He had developed a fine-tuned skill at predicting a seating spot that would be served first!  And he not only did this, but he trained his family to do the same!  You watch at the next wedding they’re all at;  they have an uncanny skill at being at the front of the serving line!

Then, last of all, I will mention his most glaring fault:  he talked about others behind their back!  I can’t tell you how many times I have heard him do this.  I’ve heard him go on-and-on about what a good pastor Bob Singleton was.  I’ve heard him talk about Charlie (Mahosky) being the best guitar player around.  About what a good worship leader Jeff (Diddle) is.  About how skilled Peter (Knaus) is at sailing.  About how quickly Jim (Bredl) rose up in his work place and how good he is at what he does.  About how knowledgeable Dave (Bredl) is on so many subjects.  I rather suspect that he’s probably talked about me behind my back, too! 

And it doesn’t end there.  I’ve heard him talk about his work associates, his friends, and even his grandchildren behind their backs.  There just didn’t seem to be any end to this kind of talk. 

 

Well, I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point.  We all have faults, right?  Compared to a lot of other people I know, I suppose Ken’s faults weren’t really that bad.   

Mr. Whippo

I was 16 when I entered his world.  I'd known him before that, but not well.  In 1968, I began dating his oldest daughter, Debbie.  That was forty-seven years ago...

He was a formidable man.  Every young man who pursued his daughters feared him!  He was intimidating!  There was no doubt who the dominant force in this family was.  I called him Mr. Whippo for a year or two after Debbie and I were married.  Eventually, though, he became Ken. 

For many years he worked on the wire gang at J&L Steel Company in Aliquippa.  He was respected for his skill and ability in that arena.  He drove a long way to work every day and often had to leave early in the morning - he didn't like that. 

When he came home, he kept busy with the farm.  He had taken a risk in the mid-fifties and bought an 80-acre farm in Enon Valley.  After going several directions with the farm, he eventually settled on raising pigs.  In 1973, the year Debbie and I were married, the barn burned to the ground which was a tragic loss for the family.

But he quickly recovered and built a new barn.  Other buildings were added and the farm grew - especially after he pensioned out of the steel mill.  Eventually, his son, Wally, bought the farm and it continues as a strong enterprise today.

I admired Ken for his ability and fearless approach to large projects.  He used his electrical background to help every one of his kids and many of his friends.  He's done wiring work in all of our homes at one time or another

For a few years he sold log home kits.  During those years he built three log homes from the ground up.  Although these projects stretched him, he persevered and finished each project with pride and satisfaction.

Ken came to faith in Christ when Debbie was thirteen.  She says that everything changed after that.  He led his family to church and became a leader there.  Early in his faith he came under the influence of a wonderful Bible teacher named Thelma and grew significantly in his knowledge of the scriptures.  For many years he sat under the amazing teaching of Pastor Fred Schreffler, which continued to ground him in his faith and theology.

He was a strong leader in the Rochester Free Methodist Church.  He was highly respected there and served for years as the Sunday School superintendent.  He always stood behind his pastor.  He taught classes regularly and excelled in his knowledge of 'End Times' perspectives and 'Creation' studies.  Several of his children continue teaching on the subject of 'End Times' - basing their instruction on the foundations they learned from their father.

He became one of the first laymen to be Camp Director at the Tri-State Camp Association in East Liverpool.  To this day, his family gathers for the ten-day camp every July.  His influence there and the work done over the years is a testimony to his belief in the solidarity of the family! 

Ken was a life-long learner.  I was always intrigued by the books he was reading.  His interests ranged widely and I never knew him to follow any particular author.  He read world history, military books, political history, and biographies.  He could converse on subjects that were beyond many of us.

While raising their family of nine, the dinner table was a center for teaching and open conversation.  Often we stayed around the table for hours discussing subjects from the mundane to serious.  He openly shared what he was learning from the Bible with his children at that table.  In a sense, he discipled his kids by sharing his own faith development with them openly.

Ken and Dolores were excellent dancers.  Debbie remembers pushing the living room furniture back so that the children could watch as their parents danced to the music of Lawrence Welk on the television!  They were mesmerized by the scene.

In his latter years he mellowed.  The strong personality faded a bit and he became more gentle and caring.  The younger grandchildren have known him as a doting grandfather who made late-night 'Santa calls' and expressed open affection for them. 

Since Dolores had a stroke, he has been devoted to her, serving her daily and rarely leaving her side. 

Although his role of active leadership at the church has diminished, he is still highly regarded in the congregation as a stable, grounded influencer whose integrity has remained intact throughout the years.

Last evening - Christmas night - he thoroughly enjoyed being surrounded by his children and grandchildren.  Pictures reveal him smiling and reveling in the love of his family.  Late in the evening, when many had left he stretched and had a cardiac arrest.  He never regained consciousness.

Although his family is in deep grief, they will be able to live with a convincing assurance of where Ken is now.  His legacy will continue and his stories will be retold.