BEVERLY HAIRE - HAPPY IN HEAVEN!

So many thoughts flood my mind as I reflect on my sister, Beverly’s life. In the couple of days since she died, I’ve received lots of comforting thoughts from so many friends. My friend, Brenda Young, captured it for me by writing: 

“It is so very hard when there’s a whole set of memories that no one has but you anymore.” 

I can reflect on the death of each of my siblings now, and with each one – Jeannette, Ira and Beverly – I was able to enjoy a period where we reminisced about our parents and the way we were raised.

I don’t know when it happened, but somewhere along the way, I took on the role of ‘keeper of the family stories’. It fits me well. So, in that vein, let me share a few stories about Bev.

BEV AS A TEENAGER

I only have vague memories of Ira still living at home. When we moved to New Brighton [around 1958], he commuted to Beaver Falls to finish his senior year. He was a foreground type of person who made lots of jokes and kept extremely active.

I recall a night when he popped into the house with a friend after having visited a carnival somewhere. He walked in the door with a four-foot-tall, colorful, stuffed clown that he had won by knocking milk jugs off a shelf. He only stayed a moment before heading back out for more fun. But before he left, he gave the clown to Beverly. It was clear that it shocked her! She looked overwhelmed, confused and delighted – all at the same time! I remember feeling SO HAPPY for her that night. I also remember being SO PROUD of this big brother that I hardly knew!

BEV AT IDORA PARK

We were privileged to be able to go to Idora Park [an amusement park] in Youngstown twice a year:

·         Once because it was New Brighton High School Picnic Day, and

·         Again, when our Dad’s shop – Townsend Company – provided all-day ride passes!

I’m not sure which this day was, but we were trying to squeeze as many rides in as possible. Our dad occasionally rode with us, but mom always found a bench and someone to talk with.

This was in the latter days of Idora and it was apparent that it was beginning to decline. But we were intent on having fun!

About four of us got in line for the ‘Wildcat’ roller coaster. To prevent line-jumping, they had constructed two cyclone fences really close together to help keep the line organized [they were probably about three feet apart].

The Wildcat line was always long, but it moved fast. Standing in line gave you plenty of opportunity to talk about the last ride and anticipate the next.

As we stood in line, a few kids moved through the line passing people like they had some kind of priority pass. They passed most people so quickly that they hardly had time to react. As we stood talking and waiting, this group approached us.

Suddenly – I hadn’t seen them coming – Beverly reached out and grabbed the fence across from her right at neck level for the leader of this pack. It was an intimidating moment and I feared a conflict [remember, I’m seven years younger than Bev]. That’s when I heard her say to these guys: “That’s far enough, buster! Nobody cuts in front of me!”

It was a tense moment, but her audacity apparently had just the right amount of pressure to it that they backed up and stayed behind us.

There was no further problem and we had fun on the ride.

But I had seen a side of my sister that day that I had never seen before!  😮 

THE LIFE OF THE PARTY

I always felt proud of Bev. I think she held a hard spot in our family. Jeannette was the first child – and a daughter. She often spoke of how dad spoiled her.  Ira was the first boy – born three years after Jeannette. Bev was born four years later and held the ‘baby’ position until I was born. She also spoke of dad buying her dresses and making her feel special. But school was hard for her and she dealt with some self-esteem issues. However, she had inherited the ‘Walton’ gene for humor and fun! She had a big laugh and made many friends especially at church and Camp Meeting every summer. She loved to have fun and – as mentioned earlier – she loved amusement parks and roller coasters. 

LAUNCHING INTO ADULTHOOD

I’m a little vague on details here, but after graduation, Bev moved to the Rochester, NY area. I think that Ira had a lot to do with helping her to launch her independence. He was married and established. She lived with him briefly while she started working at Chili Plastics. Ira, Bev and I all worked at this plastics factory.

Eventually, she and Nancy [Hughes/Nasso] rented a small apartment and lived together for a good while. They eventually dated a couple of guys named Dick and Dom, and that’s where two love stories began all those years ago!

BEV AND DICK

Our family took to Dick immediately. I thought he was great because of the blue Mustang that he drove. When the family all came together at mom and dad’s house in New Brighton – it was always a fun time!

One of the favorite stories revolves around mom’s famous nut-rolls. During one family get-together, the container of these cherished pastries disappeared for about half-a-day. We looked everywhere, but couldn’t find them! We later realized that Ira had hidden them. After that, it was common for the container of nut-rolls to disappear from time-to-time. 

Mom and dad had camped for years at Red House [near Salamanca, NY]. It was a place of many memories and family fun! I clearly remember the first time that our family was introduced to Scott. We were all camping together. Dick and I drove back to Rochester to bring Scotty down. When he got out of the car, mom opened her arms to him and he ran to her! What a moment! It was love at first sight! She and Dad would be so proud of Scott, Robin and their family today. Dad was always heavily involved in leadership at the Rochester District Camp. Scott has taken up that mantle as a current leader at Tri-State Camp!

FLORIDA FUN!

Somewhere along the line, Dick and Bev started buying into time share vacations. This was to become a huge part of their lives! They lived for April to come when they would head to Florida for three, four, even five weeks of fun and sun!

Their generosity became famous as others joined in on the fun. Dick's sister, Aunt Peggy, was included at times. The Nassos were almost always part of the package. After Jeannette and Lib retired, they often stopped and stayed for a few days as well. One year, Bev and Dick hosted all of the Haires for a week at Orange Park! Ira and Joyce participated too. Debbie and I treasure that memory because Travis and Troy each came and we had such a good time together! 

The goal of these trips was relaxation, golf and fun! We always appreciated them taking Travis and introducing him to the world of Disney – something that we simply didn’t have the resources to do!

BACKYARD VACATIONS

A couple of times, Bev invited us to come up with our pop-up camper and set it up in their backyard. Dick featured regular cookouts, the kids swam whenever they wanted, and Bev and I competed on Nintendo playing a game that we called ‘Chicken-across-the road’! We screamed and laughed as the kids patiently waited for us to finish so they could play again! Bev made great meals for us and took us to the Rochester Zoo!

We had so much fun! Two years in a row, I had to drive back to East Liverpool to do funerals. That’s part of the inconvenience of being a pastor. With low salaries and a growing family, Bev and Dick sure added a lot of joy to our lives by their generous invitations! Our kids definitely loved their Uncle Dick and Aunt Bev.

LIKE HER MOM

When our dad died, we emptied out his house. It was the worst week of my life! When the end of this process arrived, I was given my mom’s and dad’s Bibles. What a treasure! I value them highly! My mom’s is filled with prayer lists of people from church, from camp, family connections and friends from the past and the present. She had taped pockets to the front and back covers to hold all of these lists!  

As the youngest, I often wondered which of our parents we took after the most.

It was clear to me that Jeannette favored the Walton side of the family. She looked like the Waltons and certainly had the mischievous humor of the Waltons. But I always thought that Ira, Bev and I took more after the Haire side. Ira – as he grew older – came to look just like our dad. It was actually remarkable.

With Bev, there was no doubt! She became a spiritual clone of our mother!

I’m a Facebooker! Until recent years, Bev was also a Facebooker. I used to marvel at my sister as I saw her brief comment over and over and over again on Facebook: “I’ll be praying for you!”  And I often told people that when my sister tells you that she’s going to pray for you – SHE WILL!  She believed in prayer! She practiced prayer! After our mom died, Bev was my number one prayer partner! Aside from Debbie, she was the first person I turned to for prayer!

She enjoyed a dynamic, personal, infectious relationship with God and she used it to bless untold thousands of people through her prayers! 

FAMILY REUNIONS

Joyce took the lead to get our Haire family together several times while they were living in Canton, PA. I’m not sure how many times we did it, but I think it might have been three. I know we did it once over Thanksgiving and another time was over July 4^th.

We all invaded their home and stayed for a few days! We took rides, enjoyed hayrides, played lots of games, ate lots of great food and just enjoyed being together! There were some great pictures taken of the four of us sitting around Joyce’s table while talking.

Thank you, Joyce, for making those great memories for us!

PRAYER TIME

There’s a striking memory that all of us have that I’d like to close with. Back in the day when mom and dad were both living [which means before October, 1981], we would all occasionally come home to visit at the same time. Our wedding was one of those times – August 11, 1973. 

I’ve already mentioned the ‘nut-roll’ story. We loved being together and would almost always attend the New Brighton Free Methodist Church together on Sunday morning. This gave our parents a great deal of pride.

All four of us – Jeannette, Ira, Beverly and me – were blessed by being raised in a home where God was highly honored! We were raised in a godly home by parents who loved the Lord and served him faithfully through their church!

After church, we would all crowd around that beautiful, oak, pull-out table…By the way, that table is still in the family! Jon and Tracie, Rylie and Coltin eat at that table every day in Rockledge, Florida!

After that meal, it was time to pack up the cars so that each of us could head home.

BUT, there was a tradition to closing those weekends. My dad would gather us all in the living room where he would ask us all to kneel. He would then lead us in a prayer in which he would pray a blessing over each one of us in order. It was a precious bonding time for our family! It was followed, of course, with lots of hugs and kisses and words of affection as we piled into our cars and left for our individual homes.

I can only imagine the loneliness that mom and dad felt as they watched the last car disappear around the bend. I’m sure he wrapped his arm around his treasured Hazel, gave her a squeeze and said something about all her hard work in making the weekend a reality!  He loved her so much! Our parents modeled a great marriage for each of us kids! We all knew that we were loved!

And friends, it’s into that loving and growing heavenly fellowship, that…

[Looking at Dick]  -  your wife

[Looking at Scott and Heather]  -  your mom

[Looking at the grandkids]  -  your Grandma

[Looking at the friends present]  -  your dear friend, Beverly

It’s into that precious, loving, heavenly fellowship that Beverly has now entered!

But far more important than family is the fact that she has finally come into the presence of Jesus – whom she loved throughout her life and to the day of her death!  Can you imagine that?

__________________________________

 Let's pray.

Our kind and loving God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit, 

We thank You for the way You blessed and watched over Beverly’s life all through these nearly eighty years!

Thank You for all in her that blessed us:

her loud laughter

her frequently repeated stories

her love for fun

her passion for worship

her desire to please her family

her committed prayer life

her love for Dick

her love for Scott and Heather

and her love for her grandchildren

and the joy she was able to take from her great grandchildren!

 

Help us, O Lord, to let go of the memories of the past two or three years

and cling to the memories that have been evoked today in this time we’ve taken to reflect on her life!

 

Help us to be grateful!

Help us to stand strong beside Dick as he moves forward without the one who stood with him in marriage since 1967.

Help us to emulate all in Beverly that was good and admirable!

Help us to use our lives to make a difference!

Help us to love one another and others.

 

If we know You, Lord, and live for You, then help us to let our light shine brightly!

If we’ve fallen away from You – call and pull us back into Your favor!

If we don’t know You yet – help us to find a quiet moment and surrender our lives into Your hands! For only then can we know the deepest of joy and peace!

 

We honor You – kind and gracious God.

                            And we pray in Jesus’ Name.                             

Amen.

EVERYTHING RISES AND FALLS ON LEADERSHIP: A Tribute to a Bishop of the Free Methodist Church!

I just read a post by former bishop of the Free Methodist Church [1985-1999], Gerald Bates.  His post celebrates his marriage to his wife, Marlene for sixty-nine years!  My response to his announcement was simply: “Still leading after all these years!”  😊

I’ve never written a tribute for a bishop before, so bear with me here, but I do believe it’s important to say things while they can still be appreciated by the people we honor!

Bishop Bates served the Free Methodist Church as a missionary from 1957-1985.  The last twelve of those years he served as the Area Administrator for center Africa!  His distinguished leadership in this role and his sacrificial blessing of the African Church propelled him into his role as bishop of the church.

What I’m about to share is my opinion and my story.  I hope you enjoy reading it.  It’s my honest reflection of this season of his leadership.

In 1985, I was early in my leadership of the Oakland FMC in East Liverpool, Ohio.  Having been appointed there in 1982 [at the age of thirty], I was just beginning to be able to lead with some measure of freedom.  A generational gap had strangled the church from growth and we were finally seeing some ability to resolve that issue and see convert growth.  My confidence was growing.  Eventually the size of the church would triple – before I moved on in 1995. 

In Bishop Bates’ first leadership session of the [then] Pittsburgh Conference, I had not liked the way a vote was taken during this special session held at the Washington, PA FMC.  [All I can remember is that we had voted by acclamation on something, and I felt that the vote was close enough to demand a ballot vote.  In my brashness I responded by frustrating the rest of the conference session.]  For some reason – in my youth and zeal – I repeatedly called for a ‘ballot vote’ on every incidental vote that occurred for the rest of that day.  It was my 'protest' against what I felt had been an injustice.

It eventually became greeted with groans across the conference floor.  Each time I made this motion, I assured that I had a ‘second’ to make it official [I can't remember who my co-conspirator was.].  Each time, Bishop Bates had to call for a vote on my motion – which, of course, lost with each incidence!  It was an exercise in frustration that grew weary as the day went on.  Whatever the issue was, I felt compelled to call it front-and-center repeatedly throughout the day to underscore my disappointment. 

When the conference session ended, Superintendent Robert Neal escorted Bishop Bates to a nearby restaurant to enjoy a meal together.  My father, a delegate from the New Brighton FMC, and his pastor, Lloyd Donnell were already seated to enjoy their meal.  The superintendent and bishop joined them at their table!  During the meal, Bishop Bates asked: “Who was the young man who was so clearly trying to make a point in our session today?”  The table went silent as Superintendent Neal and Pastor Donnell dropped their eyes to their plates.  My dad responded to the bishop: “That was my son, Bishop Bates.  His name is Harold Haire and he’s the pastor of one of our churches in East Liverpool, Ohio.”  From my understanding, that’s where the dialogue ended.  😂

____________________________________________

 With that delightful anecdote shared, let me continue. 

In his address to the conference that day, Bishop Bates said some things we had never heard before!  He told us that he recognized his need to acclimate to the American culture before he could effectively lead the church.  In doing so, he expressed confidence in our ability to lead our churches and to do so effectively.  He essentially gave us license to lead our churches in the way that we – and our people – deemed best!  It was a fresh note that we had not heard before!  Many questions ensued!

It’s important to note that at this time almost every church had a Sunday School session before its morning worship.  We also – almost without exception – still had Sunday evening services. 

 Some pastors asked:

·       Can we change the times of our services?

·       Others asked if Sunday School had to be held in the early morning?

·       One asked if it could be held in the evening instead.

Most of the questions had to do with scheduling.  You could sense an incredulous response on the part of these pastoral leaders!

Each time, Bishop Bates responded in the same manner.  Essentially, he said, “You know the culture of your church far better than I do!  Lead with wisdom and grace and do what you think you need to do in order to grow the Kingdom of God in your geographical area!”

It was liberating leadership!  Pastors were encouraged by his trust!  That next year, many changes were made in many of our churches!  We were set free to lead by our bishop, and the results were pretty remarkable!

For my entire life, the greatest growth in the Free Methodist denomination had taken place in our western conferences.  But not that year!  For the first time in memory, the eastern area led the church in growth!  It was phenomenal!  It was joyful!  It was liberating! 

_____________________________________

Leadership guru, John Maxwell has consistently taught that “everything rises and falls based on leadership!” 

When we were given the liberty to lead, growth occurred!  Bishop Bates’ humility and honest confession in his new role as bishop of the church had a stimulating impact on our area!  Pastors were empowered!  The Kingdom grew! 

Bishop Bates continued to lead the church until the end of the century!  He distinguished himself in this season of leadership!  The church – especially the eastern area – owes him a debt of gratitude!  And as I said earlier, he’s still leading today by his integrity, his devotion and his deep commitment to his Lord!  Thank you, Bishop Bates!  You have our respect and our gratitude!  Blessings on you and Marlene! 

MY BIG SISTER

I have previously mentioned Jeannette in several family blog articles, however, I never focused specifically on her.  I suppose part of my reticense was because there is SO MUCH TO SAY and so many stories that could be told.  Now that she has preceded me to Heaven, it's time to reflect on the way she lived her life. 

I was born January 27, 1952.  Less than a month later, Jeannette turned fifteen!  I have no memory of her living at home.  I also have no memories of her that do not include her (late) husband, Bob (known to most as Lib).  Her oldest son, Tom, is just four-and-a-half years younger than me.  He has a younger brother, Bob, as well.  

Jeannette and Lib always lived in Beaver Falls or Chippewa.  Since the other Haire children moved away, she played a vital role in our Mom and Dad's lives.  When I was growing up, she would flit in and out of their home on William Penn Way in New Brighton at least a couple of times a week.  Her visits were on-the-run, but were thoroughly enjoyed - mostly by our Mom.  We also made fairly frequent trips to their various homes.  

Jeannette loved our parents so much and cared for them attentively even in the midst of her very busy life.  She was the only one of the four children who took after the Walton side of our family.  This lineage afforded her two outstanding characteristics:  a nervous, hyperactive personality type and a phenomenal sense of humor!  

The stories abound!  As we gather to celebrate her life, I'm certain many of them will be retold followed by animated laughter!  Allow me to give a few examples:

In August of 1961, my brother, Ira, married Joyce Twitchell in Willow Grove, PA.  That's near Philadelphia.  Jeannette and Lib started out on this journey along with our cousin, Olive (who was - at the time - married to Lib's brother, Johnny).  [Olive was a co-conspirator with Jeannette in many of their escapades.]  Not even halfway into the trip, they had car troubles along the Pennsylvania Turnpike.  

When Lib was unable to quickly fix the car, Jeannette declared that she wasn't going to miss her brother's wedding.  She and Olive grabbed their suitcases and flagged down a Greyhound bus.  They convinced him to allow them to ride along to Philadelphia.  Upon arriving, they called Joyce to arrange a ride.  Joyce sent her uncle to the downtown Philadelphia bus station.  They all arrived barely in time for the wedding.  Unfortunately, the bus had passed quite close to Willow Grove, which could have saved a lot of time.  However, this was a time previous to cell phones.

Meanwhile, Lib was left alongside the Turnpike with two very young boys and a broken down car! 

Now picture two crazy, hyper, determined women flagging down a bus and then climbing on board carrying their suitcases.  It became part of the legend that was MY SISTER

An even earlier story illustrates the kind of faux paus that she could stumble into.  

One of my father's sisters lived in southern Ohio along with the branches of her own family.  At least once a year, my Dad would load us up for a visit "down-the-river" to see Aunt Goldie and Uncle Eber - who lived in a hollow and had a dairy farm.   

It was quite an experience for us city slickers!  Things were done a lot different down there! 

On one occasion, Aunt Goldie gave Jeannette some letters and asked her to take them down the lane to the mailbox.  As Jeannette walked away, Aunt Goldie reminded her, "Now don't forget to put the flag up!"  

Some moments later, they observed Jeannette walking down the lane with the letters and struggling to carry the American flag with her! 

One more that I'll have to clean up a bit.

One evening after the boys were grown and gone, Jeannette and Lib went to a steakhouse in Chippewa that featured a salad bar.   After eating, they went to the laundromat to do several loads of clothes.

Part way into the washing cycle, they both realized that had had an urgent need to use the restroom.  They pulled the soaking wet clothes from the washers, threw them into the car and took off for home.

Meanwhile, their son, Bobby, saw them and followed them blinking his lights to get them to stop.  When they did, he jogged up to Lib's window to talk to them.  Lib simply said, "We have to go home to..."  Then, he squealed tires as he pulled out - leaving Bobby standing alongside the road! 

But the best part of the story occurred when they got home.  Lib was a big guy at this time and wasn't capable of moving very quickly.  Jeannette took advantage of this and hopped out, running ahead of him to their only bathroom!  

I can only tell you that these are just a sample of the MANY stories that characterized my sister!  

She was always in a hurry;  always near frantic.  

Oh, I can't resist the temptation;  one more story!

Lib didn't always attend church with Jeannette.  When she could, she brought the boys with her.  Sometimes she came alone.  One Sunday, they had all come, but Jeannette was on automatic pilot and got in the car and drove home without Lib and the boys.  

When she got home and found no one there, she remembered that they had gone to church with her!  Franticly, she flew back toward the church, only to find Lib walking with a boy on each hand across the Beaver Falls - New Brighton bridge.

I think we'll skip the video of that encounter for now...

She made life fun!  She peppered life with shenanigans.  She lived life in the fast lane!  But no one can bring allegations that she ignored her family!  She was dedicated to them!  And they knew it!  Her boys brag about how she attended not only all of their sports games, but most of their practices, as well. It is only fair to say that during these years, her life was totally focused on her boys!   

She adored our parents and stayed in close contact with them always.  After our Mom died (1981), our Dad eventually needed help because of some physical challenges he was facing.  Jeannette oversaw his care and visited him regularly.  Eventually, she moved him into their house so that she could care for him even better!  He and Lib established a close relationship during that time.  

She stayed active all her life in the New Brighton Free Methodist Church.  Sadly, after her health failed, pastors failed to visit her and care for her.  However, several lay members did visit her periodically.  She loved the Lord and used her influence to point her boys in the right direction!   She believed in prayer and trusted the Lord for all her family's needs.  

She was also highly regarded in her workplace!  She started out as an employee in food service at the Blackhawk School system.  Gradually, she learned and grew in skill and knowledge to become the overseer of the entire system.  It was a huge responsibility that garnered her a ton of respect and admiration.  

There are two things I learned about my sister that made me appreciate her even more:

First, she and my brother, Ira, knew our Grandma Walton.  Our Mom's Mom had given each of her three daughters a home in Beaver Falls.  She gave our folks her own home on Mt. Washington upon their marriage in August of 1934.  However, with our Mom, Grandma Walton added a stipulation:  that she be allowed to live with them until her death.  

Ira remembered that she had a desk in the parlor that was not to be touched.  It was where she transacted her business.  Jeannette and Olive remember being sent around to various properties to collect rent.  Some of these properties were in the area of Brady's Run Park.  She was apparently a shrewd businesswoman.  She and our father must have gotten along pretty well;  we never heard him make a negative remark about her.  

The little I know about the Waltons (for instance, Grandpap Walton had the first automobile in Beaver Falls), came from Jeannette and Ira!

Second, she - like me - was spoiled!  :-)  Being the first child and having our parents to herself for three years before Ira was born, she enjoyed the complete focus of our parents!  When I visited Jeannette about ten years ago, she showed me photo albums filled with pictures of herself!  I have about three pictures of myself as a baby or young child!  [I know - this is common in all families!]

In addition, she talked about our Dad spoiling her with pretty dresses and clothes!  Beverly also tells of special attention from our Dad.  It's possible that he may have favored his daughters over his sons.  I'll have to talk to him about that someday...  ;-)   Of course, Beverly left when I was eleven, so I had six years where I had Mom and Dad all to myself.  My siblings accused me more than a few times of being spoiled!  Shear jealousy!  

I loved my sister!  The only time she was ever mean to me was during a ten minute tirade when she informed me that all the privileges that I enjoyed with our parents had been paid for by her endurance in breaking the ground for me Bev and Ira!  I still have the birthday gift that she gave me when I turned ten!  It was a vinyl album by a new group.  It's title was:  INTRODUCING THE BEATLES!  

Thanks, Jeannette!  Thanks for all you did for so many of us!  Thanks for loving Jesus!  Thanks for giving the world two great sons, two grandsons, one granddaughter, and seven great granddaughters (so far)!  Thanks for the legacy of laughter!  Enjoy your rewards...

And say 'Hi' to Mom and Dad, Ira and Travis for me!   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KOTA

I've written quite a few tributes over the years, but this is my first for a dog.

Kota came to live with the Kerstetter family about twelve years ago as a pup.  She is a yellow lab and served as a hunting dog for Jon when she was younger.  

She truly impressed me on our first visit to the Kerstetter home after she joined the family.  Rylie was a toddler and Coltin was a baby.  They crawled all over poor Kota and hugged her.  I remember watching as Rylie pulled on her eyelids.  Never did Kota snip at either of the kids.  An earlier dog had snipped at Coltin;  that dog quickly came to live with us for a while.  

But Kota earned her place as the beloved family dog and guardian of the children!  She was an excellent watch-dog and was not happy when anyone drove up their 'Dead-End' street.  Her hearing was excellent and she was their early-warning alert system!  Earlier in their marriage, when Jon was going on rather long deployments, Kota was a great source of comfort and security for Tracie!  

When Debbie and I visit several times a year, Kota always greets us warmly with lots of licking and rubbing up against us.  She has a sweet disposition and makes friends quickly and easily.  

It may sound funny, but I've thanked the Lord for Kota many times in my prayers!  I've viewed her as God's helper in protecting my grandkids!  She did a GOOD job of that and earned their love - and the family does, indeed love her!  

For those of us who love our dogs, we know how they endear themselves to us.  They truly become part of the family!  They bond with us and their faithfulness amazes us.  Did God have this in mind when He made them?  I wonder...

Kota has been experiencing difficulty getting up and moving around during the last year.  I've watched Jon tenderly help her stand up so she can eat.  She's been spending a bit more time on her bed lately.

There's so much happening in the Kerstetter home right now with a major move anticipated soon from Connecticut to Florida.  Preparing the house for sale, sorting through all their belongings, reducing the clutter, painting, cleaning - STRESS!!!!

When we were up for Coltin's birthday in March, Tracie wondered if Kota was going to be able to make the move.  Apparently, yesterday they decided she wouldn't.  

After training her replacement for the last year or so, Kota has now moved on.  There's tremendous sadness in the house today;  it will not go away quickly.  Many of you know this sadness and have experienced it.  Now Gunner will get all the love and attention.  Will Gunner live up to the expectations of his teacher?  I'm quite sure he'll get the same love and attention.  

Thanks, again, Kota!  You did a good job and you'll be missed!  

[Watch for my next blog article:  "Do Dogs Go To Heaven?"]  

PARISHONER AND FRIEND

I probably met Jim Heldreth on the grounds of the Tri-State Campground [a lot of people knew him as Jack].  He was a strong supporter of the camp through the years.  He was about ten years younger than my parents, but thirty years older than me.  He and my father served on many Rochester District and Pittsburgh Conference committees together.

Jim was a trustee at Roberts Wesleyan College for many years and was highly regarded for his service there.  While I was a student in the early 1970's, he looked me up on a couple of occasions for a brief visit - always ending with the question:  "Harold, how are you doing spiritually?"  

Not many people asked that question and I appreciated his concern for my spiritual well-being.  

Little did either of us know that in a little more than ten years, I would be appointed to be his pastor at the Oakland Free Methodist Church in East Liverpool, Ohio (1982).  

Jim had some characteristics that I'll now try to describe:

• He was a deeper thinker than most.
• He often saw things from a perspective that was unique to him.
• He 'noodled' on things for long periods before establishing an opinion.
• When he established an opinion, he held to it tenaciously.
• He was not an emotional man but held to his beliefs as precious!
• He was a very handsome man and could be very charming (which I'm sure contributed to his success as a salesman).  
• He lived according to principles that he had discerned and never broke them.

I recall a story he told me of finding a quarter along the road in front of his 'growing-up' home.  He ran with it to his father holding it out with excitement.  His father asked Jim if the quarter was his.  He explained that he had found it.  But his father asked again if it was his quarter.  Jim answered, "No."  His father responded, "Then put it back where you found it."  

Jim's past was important to him.  He continued to own the original homestead property for many years.  He took me along on trips to West Virginia several times to visit that old home and property.  It was well-hidden in the cracks and valleys on back roads that could hardly be called roads.  Yet Jim still knew and talked with all his 'neighbors'.  I enjoyed those road-trips together.  He was a different man there.

He challenged me frequently and was not timid to let me know when I had disappointed him or when he disagreed with me.  Most of the time, he seemed to think I was a pretty solid preacher.  😊  But there were other times that he held my feet to the fire.  

During the thirteen years I served as his pastor, the American church was going through a rapid series of changes.  These were replicated in the Oakland Church.  I found myself in the tenuous position of trying to maintain a balance between a fairly established group of older believers (who had built the current building and were strong supporters of the church financially and with their attendance) and a group of younger, more charismatic believers who had a bigger, more aggressive vision.

As the church grew and changed - ultimately becoming a church of well over two hundred, my relationship with Jim seemed to stumble.  He never withdrew from me, but our closeness diminished.  I always regretted that. 

When I was part of the Promise Keeper's movement in the 1990's, I received a teaching from Howard Hendricks that I agreed with:

“Every disciple needs three types of relationships in his life. He needs a 'Paul' who can mentor him and challenge him. He needs a 'Barnabas' who can come along side and encourage him. And he needs a 'Timothy,' someone that he can pour his life into.”

Jim Heldreth was my Paul for a season and I appreciate the investment he made in me! 


OBITUARY

May 30, 2020

James Jackson Heldreth, 98, of Chester, WV, formally of East Liverpool, OH passed away peacefully on Thursday, May 28, 2020 at East Liverpool City Hospital.

James was born on December 24, 1921 in Smithfield, WV the son of the late Wilbert C and Ethel (Dye) Heldreth.  James joined the US Marine Corps during World War II and served in the South Pacific.    He graduated from Chesbrough Seminary, which is now Roberts Wesleyan College in Rochester, New York.  Later he served for 18 years on Roberts Board of Trustees and upon resigning was elected into the Alumni Hall of Fame.  James was employed by Chrysler Corporation, Ferro Corporation and Endicott Church Furniture Inc. of Winona Lake, Indiana, where he worked  as a Sales Counselor  until he retired in 1983.   James was a member of the Free Methodist Church since 1933 and at Oakland Free Methodist Church in East Liverpool since 1941.  The college and church were his main interest in life.

James was preceded in death on March 2, 2006 by his wife, Anna, whom he married on March 14, 1941.

James is survived by one brother, Charles Heldreth of Columbiana, OH and many nieces, nephews, and cousins

GROWING UP WITH THE JONES TWINS

I grew up in New Brighton, PA.  I think half of my life was spent in the rooms and hallways of the New Brighton Free Methodist Church!  During my young teen years, Reverend W. P. Jones was our pastor.  He was a good pastor and a good preacher.  One day, when I was quite young, my parents were having a conversation in the car about him on the way home from church.  They were talking - of all things - about his benediction.  He would always raise his hands as though blessing the entire congregation and pronounce his benediction.  I spouted out from the back seat:  "Reverend Jones has four benedictions!"  My parents turned and looked at me with questioning looks.  I proceeded to quote the four different benedictions that he consistently used to close our services.  I think they were shocked!  I guess I was an observant kid!

He and I had a sort of game that we played on Sundays.  As he stood in the foyer greeting people, I would try to sneak past him.  But he almost always saw me, grabbed me, hugged me, mussed up my hair and sometimes even kissed me!  If I did win the game and got past without him catching me - I suddenly realized that I had actually lost the game.  There might have even been a time or two when I went down through the basement and came up through the sanctuary again to give him a second chance!  He consistently let me know that I was valued and loved!  I will forever love him for that!

But the best part of having him for a pastor was his identical twin sons, Daniel and David.  Believe me, they had a reputation!  They defined the term PK (Preacher's Kids)!  They were mischievous and fun-loving!  They were one year younger than me and we thoroughly enjoyed our years together while they lived in New Brighton!

There are endless stories of their exploits.

One time Daniel had displeased his father.  His Dad told him to sit still while he went to get the paddle.  Meanwhile, David came through the room and Daniel talked him into switching places with him.  I'm not exactly sure how that turned out in the end, but it's characteristic of their antics.  I've heard them tell stories of switching places in classrooms over the years too.

We occasionally sat together in church on Sunday nights.  That never turned out very well.  I remember quite a few times when Reverend Jones stopped in the middle of his sermon and told the twins to go sit with their mother and me to go sit with my parents.

David and Daniel were very athletic!  They particularly loved going to Pirates games in Pittsburgh.  They would go early and buy the cheapest tickets.  Then, as the game proceeded they would gradually use their charm with the ushers to work their way down further and further into better and better seats.  They were infamous at getting baseballs and having them signed by the players.

We had tons of fun every year at Camp Meeting in East Liverpool, OH.  Ten days of endless pranks and fun!  I remember singing in the showers as we drained the last of the hot water out of the tanks!  Reverend Jones and his family ran the camp store in those days.  It was the gathering place for everyone on the campground after the evening services.  Hamburgers and hot dogs and milkshakes and lots of candy!

But, as adulthood arrived, the years and miles separated us.  They both ended up in the Indianapolis area.  The few times they made it back to visit at Family Camp, I was off somewhere and missed them.  It made me sick when I returned and heard that the Jones twins had stopped by for a visit - and I missed them!  They were good friends and we had a heart connection!

I haven't seen them in years - sad to say.  In recent years, however, I have reconnected with Daniel via Facebook.  We've exchanged greetings and items of interest many times.  It grieved me several months ago when he contacted me and asked me to pray for David.  He had been discovered to have a pretty severe case of cancer.  My heart has ached for David, his wife, Rhonda, and their three children ever since.  Yesterday, David went to his eternal home!  He's now rejoicing with his Dad and Mom and others who preceded him there.  But more important, he's with the Lord that he loved and served throughout his entire life!  How much better can that get?

Kind and Gracious God,

Thank You for giving me such good friends throughout my lifetime!  I've been a prosperous man when it comes to friendships!  Thank You specifically for Daniel and David Jones and the wonderful times we had together as teenagers.  Thank You that they shared a love for You with me and their families.  Thank You for their Dad and his faithfulness to You through his fruitful ministry!  

And now, I lift Rhonda and their children to You.  Provide them comfort in their loss.  Be an ever-present Provider for their needs.  Guide them throughout their lives and bring each of them close to Your heart.  Also bless Daniel, Debra, Mark, and Paula as they deal with the loss of this special brother.  Grant each of them a special peace that can come only from knowing and loving You!  

For the Kingdom's sake.  Amen.  

HIGH FIVES IN HEAVEN TODAY!

Charles (Charlie) Young had tons of friends - I was one of them.  Charlie had many circles of friendship;  I was probably in the fifth or sixth circle, but I counted it a privilege to be there!  He went to Heaven last night after a prolonged, mysterious physical struggle.  To say that he will be missed is the understatement of the year!  

When a truly godly man passes, our world takes a hit.  A godly man's influence is of inestimable value!  

Debbie and I attended Asbury Seminary at the same time as Charlie and Brenda.  Our paths crossed off-and-on through the years at various conferences.  We knew they had landed in Akron and were making a significant impact for Jesus there.

Charlie was the camp evangelist at the Tri-State Camp in the mid-1980's.  I remember several of his messages from that camp.  I also remember that he preached for over an hour every night!  But I never heard a complaint!  :-)

Charlie and Brenda were the speakers at a Pittsburgh Conference Pastor's Retreat back in the early 1990's.  It was one of the best we ever had!  Brenda spoke a "word of knowledge" to me at that event that changed my life!  

While we were living in Spencerville, Maryland, Brenda was brought in for a one-day pastor's training event.  Their ministry at Cornerstone Church was dynamic and they were each getting opportunities to speak during this season.  

Eventually, Charlie was called up to a greater level of service as the superintendent of the Ohio Conference.  It was at that time that Brenda began leading Cornerstone Church.  

A family crisis caused us to leave Maryland and retreat to our family in western Pennsylvania for several months.  Eventually, we landed a job in Akron running a licensed home for behaviorally challenged children in Summit County.  We knew when we moved to the area that we would attend Cornerstone Church.  We looked forward to being part of the ministry of this great congregation.

On our first visit to Cornerstone, we noticed that they were saying farewell to an associate pastor.  Within weeks, Brenda hired me as a part-time pastor.  A few months later, another associate left and I was bumped up to the Lead Associate position.  Over the next six years we got to know Charlie and Brenda a lot better.

Charlie always impressed me!  He had a strong impact on men!  They seemed drawn to him!  He had shown himself capable of church-growing, church-planting and church-rescuing!  He accrued this reputation without arrogance or standing aloof from others!  He loved people equally and thoroughly. He modeled a godly life for everyone and did so with excellence.  

He gave a message at Cornerstone one week that I've never forgotten!  He told of the Passover and the command to the Israelites not to allow anyone to leave their houses that night as the angel-of-death moved through the city.  In doing so, he talked about the love of a father and suggested that many fathers that night sat in a chair in the doorway to prevent any children from accidentally slipping out of the house.  Charlie brought out a chair and set it on the platform.  With tears, he talked of a father's love and a father's desire to protect his family!  It was a deeply moving message for men! 

Charlie led his family with strength!  On more than a few times, I have heard him address Brenda with the words, "Now dear..."  When he spoke the word "dear", his voice had a slight dip to it that matched perfectly the twinkle in his eye.  It was the most tactful setting of a boundary that I've ever observed!  ;-)   

Charlie used his gift of humor masterfully and his contagious smile and belly laugh brought joy to any group he participated in!  He was a big guy physically;  I eventually came to realize that he had to be in order to contain such a great heart for God and others!  

His legacy is well-established!  It'll be carried on for generations through Rachel, Zach and Jacob.  And then it'll go even longer through the grandchildren's lives that he has touched!  But more than that, it'll be carried on by the thousands of people whose lives were changed and impacted through his preaching, teaching, modeling and friendship!

One thing is certain!  Charlie is enjoying his reward today!  He'll be missed beyond description by his family and a LOT of others;  but, he laid a foundation of strength that will carry his loved ones through!  

Debbie and I are sad and surprised that he's gone on ahead of us!  We happen to be on vacation and will be unable to be a part of any farewell events for Charlie.  That makes us feel badly, but our prayers will join with those of MANY others to bless this family and call on God for strength for Brenda, the family and Cornerstone Church!  

So long, Charlie!  See ya later!  :-)

THIS GIANT WAS ON GOD'S SIDE!

He first came into my life while I was leading the Oakland Church in East Liverpool.  I had arranged for an evangelist named Lucien Behar to come for a few days of training.  Jim Stetler - from Akron - brought him and they both stayed in our home.  I already knew the stature of Lucien, but I was very impressed with Jim over that few days.  He and Lucien regaled us with stories at meal times.  The training times were very effective and moved us toward being a more outreaching congregation.  I think it was the fall of 1993.

After a family crisis launched us into a period of limbo in 1997, we eventually landed in Akron, Ohio, running a licensed home for behaviorally challenged kids.  That gradually led to my full time employment with the Cornerstone Church, led by Brenda Young.  That's when I ran into Jim again.  He was a deeply established leader at Cornerstone and highly regarded by everyone.

Jim was a door-opener!  He had a tenacious way about him that both endeared him to people and irritated people.  When folks would miss church on any given Sunday, Jim would go home and begin making phone calls to let them know he missed them.  I'll never forget a conversation we had one day when he complained to me that he could never get through in calling these people.  The look on his face was priceless when I told him about caller-ID and suggested that they were filtering his calls and choosing not to speak to him! 

Two words leap to my mind when I think about Jim (who just went to Heaven a few days ago):  dedicated and passionate!  Jim got up VERY EARLY several days a week for many years to meet with groups of men over breakfast for spiritual training.  He was involved in men's ministry at three different levels that I was aware of:  the local church, the city of Akron and the national level.  He wanted to see men fulfill their God-appointed role in the family and in the church.  I've observed few who had the bullish determination for pursuing people as Jim did!

Although I was the Lead Associate at the church, I considered Jim as a role model and coach.  I didn't agree with him on everything (few did), but I always gave him respect because no one worked harder for the Kingdom than Jim did!  He was often at the center of conflict with other staff members - even Brenda.  You had to have patience to work with Jim;  he saw things through a singular lens and fought hard to defend his position!  But he had a soft side, too, and could admit his mistakes and exhibit humility.

Jim also had a humor bone and a mischievous grin that let you know he was pulling your leg!  He could laugh as well as anyone - even when the joke was on him.  I loved this guy!

Let me give you a picture of the wisdom that God imparted to him.  One Wednesday evening, we had a summer cook-out.  A new couple with several young children showed up for the first time.  I noticed them immediately and moved to meet them and begin to get acquainted.  It didn't take long for Jim to spot them, too.  He came over and I introduced him.  The young woman jumped on having two leaders before her and said:  "We're not married, but we live together.  I'm an exotic dancer, and we have a lot of history behind us.  We've been to several churches and when they find this stuff out, they let us know that we're not welcome anymore.  Is it going to be any different here?"

I didn't even get a chance to respond.  Jim gave her an immediate response that was straight from the heart of God.  "Let me tell you about Cornerstone Church.  You will be completely accepted and loved here!  We will help you to grow in your relationship to God.  However, you will not be invited to membership or leadership until you have begun your walk with  Christ."

That was all they needed to hear.  They became very active at Cornerstone and brought scores of their friends to us as well!  She became a leader and had a prolonged and dynamic influence on the Kingdom of God!  Debbie and I became very close to this couple and their family.  For about a year, Debbie led a Bible study for her and her dancer-friends!  Jim's Spirit-wisdom opened the door!

Jim led a Sunday School class every Sunday morning for years!  In this class he taught and matured new believers.  If they dropped out - he pursued them!  Most of our leaders at Cornerstone had Jim's fingerprints all over them!

Jim was the iconic bulldog for Jesus!  He set a pace of persistence, diligence, determination, focus and passion that made a massive difference at every level of his investment.

My sympathies to Bonnie and Jim's children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren;  he will surely be missed!  Also to Cornerstone Church who has lost one of their giants!  But to be honest, I can't help but giggle to think of that moment when Jim fell into the arms of Jesus, his Savior!  I can see Jim trembling and weeping as Jesus whispered into his ear:  "Good job, Jim!  Thanks for all you did for Me!  You made a huge difference!" 

BIG SHOES TO FILL

I read on FaceBook that my friend, Dale Garrett, died Tuesday.  When I passed this word to my son, Troy, he expressed the same genuine sorrow that I did when I heard the news.  We sat in the same row with Dale and Pat on Sunday morning at church.  It's hard to believe that he's gone.  Genuine sympathies to Pat and his family!

I was Dale's pastor for nine years.  He was a regular attender and continual encourager.  His unique laugh echoed in our halls and his charismatic smile infected anyone around.  

Dale drew a crowd when he started into his story-telling mode.  His 'bigger-than-life' stories were captivating and often left you wondering how much was actually accurate.  I've heard him tell stories about his brothers and sisters on numerous occasions.  They must have been a tough bunch!  He made them sound like lumberjacks or studio-wrestling types.   He would unwind his stories and look you right-in-the-eye and say, "It's the truth!"  :-)

The whole community will miss him for his assumed role as Santa Claus every Christmas season!  He served the children and adults of our area for years as its greatest advocate of genuine Christmas joy!  He was tireless in portraying this venerable character!  Nobody did it better!

We invited him to stop by one year when our grandchildren were visiting.  They were apparently too young to appreciate him and stood watching from behind their mother.  But Dale spent over an hour trying to coax them to his side.  

Eventually he turned his attention to our son, Troy, and our son-in-law, Jon.  Before long, he had Troy on the floor teaching him how to do a one-handed push-up!  And the stories rolled...

This expression of Christmas joy came to fruition one year during our NIGHT OF JOY celebration.  As we presented the Christmas story that year, I had asked Dale to be a part of the evening.  He showed up - in costume - and greeted people in the foyer before and after the program - picture-taking abounded!  

But the most meaningful moment of the evening came when Dale (Santa) came forward at the climax of the play and knelt at the manger for a few moments.  Powerful!

Many kids grew up at Free Methodist Community Church thinking that Santa attended their church all year long!  

One of the things I loved about serving Free Methodist Community Church was the fact that we were rich with men on Sundays.  There were a number of times during my tenure that I made a special appeal to men in the congregation.  Each time I did so, Dale Garrett was the first on his feet and moving toward the front.  I have no doubt that he loved the Lord and sincerely tried to be a good man!  

Dale's generosity was a hallmark!  He gave freely of his time, talent and treasure.  On a couple of occasions he encouraged me to borrow his Corvette to use in taking Debbie out on a special date.  I guess I was too proud to accept his offer which is a shame because I know he really wanted me to do so.  

In 2012, Debbie and I left our role at FMCC and headed for China to teach English.  Dale was so excited for us.  Many years earlier, he and Pat had lived in Japan for a number of years and he regaled me with stories of the different countries they had visited and lived in.  He strongly reassured me that this experience would be valuable and enjoyable.  Of course, he was right!  

During our three years in China, communications gradually declined - the "out-of-sight, out-of-mind" principle at work!  We distinctly felt the loss even among our family.  We had some pretty lonely holidays during those years.  But Dale never quit communicating!  I have a file of stories that he sent along that brought me laughter and joy at a time of relative isolation.  He kept me informed about his grandchildren and his other activities.  

Like so many others, I'm going to miss him!  I'll miss that high-pitched "He he he..." that signaled his excitement!  I'll miss him coming up to me and telling me:  "Pastor Hal, you're a good man!"  He was the good man!  He made an impression!  Be sure that my prayers will prevail for Pat and the rest of this special family!  Heaven is richer as this new resident thunders down the streets of gold!  

If you'd like to read his obituary, copy and paste this link:  

http://www.vindy.com/news/tributes/2017/nov/02/dale-l-garret/