WE CAN DO THIS, DAD!

In 2016, we arranged to rent a lot in Heron Woods [small retirement village in extreme western Pennsylvania] from our landlords, Gene and Carol Whalen.  We prepared the site, shopped for a manufactured home and finally bought one with plans to have it delivered and set up.  This was to be our retirement home and we were quite excited about it. By the end of the summer, we were pretty settled and began thinking about buying or building a two-car garage. Our son, Troy, was insistent that we should build it. He explained that his father-in-law [also our friend and former parishioner], Mark Noel, had volunteered to design it and would walk us through the building process.

Troy talked me into it and we began the process in September.  I was still leading a church in Kittanning, PA, so we sometimes worked together and sometimes worked individually [based on my schedule and Troy’s fire-fighter schedule].  Over the next several months, we followed Mark’s plans and instructions to the ‘T’.  We also stood together and watched scores of ‘youtube’ videos!  

In short, it was the most enjoyable project I have ever been involved in!  Troy and I thoroughly loved being together so much and engaging in such a productive project!  Mark worked with us on days that he was available.

Having been a home-builder for over twelve years, he was a masterful guide and coach.  I believe he actually worked far more on the garage than he had originally planned. 

On certain big days – like setting the trusses – we called in help from nephews, brother-in-laws, neighbors and friends.  I was overwhelmed with the gift of time and skill that was given to our project! 

  

God gave us a wonderful fall to proceed with our building!  We actually had the garage floor and entrance apron poured a few days before Thanksgiving Day!  We were nailing shingles on a snowy day!  My vehicles were in the unfinished garage for the winter.  Then, come spring, we worked hard to put the finishing touches on our project: electrical work, installing a propane heater, hanging plasterboard, sealing and painting and adding additional sidewalks. 

I have been enjoying this awesome garage for seven years now!  There’s hardly a time I enter it without appreciating all the help I received in making it a reality!  Mark and Troy particularly went to extra lengths to make sure that everything was near-perfect!  When I close the man-door, I can feel the pressure on my ears!  The heater warms it within a few minutes of being turned on!  My F-250 truck actually fits [although there’s not much room to move around it and I have to fold the mirrors in to enter and exit 😁]. 

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I’m sure you hear the pride and gratitude that I feel!

Recently, I’ve been cleaning the garage after over a year of just piling stuff up.  I came across a few sheets of graph paper that Mark had provided to Troy as we began the project.  It was a general layout for the layout of the purlins [the horizontal timbers that will support the rafters of a roof].  Another page had detailed instructions for the setting of our poles and the follow-up steps to siding the walls. 

                             

A few months earlier, I had come across more detailed instructions of the later stages of our building process.  After all this time, I am freshly reminded of the gift that Mark gave when he encouraged us to take on this project!  I can’t imagine the hours that he invested in drawing, thinking, and writing notes for us to follow!  PLUS, he spent many hours on the job actually helping us – especially on critical days of important tasks! 

How do you repay a gift like that?  Although I expressed my gratitude through some gifts along the way, it fell far short of the investment Mark made in the garage and seeing it through to completion! 

The same goes for Troy!  He pushed me uncomfortably to take on the project!  However, it was one of the most meaningful times for us to share! 

If I hadn’t listened, I would probably have bought a pre-fab garage that would have been FAR INFERIOR to what I have today! 

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So many people have made investments when it comes to my needs and wants.  I hope that I have done the same in such a gratuitous manner. 

How about you?  Have you inconvenienced yourself to help someone else reach their goals?  Have you invested – at significant cost – in the dreams of another?  Giving doesn’t just involve wrapped or monetary gifts; sometimes it means giving expertise, counsel, time, skill and other means of investment.   

Maybe it's an age thing, but I seem to be realizing a deeper gratitude at this stage of my life for the people who have helped me along on this journey!  My life surely wouldn't be where it is without their investments!  I'm thankful to God for each and every one of them!  

TUCKED AWAY ON THE FLY-LEAF OF MY MIND

I picked this phrase up from a camp evangelist who used it many years ago; I think his name was David Clardie.

I do not use the phrase, but it occurred to me as I was reading in Genesis 37 this morning.  

The storyline in this chapter takes place after Jacob [son of Isaac, grandson of Abraham] settled in the land of Canaan.  This is the point when Joseph's story takes off.  He is seventeen as this chapter begins and helps his brothers watch the flocks of his father.  Joseph is spoiled!  He is the son of Rachel, Jacob's true love; even though he also had children by Leah [Rachel's older sister] and each of their maidservants: Bilhah and Zilpah.  

Joseph has dreams of grandeur that he unwisely shared with his family.  These dreams portrayed him as someone that his brothers - and even his parents - would someday admire and even honor.  

Obviously, they were all offended by these dreams!  Even Jacob [now known as Israel] seems to scold Joseph:

"What kind of dream is this? Do you actually think that your mother and I and your brothers are going to bow down before you?"  [Genesis 37:10  -  All quotes from The Voice Bible unless otherwise noted.  Remember that this paraphrase prints all words that are not in the original text in italics.]

The very next verse tells us something interesting that is often true for parents:

"Joseph's brothers had become extremely jealous of him.  But his father - though he scolded Joseph - kept this dream in the back of his mind."

It's just something that we do as parents.  We watch our kids grow up and we hold onto thoughts as a result of observations we make.  Sometimes we share these thoughts with our spouses, sometimes we don't.  

Mary did this with Jesus!  

After the shepherds visited the manger scene, we find these words:

"Mary, too, pondered all of these events, treasuring each memory in her heart."  [Luke 2:19]

Later, after Jesus - at the age of twelve - stays behind in Jerusalem and Joseph and Mary have to return to find Him, we find this recorded:

"His mother continued to store these memories like treasures in her heart."  [Luke 2:51]

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Surely - if you're a parent - you can identify with this practice.  Perhaps some of us are more prone to this activity due to natural introspective tendencies, but notice that our two illustrations include a man [Israel] and a woman [Mary]!  

I recall sharing one of these observations with Debbie as we sat in our living room in East Liverpool [where our kids grew up].  Travis was four-and-a-half-years older than Troy - to the day!  All three kids were playing on the floor when it hit me.  I simply said [pointing to Travis], "This one is going to make a living with his brain..."  Then I followed [pointing to Troy] "...and this one is going to make a living with his hands."

Travis graduated from the United States Naval Academy and went on to be fully trained in their nuclear program where he ran the reactor on the various subs that he was assigned to.  He attained these things without being an egghead!  He had a wonderful sense of humor and was greatly loved by family and many friends!  He attained the rank of Lieutenant Commander in the U.S. Navy and ended his career planning strategic assignments for the Navy Seal Team based in Honolulu, HI.  *

Troy went a different route.  He initially learned a trade as an upholsterer [as a teenager].  He still uses this skill today as a sidebar.  In Savannah, he worked for Gulfstream Aerospace Corporation [the largest manufacturer of private aircraft] as an upholsterer.  While living with his brother, Travis, for a couple of years he began volunteering as a firefighter.  After years of investment, he transferred to Boardman, OH where he just completed an intensive year of training as a Fire Medic!  

Troy visited one day last week.  We knocked down a tree that had died a few years ago.  I couldn't get my chain saw to run.  Troy quickly took it apart, repaired it and had it running in moments.  I was mesmerized!  He has a skill package that I admire so much!  It's intuitive to him.  I - on the other hand -  am a butcher when it comes to mechanics!  By the way, Troy graduated from high school with a higher GPA than Travis!  :-)

I love both of these sons!  I am proud of each of their accomplishments!  I marvel at the things they've done!  

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These observations don't need to be written down.  Somehow, they imprint themselves on our brains and in our memories!  

This is what parents do!  They observe, support, encourage, prod, rescue, correct, guide, suggest, cheer, affirm, finance, and stand behind their kids ALL THE WAY!  

They make observations without showing preference!  They love their kids and stand behind them to help them make 'their' dreams become a reality!  We do NOT live out our dreams through their lives!  We facilitate their dreams to the best of our ability without showing bias or favor!  Many lives have been deeply damaged by parents who favored one while neglecting others - a pitfall we must be diligent to avoid!  

In Psalm 127:3-5, Solomon speaks of his sons [pardon the male language - daughters are certainly included]!

Know this: children are a gift from the Eternal; the fruit of the womb is His reward.  Your sons born in your youth are a protection, like arrows in the hand of a warrior.  Happy is the man whose quiver is full, for they will help and protect him when he is old.  He will not be humiliated when he is accused at the gate, for his sons will stand with him against his enemies.

The parenting role never ends!  It changes significantly, but never ends!  We maintain contact with our children and continue to support and help them without being intrusive!  

And just so you know that I also treasure our daughter, I watched her back in March while we visited.  She amazes me over and over again by her deep commitment to her marriage and family!  

It was the celebration of our grandson Coltin's, fifteenth birthday.  She made a massive display of a bread charcuterie with a wide array of treats and succulent surprises!  Both sets of grandparents were at the table for the first time!  Tracie carefully seated us and then took her place right between Rylie and Coltin!   :-)   She - and, of course, Jon as well - are clearly the center of their lives at this stage!  I marvel at the depth of commitment to these two maturing adolescents!  

Debbie and I pray for them from a distance [they live in Florida].  We text with them weekly to try to remain a part of their lives.  They are our only grandchildren!  We treasure them!  We make as many memories with them as our exposure allows! 

Tracie was a little 'Tom-boy'.  She was an adventurer and a rescuer.  She is deeply committed to her friends and I have many memories of her tucked away in my heart and mind!  

It's what parents do!  

*  Travis died in October, 2015.

TROY AND I - ON THE TRAIL

We lived in Spencerville, Maryland at the time.  It was probably the fall of 1995 - early November.  We had decided to go home to Pennsylvania to visit family.  Troy would have just turned fifteen three months earlier.  

I hadn't been backpacking in a while and asked Troy if he'd like to do several days with me on the Laurel Highlands Trail - near the Seven Springs Ski Resort.  He quickly agreed and we started laying our plans.  Being late fall, the weather can be unpredictable, but we were already beyond turning back!

Debbie and Tracie dropped us off at Seven Springs to a surprise of 2-3 inches of snow.  Already, we had some misgivings about the footwear we had chosen.  We donned our backpacks and headed down the ridge-trail disappearing into the white scenery - choosing our steps carefully to stay upright.

Because of the lateness of the day, we had planned a short hike of three miles - to the Grindle Ridge area - before hitting our shelter for the night.  The shelter is a nicely constructed lean-to with a large fireplace taking up much of the open side.  We gathered enough wood to get us through the night, then sat on the edge of the floor staying close to the fire.  We were cold!  Our feet were wet!  Troy, in particular, had cold feet.  I later wished that I had tucked them into my midsection to warm them.  He told me the next morning that he had been miserable all night!

We traditionally brought frozen T-bone steaks for our first night on the trail.  We wished we had brought a tarp to block the wind from our enclosure.  We weren't miserable, but we weren't far from it!  We saw lights pull into the shelter area and I knew it was my ranger-friend, Pete.  Gradually, he made it to our shelter and reported that he was there to take us out.  The temperature was expected to drop to well below zero overnight.  

The male ego is a dangerous thing!  We looked at those steaks cooking and felt the adrenaline of a challenge.  In a moment of bravado and stupidity, I announced to Pete that we'd be alright.  We watched with uncertainty as he pushed through the snow and drove back out of the shelter area.  [Keep in mind that this was the pre-cell-phone era!]

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A CAVEAT:

Of course, Debbie and Tracie continued their trip home.  Not too long after dropping us off, they stopped - on the PA Turnpike - for gas.  After gassing up, they walked across the parking lot to the service area for a restroom break.  They later reported looking toward the dark mountains as they hugged themselves to stay warm and had a sense of foreboding as they thought of us on the trail in this severe cold!

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We had already set up our tent.  After devouring our steak and hanging our bear bag, we crawled inside and slipped into our sleeping bags.  We were cold and the wind blew relentlessly shaking our tent and fueling our fire.  I got up several times that night to feed the fire - knowing how essential it would be to be able to get warm and cook breakfast the next morning.  

After breakfast, we quickly broke camp knowing that we had almost twelve miles to complete - with short daylight - before arriving at the Ohiopyle camping area.  We fairly quickly dropped to lower elevations and left the snow behind.  The subtle and chronic elevation changes kept us warm, but also wore me out.  I was forty-three and not in the best of shape [at the time of this writing, Troy is forty-three].  😊

I remember that we found a nice rock and stump to sit on as we ate our lunch.  In spite of the hazards and my exhaustion, it was fun being on this adventure with Troy!  I told him that I was really tired but that we had to get to the Ohiopyle camping area or Pete would be out looking for us.  

Miles nine and ten involved a steady, relatively steep climb.  I slowed, but continued.  I never verbalized it to Troy, but I was worried as the temperature started dropping again and the winds picked up!  

Miles eleven and twelve were all downhill which was, in a way, a blessing!  However, when you're hiking at a point of near-exhaustion, just picking your feet up to take the next step is a chore!  But finally, we reached the side-trail to the camping area - in the darkness.  We hiked past several groups of hikers who were enjoying their evening meal.  When we found our shelter, I gave Troy some instructions:

"Troy, I have nothing left!  You need to get our tent up and get me into my sleeping bag as soon as possible!  Gather some wood and start a fire.  Hang our bear-bag and then get into your bag to get warm."

He did everything that evening!  He put the tent up and got me out of my boots and into my bag.  I don't remember much after that - except the clanging of pots and pans that Troy had apparently hung from some shelves in the shelter.  I woke to him climbing into his bag and checking on me.  I could see the flickering of his fire as I fell back into a deep sleep!

I woke up in the pitch dark several hours later and realized that Troy was awake as well.  I asked him how he was doing.  He said he was hungry.  I was too!  I asked him to get our cans of Dinty Moore Stew, a can opener, two forks and our small stove; also to feed the fire!  

We sat in our tent and cooked our stew in the cans and ate them - smiling!  We agreed that it was the best meal we'd ever had [no offense, Debbie!]  Then, with full stomachs and a blazing fire lighting our tent, we slept until morning!

After breakfast I made a hard call to abandon the trail to Ohiopyle which included two relatively steep mountains that we had to go up and over.  Instead, we packed up and hiked out via the railroad tracks that ran along the Ohiopyle River.  

We snacked at the shops in Ohiopyle and watched the rafters and kayakers for hours before officially ending our trip!  A memory made that we would NEVER forget!

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ANOTHER CAVEAT:

Years later, a friend of mine from Akron - who I introduced to backpacking - Derek, took his son on a trip on the Laurel Highlands Hiking Trail.  Derek is a man who makes friends easily and he befriended the ranger who had replaced Pete.  As they talked, Derek mentioned that I had introduced him to this trail.  Then he mentioned our horrible experience in the cold at the Grindle Ridge Shelter Area.  

The new ranger's face lit up and he told Derek that Pete had told him about the father-and-son who had chosen to stay on a twenty-below night because they didn't want to leave their steaks!  They had a good laugh together and Derek called me when he got home to let me know that Troy and I had become a legend!  :-)

EACH OF US IS AN ORIGINAL

I used my pressure washer on Saturday to clean my truck.  At the end it was blowing a spray out of the side, but it still seemed to work long enough for me to finish the job. 

Sunday afternoon, my son, Troy, came by to borrow the truck to get his giant pumpkin to the Canfield Fair.  He asked about borrowing the pressure washer, too.  I told him about the problem I had encountered.  In less than a minute, he had identified the problem.

This morning in our usual text-exchange, he told me he’d ordered the part and would soon have it fixed.  Then he promised to use it immediately and return it. 

Now, let me explain that this would have been a huge issue for me!  I’m NOT mechanical!  I’m not good at fixing things!  I can do some things, of course, but I often refer to myself as a ‘butcher’.  😂 

Troy’s and my gifts couldn’t be more extreme!  We knew when he was very young that he would make a living with his hands!  He was always at my side learning and wanting to participate in anything I was doing. 

My gifts are more relational.  I’m a pastor, a speaker, a writer and a counselor – the humanities.  Troy’s not much interested in these areas.  J

We’re both good men!  We each love the Lord and seek to serve Him to the best of our abilities!  Our VERY DIFFERENT ABILITIES! 

If I’m honest, I’d have to admit that I envy Troy (and others like him).  I wish I had that set of skills and ability!  Sometimes the gifts that I have don’t seem very valuable.  It discourages me when I can’t fix something and have to call Troy (or a friend) for help! 

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I just read and summarized Galatians 5 this morning – a rather lengthy process.  As I came to the end of the chapter, I came across these words [which inspired this post]:

"…the life of the Spirit…means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse…Each of us is an original.”   [Galatians 5:25-26  TM]

It was an ‘ouchee’ moment for me as I sat quietly before the Lord. 

To envy others is to deny the marvelous ingenuity of God in making me who I am!  I am an original!  So is Troy!  I celebrate his gifts and love him for who he is!  I also celebrate the gifts God has given me! 

Are you getting this?

Don’t look at others and envy them!  Don’t do it! 

Maximize what God has given you!  Live for His glory – not yours!  You too ARE AN ORIGINAL!  Take full advantage of that!  And praise the Lord! 

TROY BOY'S ARRIVAL

It was supposed to be a BIG SUNDAY!   I had been leading the McClellandtown Free Methodist Church for over two years.  We had seen significant growth in the congregation through new converts.  This particular Sunday, August 24, 1980, I was scheduled to baptize nearly thirty people in a lake following our morning worship.  Woo Hoo!

Early that morning, Debbie being pregnant with our second child, woke to her water breaking.  She called me and told me that it was time to go to the hospital.  Sunday morning!

Travis had been born via a Caesarian Section, but we hoped for our next child to be a natural birth.  It had been four-and-a-half-years, but our doctor still recommended the University Hospital in Morgantown.  We had to have an operating room on stand-by in case any problems developed.  McClellandtown was a forty-five minute drive from the hospital on a back road that went north, east, south and west to get there! 

Debbie immediately called our next-door-neighbor, Rose, to watch Travis while we were gone.  Rose was a member of our church and was excited for us.  I immediately called a Lay Minister in our congregation, Mike Dunham, and asked if he could preach for me that morning.  I had put him on notice jokingly a month earlier;  little did we know that he would actually have to do it.  He agreed!  Then I called my Superintendent, Ralph Page, and asked if he could attend the baptism service and fulfill my responsibilities there.  He also agreed!

We grabbed the necessities and began our twisting journey.  First, we drove through Masontown, Pennsylvania, and dropped down into a long valley on the other side.  As I flew along with Debbie rubbing her belly and counting to herself, we passed the Dunham family heading toward the church.  They saw us and we exchanged horn toots and vigorous waving.  [I would find out later that week that they ran out of gas immediately after passing us.  Mike had to walk into town for gas which made them late for church.  No cell phones in 1980.  But Rose, filled everyone in and Mike eventually made it in time to preach.  J]

The trip was chaotic!  I drove as fast as I could and still be safe!  Debbie was doing her Lamaze training to try to stay calm and focused.  I was flying! 

Finally, we arrived at the hospital and I parked at the emergency entrance.  I helped Debbie out of the car and we entered the hospital.  We received assistance quickly and she was placed in a wheel chair and taken from me to the labor room.  I was instructed to go to admit her.  I did so as quickly as possible and then flew up to the labor room. 

Everything had been prepared and all precautions were in place.  Troy was delivered without much difficulty at 1:40 PM. I remember telling Debbie that we had another boy!   What an exciting day for us!  We were so happy to have another baby in our arms.  Within moments after his birth, he was wrapped in blankets and placed on Debbie’s stomach – inches from where he’d been moments ago! 

Eventually, Debbie was moved to a room and Troy was taken to the nursery.  Debbie was exhausted, but it was a wonderful exhaustion!  We celebrated the tremendous joy of having grown our little family.  During this time, I made calls to grandparents, family and other friends to announce our joyful news.  We named the baby, Troy William Haire.  Travis bore my father’s middle name and now Troy would bear her father’s middle name! 

The afternoon passed quickly and soon it was early evening.  The churches of the Uniontown District were holding August Sunday Evening Worship services at the campground.  I decided that I would attend this service and proudly announce the birth of our second child!  I said good-bye to Deb and headed out of the hospital.

That’s when it hit me!  I had left my car in the emergency entrance with the doors open and the motor running earlier that morning!  As I exited through the ER, of course – NO CAR!   I went back to the nurses station and asked if they knew anything about my car.  They told me that the shift had changed and they had no knowledge of the whereabouts of my car.  I asked if there were any keys on their desk and they eventually produced my key ring.  Security was unable to help me.  So, I exited the building and began my search.  Before long I thought I saw it on a far corner of the parking lot.  After a long walk, I did discover it.  The security person taught me a lesson that day!  I made it to the service and then later picked up Travis.  That’s how we began our lives as a family of four.

BLESSINGS ON CORNERSTONE

Our family showed up at Cornerstone Church in March, 1996.  We arrived after a spiraling period of confusion and chaos.  After leading a church in Spencerville, MD for two-and-a-half years, I resigned because of a family crisis.  We packed all our belongings up in the two-car garage (with the church's permission) and headed for the Whippo family farm in western Pennsylvania.

After a month with Debbie's parents, we moved to an apartment in an empty building in Chester, WV (rent-free, courtesy of a special friend).  I spent the next several months looking for any kind of a job that would produce income.  Finally, Debbie and I interviewed with the Shelter Care social serving agency in Akron, OH.  Short story:  we were hired and began work about two weeks later.

At first, we lived in Cuyahoga Falls.  On Sunday, we knew we'd attend the Cornerstone Church;  we had attended seminary at the same time as Charlie and Brenda Young.  We'd heard of the stability, vision and growth of this congregation and were excited to be a part of their ministry. 

I called ahead to get the times for worship.  We arrived early:  me, Debbie, Troy (15) and Tracie (14).  We stood in the foyer waiting for the first service to end.  As the service time grew closer, the foyer began to fill!  Eventually, we were pushed over to the entrance to the office suite.  More and more people crowded into this limited space.  We could hear the worship team leading the congregation in the closing song.  Excitement was building!  By now the room was so packed with people, I wondered how anyone would get out of the service.  

Suddenly, the ushers (I remember that Dave Potter was one of them) pushed the doors open and people started streaming for the front doors!  Amazingly, the crowd parted as they passed through.  People were high-fiving us as they left the building, giving hints of what we should expect!  At one point Troy (over 6' tall) leaned over to me and told me, "Dad, I think I'm going to like this church!"  We were all feeling the excitement;  I asked him why?  His response was golden:  "There're a lot of good-looking girls that attend here!"  :-)

Gradually, we were able to squeeze through the crowd and enter the sanctuary.  People were literally running to get seats!  Dave Haydu was the worship leader at the time;  he did a great job!  The music was new to us and invigorating spiritually.  Brenda Young's message was on-target!  We knew we had found our new church.

That very day, the congregation was saying farewell to an associate pastor.  As a result, Brenda fairly quickly asked if I was allowed (by Shelter Care) to hold another position.  In a matter of weeks, I started as a part-time associate.  In June, her other associate left to attend seminary.  I stepped into the full-time role of Lead Associate and stayed for nearly six years.

Being free of the lead role, I was able to work in areas of strength and develop relationships.  I trained several Men's Ministry Teams while there.  I did a lot of oversight of the nearly twelve members of the staff (many were part time).  I picked up the nickname of the guy who wore many hats.

Our lives were on full-throttle during these years.  The Cornerstone family accepted us completely.  They also enfolded the many children and youth that we brought from our shelter home!  We felt so blessed to be part of this phenomenal work of God.  Cornerstone is the only church I've ever known where seventy-five percent of the congregation are first-generation believers!  It may sound like an exaggeration to say that we saw commitments to Christ EVERY WEEK - but it's the truth!

Jim Stetler became a role model and dear friend during these years.  He's one of the most amazing evangelists and disciplers that I have personally known.  He was tenacious!  I admire him deeply!

Working with Brenda was a highlight of my career!  I learned so much from watching her and sitting under her ministry!  She is an exceptional leader who invests deeply and places great demands on her staff!  I will be fore ver grateful for the investment she made in my life and ministry!

Our time in Akron was fraught with ongoing family dilemmas and stresses.  Our Cornerstone family coddled us and our kids and our shelter kids.  The prayers of God's people saw us through a seven-year process of recovery.  And praise the Lord, Troy remained in Akron and at Cornerstone even when we moved on to New Middletown.  He became established in his faith and began to participate as a leader in the young adult ministry!  Thanks be to God.

It was when we arrived at Cornerstone that I decided to change my name.  On our first Sunday, I asked Brenda if she would help me do that.  I had always disliked the name Harold, so, with her help everyone in Akron began to know me as Hal.  :-)  [It's short for Hallelujah!]

There are SO MANY stories that could be told.  In the late fall of the same year we arrived, I stepped in temporarily as worship leader.  The connection with the people was so strong that I continued that role until we left in the summer of 2003.  The church grew to three services during that season and we were thrilled to be a small part of it!

We were led into ministries that we would never have dreamed of.  Debbie came to lead a Bible study for a group of women who were trying to break away from destructive life patterns.  She remembers mentioning Moses in the first study meeting;  these women said they'd heard his name, but wanted to know who he really was.  We were called to some of these homes for crisis interventions at all hours of the day (or night).  They became our newest friends!  God was so gracious and kind to work in us and through us during these years!

Gradually, my role emerged to be more of counseling than anything else.  Brenda also counsels.  We also had a counseling center in the church staffed by members of the congregation:  Cornerstone Care!  We were constantly reaching people who were caught in the perils of life and were looking for a lifeline!

Discerning and training leaders was a major part of our role!  No one does that better than Brenda Young!  She taught me to hold the crown over people's heads and let them grow into it!  [Those who know Brenda have heard those words before...]

I feel the pain of the current congregation as they leave a building that has many memories.  However, I am fully confident that He who began a good work in you, WILL COMPLETE IT until the day of Jesus Christ!  Keep the ministry strong, Cornerstone people!  Keep loving and caring for those who need it!  Keep snatching them from the fire!  God isn't finished with you YET!!!!!  Trust Him to cover the details!

Much love and frequent prayers from Pastor Hal!!!!!!!!!

A Tribute to My Son: Troy

Over the past several weeks there has been a ton of neat stuff said about our oldest son, Travis.  He was a wonderful man and he had a lot of great qualities that were enjoyed by many people.

However, we have another son.  His name is Troy and he is thirty-five and married to a beautiful, young woman named Melissa (Missy).  They now live in New Middletown, Ohio - Missy's hometown.

Troy had to grow up in his brother's shadow.  Travis cast a BIG shadow! How do you compete with a brother who graduated from the United States Naval Academy?

Troy's answer was:  What competition?  I don't believe Troy ever saw it as a competition.  Troy - like all children - was unique from the beginning.  His big, brown eyes sucked the attention out of us.  And he always loved his siblings!

He was timid and shy from the beginning - a deep thinker and feeler.  His little sister, Tracie, came along eleven months later:  Irish Twins!  Needless to say, they were close!  What Troy lacked in chutzpa - Tracie made up for!  We often said:  "Troy never had a friend that Tracie didn't bring to him!"

Troy and Tracie became words that just naturally went together!  After all, Travis was four-and-a-half years older than Troy which makes a world of difference when you're young.  They did occasionally play together though.  I remember a time when we lived on Hill Boulevard in East Liverpool.  It was probably 1985; Travis would have been 9, while Troy and Tracie would have been 5 and 4.  I looked out the kitchen window one day and caught them! Travis was operating the garage-door opener.  As the door went up, either Troy or Tracie would grab the handle for a ride to the top.  Travis would giggle and hold them there till they screamed in panic - then he would lower them back to the ground!  Hilarious!

Troy grew up to be interested in sports, bikes, trampolines, fishing and exploring the hillside behind our house on Thompson Avenue with his best friend, Morgan. School was tough!  Homework was hard.  He would spend hours working at the table trying to get it all done!  Over and over, I felt sorry for him.  What had come easy for Travis, came hard for Troy!  The interesting thing is - and most people are surprised to hear this - Troy graduated with a higher GPA than Travis!

He went through some hard times and got pretty distracted for a few years, but he eventually - by God's grace - got himself established.

He left home at 19, and bought his own house.  Then, for a brief period of time, even co-owned a couple more houses.  He became skilled as an upholsterer and still does this work as a side job.  He held several other jobs as well, even cooking in a chain restaurant for a while.

When we left Akron, Troy became very involved in the Cornerstone Free Methodist Church and even participated in a leadership role.  He grew into his own man during this time.

A desire for change and adventure led him to visit his brother in Savannah, Georgia for a summer;  that turned into his new home!  He found work as an upholsterer with a small company that did work for Gulf Stream.  He fell in love with Savannah and made his home there until April of this year.

While there, he volunteered as a fire-fighter and eventually was hired by the South Side Fire Department - fulfilling a long-held dream!  He continues to do that work today although now he serves with the Boardman, Ohio Fire Department.

Troy makes a great fireman!  He has no fear!  He loves adventure!  He feeds on risk and will tackle any job.  He stretches me every time I'm around him.

Troy is tall and strong and friendly.  To meet him is to love him.  He treats everyone the same.  He doesn't see people as big/small or important/insignificant;  he sees people as......people!  As a result almost everyone enjoys being around him.

He loves dogs.  Sippy and Annsley have been this man's best friends!  They both have adored him!

While we were in the throes of despair in Hawaii a few weeks ago, I saw Troy in a new light.  When Josh, Debbie and I were paralyzed with pain and sadness, Troy stayed sharp!  When the doctors spoke to us, I couldn't think straight;  but Troy could!  He maintained his poise.  He stood for his brother and his family and asked the doctors critical questions.  As his father, I repeatedly found myself thinking:  "Why didn't I think to ask that?"  When critical decisions had to be made - Troy led us through those decisions!

I was so glad he was there!  I was so proud of him!  Still am!

Future Expectations

It was probably 1987.  Travis would have been 11, Troy 7, and Tracibeth 6.

It was warm weather - probably summer.  I was running somewhere on an errand and the kids decided - as always - that it would be more fun running with Dad than staying at home.

Tracie - always the quickest - hollered out "Shotgun!"  So, she got to ride up front with me with Travis and Troy in the back seat. 

By the way, Troy never got to sit up front.  Travis and Tracie were always quicker on the draw.  Occasionally, I would tip Troy off ahead of time to give him an advantage.  Some of those times, he managed to get the front seat.

We were living on Thompson Avenue in East Liverpool, Ohio.  My friend, Ron Kelly, once told me that East Liverpool isn't the armpit of Ohio, but you can see it from there.  Our house was on the edge of a cliff overlooking Chester, West Virginia and the Ohio River.  We used to keep track of coal barges going up-and-down the river from the cozy 'river room' on the back of our house.

That day, as I drove up Thompson Avenue, I engaged the kids in conversation - as I always tried to do.  I started with Tracie and asked her what she thought she wanted to be when she grew up. 

I hold the opinion that an important role of fathers is to help their children believe that they can be anything they want to be! 

This was clearly a new thought to her (little wonder at age 6) and she had no idea.  I suggested that she would make a great lawyer when she grew up;  she didn't seem fond of that idea.   Hmmm...I still think she would make a great lawyer:  quick-thinking, intelligent and aggressive! 

Then I turned to Travis with the same question.  No hesitation on his part:  "I wanna be a vet."

Before I could even ask Troy - always the admirer of his brother - he spouted off:  "I want to be a convertible!"