TRACIE ELIZABETH'S ARRIVAL

It was just several months after Troy’s birth that I came home and found Debbie feeling pretty low.  She’d been to the doctor and I was worried that she might have received a bad report.  I pressed her for details.  With tears, she burst out:  “I’m pregnant again!”  My response was immediate and spontaneous:  “That’s fantastic!”  She was instantly relieved.  After four-and-a-half-years of trying to get Troy, her birth came as a delightful surprise! 

The pregnancy was much like Troy’s.  Debbie was her healthiest when she was pregnant!  She had hardly packed her pregnancy clothes away! 

Of course, we had the same doctor and he required the same safety measures regarding this birth.  Consequently, the birth had to take place at the University Hospital in Morgantown, West Virginia.  We had to have an operating room reserved in case problems developed.  All this was necessary since Travis had been a Caesarian delivery, but Troy’s delivery had been a natural one. 

It was a bit of a nuisance to have to travel to Morgantown for doctor’s appointments, but the joy of the purpose overcame the inconvenience of the trip.  The road we traveled went through Masontown and Whitehouse and had lots of curves.  It was a challenging road to drive if you were in a hurry!  We had made the trip in a hurry some months ago [see my story, TROY BOY’S ARRIVAL].

The pregnancy went well and we reported for all of Deb’s appointments without problems.  One Wednesday night, she felt that things were coming ready to deliver and called our neighbor, Rose, to be on alert in case her contractions began. The next morning, we left Travis and Troy with Rose and made the trip to Morgantown for a regularly scheduled appointment with her doctor.  It was August 13, 1981.  We arrived at the hospital to find a new, temporary check-in system being used.  This concerned us because the line we were waiting in was long and seemed to be moving slowly. 

After a significant wait, we were seated before a relatively young, African-American man who was responsible for our intake.  I tried to field all of his questions while Debbie systematically closed her eyes and did her counting, while lightly rubbing her hands on her belly.  I could tell that the young man felt the urgency!  He began to break out in sweat and occasionally mopped his forehead with his handkerchief.  FINALLY, we were cleared to head to her doctor’s office to report for her appointment!

Her condition was quickly recognized to be urgent there and she was admitted and rushed to the labor room!  Things can move quickly in a hospital when they need to! 

When I finally was allowed to join her in the labor room, she was in a hospital gown and in the stirrups with the doctor all ready to assist with the delivery.  That’s when everything stopped!

No contractions!  No discomfort.  The doctor was concerned and placed a tap on the baby’s head.  The read-out indicated no stress on the baby;  it was okay.  He smiled and said that sometimes this just happens and that we would have to wait for Debbie’s body to signal the impending delivery. 

At that point, I was standing on her left side while holding her hand and encouraging her.  The anesthesiologist was a foot away at her head.  He suggested that I pull a stool over to be close to Debbie – since we were obviously in for a delay of unknown length.  Before I did so, I leaned in and whispered to her that she was lucky to be able to have her pastor with her in the delivery room!  She smiled and squeezed my hand.  As I walked away to get the stool, the anesthesiologist leaned down and asked her:  “Is he really your pastor?”   Ha ha ha…  Debbie delightfully reported that ‘Yes’ I was her pastor, but also her husband!  We all had a good laugh at that!

After about a fifteen minute wait, Debbie’s body resumed the delivery process and within a few minutes, we had our third child!  Excitedly, I reported:  “It’s a girl!”  She was born around 2:40 PM and weighed 6 pounds and 13 ounces. 

Throughout their childhood years, Tracie took great delight, from August 13 till August 24, reminding Troy that for that period they were the same age!  It was a miserable time for Troy!   

We had discussed names for boys and girls.  We wanted to stay with the T’s, although I had advocated for the girl’s name, Hannah.  Elizabeth was a family name on both sides, so we had decided to use it as a possible middle name – if we had a girl.  I had also suggested a creative combination by naming her ‘Tracibeth’;  we both liked that.  However, when the person came to ask her name for the birth certificate, she caught Debbie unprepared – so her name went down as Tracie Elizabeth Haire.  J

We were now very happy and satisfied with our little girl - as a family of five! 

I'm Glad We Didn't Stop After Two!

Tracie Elizabeth Haire Kerstetter was born on this day thirty-six years ago! She weighed six pounds and thirteen ounces.  She hardly had any hair.  For the first couple of years her Mom taped pink ribbons on her head!  She eventually developed beautiful hair!

We had agreed to name her Tracibeth, but when the nurse came around for our final decision, Debbie gave her the name above.  I've continued to call her Tracibeth through the years.

With two older brothers, she used to say "Me, too!" a lot.  That became another nickname for her.  So I occasionally referred to her as 'Me, too!'.  :-)

Early on, she exhibited an aggressive personality.  She loves to laugh!  She makes friends easily. Troy was (and is) very shy, but Tracie made lots of friends FOR HIM!!!!  

Being only eleven months apart, they grew up like twins.  They were true playmates and nearly inseparable.  She had elements of a 'Tom-boy' and could get just as dirty as the boys!

When Troy became part of the boys basketball team, she became a cheerleader!  She had church-friends and school-friends and enjoyed them all!

She has always loved and respected her brothers!  Debbie and I prayed that our kids would love each other;  they always have!

School seemed easy for her.  She has high verbal skills.  She sees all sides of an issue and can argue her thoughts effectively.  Early on, I suggested she become a lawyer;  she never warmed to that idea. I think she would have made a great one.  She has a keen sense of justice and quickly leaps to another person's defense.

We noticed, when she became a teenager, that she had a penchant for rescuing.  She frequently made friends with kids who were shut out by others.

Tracie has never fit molds.  None of our kids bought into the stereotypical 'Preacher's Kid' role!  They refused to be defined by my vocation.  Across the board, if she thought you expected a certain behavior - she would choose another response.  Some might say she has a stubborn streak, but not me.  :-)

When we were operating a licensed home for severely behaviorally challenged children, she was very supportive.  However, when we had kids that were disrespectful, she was intolerant.

She waited till she was 19 to learn to drive.  After graduating, she began her independent life by moving back to Maryland where she had a host of friends.  She moved in with her best friend, Allison (and her sister and Dad). Allison is like a daughter to us and has been a best friend to all three of our kids!  We celebrated her wedding in Maryland in early July!

Eventually, Tracie met a guy that she fell in love with.  I gave him a pretty hard time, but he stuck around.  Today, we're proud to own him as a wonderful son-in-law!

A little over a year before she married, she moved back in with us so her Mom could assist her in planning for the wedding.  I teased her because she never asked for permission;  just showed up and moved in!  We had a wonderful year together and she and I had some really special 'talk-times' that year.  She got involved at FMCC that year;  I've never had a better PowerPoint operator!!!!!  :-)

Through my growing-up years, I always noticed a trait that made itself evident on the Haire side of my family.  My Dad had five sisters and they all exhibited this trait.  It's a hard trait to capture in one word, but it includes: confidence, outspokenness, competence, having strong opinions, independence and perhaps a few others.  My sister, Beverly, has these traits;  as does my niece, Sandee.  Yep!  Tracie, too!

I have watched her for thirty-six years.  She has made me SO PROUD!  She never challenged our authority while growing up.  She never broke the trust! She was the one who ignited the practice of openly saying, "I love you!" in our one-on-one conversations within our family!

She became J. C. Penney's youngest manager while working in Maryland! She quickly rose to a similar place of respect at the same chain in Boardman (while living with us).  She worked for Home Depot a few years ago and constantly resisted their strong attempts to make her a manager.  

She is extremely well organized and leads her home with finesse.  She is a protective mother who aggressively advocates for her kids and actively plays with them.  I know superlatives abound here, but, honestly, I have never seen a better mother!

From what I can see, she and Jon have a wonderful marriage where they value and prioritize each other!  Open expressions of affection in the home are normal.

And, of course, to top it off, she and Jon have given us two precious gifts named: Rylie and Coltin!

Her heart was broken when Travis died.  She has redirected her love for Travis toward his husband, Josh!  Of course, Josh is solidly a part of our family and we love having him around!

In some ways, Tracie is a lot like Travis.  I don't talk to her every day.  We don't text a lot (except for the family texts that are quite frequent - which she usually starts).  But every once-in-a-while, I get a text saying, "What's up, Dad?" or "What are you up to?"  If she knows I'm hurting or going through a tough time, she texts: "How are you, Dad?"  And there have been a few times when she's been VERY DIRECT with me - especially if she knows her Mom is hurting!

Last year, she initiated a Haire-Family trip to Disney World in Orlando!  We made precious memories as we spent a week together (including Jon's sister and parents)!

I hope you've had a chance to meet our wonderful daughter!  I have always and will always love her. I just wish my Mom and Dad were still around to see what a wonderful woman she's become!

Me Too!

It was one of my nick-names for Tracie when she was little!  Growing up with two older brothers, she often found herself in situations that could best be quickly satisfied by simply saying those two words!

Travis:  "Dad, can I ride along with you?"
Tracie:  "Me too!"

Troy:  "Dad, could you jump on the trampoline with me?"
Tracie:  "Me too!"

Travis:  "Dad, can I watch the Cosby's tonight?"
Tracie:  "Me too!"

Troy:  "Dad, will you play catch with me?"
Tracie:  "Me too!"

She said it so often!  I loved her for it.  It showed her admiration for her brothers and her passion for life!

The spirit of "Me too!" is generally a good thing.  You see someone doing something - or even just hear that they're going to do something, and it ignites desire within you.  The seed has been planted.  You want to do this thing, too!

We even see it in the scriptures.  In John 21, Peter - in a state of confusion after Jesus' death and resurrection - says:  "I'm going fishing."  Six of his friends say:  "Me too!"  And what a day they had!

I guess the spirit of "Me too!" involves an impression-maker and an impression-taker.  One person creates the idea and another jumps on the bandwagon.

I think I'm both.  Sometimes, I come up with ideas that others commend and even participate in.  Isn't that what the 'Like' button is all about on Facebook?  Just another way of saying, "Me too!"  :-)

• "I like this picture, video, quote, story..."
• "I do too!"

Other times, I see what someone is doing and decide that I want to jump in on the act!  "Me too!"  Why else do so many young men wear their baseball caps sideways?  They saw someone else do it and thought it was cool!  So be it.  

Some years ago, when I first started Facebooking, I joined up because I didn't want to be a dinosaur.  In doing so, I decided however, that I would try to be a positive force on this media.  So far, I think I've succeeded.  No rants yet. Tempted, but successful in fighting off the need.  

I decided to be a one-man force to create positivism.  'Like' lots of people's stuff. Make lots of friends.  Post jokes and funny stories.  Publicize devotional materials.  Spread happiness and Christian love.  

And maybe - just maybe - we can start a "Me too!" revolution!  

Hey, I see what Brenda and Hal and Charlie and Kathy and Tracey and so many others are doing;  and I'm going to do it too!  I'm going to add value to the positive side of life;  we all come by enough negativity just by traveling through this world!  I'm going to lighten loads not add to burdens.

I recently read a post that commented about people who have "no good" in them.  I couldn't 'Like' that post. I know there are really negative, bitter, broken, angry, depraved people in this world.  But I just can't bring myself to agree that there is "no good" in them.  Maybe I can't see it or draw it out, but the image of God is there!  I need to honor that!  I can give them time, or space, or attention, or affirmation, or lots of other things.  Goodness, truth be known, some days I feel pretty lousy, myself!  

So, I'm still trying to plug along saying nice things and posting humorous things and telling jokes and writing inane blog articles - just trying to make the journey a little more enjoyable.  

My most valuable mentor taught me to hold the crown high above people's heads and wait for them to grow into it.  She did that better than anyone I know.  When I watched her do it, in my spirit I said, "Me too!"  

Future Expectations

It was probably 1987.  Travis would have been 11, Troy 7, and Tracibeth 6.

It was warm weather - probably summer.  I was running somewhere on an errand and the kids decided - as always - that it would be more fun running with Dad than staying at home.

Tracie - always the quickest - hollered out "Shotgun!"  So, she got to ride up front with me with Travis and Troy in the back seat. 

By the way, Troy never got to sit up front.  Travis and Tracie were always quicker on the draw.  Occasionally, I would tip Troy off ahead of time to give him an advantage.  Some of those times, he managed to get the front seat.

We were living on Thompson Avenue in East Liverpool, Ohio.  My friend, Ron Kelly, once told me that East Liverpool isn't the armpit of Ohio, but you can see it from there.  Our house was on the edge of a cliff overlooking Chester, West Virginia and the Ohio River.  We used to keep track of coal barges going up-and-down the river from the cozy 'river room' on the back of our house.

That day, as I drove up Thompson Avenue, I engaged the kids in conversation - as I always tried to do.  I started with Tracie and asked her what she thought she wanted to be when she grew up. 

I hold the opinion that an important role of fathers is to help their children believe that they can be anything they want to be! 

This was clearly a new thought to her (little wonder at age 6) and she had no idea.  I suggested that she would make a great lawyer when she grew up;  she didn't seem fond of that idea.   Hmmm...I still think she would make a great lawyer:  quick-thinking, intelligent and aggressive! 

Then I turned to Travis with the same question.  No hesitation on his part:  "I wanna be a vet."

Before I could even ask Troy - always the admirer of his brother - he spouted off:  "I want to be a convertible!" 

LIVING WITHOUT POWER

Debbie and the kids were out running errands.  Deb had to stop to drop some things off to a friend who lived in a cul-de-sac. 

As she turned down the street, Tracie (who had just begun to read) commented:  "Mom, I feel sorry for the people who live on this street."

Deb:  "Why, honey?"

Tracie:  "Because they don't have any electricity."

Deb:  "What makes you think that?"

Tracie:  "Because the sign says 'No Outlet'"

Lots of people are living without spiritual power today.  They're trying to make it on their own.  They think they can get by without God.

Many acquire wealth, prestige, even popularity;  only to find that there's something still missing.  Getting to the top of the pile isn't as satisfying as they expected it to be.  Things don't satisfy.  Wealth doesn't satisfy.  Position doesn't satisfy.  Even power doesn't satisfy.

So, what does bring genuine contentment?

A relationship with the One who made you and gave you your purpose!   That - and only that!

Tap into the power!