I WON'T BE CLIMBING MT. EVEREST!

No surprise there - right?  But I'm not disappointed since I had never planned or hoped to do so anyway.  

I really do feel badly about having to give up hiking the Annapurna Trek in Nepal.  That was to be the crème de la crème of my hiking aspirations.  I  had also given some hope to hiking at least part of China's Great Wall [hopefully along with my friend, Randy].  But that's off the list also - for many reasons!  I had also given some thought to hiking the Camino de Santiago in Europe, but I would have liked to have a partner for that spiritual adventure.  

But, a couple of years ago - at 69 years of age - I began to experience the Haire handicap of arthritis along with an impediment related to my sciatic nerve in my right leg.  Now, my reality is limited to walking just about a mile.  My cane-chair has become a treasured companion.  People seem amused when I pop it open in Walmart and sit for a while.  😆  The Rogers' Sale is typically my biggest excursion for the week on Friday mornings.  

But I can walk!  PTL!  And I don't intend to stop!  

By the way, I'v done lots of hiking and backpacking over the years!  Monday was almost always my day off and it usually found me in the woods for three or four hours!  I've backpacked large sections of the North Country Trail repeatedly.  I've also done the Laurel Highlands Trail [70 miles from Johnstown to Ohiopyle, PA] about six times either alone or with a friend!  In 2018, I hit the Appalachian Trail for several months and thoroughly enjoyed the challenge!  I've spent hundreds of nights in the woods alone!  I've got stories to accompany those experiences!  

But, unless the Lord strengthens and heals me - or I choose to spend the thousands of dollars that a specialist has recommended - I'm probably pretty limited in my hiking aspirations.  But that's ok; I doubt that the above-mentioned dreams would have ever materialized anyway.  

I think the things that caused me to enjoy backpacking were essentially two-fold:

1. I found it to be a challenge!  Carrying forty-five pounds into the woods for a week or more was adventurous!  It was not something that everybody did!  And the rewards of hiking up a mountain and enjoying the vistas from its top were mesmerizing.  It was demanding!  There were many times when I wondered why I was out there!  🙄  There were a few times when I was intimidated by the darkness, the storms, and just general fear.  But all-in-all, it was exhilarating!  
2. I loved the solitude!  It was me and God!  The conversation began as I entered the trail and continued for the duration of the hike!  I settled lots of issues while backpacking!  I experienced high moments of worship and deep intimacy with God!  One hike produced the only miracle that I've personally experienced in my life!  Most of my praying was out loud!  I love to pray out loud - it helps me stay focused and lends a face-to-face quality to my dialogue with God!  

I soon expect to start unpacking all of those backpacking gear boxes and passing them along to someone who can use this stuff!  I still have a good bit of prepared food from my AT experience.  It might come in handy someday if we experience a crisis.  

I'm clearly in a de-accumulating phase of my life!  I figure its better for me to go through all this junk than to cast that burden on Troy and Tracie [or possibly Debbie] after I've moved on to higher ground!  

Although my backpacking days appear to be over, I can still type!  I'll unpack my life experiences here - on this blog - for anyone who might enjoy picking through my faux pas and adventures!    

WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO BE COOL?

I picked up a forty-something truck driver in Ravenna this week and gave him a Lyft to Austintown.  That gave us a good opportunity to talk.  I ended up telling him a few stories along the way.

He was pretty amazed that I'd hitch-hiked 10,000 miles between 1969 and 1973.  I talk a little about this in my blogger banner.  Most of these miles were between Rochester, New York (where I went to college) and New Brighton, Pennsylvania (my hometown).  My last two years found me making frequent trips home for weekends to be with Debbie.  I also hitch-hiked between Philadelphia and Pittsburgh several times during summers while I was working on a roofing crew and living with my brother.  My new friend was particularly impressed when I talked about sleeping on the side of the road from time-to-time [in that time period, traffic significantly dropped off after dark].

Then I told him about Deb and me moving to Kentucky in 1973.  I drove the U-Haul truck and she followed in our big, old Buick.  I had discovered that I could save money by returning the truck to Cincinnati, so, I loaded my Honda 90 in the back of the truck and headed back to Ohio.  It was my reasoning that I should return the truck with a near empty tank.  Consequently, I ran out of gas four miles from the dealership!  I had to unload the bike and go for gas to finish the trip to the dealership.  Upon arriving, they promptly filled the gas tank and charged me a premium price for the tank of gas!  😯  Then I still had a 100-mile trip back to our new apartment on a Honda 90.

The last story I shared with him was about leaving Roberts Wesleyan College in June, 1971, and driving that same Honda 90 to Willow Grove, Pennsylvania [nearly 350 miles at a top speed of 50 mph].  It took me several days!  I spent my nights in old YMCA's along the route where I was able to get a room for $5-7/night.  The doors had no locks and I shared the bathroom with older men who also roomed there.  I put a chair up against my door each night!  It was creepy!  But I made it - with a very tired and sore behind!

Anyway, when we arrive at his health club and he was getting out of my car, he stuck his head back inside and said, "Harold, you're a cool guy!  You ought to write a book!"  For the record:  I don't get told that I'm cool very often!  😊

THOUGHTS ON TURNING 68

On the occasion of turning sixty-eight, I thought I'd make a few statements and observations.

It feels strange that I've now lived longer than my mother did.  She died two months before attaining this age.

In my whole life, I never once looked forward to turning sixty-eight.  It happened with no fanfare, no cake, no special dinner, no family gathering, no candles, no singing...birthdays change as you get older!  Debbie did present me with a really special card, two new flannel shirts and a bag of chocolates!  My family all sent birthday texts to celebrate the event.  I got a birthday card from my 403b plan;  also one from Debbie's Aunt Bonnie Lou!  My Facebook friends inundated me with greetings!  It took me over two hours to respond to them all...

Thus far, I've faced no age that has presented itself as a crisis age.  I look forward to turning seventy because I'm committed to eating a whole package of Klondike bars that day!  When I turn seventy-five, I plan to eat a whole dozen DeAngelis cream-filled donuts (if they're still open).  

I have distinct liabilities:

• My hearing grows increasingly bad!  It hinders my desire to be with people and even to attend church.
• I no longer sleep well through the night.  An uninterrupted  four-hour-sleep is a welcome thing!
• I've heard my father and siblings speak of arthritis problems for years.  I'm now beginning to experience this unwelcome guest in my shoulders at night - another sleep interruptor.
• Throughout my younger years I loved staying up late at night and getting up early in the morning.  I've finally given up the late-at-night thing.  First, I gave up on late-night comedians.  Next I gave up on 10:00 PM shows - I missed too many endings.  Now, I find myself struggling to make it till 10:00 PM.  9:30 PM seems to be my new bedtime!
• I still get up at 5:30 AM.  Often it's to drive for Lyft, but it's also because I can't take the pain of staying in bed any longer.  Sleeping in is a luxury I no longer enjoy.
• I recently embarked on a renewed effort to lift weights, exercise and walk.  I had to reduce my effort due to lower back pain.

I also have significant blessings:

• I serve a risen Savior and live with the hope of Heaven!
• I have a faithful wife!
• My family loves me!
• I have two incredible grandchildren!
• We own our home.
• The Social Security Administration makes monthly deposits to my bank account!
• The Free Methodist Pension Department does the same!
• For the most part, I enjoy driving for Lyft at least several days a week which further advances my bank account.
• Thanks to Troy (and help from friends and family) we have a wonderful two-car garage!
• We own three vehicles:  2003, 2005, and 2008.
• In addition, we own a cabin at the Tri-State Campground (thanks in part to Travis) and a 2001 fifth-wheel-camper.
• My wonderful, soft bed is pre-warmed all winter by a mattress heater.
• We have a freezer full of food and a well-stocked pantry!
• Our dog seems to really like me.
• The neighbors appear to think I'm okay.
• We go on vacations at least several weeks every year.
• I have friends from MANY different countries!

Did you notice that my blessings outnumber my liabilities?  They really do - by far!  I'm a fortunate and blessed man!  My life isn't as active and engaged as it was even four years ago, but I still have more to be thankful for than I'm capable of reviewing in a brief blog article.  Thanks be to God - let's see what this next year holds.

Will I hit the Appalachian Trail again?

Will we find an opportunity to serve in another country?

Will I finish any of the three books I've started?

Will I volunteer for Samaritan's Purse?

Will we make our much-awaited trip out west?

Stay tuned for the answers...

I FINALLY WAS LOCKED UP!!!!!

I procrastinated and failed to get our 5th wheel camper winterized.  I was worried that the cold weather we surprisingly had over recent weeks might have caused some damage.  Then, the good Lord sent us several days of 50-degree-plus temperatures!  Woo Hoo!  

So, Tuesday morning I pulled the camper from New Middletown to Heron Woods where we could work on it with electric.  My good brother-in-law, Charlie came over to walk me through the process for the second year.  Troy also showed up as my faithful back-up!  In short order, we had the lines flowing with antifreeze!  What a great feeling!  

Debbie wanted to pack some items for our mid-winter trip to Florida, so I let it sit overnight.  After loading lawn chairs, blankets and a few sundry items, I pulled it back to the storage facility.  It was late afternoon and due to a stop at Ace Hardware, I was losing sunlight as I arrived.  The wind was gusting significantly!  

I must have backed it up and pulled it forward over twenty times trying to get it exactly where it is supposed to be!  In-and-out of the truck repeatedly to check distances and line-up!  It goes much faster when I have someone to help!  Finally, I got it where I wanted it.  Then came the unhitching and securing everything before I could leave.

   

When I pulled the truck up to the gate and entered my code - nothing happened!  I entered it repeatedly - with no results.  What in the world?  The mechanism didn't seem to be working...what could be wrong.  Now it's dark and the wind is atrocious!  

As I sat at the closed gate with my headlamps on, another truck pulled up from the outside.  We each got out and walked to the gate.  I told him that I couldn't get the gate to open.  He smiled and said, "I know.  And you're not going to get it to work for a good while!"  

"Why?" I asked.  He then reported that the Salem electric (which powers this stretch of Calla Road) was out!  I felt like a prisoner!  He asked where I lived.  I told him Enon Valley.  He told me that if I could climb the fence, he'd be glad to take me home.  I thanked him and told him that I'd call my wife.  Turns out he was a brother to one of my former parishoners from Free Methodist Community Church in New Middletown!  :-)

I called Deb and she told me she'd leave right away.  I parked the truck and sat in it briefly.  Then, I decided that I'd rather scale the fence with no one watching.  It's an eight foot cyclone fence that I could have climbed easily when I was in my twenties.  Not so easily at sixty-seven.  I hoped no cars would go by and think I was trying to escape after stealing from the storage units.  

First, I was able to pull myself up onto a large steel box that housed the motor for the gate.  From there it became more challenging.  The gate is topped with spikes (think Trump's wall).  The fence itself was topped with razor wire!  There were really no footholds for me to use to get over the top.  I decided to try a point where the gate and fence met.  As I vaulted over the top - trying to get my large foot into the small squares of the fence - something let go and pitched me into the barbed wire!

I was in a PREDICTAMENT!  I had no foothold and was feeling the barbs through my good down jacket and piercing my arm, I had very few choices.  I ripped my arm loose and dropped myself to the ground,  Somehow, in the process my jeans had also been shredded below the knee and were whipping in the wind.  Quite a few cars had gone by during this escapade and I expected the police to arrive at any moment!  I was disgusted, wounded and my self-esteem was flagging significantly!  

Did I mention that it was dark - and the wind was blowing - and the temperature was dropping fast?  It sure seemed to take Deb a long time to get here!  I never imagined that Calla Road had so much traffic on a Wednesday evening!   I must have looked VERY suspicious!

Anyway, she finally arrived and took me home where I nursed my wounds and settled into my chair for the evening.

The evening was uneventful until I crawled into bed.  I take supplements three times a day:  morning, noon and night.  I take them with a full glass of cold spring water from our tap.  I've been known to walk away from the sink leaving the water running.  Once, I did it with the hot water;  when I discovered it - it was running cold!  

Anyway, as I was about to drift into a comfortable, healing sleep, Debbie stepped into the room and asked:  "Do you have the water running in the kitchen for a reason?"  I began to giggle and couldn't answer or stop!  She began to laugh too!  Needless to say, I went to bed happy - in spite of myself!  

MAGNUM OPUS

Back in early March of 1987, I made a purchase from Cambridge University Press for about $26.  It was a loose-leaf, three-ring, wide margin, New International Version Bible!  We were living in East Liverpool, Ohio, at the time and I was five years into a thirteen year appointment.  Travis would have been 11, Troy - 7 and Tracie - 6.  :-)

It's difficult to express how excited I was about this very expensive purchase.  I immediately began reading in it daily and adding notes in those generous wide margins.  I had already established a pattern of reading a book-a-week, so I also transferred notes from books I read into appropriate places in the new Bible.  Pretty quickly, I cut copy paper to the same size as the pages in my Bible and punched appropriate holes so that I could add pages (when needed) for additional notes and observations.  Many of these blank pages were in the front of the Bible where I collated data from each year's read-through of the Bible.  These notes and observations often turned into preaching series.  This Bible became a goldmine and treasure to me and I often thought that if we had a fire, I would grab it after I knew the family was safe!  ;-)

Eventually, I had added so many pages to the binder that it would hardly close!  That was when I found a second binder and split the Old Testament from the New Testament.  Woo Hoo!  Now I had tons of freedom for adding more pages and more notes.  Needless to say, this Bible became an invaluable resource to me in preparing Bible studies and sermons.  I even lugged it along on vacations so I could sustain my daily reading disciplines and not fall behind in my note-taking.  

I am so thankful that I was raised in a home where the Bible was honored and used.  My Mom kept a plastic loaf of bread on our table filled with small cards that held a Bible verse on each side.  At our mealtime, we would each pull a card and read it before our prayer of thanksgiving.  My Mom's Bible was well-used;  she had re-covered it repeatedly and added pockets in the front and back to contain her many prayer lists.  I often caught my Dad reading and studying his Bible in his bedroom.  He regularly taught a Sunday School class and needed to be prepared for that role.  He made notes in his Bible of the texts used by the various preachers he heard.  I'm blessed to have those Bibles in my possession to this day!  

I was raised in a culture that was immersed in God's Word.  I remember memorizing lengthy passages in Sunday School and Christian Youth Crusaders (CYC).  Many of those passages linger in my memory even now!  I was taught by people who loved and lived according to this book:

• Betty Paugh - she made the Bible live for me as a pre-schooler!
• Neil Castilucci
• Paul Funkhouser
• Udele Gallagher
• Jim Rudolph
• Joe Douglas
• Chuck Eckles
• Carl Geissinger  [Notice:  in seventeen years I only had one woman teacher!!!]

Then, I went to Roberts Wesleyan College where I immediately fell under the influence of professors like Stanley Magill, Wes Vanderhoof, and Harry Anderson!  They loomed large to me and fostered a deeper understanding and love in me for God's Word (even in the Greek language)!

Then, after getting married, I began my Masters in Divinity studies at Asbury Theological Seminary.  Living in this Christian and educational community was a great privilege.  Again, professors led me into whole new areas of study and research!  I was mesmerized by the instruction offered by Don Joy, Donald Demaray, Gilbert James, Kenneth Kinghorn, John Oswalt and Harold Kuhn.  

After three years (without having attained my degree) we moved to Jeannette, PA, where I assumed my first, full-time role as pastor.  Within a few years, I realized that I should have completed my studies.  Returning to Kentucky was out-of-the-question, so I enrolled at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary to complete my Divinity degree (part-time) over the next eleven years.  Dr. Donald Gowan and Dr. Charles Partee became major influencers in my life during that period (and Hebrew and Aramaic were added to my growing understanding of the Bible).  

Because our family was growing and I needed help with my role as a husband and father, I turned to radio resources almost daily to grow my knowledge and understanding in those areas.  My teachers were:  James Dobson, Dennis Rainey, John Huffman, John MacArthur, Chuck Smith and Charles Swindoll!  

In addition, I quickly realized that I needed ongoing education to be able to effectively lead the churches I was serving.  I began to consume resources and attend events that featured Ted Engstrom, John Maxwell, Rick Warren, Bill Hybels, Larry Burkett, Dave Ramsay, and Andy Stanley.  I also had laymen who taught and influenced me, including Ron Kelly and Jim Stetler (as well as others).  

Thank You, Lord!

Your faithfulness through the years has been utterly amazing!  There have been SO MANY moments of revelation and so many times of deep inspiration!  So many people have left their fingerprints on my life!  I am not worthy of such grace and attention!  I live with gratitude for the constant persistence of Your Spirit in growing me and developing the capacities that You placed within me!  

You've given me so many amazing opportunities over the years!  You allowed me to lead, teach and shepherd the people at Tunnel Hill (Indiana), Jeannette (PA), McClellandtown (PA), Oakland (East Liverpool, OH), Spencerville (Maryland), Cornerstone (Akron, OH), New Middletown (OH), and Kittanning (PA).  

In addition, You also gave us three years to serve Your purposes in Changchun (Northeast PRC).  We will NEVER forget the many friends we made from many countries during that period of service!  

And, my love for Your Word continues today!  I'm still making notes and observations!  I still delight at the things You teach me and show me on a daily basis!  You have been faithful through Your Holy Spirit to show me incredible connections and to reveal secrets to my heart!  Your Word truly is a lamp for my feet and a light on my path!  

Keep it going, Lord, and may my children and grandchildren benefit directly from the generations of faithful that have laid the foundation for them!  AMEN!

I'M A PROSPEROUS MAN!

I had a lesson that I used when I was teaching in Changchun (PRC).  It was on stereotypes.  I asked my students to start naming characteristics of Americans.  They quickly started responding:

• tall
• humorous
• outgoing
• friendly
• good-looking
• rich
• intelligent
• creative

Then, I asked them where these ideas came from.  It was a humorous moment because I watched some of them look at the list and then look at me - as the lights came on!  They had formed an opinion about Americans based on their knowledge of me and Mrs. Osborne, their freshman 'Oral English' teacher!  Now, no matter how hard I tried to convince them that I was NOT rich, they persisted in believing that I was.  Ha ha ha ha...

Today, however, I suddenly realized that I am, indeed, rich!  I placed a post on Facebook last evening and was surprised when I checked in moments ago at how many people had 'Liked' my post.  I opened the list and read down through the names.  It included people from:

• my high school class
• New Brighton FMC (my home church)
• Oakland Church
• Tri-State Family Camp
• Cornerstone Church
• Freedom Church
• the Ohio Conference (FMC)
• China
• Kittanning Free Methodist Church
• the Pittsburgh Conference (FMC)
• the Whippo family
• the Haire family
• our current neighborhood
• New Springfield Church of God
• and some others who are hard to put in a general category!

Mark Twain said, "No man is a failure who has friends."  [also quoted in IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE].  

No one (except, perhaps, my Chinese students) thinks of me as a wealthy man!  However, I have always thought of myself as a suitable representative of the prosperous man that the Bible talks so much about.  I have a near-daily ritual I go through and I frequently include Debbie in it.  It goes like this:

Lord,

Thank You for my wife who loves me, encourages me and supports me in all my wild ventures!

Thank You for my children and my precious grandchildren!  I love them so!

And thank You for Leonard and Hazel Haire and the hairetage of faith they established for me!

And thank you for my siblings and the blessings they have been in my life!

And thank You for the extended family who have blessed and enriched my life beyond words!

Thank You, Lord for the many teachers who have made investments in my life over the years!  

And thank You for the mentors who modeled excellence and leadership for me!  

And thank You, Lord, for my work and the people You have caused me to intersect with over the years!

And thank You for my home and the fact that it's paid for!  Hallelujah!  (There was a time when I never thought this would be possible!)

And thank You for my cars (some will smile here).

And thank You for all the comforts that we enjoy!

And thank You for an adequate income;  

for a government that provides our Social Security;  

and for the Free Methodist Church and its wisdom in providing for my pension!

[You get the drift...]

Can you see why I consider myself a prosperous man?  Debbie and I are often surprised by the support of those around us who seem to love us and care about us.  When we went to China we were blessed to be financially and prayerfully supported by hundreds of friends and family!  When Travis died, we were overwhelmed by the supportive cards, gifts, and messages that we received.  When we faced various challenges along the way (financial, child-rearing, vocational, physical) we've always been surrounded by people who wanted to help, encourage or bless us!  

And to be quite frank:  I don't deserve any of this!  I'm a VERY average guy who was the fourth-born to a nail-maker and a home-maker.  I grew up in small-town, America, and got 28 C's in my high school career (I know this because it kept me from getting into a Master's degree program later in life).  My coolest cars were:  a '63 Chevy (when I was 16) and a brand new 1974 Mustang II  (when I was 22).  I've never made big wages and never taken extravagant vacations.  Our kids remember camping at Pymatuning as the highlight of our summer (and maybe going to the water-slides)!  I've rarely been the best at anything (although Debbie and I did get a trophy on our honeymoon for being the "Best In The Sack' [sack races - if you don't know what they are, ask a person over 50]).  

You get the drift...

And yet  -  I am surrounded by friends from so many places and environments!  This is clearly a vivid picture of GOD'S AMAZING GRACE!  And I am so thankful for the friends who populate my world!  If you're one of them - please know how much I appreciate the way you've impacted my life!

Thank You, Lord!  You're ALWAYS GOOD!!!!!!     

AT - REFLECTIONS

QUESTIONS:

Do you miss the trail?

Yes, at times I wish I was still hiking.

What was your most exciting experience?

Reaching well-known stopping points like Neel's Gap Hostel, the Nantahala Outdoor Center and Damascus, Virginia.

Did you have any animal encounters?

Just rounding a bend and facing a massive long-horned steer.

How hard was it?

VERY HARD!  The mountains were steep, rocky and never-ending!  It felt like I was constantly going up!

Did you get blisters?

No, but I stopped frequently to duct-tape my feet because I had 'hot spots'.

Did you have sore muscles?

No, but my legs would get very tired.  When I would kneel or lay down I would get cramps in my legs.

What was the weather like? 

I experienced lots of rain, several days of snow, a few days of extremely high winds, a hail-storm, and persistent fog.  About half of the time, I was provided very nice hiking weather.

Did you make new friends?

I made lots of friends, but most lasted only a few days because of differences in hiking speeds.

Did you hike with others or alone?

I hiked alone, except for three days when I traveled with a Colorado friend whose trail name was Teddybear.

Did you acquire a trail name?

No, I did not.  Although most people select their own trail name long before hitting the trail, I followed the original tradition of being named while hiking.  It simply never happened.  Had I stayed on the trail longer, it probably would have eventually occurred.

Will you hike again?

Yes.  I may even do more of the trail this year.

What obstacles did you face?

I ended almost every day completely exhausted!   Quite a few days, I just put my tent up and went straight to sleep - sometimes without even eating.

If you followed my blog then you know I developed hip problems that sent me home for three weeks.

I dealt with loneliness and missed my family A LOT!!

What did you enjoy the most?

The spectacular, panoramic views, most of which can only be experienced by hiking the trail!  I also camped alone several times by a creek;  that was VERY enjoyable!

Did you ever run out of food?

No, but I came close.  I did run out of water one day and that was miserable!

Where did you get your water?

From streams, springs and ponds.  Most backpackers carry a water filter;  some use chemicals to make the water safe to use.

What did you learn about yourself?

That's a BIG question that I'm still reflecting on.  I was surprised at the loneliness factor because I actually looked forward to the trip because of the independence and being alone.  I guess I learned that I need and enjoy my family far more than I initially realized.

I also came to realize that I'm far more dependent on God when I'm backpacking than when I'm home.  I talk to Him more and enjoy His presence more while I'm in the wilderness!

I realize that I'm less outgoing than I used to be.  I tend to stay off by myself rather than engage with others.  I think my hearing disability affects me in this area.

I obviously don't have the rugged, mental toughness that keeps you on the trail from beginning to the end.  The daily exhaustion was wearing me down.  I'm a little embarrassed about this and also a little disappointed in myself.  But, as my good friend David Rose taught me:  "It is what it is."  :-)

A QUICK LOOK OVER MY SHOULDER

Have you ever driven a car without a rear-view mirror?  If you do, you will find yourself continually looking toward that spot but feeling frustration that the ability to see behind you is not available!  We tend to minimize the importance of seeing where we've been.  We attribute the phrase, "the unexamined life is not worth living", to Socrates.  Have you ever paused long enough to think about his suggestion?

You can choose any time to review and evaluate your life. However, for whatever reasons, most of us rarely exercise this practice. The ending of a year seems a natural time for me to take a look over my shoulder.

2017 was a year that frequently popped up on my life-screen over the decades. When I began my work-life, it was predetermined to be the year of my retirement.  I often joked about this because all through the years, it was also predicted to be the first year that the Social Security Department would not have appropriate funding to meet the needs of all the retiring baby-boomers.  I haven't really heard how that's working out, but so far my checks have been deposited on time...

Actually, retirement was never a goal for me.  I know that some look forward to it and plan for it with great enthusiasm;  I just wasn't one of those people. But, as 2017 drew near, I had a sense that the time for me to step aside was arriving.  I've discussed that process before and won't go into it again here.

Anyway, I stepped out of the flow of active ministry at the end of May.  That sets 2017 apart in a significant way.  Needless to say, life has changed in many ways as a result.

My life and thoughts are no longer oriented toward the development of church leaders and church life.  I have literally spent the summer and fall working around our new home:

• landscaping
• putting a yard in
• finishing a garage
• sorting through boxes that haven't been unpacked since leaving for China in 2012
• and sorting through my personal library

We've had the freedom to make more frequent trips to Connecticut to see our grandchildren.  We spent a relaxing week in Banner Elk, North Carolina.  But, by-and-large, we've spent the vast majority of our time at home - working. Debbie continues to cooperate with her siblings in the care of her mother;  as a result, I'm left to my own devices (for 24-hour periods) with a certain degree of predictability.  

Our greatest challenge has been adjusting to and learning to live within the boundaries of our new financial picture!  

Some reading this might think:  "Wow!  Hal's got it made!  He must be really happy now!"  However, that is not necessarily true.  2017 has not been what I would describe as a banner year.  For those who have stayed with me this far, let me try to explain why.

First, (please don't groan when you read this) our loss of Travis (two years ago) effects us globally!  Although we don't talk about it every day, the loss of our son is a drag on our emotions and has dulled us in many ways.  I won't be-labor this point;  I will simply say that any family that has lost a child has had their lives indelibly changed!

Second, I have lost a sense of purpose that kept me focused and hopeful.  I am a driven person!  I have lived with great expectations.  I work hard to achieve goals.  I love to motivate people and move them collectively toward a new future!  This has captivated me for four decades!  Now, it is gone.

I am not surprised by this reality.  I had read a number of books to prepare myself for retirement.  I did not make this major move with a blindfold on.  I knew that working around our new home would become my new focus through the fall.  I also knew that preparing to hike the Appalachian Trail (in 2018) would give me a winter focal point.  Yet still, something is different - or missing...

Those who are wiser than me may quickly discern what it is.  It's taking me some time to decipher.  Here's what I'm coming up with:

I have moved from a ministry-centered life to a self-centered life!  My contact with people and my investment in others has shriveled over the last seven months!  I've moved from impacting people and directing the dreams of a congregation to moving dirt, planting shrubs and tinkering in my garage or barn.  And next, I'm about to embark on a self-absorbed backpacking trip that will consume (if I'm able to do it) half of 2018.

The world's thinking is that self-absorption should produce great satisfaction and pleasure - right?  Wrong!  When we withdraw to "do our own thing", the key word is WITHDRAW!  Our lives have the greatest value and satisfaction when we integrate with others and engage with our world!  I knew this.  I know this.

We stand at the outset of a new year.  We are free people and live in a free nation.  We can choose how we will deploy ourselves in 2018.

I still plan on fulfilling my dream and putting my feet on the AT in early March!  Keep in mind that nearly 4,000 began this attempt in 2017;  just over 600 actually completed it.  It's a VERY social trail!  All parts of the trail are populated with section hikers and day hikers as well as thru hikers!  I will not be alone during this trek!

But this still leaves some questions:

• Will I be purposeful in my AT adventure?
• How will I regain a sense of purpose and direction upon my return?
• How can I fulfill my role as a servant of Christ in this new phase of life?
• How will I use my influence to impact the lives of others?  
• How will I avoid the perils of self-absorbtion?  

When I was a teenager, our youth director suggested that I sing my first solo one Sunday night.  Martha Smeltzer worked patiently with me, helping me to prepare my musical gift.  I sang these words:

Only one life to offer 

Jesus my Lord and King 

Only one tongue to praise Thee 

And of Thy mercy sing (forever) 

Only one heart's devotion 

Savior,  O may it be consecrated 

Alone to Thy matchless glory 

Yielded fully to Thee

Only one life to offer 

Take it dear Lord I pray 

Nothing from Thee withholding 

Thy will I now obey (my Jesus) 

Thou who hast freely given 

Thine all in all for me 

Claim this life for Thine own to be used 

My Savior ev'ry moment for Thee

Fifty years later, I still want it to be the cry of my heart!  How about you?

Feeling Grateful

Yesterday, since it was rainy and I couldn't work outside, I decided to drive up to my brother's house in northcentral Pennsylvania.  He's downsizing and offered me his riding mower.  So, I hitched up my little flatbed trailer and headed off in the late morning.

It's a four-and-a-half-hour trip;  I arrived at 3:00 PM.  Joyce had a nice lunch for me and we sat and talked for a while.  Then Ira and I went out to load the mower and tie it down.  They invited me to spend the night and the better part of wisdom said I should do that;  however I took off a little after five o'clock.  

By the time I reached route 80, it was already dark.  It made for a long, lonely trip.  In spite of having the trailer loaded, I was still able to roll along with traffic at 70 miles-per-hour.  I expected to arrive home a little after 10:00 PM, watch some TV and go to bed.  That's NOT the way it happened.

Around 8:45, as I was accelerating up an incline, my Xterra began to shudder.  I couldn't tell if I had a flat on the vehicle or the trailer.  I immediately slowed down but did not pull off.  The Emlenton exit was coming up and I hoped to make it.  I did.  

There was a truck stop there!  Yay!  I pulled under some lights and disconnected the trailer so I could locate the sound.  It was definitely coming from the car.  I crawled under the car with my flashlight and checked the tie-rods and springs.  Everything looked good.  I gripped each wheel and they all seemed tight.  

I  notified the people inside that I would be sleeping in my vehicle.  After calling Debbie, I hunkered down to spend a long night in the Xterra.  UNCOMFORTABLE!!  And rather chilly!  I forced myself to stay put until 6:00 AM.  Then I went inside for breakfast.

After talking with some locals, I discovered that there was a repair shop across the street!  :-)   I pulled over and waited for them to arrive;  they opened at 8:30 AM.  

The owner was more than happy to take it for a short ride.  He then pulled it inside and jacked up the front right.  The wheel wobbled significantly!   Two lug bolts had sheared off!  Two other lug nuts had fallen off along the way.  Of the remaining two, one was loose.  

Now mind you, I had been rolling along at 70 mph with one lug nut holding my tire on!!!!!    See why I'm feeling grateful?   

Psalm 46:1  
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

POST SCRIPT

My Mom had a peculiar way of thinking about things.  I suppose it emerged from her Reformed Presbyterian upbringing.  She strongly believed in God's protection!  I can't tell you how many times, when we were traveling, that she would see an accident and say something like:  "Leonard, if we hadn't ______________  [fill in the blank:  gotten that long light, or stopped for iced cream, or left a little late...] we might have been involved in that accident."   I'm sure that each of my siblings would smile at this explanation;  they all heard it as often as I did!  

I thought of Mom this morning after my car was fixed and I was back on route 80 - again going 70 mph!  A few miles down the road there was evidence of a MAJOR accident:  deep black skid marks for several hundred feet and crumpled guard rails for an equal distance.

You know what leaped to my mind?

If I hadn't pulled off last night because of my problem...

;-)  

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

I woke up one morning in 1987, and noticed that my hearing was different. Throughout the morning I had a crackling sensation in my left ear, and by noon I couldn't hear at all.  I went to my doctor who sent me to an ear specialist.  I eventually had surgery to see if it was anything that could be repaired.  The doctor explained afterward that I simply had a condition referred to as 'nerve deafness'.  From that time onward, I have had a 100% hearing loss on my left side.

But to be honest with you, it hasn't bothered me that much.  Many people actually have this same handicap.  At that time, the hearing in my right ear was excellent.  So, life became a process of positioning myself (and others) to facilitate my hearing.  Debbie learned to always sit or walk on my right side.  I became adept at keeping people on my right side.

I had a friend while we lived in Maryland.  Al was always difficult for me to talk with.  I would get him where I needed him to be and then he would move. Talking with Al was like dancing...   When I invited him and a group of men to my home one night, I positioned myself so that everyone would be on my right;  Al took my seat!  I confronted him humorously about doing so.  That was the night that I discovered that he was also deaf on his left side!  The only way we could talk was to stand or sit face-to-face!   :-)

In short, things went well for the next two decades.  Many people didn't even know about my disability.

But then, the hearing in my right ear began to decline.  This presented me with problems.  By the time we went to China (2012), it had become rather pronounced.  My students learned to only approach me on my right side.  I struggled in my teaching role to hear my students.  When the need for proper pronunciation is center-ground, not-being-able-to-hear is a major issue!

I even stopped backpacking for a number of years because it was unnerving to be in the deep woods and not be able to tell where sound was coming from. On one week-long trip, I took my dog, Collar, with me;  I could watch him for cues and it gave me a sense of security.

One summer, while we were visiting the U.S., I received a used hearing aid from a friend.  It even had a receiver piece for my left ear that sent a radio signal to my right ear - supposedly giving me hearing ability on both sides. After some adjustments by a hearing specialist, it was a blessing and did help some.  I wore it for over two years until Debbie pursuaded me to go be fitted for my own personal hearing device.

Over $4,000 later, I was wearing an up-to-date, high-tech, very small hearing aid.

I still struggled to hear.  I have been back repeatedly for cleanings and adjustments, but I still struggle in most environments.

This reality has changed me - BIG TIME!

I am becoming increasingly socially adverse.  So many situations place me in an uncomfortable situation.  I find myself frequently in dilemmas where I'm pretending that I can hear.  I hate that!

Just last week, Debbie and I pulled into Freedom Church's lot for the annual car show.  As I parked, I mentioned to Debbie that my anxiety level was skyrocketing.  She tried to convince me that I would be among friends and people who loved me.  However, that is little comfort when you know you're going to repeatedly be in stressful situations because of your hearing deficit!

I find myself withdrawing more-and-more because of my hearing.  I am far less social than I used to be.  I am uncomfortable at church where I struggle to hear and understand what's being said from the platform.  I struggle in social events where many people are gathered and the collateral noise-level is high! I even have difficulty when speaking on the phone with people who talk really fast.

One huge aid is the ability to see a person's lips.  Between my limited hearing and the ability to see the speaker clearly, I can often figure out what's being said.

I don't like the changes this has brought about in my life!  It was certainly a factor in my premature retirement.  I miss the easy exchange of information that used to take place.  Now, I miss so much that it makes me wonder whether it's worth going places.  I particularly feel sorry for Debbie for having to repeat 80% of what she says to me!

HOWEVER, in the midst of this small difficulty, I am grateful.  I CAN still hear.  I bought a streamer for our television that feeds directly to my hearing aid!  Now I can watch TV without blasting Debbie and our neighbors!  I even brought it on vacation with us!  I still enjoy music.

My disability is minor compared to what so many people deal with!  My heart aches for people with real woes like:

• The people in Houston, Florida, the Virgin Islands, and Puerto Rico who have lost everything!
• Those mourning lost loved ones, jobs and homes in Mexico.
• Veterans who have lost limbs and other functions as a result of their military involvements.
• People who are struggling with cancer and other life-threatening diseases.
• Those with blindness, deafness or other disabilities from birth or early on in life.
• Those in Third World countries who live on less than a dollar a day and wonder where their next meal will come from.
• Those who are unjustly imprisoned with little-or-no hope of relief. 
• Those caught in extreme poverty or abuse with no power or connections of hope.

My challenge is simply that - a challenge.  It makes life a LITTLE harder.  I remain deeply grateful to God for ALL that He has done (and is doing) for me! His kindness is overwhelming! I will continue to praise Him and lean on His daily help to be all that I can be for His glory!  

First Funeral

I received my call to ministry while I was a senior in high school.  I had just turned seventeen.  My pastor was C. D. Weinel.  He was not a friendly man, but he was an effective pastor.  During his tenure, he initiated a 'Rap Session' with the youth (it was the sixties).  We were invited into his office on Wednesday evenings where we could ask questions and talk about anything on our minds.  He promised us that he would never divulge anything we said to our parents.  We trusted him!

He started me on the path to ministry by helping me to take my first official step, which was receiving an 'Exhorter's License'.  This was approved by the Official Board of our church.  He gave me small responsibilities to begin to grow me in my anticipation of a bigger role someday.

One day he called me and told me he'd like me to help him with a funeral on Saturday.  He told me to meet him at the Grove Cemetery at 10:00 AM.  He said that I should wear a suit and bring a Bible with a selection to read.  I chose Psalm 23, and practiced reading it several times.

When I arrived at the cemetery, I was surprised to find Rev. Weinel and two men from the funeral home.

I later learned that the city of New Brighton had a policy for when an indigent person died.  Each local pastor was asked to do one of these services in turn.  It was Rev. Weinel's turn and he felt it was an appropriate opportunity for me to get some much needed experience.

The four of us approached the burial plot.  The two men from the funeral home stood respectfully. Rev. Weinel began a very simple service and at the appropriate time turned to me for the scripture. As I stood at the edge of the open burial plot and read Psalm 23, I was overwhelmed with a sense of responsibility for creating a sacred moment for this person I had never met and knew nothing about. I read with as much passion as I could muster.

In a little over five minutes the service had ended and the burial team approached to begin their duties.  We stood and talked with the men from the funeral home briefly and then returned to our cars to resume our normal Saturday activities.

But forty-eight years later, I still remember the awesome sense of responsibility that comes with putting a period at the end of a person's life! Throughout the years I have worked hard on funeral preparations.  My goal has been to honor the many dimensions of a person's life and to challenge those present to live their lives with the end goal of Heaven prominently in view!

In retrospect, I'm also thankful for a pastor who, although he didn't naturally connect with teenagers, still made a distinct effort to create a forum for us to learn, trust and grow!

Valley Avenue

Sled-riding was something I absolutely loved to do when I was young!  That was the pre-plastic era.  Sleds were made of wood and attached to steel runners that we would rub with steel wool and candles to make them go faster!  Occasionally, someone would show up with a four-man toboggan; usually six kids replaced the four men!  :-)

Before I could leave the house, my mother would help me to dress for the occasion.  [Think the scene from THE CHRISTMAS STORY.]

She bundled me up with layers and wrapped me in a long scarf.  She pinned my mittens to the sleeves of my coat!  Then came a stocking cap before the hood of my coat was tied tightly under my chin!  I think I was the only kid who was sweating while sled-riding!

I would then meet a couple of friends down at the Honor Roll on Mercer Road and together we would walk the short distance to the top of Valley Avenue.

Now, Valley Avenue was a fairly steep road with a stop sign at its top.  It also intersected Mercer Road on a curve.  This made it an extremely dangerous intersection when there was snow on the ground.  So, our city leaders saw fit to close this road during bad weather periods.  Road-blocks were put in place with oil pots to alert traffic that the road was closed.

During these times, kids claimed Valley Avenue as our official sled-riding hill! Half-way down Valley Avenue, the road leveled off (just beneath the New Brighton football field).  Most single-sledders gradually came to a stop on this section, and would make the slow return to the top - pulling their sled!

However, we became adept at loading two or three kids on a sled.  This enabled us to gain enough speed and momentum to pass through the flat section and enjoy the next down-slope to the bottom of Valley Avenue!  I'm guessing it was the equivalent of almost a mile of sledding!

Of course, that meant a LONG walk back up the hill - pulling our sleds!  Ugh!

On days when school was cancelled, we would sled-ride literally all day long! It seemed that only our hands and feet got cold.  We warmed our hands over the oil-pots - which didn't make our mittens smell very good. Cold feet and hunger would generally be the things that eventually drove us home.

Those were fun days with the kids from Crescent Heights, Brighton Heights and Oak Hill all joining together in good, wholesome fun. I remember very little conflict or bullying.  Everyone was thrilled to be out of school and free to have fun in the snow!

Road care is better now and I don't think they close Valley Avenue anymore. Too bad!  The neighborhood kids have no idea what a thrill they're missing out on!  

Cool Sunglasses

I started wearing glasses when I was eleven!  It was wonderful to be able to see!  I remember telling my Mom on the way home from Dr. Phillip's office that I could see the individual leaves on the trees!  Everything was so clear and amazing!  I must have improved in my schoolwork as a result!

I got the occasional "four eyes" comments.  It really didn't bother me because, after all, I could SEE!  I put them on when I crawled out of bed and took them off when I crawled back in.  I washed them when I showered and from time-to-time broke them.

My eye doctor was also our across-the-street-neighbor.  That was pretty cool because if a new pair of glasses didn't quite fit right, Doc Phillips would hold them down in his toaster and bend them a bit until they fit properly!  :-)

However, I quickly learned that the biggest drawback from wearing glasses was that you can't wear cool sunglasses!  Bummer!

I tried everything!  Remember those thin, plastic sunglasses that you slip behind your glasses.  Bah!  Then there were the famous 'clip-ons'.  Boo!

At one point, I paid to have an older pair of prescription glasses coated to become a pair of sunglasses.  It worked, but 'Not cool!'

Finally, when I left home and was working for a roofing company in Philadelphia, I sprung for a pair of wire-rimmed, hexagonal, prescription sunglasses!  Now they were cool!  Think John Lennon cool!

I wore them for years until one day when I was driving along in my '63 Chevy, I turned to look out my window - and (you guessed it) they blew off my face and were mangled beyond repair!  So sad!

Then, in the 90's, they started making contacts for people with astigmatism! Woo Hoo!  I went to Pittsburgh to be fitted for my first pair of contacts.  It took a while for me to learn to insert them, but I got it.  Wala!  I was, for the first time since I was eleven, able to go out and buy a cool pair of sunglasses! Sweet!  I loved it!

But after a couple of years, the contacts just weren't working out.  I don't remember too many details, but I quit wearing them altogether. Awwwwww...

The years rolled by before my Walmart eye doctor told me that I had cataracts growing on both eyes. Shock!  Cataracts?  Are you kidding?  That's something that old people deal with!  He comforted me with the words: "They're not big enough to do anything about yet."  Very comforting!

Each annual visit he would give me an update on their size.  Then, we went to China for a year.  A year became two.  My vision deteriorated quickly!  It's probably a good thing I wasn't driving in China!  I was starting to have vision problems even in my classroom work!

So, I contacted Deb's sister, Cathy, and had her set up an appointment with a cataract specialist in Boardman, Ohio for July (when we would be home for six weeks).  She agreed to see me and try to get both surgeries in during our window of opportunity.

Having cataracts removed was, for me, like a miracle!  I immediately had 20/20 vision and have maintained it for the several years since the surgery! Wow!  I have young man's eyes!

AND, I get to wear cool sunglasses for the rest of my life!  Don't you just love happy endings?