Debbie and I have always joked that we had a parental advantage since she is the oldest (she calls it 'first-born') of nine children and I'm the youngest of four. We figured we had all the bases covered.
Deb's Mom was always Mrs. Whippo to me during our dating years; only after we'd been married a while did she become Dolores. Most of my encounters with her were pleasant. Sometimes I felt like we were more friends than mother-in-law/son-in-law.
Actually, my first love in the Whippo family was Janie. She trailed me around Family Camp for several summers begging me to take her higher and higher on the big swing set up on the hill! She was an adventurous, fun-loving little side-kick and she earned a special place in my heart.
After Debbie asked me out on our first date, I became a somewhat frequent visitor to the farm in Enon Valley. I'll never forget my first visit to the farm with my friend, Howard Smith. As we pulled into the front yard we saw a cloud of dust coming around the side of the cornfield. Suddenly several horses came to halt and a gaggle of kids surrounded us. They were barefooted and dirty! Then came a million questions! What an experience.
When I arrived for our first date, the kids were starry-eyed as Debbie came down in her gown with her hair all fixed high with yellow ribbons in it. Barbie was three. Laurie and Cathy had coached her to climb up me and give me a sucker bite on my neck! She wrapped her little arms and legs around me and climbed me like a tree!
From that point on, I was an occasional visitor at the Whippo dinner table. That was quite an experience! I was squeezed in at the foot of the table on a corner. Twelve of us served ourselves in turn. The eating began immediately as Dolores put the food on the table. She was always a blur of activity as she prepared the meal for this small crowd. Finally, when she sat down, Ken stopped everyone and offered a prayer. His gentle, direct way of talking to the Lord was always an inspiration.
After the meal, no one left the table; it was a rather remarkable thing. You'd think that all these kids would hurry off to continue whatever they had been doing before dinner. But no, instead, they stayed at the table because of the animated discussions that took place there. Ken was a dominant contributor to these dialogues, of course, but Dolores also offered her opinion frequently and strongly. These nine children learned debate skills, conversational patterns, and apologetics in an informal atmosphere that was as natural as natural could be. To this day they each have remarkable skills at observation and reflection that were cultivated around that family table.
Some of the discussions were mundane, like when does water boil and can it get hotter than 212 degrees? Other discussions were about scriptures. Ken essentially discipled his kids by passing on what he was learning from his teachers (prominently: Pastor Fred Schreffler and a woman named Thelma). His love for the scriptures was deeply instilled in the minds of his kids.
Of course, Dolores' crowning achievement in life was bringing ten children into this world in fourteen years (daughter, Audrey, only survived a short time). She was literally washing diapers for sixteen years!
I remember her as this small-stature woman who always stood quietly beside tall, thin Ken. She was an attractive woman - even during those many years when her life was being poured into the lives of her kids. She was relatively quiet.
Dolores was raised in a large family too. She had one brother and five sisters. Her father had worked in a blast furnace while her Mom was a home-maker. We called them Gram and Pap. He had experienced throat surgery by the time I knew him and spoke with a small vibrator that he held against his throat. He was small of stature but had a unique sense of humor. Dolores and her siblings took care of their parents for a number of years until they each passed. This became a model that Debbie and her siblings would follow in caring for Dolores.
Dolores was always good to me. Well, almost always. At meals, she would fuss that I had enough to eat (I was a BIG eater in those days). It often embarrassed me because I got such favorable treatment. Much later, Travis played into her favor as well. If he worked on the farm, she would pull out a big T-bone steak and cook it for him. Of course, he reveled in her attention and coddled her all the more! 🤣
There was a time, however, that Dolores showed me her other side. We had come home from a date and were sitting up in the living room talking. At 1:00 AM, Dolores came downstairs and demanded that I leave, telling me that I should be ashamed of myself! She was right - I had not used good judgment!
There was another time that through a set of unfortunate (and not fully accurate) circumstances, she and Ken felt that I was an inappropriate suitor for Debbie. They officially banned us from being together for about a year. Of course, we sneaked out on a few dates. Also, Deb's Grandma Whippo allowed us to meet a few times in her apartment in Rochester, too. To my good fortune, Ken and Dolores eventually had a change of heart about me and we were once again allowed to be together!
For a good many years (mostly after the children were grown), Dolores struggled pretty deeply with depression. Her doctor, Doc Kennedy, was a good, Christian man who took considerable time to counsel her and pray with her. His attention was a staple in seeing her through those dark days. I identify pretty closely with the struggles of depression. It's a dark and lonely experience that no one else fully understands - nor do we ourselves. I always gave Dolores credit for continuing the struggle and staying as present as she could through those hard years.
Dolores was a blessing to us! She came and stayed a week with us when each of our kids were born. We lived in Wilmore, Kentucky upon Travis' birth, but she came and stayed over a week to help Debbie recover and get established. What better teacher than someone who'd been down that road nine times? She also came and stayed with our kids for about a week every spring when Debbie and I would go off to the Minister's Institute of the Northeast. They enjoyed having Grandma watch them and especially enjoyed the meals she made.
Dolores and I maintained a good and healthy relationship over the years. I hope she enjoyed me. I certainly enjoyed conversations I had with her. On one occasion, she loaned us some money as we consolidated some loans. She was patient with us as we paid it back. Dolores was a shrewd money manager. She watched Fox News religiously over the years and read the stock market adeptly. She's the only person I know who saw the 2008 downturn coming and cashed out just before the crash took place - she didn't lose a penny!
Because of her financial acuity, she was able to pay her kids to take care of her over these last several years. I'm sure it was satisfying to her to be able to do so.
Dolores passed quietly Wednesday morning (2/12) after several days of no communication. She was in a good relationship with her family and had enjoyed the visits of the Hospice Chaplain who assures us that she had made her peace with God!
Did she leave a legacy? Well, she has nine children, twenty-eight grandchildren, seventeen great-grandchildren (with one on-the-way) and most (if not all of these) are serving the Lord today! I'd say she left a legacy!
