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Showing posts with label Genesis 27. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Genesis 27. Show all posts

Monday, February 7, 2022

BLESSING YOUR MARRIAGE AND YOUR CHILDREN!

A summary of Genesis 27:
Isaac is close to dying. 
He instructs his first-born son, Esau, to prepare a wild game meal and be ready to receive his  blessing. 
Rebekah, Isaac's wife, overhears the conversation.
Loving Jacob more, she coaches the younger son to deceive his father by impersonating his brother and stealing Esau's blessing.   
Jacob pulls it off - even though Isaac seems suspicious. 
Esau returns and discovers what has happened.  He is desperately disappointed and furious. 
He vows to kill Jacob after Isaac's death. 
Rebekah schemes to have Jacob sent to live with her brother, Laban, until Esau's temper cools.  She doesn't want him to marry a Hitite woman.

WORDS ABOUT MARRIAGE AND PARENTING

Previous glimpses of this marriage were positive in nature.  Isaac and Rebekah appeared to have a good marriage when they were younger.  But, with the birth of children, they apparently grew distant.  According to Genesis 25:28, Isaac loved Esau while Rebekah loved Jacob.   This is a recipe for disaster.  To be healthy, wealthy and wise, children need the love and attention of both father and mother!  That's why God designed marriage the way He did!  We do not have the luxury of loving one child more than the other!  

The world can be harsh!  Children will need the love and devotion of both parents to be able to make it!  Gary Smalley and John Trent claim that there are five elements to the blessing that we must provide to EACH of our children:  [THE BLESSING, 2004, Thomas Nelson Publishing]

  • meaningful touch
  • spoken words
  • expressing high value
  • picturing a special future, and
  • active commitment

When they are deprived any of these from either parent, the potential for maladjustment is increased!  

Parents must pull together to raise children in a healthy, fair, balanced environment!  Competition has its place, but siblings need to be taught that they are on the same team!  Playing 'favorites' will inevitably create jealousy, animosity and meanness!  These are destructive forces that can and will destroy relationships and lives!  

Isaac may not have understood this since he was raised as an only child.  He put great stock in the belief that the blessing went to the first-born son.  Rebekan, on the other hand, had been told by God [25:23] while her twins were still in her womb, that the older child would serve the younger.  Perhaps she was simply guilty of trying to facilitate God's revealed will.  

Rebekah's character is exposed, however, in this story.  She is an eavesdropper and a schemer who clearly acts to deceive her husband.  Although her intentions may have been right, her actions were clearly not!  

There's another point that often eludes us in this passage.  According to Isaac's blessing of Jacob, there were other brothers as well!  [27:29]

Be master of your brothers and may your mother's sons bow down to you.

How were these other children affected by this conspiratorial act?  

Isaac and Rebekah failed to cultivate a closeness and shared concern for their children.  They had apparently allowed their relationship to stagnate and develop into petty rivalries.  How sad!  The damage of such a development is always manifested in the lives of the children!  

Don't let this happen in your family!  Stay close and committed in your parenting goals.  Love one another openly and genuinely;  it is the best way to maintain health, comfort and confidence in the lives of your children!  Together, give them the blessing by studying and implementing Smalley and Trent's list [above].  

And PRAY!  Pray for wisdom, guidance, unity and grace!  Pray together!  Pray together for your children!  Pray with your children!  Never stop praying with them - even when they mature and leave home!  Keep passing them the blessing as long as you live!   

Monday, October 12, 2020

DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILES

 I'm sure you've noticed that even the word dysfunctional is spelled dysfunctionally.  :-)

Wikipedia defines a dysfunctional family:

A dysfunctional family is a family in which conflict, misbehavior, and often child neglect or abuse on the part of individual parents occur continuously and regularly, leading other members to accommodate such actions.

I think it's safe to say that Isaac and Rebekah had a dysfunctional family.  And they all suffered as a result!  

Isaac seems to have developed a preference for his first-born son, Esau.  Rebekah took a special interest in the second-born, Jacob.  We must keep a door open that her actions could have been motivated by the fact that God had told her:

“Two nations are in your womb,
    and two peoples from within you will be separated;
one people will be stronger than the other,
    and the older will serve the younger.”

 Chuck Swindoll suggests that there were other ways God could have brought this about:  

  • Truthfulness with the boys from the beginning - helping them to understand that this was God's will for their lives.
  • Equal love for both boys from both parents.  Esau could have graciously released the birth rite to Jacob in humble obedience to God's sovereign will.
  •  Jacob could have received the blessing and offered to share his wealth and privilege freely with Esau.   [Fascinating Stories of Forgotten Lives,  pp.51-69]

 Instead, Isaac and Rebekah appear to have lost the closeness of their marriage relationship.  We don't even know if she ever told Isaac about God's message regarding Isaac.  She clearly - like Jacob - practiced deception against Isaac.  While likely loving each of the boys, they played favorites.  

The end is sad!  Isaac feels betrayed.  Esau is enraged and plans to kill his brother after his father dies.  Rebekah is worried over the whole situation.  And Jacob is fearful and forced to leave his homeland.  

_________________________________

So, what is the biblical formula for a healthy marriage and family?

A Husband is to Love his Wife
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it”   
Ephesians 5:25

A Husband is to Cling to His Wife
“Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will cling to his wife: and they will be one flesh.”    Genesis 2:24     [The implication of this (and other passages) is sexual exclusivity and fulfillment.]

A Wife is to Submit to Her Husband
Wives, yield to your husbands, as you do to the Lord,  Ephesians 5:22  (New Century Version)    [Debbie always preferred the TLB version of I Peter 3:1, Wives, fit in with your husband's plans...]

Marriage is a Covenant – so God is Part of Every Marriage
“… the LORD hath been witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously: yet is she your companion, and the wife of your covenant.” Malachi 2:14     That sets it apart from other relationships!  Paul declares this unity to be a profound mystery in Ephesians 5:32.

Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness in the Home
“And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32

Train Children Early and Consistently                                                    Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” Proverbs 22:6. The Hebrew means from infancy to adolescence, while training carries the connotation of narrowing or hedging in. Training a child means appropriate instruction according to the age of the child, and it begins in infancy.

Teach Your Children about God                                                               "These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.   Deuteronomy 6:6–9. 

Hal's Personal Counsel                                                                              PRAY!  Pray alone!  Pray together as a couple!  Pray together as a family!  Pray individually with your kids!  Walk them to their beds - even when they become teens - and sit and talk with them and pray over them!  Prayer has a healing, comforting, assuring effect!  DON'T IGNORE IT!!!!!