PARENTING - JACOB'S FAILURES WITH JOSEPH!

Surmise  -  definition:  to form a notion about something from scanty evidence.  [Merriam-Webster]

That's what I'll be doing in this blog.

In Genesis 37, Jacob has settled in Canaan – the land of his fathers, Abraham and Isaac.  The narrator of this story then continues Jacob’s story by following the life of one of his youngest sons – Joseph.

Joseph is first of two sons born to Rachael.  At this point in our story Joseph is a young man – perhaps even a teenager.  He has not lived a normal life!  He is the favorite son of his father, Jacob [also known as Israel].  Jacob dotes on Joseph, even to the point of making a colorful robe with long sleeves for him to wear.  His ten half-brothers see the favor that Joseph receives from their father and become intensely jealous of him!

We can only assume that Joseph is naïve, spoiled and immature.  This is where the surmising comes into play.

It seems that God may have wanted to give Joseph a glimpse of the future to encourage and guide him.  Consequently, Joseph has a dream that portrays him as being over his brothers to such an extent that they bow down to him!  In a second dream, even his father and mother bow down before him along with the brothers! 

Joseph would have been wise to have kept these dreams to himself, but he didn’t.  He foolishly shared them with his brothers and even his father.  The result was predictable.  The brothers grew to hate Joseph even more and even Jacob scolded him for his grandiose imagination! 

This deepening animosity from the brothers against Joseph grew significantly.  They also saw the light duty that Joseph was assigned as a message-carrier and one who reported on the work of his brothers. 

Most of you know the rest of this story.  The brothers conspire first to kill Joseph.  Then, his oldest brother, Reuben, convinced them to just throw Joseph into a pit – planning to come back later and rescue him.  However, while Reuben is watching the flocks, a caravan comes by and Judah convinces the brothers to sell Joseph to the Ishmaelites.  Our chapter ends with Joseph being sold in Egypt to a man named Potiphar who is one of Pharaoh’s officers and the captain of the guard.

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Many will remember that ultimately Joseph becomes a ruler in Egypt second only to the Pharaoh!  In such a position, he is able to rescue his family back in Canaan from a terrible, extensive draught!  He moves his entire family to Egypt where he can protect them, but eventually – after Joseph dies – the Hebrews become slaves to the Egyptians! 

This, of course, sets up the need for a savior and the call of Moses to lead the children of Israel out of Egypt! 

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So, what do we learn from Genesis 37? 

The lessons seem rather obvious:

Young people are not fully developed!  They are immature!  Their brains will not be fully grown until they reach the age of about twenty-six!  Consequently, we can expect them to make unwise decisions.  Doing so is part of their growing and maturing process!  It’s one of the ways that they learn!  Experience is a great teacher! 

God has given them resources for this period that can be a great aid to them as they pass through adolescence and into adulthood.  The most effective of these resources are parents!  They brought this child into the world and – hopefully – they love this child immensely!  They care about his/her development and growth!  They have aspirations for them to achieve their goals and fulfill their dreams.  Having been through this growth process themselves, parents can put up guard-rails and provide guidance that will allow their child to flourish and – hopefully – avoid at least some of the painful pitfalls of growing up! 

However, there are inherent challenges and obstacles involved in this process.  It’s natural to love and care for a baby – or even toddler.  They’re totally dependent on the care and devotion of the parents.  However, as the child grows and begins to develop their personality [which typically is fully developed by age seven], they are a little more challenging to love and guide!  These early, developmental years demand time and attention from parents that can be exhausting! 

Add to this the fact that parents are frequently distracted by their own goals and objectives, and consequently give less attention to their growing and developing children – even at times, turning much of their supervision over to caregivers, day-care-centers, schools and peers! 

Then, when adolescence begins to affect this growing child, all kinds of new skills and approaches will be required for the parents!  It is essential that these parents not disengage and leave their child to find their own way through the maze of social engagement.  Peers’ influence will become supreme during these years!  Our teens need supervision and accountability more than ever through this extended stage!  Even though they may not seem to want the involvement of their parents, they desperately need it! 

Parents must not withdraw during this inevitable developmental period!  Their counsel, guidance, support, guidelines and attention are essential to helping their child develop into a healthy, mature and wise adult!  This guidance must not be smothering!  It should allow the young person to experiment with decision-making and then deal with the consequences of their actions.  Parents must be available to help debrief experiences and help dissect and examine the consequences and learn from them.  This must be done in a calm, supportive environment – not one of rage and belittling! 

Parents must not give up!  Believe it or not, the teen years are the most important years for you to stay engaged in your child’s life!  It’s a zoo out there and they need guidance and protection!  That is your role! 

Keep the channels open consistently.  Make sure they know that they can turn to you in any and all circumstances!  Open doors of communication daily and engage them!  One of my personal tips is to keep visiting them at bedtime.  Sit on their bed and ask them about their day.  There is something about this time of day that causes reflection; if they’re troubled, they might open up to you! 

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Joseph turned out alright because God was guiding and directing his life!  That’s abundantly clear from his storyline! 

God will also be at work in your child’s life!  The more you can surround them with godly influences – the better it will be! 

They’re more likely to make Christian friends in church!  Youth pastors can be an immense influence in your teens’ lives! 

Talk to God about your children daily!  Pray WITH them!  What could be more important?  Entrust them to His care and engage with them every day so they KNOW the depth of your caring! 

Watch for a follow-up blog soon!