THE HARDEST PART OF GROWING OLD

I recently wrote about my years of leading the Oakland Free Methodist Church.  They were stressful years for many reasons.  The pursuit of my educational goals was one of those reasons.  After finally completing my Master of Divinity degree, I decided to go a big step further to acquire a master's degree in counseling.  I was accepted at the Franciscan University of Steubenville and began attending classes in the fall of 1990.

Our class was relatively small with perhaps twenty students - almost all of which were considerably younger than me. Attending a charismatic Catholic University was a stretch for me.  No one there had ever heard of the Free Methodist Church.  Making connections was a challenge. 

However, this one fellow and I clicked.  His name was Ed Andrade.  He was a handsome, charming, friendly guy who immediately accepted me and became my friend!  Ed was a 'people person' to the 'Nth' degree.  Everybody loved and admired him.  His primary gifts were in loving and accepting people and doing all that he could do to move them along on their journey.  

Ed immediately gave me a 'comfort zone' from which to operate. I went by Harold in those days; I loved the way Ed said my name, somehow he managed to stick a 'w' into it!  😉  My other classmates were also friendly and accepting of me. I became close to several of them as well, and they made my journey quite enjoyable.

A big part of our bond emerged from our common love for God and desire to be godly men!  I felt that - in Ed - I had found a truly godly brother!  I loved every minute that we had together.  I was in their apartment many times during those two years.  

Ed and I deepened our friendship by getting our spouses together also.  They came to our home in East Liverpool several times.  Our kids were young teens about that time.  Ed and Holly were expecting their first.  We socialized on a number of occasions and even attended Kolbe's christening.  

I remember a Sunday that Ed and Holly came to visit us in the afternoon.  When it came time for me to head to church for our evening service, we invited them to come along.  They did.  At the end of the service, I introduced Ed and invited him to give the closing prayer for our service.  In the Free Methodist Church, we are considerably less formal than you would find in a Catholic Church.  I think I shook Ed with my request, but he stood and offered a beautiful prayer from his heart - which was the only way he knew to pray!

For a while, we shared office space with one of our professors as each of us considered opening a counseling office.  Ed's skills were matched to his ability to make quick, deep connections with people!  

But, after our graduation our paths took us in different directions.  In 1995, Debbie and I moved our family to Maryland for several years.  Ed and Holly grew their family and eventually ended up living in Florida.  

One of the deep regrets of my life will always be that I didn't cling to this friendship!  Ed had become a true Christian brother and had helped me negotiate those challenging years.  

All of my classmates and several of my professors encouraged and helped me during that span of two years.  I was struggling with my call to ministry and seriously considering other avenues to pursue.  My depressive experiences were peaking during this time and Franciscan University became a nurturing and accepting environment for me.  I will be forever grateful for the small group interactions, the lunchtime dialogues, the encouragement received from several of our professors and the rich experience of sharing the mass with my new friends!  

Thank you to all of you for accepting me and befriending me!  My life's journey has been deeply enriched by your impact!

I received news this morning that my dear friend, Ed Andrade, has passed into the everlasting arms of Jesus!  My sadness is beyond describing!  My regret over not maintaining this friendship will travel with me!  Friendships like Ed and I enjoyed are rare.  I should have recognized that and worked harder at staying connected.  I would have been richer for it!  My tears flow freely and my sadness for Ed's family is overwhelming!  This was a good, good man!  

But the comfort we have as followers of Christ is the knowledge that we shall be together again - FOR ALL ETERNITY!  

May God be forever praised and may Holly and Ed's beautiful family be comforted by the Holy Spirit during these hard, hard days.  

PARISHONER AND FRIEND

I probably met Jim Heldreth on the grounds of the Tri-State Campground [a lot of people knew him as Jack].  He was a strong supporter of the camp through the years.  He was about ten years younger than my parents, but thirty years older than me.  He and my father served on many Rochester District and Pittsburgh Conference committees together.

Jim was a trustee at Roberts Wesleyan College for many years and was highly regarded for his service there.  While I was a student in the early 1970's, he looked me up on a couple of occasions for a brief visit - always ending with the question:  "Harold, how are you doing spiritually?"  

Not many people asked that question and I appreciated his concern for my spiritual well-being.  

Little did either of us know that in a little more than ten years, I would be appointed to be his pastor at the Oakland Free Methodist Church in East Liverpool, Ohio (1982).  

Jim had some characteristics that I'll now try to describe:

• He was a deeper thinker than most.
• He often saw things from a perspective that was unique to him.
• He 'noodled' on things for long periods before establishing an opinion.
• When he established an opinion, he held to it tenaciously.
• He was not an emotional man but held to his beliefs as precious!
• He was a very handsome man and could be very charming (which I'm sure contributed to his success as a salesman).  
• He lived according to principles that he had discerned and never broke them.

I recall a story he told me of finding a quarter along the road in front of his 'growing-up' home.  He ran with it to his father holding it out with excitement.  His father asked Jim if the quarter was his.  He explained that he had found it.  But his father asked again if it was his quarter.  Jim answered, "No."  His father responded, "Then put it back where you found it."  

Jim's past was important to him.  He continued to own the original homestead property for many years.  He took me along on trips to West Virginia several times to visit that old home and property.  It was well-hidden in the cracks and valleys on back roads that could hardly be called roads.  Yet Jim still knew and talked with all his 'neighbors'.  I enjoyed those road-trips together.  He was a different man there.

He challenged me frequently and was not timid to let me know when I had disappointed him or when he disagreed with me.  Most of the time, he seemed to think I was a pretty solid preacher.  😊  But there were other times that he held my feet to the fire.  

During the thirteen years I served as his pastor, the American church was going through a rapid series of changes.  These were replicated in the Oakland Church.  I found myself in the tenuous position of trying to maintain a balance between a fairly established group of older believers (who had built the current building and were strong supporters of the church financially and with their attendance) and a group of younger, more charismatic believers who had a bigger, more aggressive vision.

As the church grew and changed - ultimately becoming a church of well over two hundred, my relationship with Jim seemed to stumble.  He never withdrew from me, but our closeness diminished.  I always regretted that. 

When I was part of the Promise Keeper's movement in the 1990's, I received a teaching from Howard Hendricks that I agreed with:

“Every disciple needs three types of relationships in his life. He needs a 'Paul' who can mentor him and challenge him. He needs a 'Barnabas' who can come along side and encourage him. And he needs a 'Timothy,' someone that he can pour his life into.”

Jim Heldreth was my Paul for a season and I appreciate the investment he made in me! 


OBITUARY

May 30, 2020

James Jackson Heldreth, 98, of Chester, WV, formally of East Liverpool, OH passed away peacefully on Thursday, May 28, 2020 at East Liverpool City Hospital.

James was born on December 24, 1921 in Smithfield, WV the son of the late Wilbert C and Ethel (Dye) Heldreth.  James joined the US Marine Corps during World War II and served in the South Pacific.    He graduated from Chesbrough Seminary, which is now Roberts Wesleyan College in Rochester, New York.  Later he served for 18 years on Roberts Board of Trustees and upon resigning was elected into the Alumni Hall of Fame.  James was employed by Chrysler Corporation, Ferro Corporation and Endicott Church Furniture Inc. of Winona Lake, Indiana, where he worked  as a Sales Counselor  until he retired in 1983.   James was a member of the Free Methodist Church since 1933 and at Oakland Free Methodist Church in East Liverpool since 1941.  The college and church were his main interest in life.

James was preceded in death on March 2, 2006 by his wife, Anna, whom he married on March 14, 1941.

James is survived by one brother, Charles Heldreth of Columbiana, OH and many nieces, nephews, and cousins

MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY

Community Thanksgiving services were part of my childhood.  In the early 1960's they were held at 10:00 AM on Thanksgiving Day.  They moved from one church to another as the years unfolded.  It could not have been convenient for the women who were trying to prepare feasts for their families.  I remember a couple of years that just my father and I attended.  We would worship that day with many of our neighbors, expressing our gratitude to God for His blessings and gifts!  Depending on what church was the host, we would experience different styles of worship.  I was always quite impressed with the pipe organs in a few of the churches - so majestic.  Their swells of tympanic music seemed to carry our thanksgiving hymns to the heavens in a far more appropriate manner than at other times.
The corporate reading of scripture was an expression of our unity.  The responsive readings caused us to breathe in unison.  The hearty exchange of greetings on a national day of giving thanks to God was filled with meaning and sincerity!  I remember clearly being moved by these experiences!

Over the years I always chose to participate with the local ministerial groups that represented the communities where I served churches.  I've helped plan the unity services and along with my people have also hosted them on many occasions.  I always tried to make them as special as I could.  Typically the communities observed three times of combined focus:  Thanksgiving, Holy Week and the National Day of Prayer.  Few communities still share these times of emphasis.

This year, Debbie and I attended the Mohawk Area Church Association Community Thanksgiving service at the Westfield Presbyterian Church.  It was held on Sunday evening.  I enjoyed the experience immensely!  It included a community choir of sixty members who gave us three musical treatises that lifted our spirits.  A local group of capable musicians - called Edelweiss - accompanied the choir (along with a drummer);  they also provided pre-worship music that helped focus our thoughts.  The Westfield Faithful Bells presented two magical bell songs that thrilled us with their skill and passion.  A very young lady sang "The Lord's Prayer".  A middle-aged man with an amazing tenor voice sang "Bless This House".  The hymns we sang (with pipe organ accompaniment) gave voice to words that many of us have sung for decades!  It was all very familiar - which can be a good thing, right?

The scripture readings were appropriate and the message was stimulating.  Host (Interim) Pastor Chris Carlson challenged us with inspiring thoughts.  I was particularly moved by his comments (based on Deuteronomy 26:1-12) about giving of the first fruits.  He pointed out that this instruction from God caused the people to act in faith!  They were to give the first fruits of their crops as an offering to the Lord.  They were to give these first fruits without any assurance that the rest of their crops would come with abundance or in good condition.  They were to exercise their faith by putting God first!  We were challenged to do the same!

All in all, the service was wonderful and was attended by a fair group from at least ten different congregations.  We were Methodist, Presbyterians, Catholics, Baptists, Covenenters, and probably a few others;  but Sunday night we were all just people who are grateful to God for His many kindnesses!  I was blessed!  I am blessed!

Personally, I have much to be grateful for!

•   Though deaf in one ear, with the help of hearing aids I can hear.
•   Though I had a torn retina in my right eye about seventeen years ago, I can see with that eye.  Every time I have an eye exam the doctor marvels that the eye still works!
•   I enjoy amazing good health;  typical, age-appropriate aches and pains, but strength and health abound!
•   God faithfully meets all our needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus!  Debbie and I love our retirement home.  After many years of living in parsonages, we can now put a nail in the wall anywhere we want to!  :-)  His provisions through the Social Security system and the Free Methodist pension program allow us to meet all our monthly needs.  We are abundantly blessed with material possessions!
•   We have friends from literally many nations around the world!  Living for three years with the Changchun University International students built a base of friendships with students from China, Russia, Mongolia, Viet Nam, Korea, the Philippines, Pakistan, Kazakhstan, Uzbekastan, Ukraine, Myanmar, Thailand, India, Cambodia, South Africa, the Democratic Republic of Congo, Togo, and others.  We still keep in communication with many of these friends!  
•   We have family connections that are deeply meaningful to us!  Deb's family have been a support system for us through the years.  Her siblings are integral to  our lives!  My family has also always been a blessing to us.  We gathered recently for a weekend to make apple butter together.  What a wonderful time we had!
•   We have our children and our precious grandchildren (along with an awesome daughter-in-law and two incredible sons-in-law)!  They mean the world to us!  Our time with them is the most treasured thing we have on this earth!  We live for those moments!
•   We have our faith!  The most intimate thing Debbie and I do together is to pray!  Often it's done late at night or early in the morning as we lay with our arms around each other.  We enjoy sharing our faith with our family, our church and others!  It clearly gives purpose and direction to our lives!
•   And we have each other!  Today, our Thanksgiving meal included turkey, stuffing, corn, sweet potato cassarole, cranberry salad, and mashed potatos.  Later, we'll have some of Debbie's 'blue-ribbon' apple pie!  For the first time in forty-six years it was just the two of us at the table!  And that's okay.  I love her and she loves me.  We love being together!  She's God's greatest blessing to my life!  

So, we're thankful!  Truly thankful!  We came from godly homes and have replicated - by God's grace - that faith into the homes of our children!  What more could we ask for?  

Thank You, Father,

for the grace and mercy You've extended in our direction!

Thank You for filling our cups so full!

Help us to faithfully live to Your honor!

Help us to make a difference in our world!

Help us to love people with abandon!

Help us to be generous!

For Jesus' sake.

Amen.

I'M A PROSPEROUS MAN!

I had a lesson that I used when I was teaching in Changchun (PRC).  It was on stereotypes.  I asked my students to start naming characteristics of Americans.  They quickly started responding:

• tall
• humorous
• outgoing
• friendly
• good-looking
• rich
• intelligent
• creative

Then, I asked them where these ideas came from.  It was a humorous moment because I watched some of them look at the list and then look at me - as the lights came on!  They had formed an opinion about Americans based on their knowledge of me and Mrs. Osborne, their freshman 'Oral English' teacher!  Now, no matter how hard I tried to convince them that I was NOT rich, they persisted in believing that I was.  Ha ha ha ha...

Today, however, I suddenly realized that I am, indeed, rich!  I placed a post on Facebook last evening and was surprised when I checked in moments ago at how many people had 'Liked' my post.  I opened the list and read down through the names.  It included people from:

• my high school class
• New Brighton FMC (my home church)
• Oakland Church
• Tri-State Family Camp
• Cornerstone Church
• Freedom Church
• the Ohio Conference (FMC)
• China
• Kittanning Free Methodist Church
• the Pittsburgh Conference (FMC)
• the Whippo family
• the Haire family
• our current neighborhood
• New Springfield Church of God
• and some others who are hard to put in a general category!

Mark Twain said, "No man is a failure who has friends."  [also quoted in IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE].  

No one (except, perhaps, my Chinese students) thinks of me as a wealthy man!  However, I have always thought of myself as a suitable representative of the prosperous man that the Bible talks so much about.  I have a near-daily ritual I go through and I frequently include Debbie in it.  It goes like this:

Lord,

Thank You for my wife who loves me, encourages me and supports me in all my wild ventures!

Thank You for my children and my precious grandchildren!  I love them so!

And thank You for Leonard and Hazel Haire and the hairetage of faith they established for me!

And thank you for my siblings and the blessings they have been in my life!

And thank You for the extended family who have blessed and enriched my life beyond words!

Thank You, Lord for the many teachers who have made investments in my life over the years!  

And thank You for the mentors who modeled excellence and leadership for me!  

And thank You, Lord, for my work and the people You have caused me to intersect with over the years!

And thank You for my home and the fact that it's paid for!  Hallelujah!  (There was a time when I never thought this would be possible!)

And thank You for my cars (some will smile here).

And thank You for all the comforts that we enjoy!

And thank You for an adequate income;  

for a government that provides our Social Security;  

and for the Free Methodist Church and its wisdom in providing for my pension!

[You get the drift...]

Can you see why I consider myself a prosperous man?  Debbie and I are often surprised by the support of those around us who seem to love us and care about us.  When we went to China we were blessed to be financially and prayerfully supported by hundreds of friends and family!  When Travis died, we were overwhelmed by the supportive cards, gifts, and messages that we received.  When we faced various challenges along the way (financial, child-rearing, vocational, physical) we've always been surrounded by people who wanted to help, encourage or bless us!  

And to be quite frank:  I don't deserve any of this!  I'm a VERY average guy who was the fourth-born to a nail-maker and a home-maker.  I grew up in small-town, America, and got 28 C's in my high school career (I know this because it kept me from getting into a Master's degree program later in life).  My coolest cars were:  a '63 Chevy (when I was 16) and a brand new 1974 Mustang II  (when I was 22).  I've never made big wages and never taken extravagant vacations.  Our kids remember camping at Pymatuning as the highlight of our summer (and maybe going to the water-slides)!  I've rarely been the best at anything (although Debbie and I did get a trophy on our honeymoon for being the "Best In The Sack' [sack races - if you don't know what they are, ask a person over 50]).  

You get the drift...

And yet  -  I am surrounded by friends from so many places and environments!  This is clearly a vivid picture of GOD'S AMAZING GRACE!  And I am so thankful for the friends who populate my world!  If you're one of them - please know how much I appreciate the way you've impacted my life!

Thank You, Lord!  You're ALWAYS GOOD!!!!!!     

BEST FRIEND

I don't have a clear memory of when our friendship began, but it was probably in first grade.  He lived on Crescent Heights and I lived on Brighton Heights.  Mercer Road separated our communities.  The Honor Roll bus stop picked up the kids from both communities.  That's where most of our days began.  We'd play 'tag' or find something to throw back and forth until the bus came.  We used to sing a lot on the bus - I remember singing the United States Marine Corps Hymn;  after all, we were all baby-boomers in a post-war era!  But, of course, we also sang "100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall", "She'll Be Coming Around the Mountain" and "This Old Man, He Played One".  And on the last day of school we belted out "School's Out" until we got off the bus nearly hoarse from yelling "no more teachers' dirty looks!"  

But life really began when we left the bus stop.  We headed to our respective homes with a perpetual plan to re-meet at the Honor Roll in fifteen minutes.  Together we would head out Mercer Road to meet up with John (Hovancik) and Larry (Householder) to play either basketball or (more likely) football.  Our favorite version was "Razzle-Dazzle-Drops" where the ball went to the other team with an incomplete pass at the place of infraction.  It was usually me and Bob (Creese) against Larry and John (although we did occasionally mix it up).  This would go on until one of us had to go home for supper which would sadly end our day.

Bob and I literally spent hundreds of hours playing basketball in his back yard where he had a tiny court.  We were competitive, but he was always the better player and usually won.  Sometimes on hot summer days we'd play Monopoly where the games would literally last for days.  

Bob was my best friend for as long as I can remember.  We spent so much time together.  On rainy or winter days we would explore his attic behind the walls where we felt like true adventurers.  Or, we'd play ping-pong in my basement.  We invented games to play.  For a while we found a pulley in the rafter of our basement and hooked a rope to it.  We tied something to the end of the rope and then one of us would lie of the floor while the other dropped the weight and tried to make the other flinch!  No one ever lost an eye!  

We slept over at one another's house;  sometimes all four of us!  In the summer we had 'sleep-outs'.  We'd put up an old wall tent we'd found in our basement and roll out our sleeping bags.  Once we were pretty sure my parents were asleep, we'd wander around the neighborhood.  A few times we walked out Mercer Road to 'Stop-N-Sock' to pick up some golf balls.  One time we walked naked and then would dive for cover if a rare car came along!  The thrill of the risk made us giggle and laugh out of sheer fear of being caught.

In the winter we would lob snowballs down on cars from the hillside on the Brighton Heights side.  It may sound like we were bad boys, but I think we were pretty normal.  Neither of us ever did anything to harm anyone or their property.  Call us "mischievous", but not delinquents.   

I spent a lot of time at Bob's house.  His Dad was kind of a scary guy to me;  he was a rough fellow and often seemed angry or unhappy.  His Mom, on the other hand, was a WONDERFUL lady with a beautiful smile and a friendly way.  His little sister, Sue, was always around too.  We didn't have much interaction with her, but from what I can tell, she took on the sweet character of her Mom!  

Although I think all of us went to church, I was probably the most invested.  When my church would have a 'revival', Bob claimed I would get religious for a while.  I never developed a colorful language, but did learn some words that were close enough to buy me acceptance with the other guys.  

Aside from Bob, Larry and John, my other set of friends were from the youth group at church.  I became close to this group simply because of our common appearance at church on Sunday mornings and evenings, Wednesday nights and twice-a-year, week-long revivals where we would have services every night for a week!  Add to that periodic youth group meetings and parties and summer youth camps, and we spent a good bit of time together too.

But Bob was my best friend.  We shared our dreams and our fears and kept one another's confidences through the years.  When high school years arrived, we drifted apart some as Bob gained access to the 'cooler group of kids'.  I never made that grade.  Our friendship stayed intact, but lost some of the closeness.  

Bob and Larry were both 'engineering' students.  Consequently, they took lots of math and science courses.  So, I took those courses too, to be with my friends.  The two of them coached me enough to get me through those classes:  Algebra II, Algebra III, Geometry, Trigonometry, and even Calculus.  I got barely passing grades, but completed every math course offered at New Brighton High School.  Bob and Larry got grades in the 90's;  I got grades in the high 70's.  :-)   I, of course, went on to be a humanities student in college and never took anything except a Cultural Math course at the college level.  

A quirky thing happened at our graduation.  Larry, Bob and I ended up leading our classmates in the processional at Baccalaureate and Commencement.  Larry led the processional because he was our Valedictorian.  I was at the front because I sang at those events, and Bob was there because his last name was Creese!  We simply didn't realize that our friendship was experiencing its last days!  

However, we stayed close enough that Bob served as 'Best Man' at my wedding on August 11, 1973, after I graduated from college.  He was a nervous wreck in the hours leading up to the service.  I eventually took him outside so he could smoke to calm his nerves.  Larry was one of the groomsmen too.  But, unfortunately, our paths led us in different directions from that point on.  

Bob reached out to me twice later in life.  He made a lengthy trip to visit me while we were living in McClellandtown, PA, which would have been around 1979 or 1980.  A few years later, he called and asked if I was able to perform a wedding.  I met with him and his fiance and followed through with that responsibility shortly after.  

A decade later, I reached out to him and made a contact in hopes that we could revive our friendship, but it never got off the ground.  Years turned into decades.  I thought of him a thousand times and always wondered how life had turned out for him.  I regretted letting our friendship cool off!  I've never had a friend as close as Bob since.  

Then a couple of months ago, I saw his obituary posted on the NB Alumni Facebook page.  I can't begin to describe the depth of sorrow I felt as I read about his life.  This guy was a formative force in my life through those adolescent years.  He was born one week before me in 1952.  I felt (and feel) the pain of an early relationship that failed to develop through our mature years.  I'm so sorry for my failure to work at sustaining contact with this great friend.  

Bob died on March 4.  I had a long-term plan in place to begin the Appalachian Trail on March 9th, so I was unable to attend his funeral.  Thoughts of him permeated my weeks of hiking.  

I know now that those early-life friendships rarely extend into our adult years.  When they do, it must be a great source of pleasure.  I will be forever grateful for my friendships with Bob, Larry and John.  We surely must have had fights, but I don't remember them.  I just remember fun, adventurous, even mischievous times together and a bonding that still causes my heart to ache when I think of them!  

"Bob, I was glad to read in your obituary of your spiritual connection to God and your acknowledgement that you intend to 'be with Jesus'!  I'll join you there someday and look forward to reminiscing together about the fun times we had as we were growing up!  You were a great friend and I'm sorry that I never told you that.  I rejoiced reading about your family and will continue to pray for them as they are surely missing you!"

Trapping

When I landed in East Liverpool, Ohio, there didn't seem to be any dominant sport by the men in the church. However, eventually a friendship blossomed between John and Denise Repella (Heidi, Hayley and Holly) and Debbie and me (Travis, Troy and Tracie).  John is an avid trapper and it didn't take long for him to invite me to accompany him on his trap-line.

Needless to say, it was a new experience for me.

The first time I went, we parked his truck off-the-road and hiked across a long field to a stream-bed.  As we looked down the bank, we saw three raccoon in separate traps within fifty feet of one another.  John hopped into the stream-bed and sloshed across the creek to the first coon.  He put his foot on its neck and quickly used his pistol to shoot the first coon.

When he glanced up at me I must have had a shocked look on my face.  John simply said:  "Kinda cruel, huh?"  In reality, it was very humane, but I just wasn't used to seeing animals being killed.

I went with John on his trap-line quite a few times.  I eventually figured out that he took me along to help haul his furs back to the truck!

On one occasion, we walked down into a wide, flooded valley where he had set a number of beaver traps. It was a bitter, cold day!  We came to his first trap which was set under the water - which was now frozen! John used a hatchet to break the ice.  Then, he laid down on the ice and plunged his arm up-to-his-shoulder, into the ice-cold water.  Seconds later, he pulled a huge beaver out of the hole in the ice.  After re-setting the trap, we moved on to find four more beaver - all large!  Hauling them out of that valley and back to the truck was exhausting;  as I recall, the average weight was about 60 pounds!

I learned so much from John about trapping and other things and we became the best of friends during our thirteen years in East Liverpool.  I discovered that this relatively quiet and private guy had lots of stories. They were all very personal.  He told me about a night when he saw a UFO.  He spoke of another night when God warned him not to go up a creek!  He talked about his years in the coal mines.

During summers, John also let me tag-along on a couple of fishing jaunts. Friendship is formed by the sharing of intimate thoughts and stories. That bond is not easily broken.

One time the engine went bad in a 1984 Renault Encore I was driving.  John suggested that we buy a used engine and install it.  Ahhh...the height of masculine engagement!  John had just put an engine in one of his trucks and seemed eager to help me change out my engine as well.  We plunged in.  In two days, we had the Encore running again and I drove it for several more years!  It was another rite of passage!

John also gave Troy and me our first experience with frogging.  He took us out very late one night and led us up the middle of a creek.  It was creepy!  He would scan the sides of the creek for small sets of eyes that would focus on his head-lamp.  Then, he would lower his gig in front of them and moments later their legs were in his pouch!

While we were traversing the creek that night in the pitch dark, John stopped suddenly and handed me his gig.  Troy and I watched as he focused his light on the water and peered into the creek.  After moments of scrutinizing something he plunged his arm into the creek and pulled a huge snapping turtle out of the water! It's shell was probably eighteen inches in diameter as he held it up by-the-tail for us to see.  We were incredulous at the site of this big turtle trying desperately to take a chop out of John's leg.  We were even less comfortable when he turned around and released it back into the creek!

I went frogging with John several times that year and we ended the summer with a big frog-leg/chicken-wing barbecue! Delicious!

Our families also became friends.  We shared many cook-outs and family nights.  Travis and Holly became the best of friends!  Heidi and Hayley became Troy and Tracie's baby-sitters.  We played lots of games of Euchre.  We still share ten days every summer at the Tri-State Family Camp in East Liverpool.  Friendships like this are rare and precious!

WIDEN MY CIRCLE, LORD

There seems to be a tendency in us to find friends who are similar.  We like people who share our point-of-view.  It makes us comfortable.  If their backgrounds are similar to ours, all-the-better. 

This has been true for me much of my life.  For me, the church has actually served a somewhat evil purpose;  it has created an abnormal circle of "fellowship" that is dissimilar from the culture. 

I remember reading a book in seminary titled, God's Colony.  It spoke of this proclivity to create a barrier of protection between people of faith and lost people.  What is it in us that makes us do this?

We didn't learn this from Jesus!  Rather, He infiltrated the circles that lost people had created!  :-)   He invited Himself to their homes!  He chased them down at the pools.  He included, rather than excluded.  He knew no strangers.

We are so unlike Him in this regard. 

Perhaps when I find people who agree with me, are similar to me, and share my values, it confirms that I'm right.  Am I that weak and uncertain? 

On occasions when I have reached beyond my normal circles for friendship - I have been surprised and delighted.  Getting to know someone connects us to them.  Why am I afriad of this process? 

I recently spent time with ten people who were VERY dissimilar from me.  I was more drawn to some than others.  But when our marathon of time together ended, I was able to say to the whole group:  "I'm glad I had the opportunity to spend this time with you!" 

When we lived in Akron, I became good friends with several homeless men.  I knew them and they knew me.  I spent time with them almost every Saturday morning.  I miss that!  They added value to my life!

I want to have a broader assoication of friends.  I want to have friends who are very different from me.  I don't want to live my life in a clique!  I want to be more like Jesus in this regard...

BULLDOZERS, HITCHES, PEWS, AND TIE-DOWNS!

In the course of my travels yesterday, I had interventions with some friends.

My first stop was at Fred Swartz's home.  I found him in the backyard working on a small bulldozer.  He had the whole thing in pieces and was tightening some bolts to prevent the transmission from leaking.  He'd used a cherry-picker to remove a 2,000 pound counter-balance.  He was relieved that he didn't have to remove the track.  The whole project was going to take over three weeks to accomplish. 

I went away impressed at his fearless attitude toward tackling a huge job!

Later, I was working on changing the ball on my Explorer hitch in front of my garage.  The thing has been rusting for years and was near impossible to loosen. Some of the tools I wanted were already packed up!  I was nearing the point of frustration when Dennis Mansfield (and his son, Denny) stopped by.  Pretty soon, they were under the back end of the vehicle with me pulling and grunting. 

After awhile, Dennis went home and got a grinder.  In minutes, he had the old ball cut off and replaced with the new 2-inch ball.  As he drove away, I was thankful for his friendship!  He put whatever he was doing aside and helped me solve my problem!

Then Debbie and I stopped to see Harold and Nellie Ewing.  We've had a short pew from Debbie's home church for years that needs to be cut down and put back together.  To have it done properly will take more skill than I have in working with wood.  After looking at it, Harold quickly agreed to take on the job.  Meanwhile he showed me some of the projects that he's working on in his shop. 

I went away impressed at his skill and patience in working in Jesus' trade as a finishing carpenter!  He can do things I'll never even dream of being able to do!

At almost dusk, I was struggling with some uncooperative tie-downs as I tried to secure the load on my little flatbed trailer.  Patience was running thin.  My friend, Curt Massey stopped on his way home from worship team practice and dove into the problem.  In short order he had my load tight and was on his way!

As I look back over the day, I am impressed with the skills, abilities, and generosity of my friends.  My life is much richer because of their friendship!  And I've just mentioned the four that I interesected with yesterday;  there are many more who impact me on a regular basis. 

Lord,
Thank You for my male friends!  Thank You for the unique way You've made them;  for the skills and abilities You've cultivated in them.  Thank You for their generosity.  Thank You for their wisdom and experience.  Thank You that they love their wives and care about their families.  Thank You that they're making a difference in the world - day by day!  Bless each of them today and meet whatever needs they might have!  And help me to be like them! 
Oh Yeah!

7F

It was a big deal going from a rural school with only three grades, to the New Brighton Junior High School!  The relatively new Junior High School was a huge, multi-level building.  You no longer spent the whole day in one classroom;  instead, you moved from classroom to classroom.  It was intimidating!

On day one, we were all assigned to home-rooms and given a class designation.  I was placed in Mrs. Littell's home-room along with about thirty other students.  We were to be known for that year as the students of 7F.

Someone somewhere had taken all the incoming students and began placing them in groups:  7A, 7B, 7C, 7D, 7E, and 7F.  By the time they got to 7F, there weren't any decisions to make;  the remaining names on the list were simply the students of 7F. 

I pretty quickly noticed that most of our class was made up of students who might have been considered "undesirables".  It seems that the philosophy of the day was that it would be easier to handle these young people if you lumped them all into one group!

I know what you're thinking!  How did I end up in this group?  Obviously, I don't know the answer to that question.  There were several of us in the class who didn't seem to fit the motif of the selection process. 

It was a rough year.  At first, I was bullied by several of the guys.  Because I was one of the 'smart' ones, I was forced to share my homework with some of the 'tough guys' in the class.  There were attempts made to get me to help them cheat their way through tests.  I had my $.35 lunch money stolen too many times to remember.  Did I mention, it was a rough year!

But I survived. 

And the next year I was placed in 8B. 

PS - I made many new friends in eighth grade.  However, I maintained a unique friendship with the "undesirables" from 7F.  Often, throughout the remainder of my high school days, my new friends would make odd comments about my friendship with some of the 'hoods' of our class.  All I could do was to say, "We got acquainted in 7F."