CATALYST FOR GROWTH

My nephew, Scott, drove in from New York Friday to attend a meeting in our area on Saturday.  He brought his dad along so we could visit while he attended his meeting. Our son, Troy came over Saturday morning to spend some time with his Uncle Dick as well. It was a casual time of sitting in the cool of our front yard while visiting and swapping stories! 

I’d like to share some of Dick’s spiritual journey with you today.

Dick is Italian through and through! I met him when he started dating my sister, Beverly, back in the late 1960’s. I liked him immediately because he had the coolest Ford Mustang [I would have been about fourteen]!

Dick was a colorful addition to our family! He used language that wasn’t typically used in our family. He was outgoing and loved to laugh! Our family stretched to include him and enfolded his young son, Scotty, as well! Our parents – Leonard and Hazel Haire – enfolded Dick fully! He came to love and appreciate them until their deaths [Hazel – 1981; Leonard, 1992]. Their godly influence and full acceptance helped Dick’s transformation!

Few people know it, but Beverly and her best friend, Nancy, met two Italian guys at a skating rink. Dick and Dom were a bit older than they were, but they each became couples that stayed together through the years!  Dick was an AMAZING roller-skater! I’m told that when he went out on the floor, the skaters would clear the floor as he would show off his remarkable skills! 

On December 2, 1967, Bev and Dick were married in our home in New Brighton, PA. They got almost 58 years in before Beverly died in June, 2025. 

They lived life to the fullest! Their month-long vacations every March/April to resorts in Florida were famous for family get-togethers, relaxing by the pool, eating out and fun! One year, they took our son, Travis, with them and treated him to a trip to Disney [something that we were simply not able to afford].

Dick is a giver! He picks up the bill when a crowd goes out to eat! They put in a backyard swimming pool and Debbie and I camped in their backyard for our vacation for several years. Our kids absolutely loved Aunt Bev and Uncle Dick. For sixteen years, Dick worked at Tobin Meats. When we went to his house, we ate steak [something that was uncommon in the Haire house].

But I primarily want to talk about Dick’s spiritual pilgrimage. Meeting, dating and marrying Beverly changed Dick’s world forever!  Beverly put her faith first! To honor her, Dick would often attend worship with her at the campus Free Methodist Church in North Chili, NY. At that time, it had a congregation of nearly a thousand! He made lots of friends there. Over the years, Beverly attended several other churches. Dick didn’t always go, but he did always honor her faith!

In the course of time, Dick became friends with a professor from Roberts Wesleyan College. He was one of my Bible/Greek professors – Stanley Magill. Dick frequently ran into Prof Magill at a Greek restaurant down the street from the campus.  Dick smoked cigars at the time and Prof loved the smell of his cigars 😲 They forged a friendship that was influential in Dick’s spiritual pilgrimage!

Many of their friends came from Beverly’s Christian associations.  All along the way, Dick’s world became immersed in a faith community!  Then, God intervened and sent an Italian pastor to the Pearce Memorial Church. His name was Dr. V. J. Mannoia. He immediately connected with Dick and they spoke a language that bonded them as friends. It was during this period that Dick began to lead the prayer before our meals in his home. He often teared-up as he prayed! You could tell that it was meaningful for him to talk with God publicly! 

HOWEVER, new believers are not transformed overnight!  His language stayed colorful! Even yesterday, I giggled inside as we talked in the front yard!  I’m sure that Troy did too! I think we place too high expectations on new believers! Transformation is not an overnight experience!!!!!  It takes time!  Lots of time! 

Dick is an emotional man!  He spoke through tears repeatedly Friday evening and Saturday! Of course, he is adjusting to life alone – now that Beverly has moved on to Heaven.

Dick will readily admit that he based his hope for Heaven on having Beverly as his wife! He consdered her to be his ‘ticket to Heaven’!  He lovingly cared for her through three years of increasing dementia and constant home care! He exhausted himself watching over her and protecting her! And she wasn’t always nice to him during this debilitating period! But Dick’s love persisted! He assured her that he would keep her at home as long as he possibly could. Here’s how he put it: “This is what I signed up for!”

When she died, Dick was lost! Their big house was empty! Everywhere he looked – he saw memories of her! He wept! He still weeps – a year later!  Our family enfolded Dick and their daughter, Heather, and their son, Scott. We assured him that he would ALWAYS be part of the Haire family!

Through this floundering season, Dick began sitting at their kitchen table every morning and started reading the Bible with a cup of coffee and a light breakfast.  He tells me that he still reads it every morning! He says:

“Harold, I don’t always know what I’m reading, but I just keep reading. Then, I pray! I tell God that I’m not sure what it meant, but I’m not giving up! I tell Him how much I miss Bev. I pray for my kids. I pray for our president [whose picture is pasted on the garage door in front of him]. And I thank Him for all He's done for me!”

This is how Dick starts every day now!  He’s taking responsibility for his own faith! Beverly’s departure has catalyzed him into owning his faith in a personal way! IT’S A GOOD THING!  He’s forming his own relationship with God – perhaps for the first time! 

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What a gracious and wonderful God we serve! How He has coordinated Dick’s life is AWESOME!

·        First He brought Beverly into Dick’s life!

·        Then the Haire family – especially Leonard and Hazel.

·        His friend Dom became a fervent man of faith – along with his wife, Nancy [Beverly’s best friend]!

·        Then, along came the spiritual fireball – Stanley Magill!

·        Then, God brought V. J. Mannoia to Pearce Church to solidify the deal!

·        Dick and Bev’s son, Scott Iachetta, is a vibrant man of faith who has played a leading role in his youth work over the years – as well as his church!  Scott and Robin’s godly influence has certainly strengthened Dick – especially now that Dick is alone!

And only God knows all the other details, connections, provisions and catalysts that God has maneuvered into Dick’s life to keep him on-track and grow him into the man he is today!

I praise the Lord for His goodness! 

Do you see yourself in Dick’s story? 

God doesn’t love Dick any more than He loves YOU!  God intervenes in your life in just as creative ways as He did for Dick! Stop and think about it! God brings people and situations into our lives to satisfy His purposes!  He wants us to grow! He wants us to fulfill His mission for our lives! He calls us continually to higher ground!

You haven’t shut Him out – have you?

Open yourself anew to God’s voice and His ways! You might be surprised to know that He’s closer than you think!

YOU CAN'T GET TO HEAVEN ON SOMEONE ELSE'S APRON-STRINGS

My brother-in-law, Dick, is now a widower [since June of this year]. He and my sister, Beverly, were married over 57 years! He fit into our family wonderfully - fully accepted. Bev got him to attend church with her and he saw her dedication to God on a daily basis through all of those years. 

Dick is Italian! Early on in their relationship, God arranged for the Pearce Memorial Free Methodist Church to have an Italian pastor - Dr. V. J. Mannoia. Dick loved this pastor and they had many jokes that they shared. This moved Dick even closer to his own experience of God in his life. It was probably around that time that Dick would occasionally lead our family in prayer. He would weep as he prayed and his voice would get very high with emotion!

But, his life still had all of the color that it had exhibited before. My parents loved Dick and he loved them! We became a family to Dick and enfolded him completely! He especially loved my mom - in spite of the fact that she insisted on overcooking meat [a travesty to Dick who was a meat-cutter for seventeen years]. 😂

Over the years, Dick ran hot and cold as far as attending church was concerned. His son, Scott, has been a Christian leader since his teens when he began working with youth! Scott is still a committed layman who has the passion of a pastor! His investment in Christian ministry is exceptional! He's also been a massive Christian influence on his dad!

But Dick's faith always seemed to be dependent on Beverly. She was the spiritual leader of their home! His connection to God was tied directly to hers.

UNTIL JUNE!

After caring lovingly for Bev for over three years while her condition with dementia deteriorated gradually but distinctly, Dick was alone!

Like so many others who have faced this reality, he struggles. He weeps a lot! He banters around the house doing his chores and passing time. When I call, he cries. He maintains that he's getting along okay. He repeatedly says that he's making it "one day at a time". 

Debbie and I have been purposeful about going up twice since the memorial service. He seems to enjoy our visits and talks endlessly about his life. But this most recent visit was different.

He talked about the fact that his faith was anchored by Beverly. He recognized that he needed to have a personal relationship with God. So, he began sitting down at the breakfast table in their kitchen and reading his Bible. He tries to read a couple of chapters a day. 

He told us: "Harold, sometimes I don't even know what I read. I don't understand it at all."

[It's apparent to me that he began reading in Genesis which can be overwhelming for anyone.]

But, he has stuck with it! He says that when he finishes reading for the day, he sits there and talks to God. He tells God that he doesn't understand much of what he read. But, he observes that the people he read about seem to have a lot of problems! So, Dick turns his lonliness and other problems over to God on a daily basis! 

I interrupted him at this point by observing that a door to his garage - visible from his table - has a picture of Donald Trump on it. He laughed and said, "Yeah, Harold, I look at the picture and ask the Lord to help him with whatever he's doing today." We laughed together. But, isn't it remarkable that our president is being blessed every day by an 89-year-old, widower in Rochester, New York? It doesn't get any better than that!

Dick is managing! He is making the best of a heartbreaking situation! In spite of his loneliness, he is growing in his relationship with the Lord! He's praying for wisdom and direction about his home and his finances. He recognizes that he's blessed to have great neighbors who - for years - have helped him with his lawn, snow-removal, and leaf-gathering! They are good to Dick and genuinely care for him! He's thankful for lifelong friends who call him regularly to check up on him! He looks back on a life that was filled with abundance and plentiful pleasures! He has two precious kids in Scott and Heather, along with grandchildren and great-grandchildren who love and cherish him! He has no regrets!

Bev's death was tragic, but also a relief. He misses her dearly - as do many of us [she was my last sibling to go to Heaven]!  But, to an extent, Dick exhausted himself caring for her 24/7. He's finally getting a chance to rest up and relax. He's even making plans for his future! He still has dreams and desires that he'd like to act on. 

I share his story with you today as an encouragement! You can't get to Heaven because your parents were Christians! You can't get there because you go to church or are a member. You can't get there because you have been generous and treated people well all of your life. You won't arrive in Heaven because you lived a good life!

No! Sorry! These things don't really qualify you for entrance into Heaven - even though the world will tell you that they do...

You will be accepted into Heaven because you've developed a personal relationship with God through Jesus and the Holy Spirit! This relationship will gradually but certainly transform you into a person who genuinely and supremely loves God. God will use you to influence other people who know and relate to you! Your example may be the cause of family, neighbors, friends [even people in line with you at Walmart] to seek a deeper, more meaningful relationship with God as well! 

YOU MAY VERY WELL BE THE INSTRUMENT THAT GOD USES TO GET SOMEONE IN YOUR SPHERE OF INFLUENC INTO HEAVEN AS WELL!  

BANANA NUT BREAD

I love banana nut bread!

I've been noticing five black bananas on the bottom shelf of our refrigerator. I know Deb has a big day today. We're having our own small Thanksgiving Dinner this afternoon. She'll be baking apple pies to take to Troy and Missy's tomorrow for a bigger version of a family Thanksgiving. I made my mom's cranberry jello yesterday. I'll be making ham rolls today!

Recently, on a visit to see my brother-in-law, Dick, I asked to go through Beverly's recipe box. I was hunting for a recipe for the Mac&Cheese Cassarole that my mom used to make. I was DELIGHTED when I found a letter from my mom to Bev explaining how she used to make it! While shuffling through the recipes, I also found my mom's recipe for banana nut bread.

So, upon arising this morning, I began the process. I'm definitely NOT the baker in our family! But I followed mom's directions to the 'T' and put three loaves in the oven. It took me well over an hour to prepare and suggested a baking time of one hour [but she noted to check it in 45 minutes].

Now it's time for a little sidebar:

Debbie is an amazing baker! Her pies are literally ‘Blue Ribbon Award Winning’ – according to the Canfield Fair! 😚 

At this time of year she – like so many of you – makes cookies. Her pecan tassies, peanut-butter-cup, lady-fingers and Snicker-doodles are such a treat! And, of course, throughout the year she frequently makes batches of chocolate-chip cookies [using her Grandma Whippo’s recipe]; they are the best anywhere! 

Pretty much anything sweet that comes out of her oven is worth waiting for!

Except her banana nut bread! 

I’ve told her through the years that it hasn’t been baked long enough. You can’t spread butter on it because it crumbles all up! It’s good tasting but frustrating to eat!

Now, on top of all this, is the realization I’ve come to that my mom severely overcooked her meat! She was a great cook, but her hamburgers were crispy!  When my brother-in-law, Dick, became part of our family, he teased her constantly! He had been a butcher for Tobin Meats [in Rochester, NY] for seventeen years – and Dick knew meat! He tried to convince her – but it was too late for her to change.

Interesting note: Just a few weeks ago, Debbie accidentally over-baked her banana nut bread. She was upset, until we sliced and ate it. She commented that she accidentally got it to come out “just like your mom’s”!  We had a good laugh about that!

So, early this morning found me mashing bananas and adding mom’s ingredients to a large bowl. When I saw this huge bowl of over-ripe bananas, flour, eggs, sugar, and other sticky goodies, I decided the best way to mix it was to wash my hands and do it by hand. For fifteen minutes I squeezed and mixed and squeezed some more – until it looked right to me. Then I poured it into three bread-pans and placed it into the 350 degree oven! 

Having set my timer for 45 minutes – I retired to my study to work on Rylie’s Bible!

When the timer went off, I went to the kitchen to check the nut-bread. It looked amazing! But I just wasn’t sure? I have a baking specialist in the house, so I cracked the bedroom door to find Deb just getting up. I asked her to check it for me.

Oh my! The house smelled SO GOOD!  She noticed right away and started firing questions at me. She seemed pleased that I did this to make her day easier! Using a toothpick, she told me to give it ten more minutes – even though the edges were getting brown.

I did, however, take the small loaf out to cool on the racks.

Ten minutes later, I pulled them out and set them aside to cool! They turned out beautiful – and delicious!

Deb has already stated that I am now the official banana-nut-bread maker in the Haire household! I guess that’s a compliment?

Another sidebar:

Sundays were a big day in my growing-up home! We had a set schedule that included Sunday School, Morning Worship – and then later in the day Youth Group and the Evening Worship Service.

We always had a huge Sunday dinner upon returning from church. My mom had the gift of hospitality, so she often invited people to come to our house for dinner!

Her spiritual history was heavily influenced by the Scottish Reformed Church [Think: Eric Liddell and the movie: “Chariots of Fire”].

Being a strict Sabbatarian, she did as much of her meal preparation on Saturday evening as was possible. I recall EVERY SATURDAY EVENING seeing a pot of peeled and cut potatoes covered in water and sitting in the sink!

Our house was always busy on Sunday mornings as four had to use one bathroom, so breakfast had to be simple and involve no work! Consequently, every Sunday morning my mom would set a fresh loaf of banana nut bread on the kitchen table along with a soft stick of butter and a stack of small plates [often paper]. It was her version of a do-it-yourself breakfast – and we all loved it!

So, I guess you could say that banana nut bread had a significant place in my upbringing. To have made it this morning using one of my mom’s original pans and also her recipe has made my morning kind of SPECIAL!

She shaped my life more than any other person! So many things I do today are because of her teaching or example! Her modeling of:

·        a dedicated prayer life

·        a love for missionary work

·        meticulous planning

·        a love for the Bible

·        a commitment to the church

·        a high priority for her family

·        a systematic approach to any job

formed me powerfully to be the man I am today!

It’s been forty-four years ago that she went to Heaven! I occasionally feel badly because I don’t consciously think of her every day anymore. But when I do, I am fully aware that – outside of Debbie – no one has impacted me more than she did! 

I love you, Mom. I wish you were here to have a slice of my banana nut bread with me! 

THE HARDEST THING I EVER HAD TO DO!

PART ONE - BACKGROUND

In 1995, I made a change in our family's plans that had a massive impact. I initiated a move from a church that I had led for thirteen years. I was exhausted! It had - in many ways - been a wonderful appointment with many conversions, significant growth, and a fully transitioned church! But I had been ground up in the tension between an older, guardian group and a younger, passionate group. I was the buffer between these camps and had paid a dear price for a long time. Consequently, I created a change. My parents had died and I lost trust in the conference leadership, so I sent resume's out across the church – as far as (remarkably) the Pacific northwest! I ultimately accepted an appointment to a small congregation in Spencerville, Maryland. 

This was NOT the hardest thing I ever did! That is yet to come.

The move was a challenge for our family. Spencerville is just outside the Washington, D.C. beltway and was a fast-growing cosmopolitan area. We had to learn shortcuts to go anywhere because the traffic was thoroughly congested [Sometimes we waited 10 minutes just to get out of our driveway!]. Troy and Tracie were part of a small minority group in the public school with the general population being fairly equally split between Asian, Hispanic and Middle Eastern students.  .

Having moved from Appalachia, we were now living in one of the most affluent counties in the country! We felt the financial shock IMMEDIATELY!  Leaving Ohio, family and friends had been hard; Troy and I suffered significant depression throughout that first summer as a result of this relocation. The fact that it was a summer of record-breaking heat - with no air conditioning in our new home - added to our stress.

We lived in the parsonage - on the church property - which was several acres of flat land with a pavilion. Travis had just begun his four years at the Naval Academy in Annapolis - 26 miles away. Consequently, we got to see him during a lot of Saturdays after he qualified for 'leave'. 

The church received us with kindness after having just said "Good-bye" to a very long-term pastor and his wife! They were somewhat wounded as a result of this pastoral change, but their leadership was very gracious to us and we were well received. 

The congregation averaged about forty. This was quite a change from leaving a church that was running around two hundred! The pace was slower and I was given time for respite and healing. 

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It’s important to note that my ‘Call’ to ministry has never been easy for me. I found leading churches to be frustrating because of slow-adaptors and resistance to change! I had nearly left the ministry in 1984, during a time when I was vigorously pursuing my education and burning the candle at both ends!

 

I had become fascinated with the concept of planting a new church. I believed that this was one way to avoid the chronic resistance to change. I had spoken with our denominational leadership about this possibility and had read scores of books on the topic.

 

Making the leap into this venture usually required being bi-vocational. It takes a special kind of person with unique skills to start a new church. This became a dream of mine that grew largely out of my frustration with leading plateaued churches that had lost their sense of mission and vision. Most churches – it seemed to me – had come to a comfort zone of inefficiency and settled there. Any attempt to disrupt that homeostasis was met with resistance – sometimes stringent!

 

I had resolved that the challenges of church planting would be more favorable than those that I had faced in transitioning a church. Transitioning a church from complacency to passion is one of the hardest things to do! I’m grateful to God that He enabled me to lead through this process in East Liverpool and later in New Middletown. I also was part of this process in Akron, Ohio, - although not the key leader.

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The Spencerville church had a strong reputation and had been a solid church throughout its history. The building was a very traditional, colonial-style with adequate parking and room for expansion. The congregation was a mix of younger couples with children and a heavier balance of older members – including many shut-ins.

They had managed to maintain themselves by renting the facility to a Korean congregation every Sunday afternoon. I quickly became friends with the people of the Korean congregation who often came in colorful clothing for their festivals. They served a meal every Sunday and always left our building smelling like an Asian restaurant! 😊 I enjoyed eating ‘kimche’ with them many times and thoroughly enjoyed their fellowship!

The people of the Spencerville congregation were faithful! In spite of their pain in losing a long-term leader (and spouse), they embraced us generously. Having come from a transitioned church, I was not as patient as I should have been and immediately began to challenge their thinking through my preaching and teaching. Troy and I had been gifted with wonderful guitars by a friend from our East Liverpool church. We began using them to lead the Sunday evening service – teaching the congregation new choruses and trying to grow a more energetic approach to worship.

I was forty-three when I arrived at Spencerville with a plan and hope to make this a long-term pastorate – possibly from which I would eventually retire. But, the best made plans of mice and men…

PART TWO – THE PAINFUL PART

Troy and Tracie were teenagers when we arrived in Spencerville. As they eventually made friends, these friends came from families considerably different than ours. Many of them came from broken homes and complex histories. The church property became a gathering point for them because of our four-wheelers and the wide open space. The quads rarely cooled down. Eventually, I put an above-ground pool in our backyard. At any given time, it looked like a youth group activity was going on in our yard!

Troy and Tracie invited these kids to come to Sunday School and church with them – AND MANY OF THEM CAME! Our youth leader was a young woman who embraced and accepted these kids. I constantly warned Troy and Tracie that they needed to be the influencers – not the influenced! Debbie and I became quite close with these kids. I had long conversations with one young man who had a brilliant mind. I later found out that ‘Bob’ wasn’t even his real name! 🙄 One of these young men – we discovered later – was living in a semi-trailer on a landscaping lot nearby.

We eventually removed the kids from the public school and placed them in a Christian school some distance away. That threw us into the fiasco of traffic and congestion every morning! It also stretched us financially to the breaking point!

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The church began to slowly respond to our leadership! Hope was born! Several new converts were made in new families! Those who had been dancing on the periphery began attending with regularity! Several new families became contributing participants in the congregation! Children’s and youth ministry numbers went up! Sunday worship attendance increased significantly! Although there was still some mild resistance [there always is in transitioning a church!], this congregation was beginning to experience new life!

It was the fall of 1997, when the wheels came off the Haire wagon. We faced a family crisis that rocked our boat like it had never been rocked before! We were thrown into a frenzy. The crisis had a backlash on us financially [big time], as well as emotionally! Our problems were of a nature that did not encourage transparency. A few parishoners became aware of the nature of our problem because of snippets they had read in the newspaper. A few spoke to us with reassurances of their prayers.

Between September 4 [the day our crisis presented itself] and mid-November, we had massive choices to make. I often refer to these days as the period when Debbie and I learned to pray! We spent hours on our knees at our bedside or at our living room couch! We poured our hearts out to God! We asked for His wisdom, guidance and provision! We asked Him to bless our kids! Every day-to-day activity became hard to perform! I was distracted from leading the church! Our family system was so far away, and my parents had already left for Heaven! We felt SO ALONE and DESPERATE!

Our crisis involved a lengthy hospitalization and regular counseling appointments; even psychiatry appointments – which were VERY expensive. We fell significantly behind in the Christian school bill [which was later paid by a leading layman]. We began selling whatever we could to try to stay solvent!

During these short months, we were so preoccupied with our family that everything else slipped into second place! I still feel badly about that!

Finally, we had to make a decision!

After saturation in prayer, we decided that if we wanted to save our family then we needed to return to Pennsylvania and surround our kids with our family system who would offer them unconditional support and love!

This was a horribly hard decision for us to make!  Because of our pain, shock and the privacy of our need, we chose not to be open with the Spencerville congregation. Our departure was very suddenly announced. We were given permission to pack all of our belongings in the parsonage two-car garage – and we left!

It was abrupt and without explanation! People were shocked and offended. Just yesterday – while going through old files in my garage – I read angry letters that I received from parishoners who didn’t understand our motivation for leaving. It was hard! They were certainly justified in writing them.

Instantaneously, we were homeless and without income – yet with significant debt.

We moved into the farmhouse with Deb’s parents for several weeks. We withdrew Troy and Tracie from school. Troy and I tackled jobs together on the farm to try to ‘pay our way’ a bit. Daily, we poured our hearts out to God for His provision and direction.

I sent out emails to all of our family and friends every week detailing what we were going through and desperately trying to recruit their prayers. After several weeks, some East Liverpool friends provided us with an apartment in Chester, West Virginia. We moved in with no furniture and only the supplies that we had left Spencerville with. We ate lots of Ramen Noodles because we could buy them for $.10/package.

I should note that the Spencerville Church extended our pay through the end of the year – which was an unmerited grace that we deeply appreciated!

As Christmas approached, we managed to buy one gift for each of our three T’s. Upon Travis’ arrival from the Naval Academy, he took Troy and Tracie out to buy a ‘Charlie Brown’ Christmas tree and a few ornaments.

I scoured the newspaper daily looking for job opportunities! With a college degree and two master’s degrees, I was ‘over-qualified’ for every position I inquired about. We were constantly with Troy and Tracie! We tried to envelop them with our love, encouragement and support.

Remarkably, during this time I received letters from people that I had counseled over the years.  Repeatedly, they included a financial gift expressing appreciation for the way I had helped them redirect their lives. I was asked to preach one Sunday by a church that had been founded by a layman who had been under my influence at Oakland. They gifted us that morning with $700!!!!!!!!!!  We were overwhelmed with God’s grace and goodness as well as their generosity!

In short: God provided for our needs! We spent nearly four months in this condition of dependence on God!

To end this story, I eventually turned up a classified ad from a social serving agency in Akron, Ohio. They were looking for parents to operate a licensed ‘Shelter Home’ under their supervision. I called and made an appointment with a representative. He agreed to meet us at a ‘Spaghetti Warehouse’ in Akron. We were SO EXCITED about this interview because we hadn’t eaten out in nearly five months! 😁

We were hired a week later and moved into one of their homes in Cuyahoga Falls three weeks later. Within several weeks we retrieved all of our belongings from Maryland. We worked for Shelter Care for six years. I also eventually joined the staff of Cornerstone Church which was a pivotal period of growth and development for our family!

AN APOLOGY

Five years later, a true friend [Chip Poole] passed away. Chip and Debby had felt like lifelong friends upon our arrival in Spencerville.  Despite an age difference, their kids and ours connected. Chip and I encouraged and cultivated one another. In recent days I have come across numerous letters from Chip encouraging and thanking me for my ministry! I was invited to speak at his funeral. This was my opportunity to finally address the real reasons for our abrupt departure in late 1997. For many, this was the first realization of what we had actually been going through when we made our ‘hard decision’. One family took us out for dinner and thanked us for filling in the blanks.

I want to use this opportunity to thank the Spencerville congregation for their grace and support through this STRESSFUL period of our lives! Your loving support left a deep imprint on our lives!

I really did intend to retire after leading your church for a season! God was at work and you all were adapting to my radically different style of leadership! Although we had a fast-growing, contemporary church one mile to our east and a massive mega-church four miles to our west, we were beginning to carve out a unique, loving, caring, creative ministry that was preparing us to enfold many who were searching for a Savior and a Christian home!

I’m sorry! It’s only now – so many years later – that I am comfortable speaking about this period! I simply want you to know that leaving you was truly THE HARDEST THING I EVER HAD TO DO!  Our love was genuine and our commitment sincere!

Thank you for your love, prayers and support! Our two-and-a-half years together fostered many fond and loving memories for us!

By the way:

·         You probably know that we lost Travis in October, 2015. Our hearts were permanently damaged by his sudden death and we miss him daily!

·         Troy is a healthy, happy man today with a lovely and capable wife, Missy. He is a fire-fighter in Boardman, Ohio, and is active in one of the last churches I served: Free Methodist Community Church, New Middletown, Ohio.

·         Tracie eventually moved back to your area when she turned nineteen and lived with her friend, Allison.  During this period, she met Jon Kerstetter, and they were married in 2005. Jon had a twenty-three year career in the U.S. Navy, retiring in March 2024. They have given us two grandchildren: Rylie (17) and Coltin (16). They are all living out their faith in significant ways in Rockledge, Florida.

If you care to correspond, you may write to us at 190 Rusty Trail, Enon Valley, PA 16120. Our combined email address is halinasia@psmail.net. I am also on Facebook every day at Facebook.com/HalHaire. 

BEVERLY HAIRE - HAPPY IN HEAVEN!

So many thoughts flood my mind as I reflect on my sister, Beverly’s life. In the couple of days since she died, I’ve received lots of comforting thoughts from so many friends. My friend, Brenda Young, captured it for me by writing: 

“It is so very hard when there’s a whole set of memories that no one has but you anymore.” 

I can reflect on the death of each of my siblings now, and with each one – Jeannette, Ira and Beverly – I was able to enjoy a period where we reminisced about our parents and the way we were raised.

I don’t know when it happened, but somewhere along the way, I took on the role of ‘keeper of the family stories’. It fits me well. So, in that vein, let me share a few stories about Bev.

BEV AS A TEENAGER

I only have vague memories of Ira still living at home. When we moved to New Brighton [around 1958], he commuted to Beaver Falls to finish his senior year. He was a foreground type of person who made lots of jokes and kept extremely active.

I recall a night when he popped into the house with a friend after having visited a carnival somewhere. He walked in the door with a four-foot-tall, colorful, stuffed clown that he had won by knocking milk jugs off a shelf. He only stayed a moment before heading back out for more fun. But before he left, he gave the clown to Beverly. It was clear that it shocked her! She looked overwhelmed, confused and delighted – all at the same time! I remember feeling SO HAPPY for her that night. I also remember being SO PROUD of this big brother that I hardly knew!

BEV AT IDORA PARK

We were privileged to be able to go to Idora Park [an amusement park] in Youngstown twice a year:

·         Once because it was New Brighton High School Picnic Day, and

·         Again, when our Dad’s shop – Townsend Company – provided all-day ride passes!

I’m not sure which this day was, but we were trying to squeeze as many rides in as possible. Our dad occasionally rode with us, but mom always found a bench and someone to talk with.

This was in the latter days of Idora and it was apparent that it was beginning to decline. But we were intent on having fun!

About four of us got in line for the ‘Wildcat’ roller coaster. To prevent line-jumping, they had constructed two cyclone fences really close together to help keep the line organized [they were probably about three feet apart].

The Wildcat line was always long, but it moved fast. Standing in line gave you plenty of opportunity to talk about the last ride and anticipate the next.

As we stood in line, a few kids moved through the line passing people like they had some kind of priority pass. They passed most people so quickly that they hardly had time to react. As we stood talking and waiting, this group approached us.

Suddenly – I hadn’t seen them coming – Beverly reached out and grabbed the fence across from her right at neck level for the leader of this pack. It was an intimidating moment and I feared a conflict [remember, I’m seven years younger than Bev]. That’s when I heard her say to these guys: “That’s far enough, buster! Nobody cuts in front of me!”

It was a tense moment, but her audacity apparently had just the right amount of pressure to it that they backed up and stayed behind us.

There was no further problem and we had fun on the ride.

But I had seen a side of my sister that day that I had never seen before!  😮 

THE LIFE OF THE PARTY

I always felt proud of Bev. I think she held a hard spot in our family. Jeannette was the first child – and a daughter. She often spoke of how dad spoiled her.  Ira was the first boy – born three years after Jeannette. Bev was born four years later and held the ‘baby’ position until I was born. She also spoke of dad buying her dresses and making her feel special. But school was hard for her and she dealt with some self-esteem issues. However, she had inherited the ‘Walton’ gene for humor and fun! She had a big laugh and made many friends especially at church and Camp Meeting every summer. She loved to have fun and – as mentioned earlier – she loved amusement parks and roller coasters. 

LAUNCHING INTO ADULTHOOD

I’m a little vague on details here, but after graduation, Bev moved to the Rochester, NY area. I think that Ira had a lot to do with helping her to launch her independence. He was married and established. She lived with him briefly while she started working at Chili Plastics. Ira, Bev and I all worked at this plastics factory.

Eventually, she and Nancy [Hughes/Nasso] rented a small apartment and lived together for a good while. They eventually dated a couple of guys named Dick and Dom, and that’s where two love stories began all those years ago!

BEV AND DICK

Our family took to Dick immediately. I thought he was great because of the blue Mustang that he drove. When the family all came together at mom and dad’s house in New Brighton – it was always a fun time!

One of the favorite stories revolves around mom’s famous nut-rolls. During one family get-together, the container of these cherished pastries disappeared for about half-a-day. We looked everywhere, but couldn’t find them! We later realized that Ira had hidden them. After that, it was common for the container of nut-rolls to disappear from time-to-time. 

Mom and dad had camped for years at Red House [near Salamanca, NY]. It was a place of many memories and family fun! I clearly remember the first time that our family was introduced to Scott. We were all camping together. Dick and I drove back to Rochester to bring Scotty down. When he got out of the car, mom opened her arms to him and he ran to her! What a moment! It was love at first sight! She and Dad would be so proud of Scott, Robin and their family today. Dad was always heavily involved in leadership at the Rochester District Camp. Scott has taken up that mantle as a current leader at Tri-State Camp!

FLORIDA FUN!

Somewhere along the line, Dick and Bev started buying into time share vacations. This was to become a huge part of their lives! They lived for April to come when they would head to Florida for three, four, even five weeks of fun and sun!

Their generosity became famous as others joined in on the fun. Dick's sister, Aunt Peggy, was included at times. The Nassos were almost always part of the package. After Jeannette and Lib retired, they often stopped and stayed for a few days as well. One year, Bev and Dick hosted all of the Haires for a week at Orange Park! Ira and Joyce participated too. Debbie and I treasure that memory because Travis and Troy each came and we had such a good time together! 

The goal of these trips was relaxation, golf and fun! We always appreciated them taking Travis and introducing him to the world of Disney – something that we simply didn’t have the resources to do!

BACKYARD VACATIONS

A couple of times, Bev invited us to come up with our pop-up camper and set it up in their backyard. Dick featured regular cookouts, the kids swam whenever they wanted, and Bev and I competed on Nintendo playing a game that we called ‘Chicken-across-the road’! We screamed and laughed as the kids patiently waited for us to finish so they could play again! Bev made great meals for us and took us to the Rochester Zoo!

We had so much fun! Two years in a row, I had to drive back to East Liverpool to do funerals. That’s part of the inconvenience of being a pastor. With low salaries and a growing family, Bev and Dick sure added a lot of joy to our lives by their generous invitations! Our kids definitely loved their Uncle Dick and Aunt Bev.

LIKE HER MOM

When our dad died, we emptied out his house. It was the worst week of my life! When the end of this process arrived, I was given my mom’s and dad’s Bibles. What a treasure! I value them highly! My mom’s is filled with prayer lists of people from church, from camp, family connections and friends from the past and the present. She had taped pockets to the front and back covers to hold all of these lists!  

As the youngest, I often wondered which of our parents we took after the most.

It was clear to me that Jeannette favored the Walton side of the family. She looked like the Waltons and certainly had the mischievous humor of the Waltons. But I always thought that Ira, Bev and I took more after the Haire side. Ira – as he grew older – came to look just like our dad. It was actually remarkable.

With Bev, there was no doubt! She became a spiritual clone of our mother!

I’m a Facebooker! Until recent years, Bev was also a Facebooker. I used to marvel at my sister as I saw her brief comment over and over and over again on Facebook: “I’ll be praying for you!”  And I often told people that when my sister tells you that she’s going to pray for you – SHE WILL!  She believed in prayer! She practiced prayer! After our mom died, Bev was my number one prayer partner! Aside from Debbie, she was the first person I turned to for prayer!

She enjoyed a dynamic, personal, infectious relationship with God and she used it to bless untold thousands of people through her prayers! 

FAMILY REUNIONS

Joyce took the lead to get our Haire family together several times while they were living in Canton, PA. I’m not sure how many times we did it, but I think it might have been three. I know we did it once over Thanksgiving and another time was over July 4^th.

We all invaded their home and stayed for a few days! We took rides, enjoyed hayrides, played lots of games, ate lots of great food and just enjoyed being together! There were some great pictures taken of the four of us sitting around Joyce’s table while talking.

Thank you, Joyce, for making those great memories for us!

PRAYER TIME

There’s a striking memory that all of us have that I’d like to close with. Back in the day when mom and dad were both living [which means before October, 1981], we would all occasionally come home to visit at the same time. Our wedding was one of those times – August 11, 1973. 

I’ve already mentioned the ‘nut-roll’ story. We loved being together and would almost always attend the New Brighton Free Methodist Church together on Sunday morning. This gave our parents a great deal of pride.

All four of us – Jeannette, Ira, Beverly and me – were blessed by being raised in a home where God was highly honored! We were raised in a godly home by parents who loved the Lord and served him faithfully through their church!

After church, we would all crowd around that beautiful, oak, pull-out table…By the way, that table is still in the family! Jon and Tracie, Rylie and Coltin eat at that table every day in Rockledge, Florida!

After that meal, it was time to pack up the cars so that each of us could head home.

BUT, there was a tradition to closing those weekends. My dad would gather us all in the living room where he would ask us all to kneel. He would then lead us in a prayer in which he would pray a blessing over each one of us in order. It was a precious bonding time for our family! It was followed, of course, with lots of hugs and kisses and words of affection as we piled into our cars and left for our individual homes.

I can only imagine the loneliness that mom and dad felt as they watched the last car disappear around the bend. I’m sure he wrapped his arm around his treasured Hazel, gave her a squeeze and said something about all her hard work in making the weekend a reality!  He loved her so much! Our parents modeled a great marriage for each of us kids! We all knew that we were loved!

And friends, it’s into that loving and growing heavenly fellowship, that…

[Looking at Dick]  -  your wife

[Looking at Scott and Heather]  -  your mom

[Looking at the grandkids]  -  your Grandma

[Looking at the friends present]  -  your dear friend, Beverly

It’s into that precious, loving, heavenly fellowship that Beverly has now entered!

But far more important than family is the fact that she has finally come into the presence of Jesus – whom she loved throughout her life and to the day of her death!  Can you imagine that?

__________________________________

 Let's pray.

Our kind and loving God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit, 

We thank You for the way You blessed and watched over Beverly’s life all through these nearly eighty years!

Thank You for all in her that blessed us:

her loud laughter

her frequently repeated stories

her love for fun

her passion for worship

her desire to please her family

her committed prayer life

her love for Dick

her love for Scott and Heather

and her love for her grandchildren

and the joy she was able to take from her great grandchildren!

 

Help us, O Lord, to let go of the memories of the past two or three years

and cling to the memories that have been evoked today in this time we’ve taken to reflect on her life!

 

Help us to be grateful!

Help us to stand strong beside Dick as he moves forward without the one who stood with him in marriage since 1967.

Help us to emulate all in Beverly that was good and admirable!

Help us to use our lives to make a difference!

Help us to love one another and others.

 

If we know You, Lord, and live for You, then help us to let our light shine brightly!

If we’ve fallen away from You – call and pull us back into Your favor!

If we don’t know You yet – help us to find a quiet moment and surrender our lives into Your hands! For only then can we know the deepest of joy and peace!

 

We honor You – kind and gracious God.

                            And we pray in Jesus’ Name.                             

Amen.

A NAIL-MAKER AND A CANDY CLERK

My sister, Beverly, and I didn’t get along real well for the first eleven years of my life. In my earliest years, she was my babysitter! I came along seven years after her and displaced her as the ‘baby-of-the-family’.  We were too far apart in age to play together. We did have to work together from time-to-time. We were expected to do the evening dishes after supper. She always got to wash; I had to dry! I remember when  mom and dad would go shopping at a large department store like Kmart or Hills or Gaylords, my dad would give me a dime to spend. It sort of bothered me when I saw him giving Bev several dollars. But, by the time I hit eleven, she graduated from high school and launched her adult life in Rochester, New York. From that point on, I was raised like an ‘only child’.

Before I left home, she and Dick were married in our New Brighton home on December 2, 1967. I liked Dick – he had a really cool, blue Mustang! 🙂 They settled in the Rochester, NY area where Bev worked at Suburban Cravats tie factory and Dick worked for Tobin Meats. When I later entered the ministry, she kept me supplied with great ties! And when we went to visit, we ate lots of meat! I remember when Dick plopped a porterhouse steak on my plate, I told him that mom would have fed the whole family with that steak! 

When I started attending Roberts Wesleyan College, their house became a frequent stopping place where I could get a good meal! When I got a job working as a night watchman at the college, I used to call Dick at all hours of the night to tell him what I was doing.  He would cuss at me as I walked down the dark, deserted hallways – laughing out loud!

The next stage of engagement was after Debbie and I were married and our family was growing. My pay was ridiculously low. We chose camping as our way to have vacations because in the late 70’s and early 80’s, it was an inexpensive way to go on vacation. While we were living in East Liverpool, Bev invited us to come and camp in their back yard! So we hauled our ‘pop-up camper’ to Rochester and set it up in their back yard [I think we did this two or three years in a row!]. We played video games and swam all day in their backyard pool. We had cookouts almost every day! Bev took us to the Rochester zoo for entertainment! Bev made us great meals and we played together constantly – making some fun memories!

Then, life began to take over! My ministry began to flourish and the kids grew. We became occupied with raising our family and didn’t see one another as much as before. However, one of the good decisions that I made was to visit each of my siblings at least once every year! And I held to this legalistically even though they very rarely came to visit us.

Many of my ministry years kept us within reasonable distance from the New Brighton/Beaver Falls area. So, Jeannette and Lib made their backyard pool available to us too! Sometimes we showed up when no one was there and we just had a ton of fun swimming together as a family!  Jeannette was fifteen years older than me, so we were never close, but I interacted a lot with her sons: Tommy and Bobby [who were slightly younger than me].  We still maintain contact, but get together far too infrequently!

Ira and Joyce had moved to Canton, Pennsylvania by the time we were raising our family. Joyce hosted the whole Haire family several times; that was really great! I know once was over July 4^th and another time was over Thanksgiving. I REALLY appreciated those opportunities for us all to be together! On our annual visit to visit Uncle Ira, he would let the kids ride his quads around the yard. THEY LOVED THAT! When we moved to Spencerville, Maryland, we bought them from him during one of our annual visits. Especially Troy and Tracie rode them endlessly! Our grandkids – Rylie and Coltin – have also enjoyed them immensely when they have come to visit us!

I practiced ‘retreats’ while I was leading churches. One of the places I went to was Mt. Zion Retreat Center, less than an hour from Ira’s home. Any time that I was on retreat, we would grab breakfast together for several hours! I loved that!

But life changes!

Mom died first at the early age of 67, from complications after open heart surgery! It was 1981, just two months after Tracie was born – almost forty-four years ago!  !

Dad lived for another eleven years, dying during Family Camp in July, 1992.

On September 27, 2021, Ira died. I got to spend a wonderful day with him while Debbie and Joyce attended a bridal shower. We talked all afternoon about our parents and the way we were raised. I had always looked up to him and he had always introduced me as his ‘kid-brother’!

On December 1, 2021, Jeannette died, after a long time of gradual decline. Because I had retired and lived in Enon Valley, I was able to visit her regularly. In the earlier years, we had some great times of reminiscing! 

And now, yesterday [June 10, 2025] Beverly has succumbed to the trials of dementia and changed her residence for all eternity! [I’ll write about her soon!]

That’s a brief history of the Haire Family – so far!

Years ago, I wrote a story for our family and titled it “A Nail-Maker and A Candy-Store Clerk”. It told of a young man named Leonard [from New Brighton] who was shopping at G.C Murphy’s in Beaver Falls and saw an attractive young woman – named Hazel Walton - working at the candy counter. From what I understand, he bought a LOT of peanut clusters back in that day! After a period of courting, they were married on August 17, 1934. They started this story!

And I have to tell you that I’m feeling VERY, VERY LONELY THIS MORNING!