WEAVERS OF LIFE

There’s a verse in Psalm 22 that screams of God’s cooperative venture with women! 

“You are He who brought me forth from the womb; You made me trust when upon my mother’s breasts.  Upon You I was cast from birth; You have been my God from my mother’s womb.” [vs.9-10 NASB]

After Travis’ death, I wrote a blog article titled, “A Mother’s Grief” that runs parallel to what I’m sharing here.  If you’d like to read it:  Hal-lelujah!: A Mother's Grief

God cooperates with the woman who brings a child into this world!  God arranged for the process that creates children – it was God’s plan!  Regardless of what you hear from the WOKE movement, men don’t have wombs! 

Another David psalm [#139] records: “For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them.” [vs.13-16 NASB]

What an intimate venture between God, a woman, and her husband – but especially between God, the woman and her child(ren)! 

She ‘houses’ that forming infant during its most delicate moments, days, and  months!  She shelters it!  She is its protector – night and day, 24/7.  She becomes aware of its presence fairly early!  She develops a relationship with that child LONG before it is ever born!  It draws its sustenance directly from her body! 

Her influence in those earliest days – and then after birth – will NEVER be equaled by anyone else!

I hope you see from this how significantly God has honored women through this potential!  There is nothing that compares to it! 

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However, when a child dies before its mother – which should never happen – no one will suffer more than the mother!  Whether death comes from war, suicide, accident, sickness, natural catastrophe or an act of violence – it will affect her more than anyone!  She will literally FEEL the loss!  Even if that child never gets to enter this world, the mother will FEEL the loss at a deep, deep level!  Inconsolable grief!  Pain!  The deepest sense of loss! 

And the greatest source of comfort for her – next to the arms of her husband – will be the arms of God!  He who shared the deepest intimacy of this process will also feel her pain and HE WILL RESPOND TO IT! 

If you’re feeling that pain today, turn to God – no one understands like He does!  He’s been with you in this venture since the moment of conception – AND HE CARES! 

A PAINFUL DAY FOR MANY

Mother's Day was a BIG DEAL back in the days when I was growing up!  Every mother [and often every woman] received a potted plant.  Awards were given to:

• the oldest mother
• the youngest mother
• the mother with the most children (Deb's Mom almost always got that one)
• The newest mother, and so on...

Sometimes tributes were given to special moms who had served the church.  It was a festive day that was purposed to put the spotlight on women who had raised - or were raising - families.  In those days, Mother's Day was often one of the highest attendances of the year!  

When I became a pastor - around 1978 - these traditions were deeply entrenched and often took place with little or no involvement on my part.  

However, as the years passed and I began to mature in ministry, I noticed that certain regular attenders were consistently absent on this special day!  About this same time, my personal interests and giftings gradually led me to the ministry of counseling which opened a door of insight that I had never suspected or thought of.  

Mother's Day is not a joyful day for some people!   Many of them chose to stay home that day rather than have hurt feelings surface and disturb their lives for days or even weeks.  

You might wonder what could possibly cause this reaction.  However, just a little thought will make it clear.

1. Not everyone had a good mother!  Painful as it is to admit, some women are not well-equipped for this crucial role.  Perhaps it's a generational issue.  Or the pressure of having children too early or in quick succession.  Mothering young children can be overwhelming!  Some women deal with depression from the outset and struggle to know how to manage it.  It's complicated!  Those who struggle with these kinds of issues don't always know where to turn for help.
2. Mother/daughter issues are remarkably common.  Tensions arise that remain undealt with and distance separates two who love one another but who also harbor resentments or anger that has never been processed properly to usher in healing.  
3. Some lost their moms through death or divorce and don't care to be reminded of this painful reality.
4. Some women have experienced the painful loss of a child through miscarriage or the inability - for whatever reason - to bear children.  
5. Still others may have lost a child to death somewhere along the way.
6. Others may have made decisions to abort a child.
7. Then, of course, there are women who never marry and have no expectation of bearing children and raising a family.  

Fairly early on, I became increasingly aware of these many manifestations.  Gradually but certainly, I worked to diminish these grand celebrations set for May.  Besides, there were plenty of scriptures and even seasons [such as Christmas] that gave me ample opportunities to address issues related to the topics of mothering, women in leadership, and marital roles.  

Now, all of that being said, if you had a mother that you love and appreciate - HONOR HER TODAY, or your memory of her.  If you have a daughter who is doing a great job as a mother [as I do!], honor her!  If your wife has dedicated herself sacrificially to raising children and launching them into the world - be glad and heap praises on her today and often!  

However, at the same time, lift a prayer for those who may struggle today for some of the reasons listed above - or others I've overlooked.  

A MOTHER'S GRIEF - A DEEPER LEVEL

She was young, but we don't know her age.  Her name was Mary.  She was Jewish and lived in Nazareth of Galilee. It is apparent that she was not from a wealthy home.  She was a common girl. She was engaged to be married to a man named Joseph.  We can assume that she had common dreams.  Many girls in her time dreamed of being selected as the mother to the Messiah.  To be the mother of the Messiah would be the greatest thing a young, Jewish girl could aspire to.  Did Mary dream of this?

Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the descendants of David;  and the virgin's name was Mary.  And coming in, he said to her, "Greetings, favored one!  The Lord is with you."  

But she was very perplexed at this statement, and kept pondering what kind of salutation this was.  

The angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary;  for you have found favor with God.  And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name him Jesus.  

He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High;  and the Lord will give Him the throne of His father David;  and He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and His kingdom will have no end."  (Luke 1:26-33 NASB)

During her pregnancy, due to political manipulations, Joseph is forced to take Mary to Bethlehem for a census.  That is where the boy, Jesus, was born.  God used these government wranglings to fulfill the prophecy that the Messiah would be born in Bethlehem of Judea.  Throughout the birth story, we are told that Mary treasured up these things in her heart (Luke 2:19  NIV).  

She is witness to His growing up.  She kisses and coddles Him as an infant and teaches him as He grows.  She continues to treasure the memories of seeing her first-born take His first steps, speak His first words and work beside His father in the carpenter shop!  She has a mother's heart and loves her children! When the question is posed:  "Mary, did you know that when you kissed your little baby, you kissed the face of God?"  -  Yes, she knew!  

She is witness to His first miracle;  actually, she instigates His first miracle! She shows up from time-to-time during His years of ministry.  She, more than anyone, has an understanding of who He is and what His purpose is.  

Then, the tragic events unfold and we read the words:  

But standing by the cross of Jesus were His mother, 

and His mother's sister...  (John 19:25  NASB)

Who can unpack the pathos of these words?  She had seen it all!  She had treasured everything up in her heart (don't all mothers?).  She had cradled Him in her arms.  She had kissed His boo-boos and held His hands as He learned to walk.  She had taught Him manners and curbed His life in the right directions.  She had witnessed His teaching and seen His miracles.  She knew His heart!  She knew how good He was.  She knew how innocent He was! She knew He did not deserve this treatment! She knew the injustice of it all!  

Feel her pain!  Sense her grief!  She was unable to help Him.  If ever a mother felt grief - it was this day!  God had used her womb to form the Son of God! She holds a place of honor forever as the one who bore the Messiah!  

It's remarkable that the scriptures do not include any record of Jesus appearing to His mother after His resurrection.  Was she there on any of the occasions when He showed Himself?  Obviously, she knew of His resurrection!  How must this news have impacted her?  Could it be true? Did she come to understand that her son had become her Savior?  

Someday, if we hold to our faith, we'll be able to sit down with her and listen to her side of the story! We'll be rapt with attention as she unfolds the treasures of her heart!   

A Mother's Grief

I grieve the loss of our son, Travis, but my grief is significantly different than Debbie's.

This morning, I gained some insight into that difference while reading in Isaiah (in The Voice Bible).

[49:14-16]

Zion:  The Eternal One has abandoned me.  God has walked out the door; my Lord left me alone. He has forgotten all about me.   

Eternal One:  Is it possible for a mother, however disappointed, however hurt, to forget her nursing child?  Can she feel nothing for the baby she carried and birthed?  

Even if she could, I God, will never forget you.  

Look here.  I have made you a part of Me,written you on the palms of My hands.

The Voice Bible added some helpful commentary:

"There are many kinds of love - and not enough words to tell the differences. Hebrew has a word for 'love' that is related to it's word for a woman's womb. English has no such word.  It is too bad, for it is difficult to describe womb-love, the bearing-and-birthing love of a mother, the kind of love that the Lord has for the people of God's promise...God loves them in the same way a mother loves the child growing in her womb.  It can't be said so neatly and completely with one 'love' word, but that is the idea that threads its way through this text."

I walked into the living room yesterday afternoon and noticed that Debbie was curled up in her chair with a look of deep anguish and loneliness.  I immediately knew what the problem was.  In my maleness, I am often befuddled in this situation and unsure of what I should do.  However, experience has taught me to hold her, so I knelt beside her chair and wrapped my arms around her.  She caved into my arms and wailed and sobbed for long moments.  No words...

Earlier than usual (8:30 PM), she excused herself and went to bed.  I followed an hour later and again held her for a long time as she wept.  

It's been a year-and-a-half since Travis passed.  These melt-downs are less frequent now, but still occur.  I don't expect them to ever end completely.

I learned this morning that Debbie's grief is different than mine because she birthed that baby boy back in February of 1976.  She knew him intimately for seven-and-a-half-months before I did!  God used her body to form his body. Travis could have made it into this world without me being present, but he was utterly dependent on her to get him here!  

By the very nature of the process, she was more connected to him than I ever was.  Oh, I loved him and love him still.  I long to talk with him.  He was the pride of my life!  But my grief will NEVER compare to Debbie's!  

Interestingly, Troy and Missy had shared hours and a meal with us during the afternoon.  Just a week ago we spent time with Tracie and Jon, Rylie and Coltin.  We're deeply grateful for the love of our family!  Yet, as much as we love, enjoy and are proud of Troy and Tracie, they can never replace Travis!  

We will miss him for as long as we live!  I will walk into a room of tears again and again...  I will hold my wife and comfort her.  I will never stop talking with my son - as I do now so frequently.  

And you should also know that we are each comforted by the One who loves us in the same way that a mother loves her child!  There is no comfort like His comfort!  

WORK AT HOME MOMS

I was raised by a work-at-home-Mom!  Although she had held jobs earlier in her life, my Mom chose to stay home and raise her children.  My Dad carried the burden of responsibility for providing for his family.  At times, he worked two jobs to be able to do that.

I admire women who are making the same decision today.  With the reality of the present economy, I'm sure that is is even harder today than it was for my parents. 

There is a security in children whose moms are always available.  They seem more confident and comfortable. 

These moms pay a dear price: repetition!  On a recent visit to our daughter's, Tracie told Debbie:  "Mom, this is the first day since Rylie was born that I haven't changed a diaper!"  So, it's changing diapers, washing clothes, preparing meals, playing with the kids, dressing and undressing them, cleaning the house, washing dishes, trying to shop with kids in the buggy;  over-and-over, day-after-day!

But lives are being shaped!  Values are being formed!  Personalities are in process!  Lessons are being learned!  Priorities are being established!  VITAL WORK!!!!  How important for these tasks to be performed by the one who loves them most!

There are many young moms in our church who are making the choice to be work-at-home-moms!  I admire these women SO MUCH!  I admire the choice that these couples have made.  They may be foregoing some of the extras that a second income could provide;  but they are going to reap a great harvest from the day-by-day investment that's being made in the lives of their kids!

To all of you - you know who you are - I'm standing and applauding!  Great job!  Keep it up!  You've made a good decision!  Your children will rise up and call you "Blessed"!  The work you are doing is the most important job in the world!