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Showing posts with label Children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Children. Show all posts

Sunday, January 28, 2024

TAKE YOUR KIDS TO CHURCH!

I’m glad my parents took me to church! At the time, I wasn’t always delighted that we went there so much, but I benefitted in ways that I didn’t see then.


The church’s children’s ministry helped me by teaching me the many Bible stories of the Old and New Testaments. The youth group gave me a camaraderie of friends who were learning to share the values of the Christian faith. I was provided lots of older role models in those a stage or two ahead of me! Many of the adults engaged me regularly and encouraged me. I participated in rich worship times that moved me deeply inside! I was challenged by the many testimonies that were shared in the church culture that I grew up in. My parents taught me to tithe from my TV Guide route. My dad asked the treasurer for a book of envelopes so that I could use them for my two dimes. I was deeply moved while watching people respond to the altar for prayer and seeing others – who cared for them – join them there.

I can’t put a value on this experience! In my developmental years [after the nursery class], I had one female teacher [Betty Paugh – who made the Bible stories come alive for me!] and a long list of male teachers who impacted my life on Sundays and Tuesdays [at Christian Youth Crusaders]: Neil Castilucci, Joe Douglas, Paul Funkhouser, Carl Geissinger, Bob Curtiss, Jim Rudolph, Udele Gallagher, Gordon Aiken and probably a few others. They made an impact on me. I admired and respected them! I wanted to be like them!

Parents: take your kids to church! Give them the chance to experience this rich, godly fellowship! This is an environment that will impact them and provide them with lots of examples to emulate! You may not see the impact, but it will be there!
______________________________

Thank You so much, Lord, for the New Brighton Free Methodist Church! It wasn’t perfect. There were tensions and problems. But it did a lot of things right and provided a rich environment for families! That fellowship nurtured me and helped to determine and direct my path! I learned to respect adults. I saw the extremely high value placed on God’s Word! I saw generosity and kindness acted out regularly. I am largely who I am today because of the impact of this fellowship of believers!

May it continue to be so today! May children and youth be valued, instructed and guided by the people they engage with and observe at church. As adults, help us to notice and interact with these in the formative stages of life! Prompt us to notice them, speak to them, encourage them, applaud them, and pray for them! We CAN make a difference! Remind us today – and every Lord’s Day – that we are making a difference in the lives of those we worship with! Thanks be to God! Amen.

Sunday, October 16, 2022

AN OLDER PERSEPCTIVE FOR YOUNGER COUPLES

Debbie and I were married in 1973.  We made a conscious decision to not have kids for two years so that we would have some time to just enjoy one another.  We've never regretted that decision.  In February 1976, Travis was born and our family life began.  We offically denested around 2000, when Tracie (our youngest) returned to Maryland to live and work [at the age of nineteen].  

When I was actively doing pre-marital counseling with couples, I made sure that we talked about certain specifics during the process.  It's likely that some couples may have already discussed some of these issues, but many do not.  I have no feel for things today.  I don't know if pastors are still requiring couseling or not?  I feel it is an essential responsibility for someone who is bringing couples together in a lifelong relationship.  

Everyone realizes that young couples are in an infatuated state during courtship and premarriage days.  

Merriam;Webster defines infatuation:  

"filled with or marked by a foolish or extravagant love or admiration"

I always made sure we discussed topics like:

  • FINANCES:  Are you bringing debt into this relationship?  Will you merge incomes or continue separate finances?  Do you plan to tithe?  Who will pay the bills?
  • FAMILY PLANNING:  Do you want to have kids?  When do you plan to start?  How many might you like to have?  What will you do if you are unable to have children?  How do you plan to parent your children?  [I provide recommended resources for all of these areas]
  • FIGHTING FAIRLY:  This is vital information for young married couples.  There are rules that should be followed.  Without following these rules, you will end up suffering extreme frustration and emotional distance!  
I know you'll want these, so here they are:

  1. Stay on topic!
  2. "Don't let the sun go down on your anger"  [Ephesians 4:26]
  3. Look for 'release valves'.
  4. Recognize that "The tongue has the power of life and death"  [Proverbs 18:21]
  5. Never use 'the silent treatment'!
  6. Keep your relationship close by sharing openly with one another on a regular basis.  Maintain regular devotional time together, then it will naturally happen when children come along!
  7. If tension periods persist and you can't seem to resolve the issues, ASK FOR HELP!

  • FAMILY TRADITIONS:  More than two people are being married here.  How will you merge these two family traditions?  How will you balance your time between these two families - especially holidays?
  • HIS NEEDS/HER NEEDS:  We discuss this book by Dr. Willard Harley.
  • THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES:  We discuss this book by Gary Chapman.
Typically, I asked for ten hours - as long BEFORE the wedding as possible - to comfortably discuss these issues!

With that platform laid, I'd like to get more specific.  

In my latter years in ministry, I noticed that couples were fairly consistently telling me that they wanted to wait to have "all their ducks in a row" before starting a family.  There's some logic in this, of course.  When Debbie and I were young the adage was "If you wait for the right time to have kids, you'll never have kids!"  There's some truth to that as well.  

As an older person - with no desire to offend anyone - I'd simply like to offer two points for consideration that may not be immediately obvious to younger people in this stage of life.  Here they are - I hope they're helpful!

FIRST
By delaying the birth of your children, you're cutting down the years that they will be exposed to your own parents!  Grandparents can be a great blessing in presenting the children a picture of a completely different generation.  They typically support the goals and aspirations of the parents and provide resources, services and exposure that has the potential to enrich the lives of children.  Do you really want to cut that time significantly shorter?

SECOND
This is what I like to call the 'hidden repercussion'.  By delaying the birth of your children, you're also cutting down the number of years that you will be exposed to your own grandchildren!  Think it through:  If you wait till you're forty to have kids, and they wait till they're forty to have kids - you'll be eighty when your grandchildren are born!  If you understand this point, you might want to speed up your timetable for having a family, so that you can enjoy multiple generations before you leave this earth!

Psalm 127:3-5 [TM]
Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift?
    the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows
    are the children of a vigorous youth.
Oh, how blessed are you parents,
    with your quivers full of children!
Your enemies don’t stand a chance against you;
    you’ll sweep them right off your doorstep.


Friday, June 10, 2022

SHE CAME - SHE LEFT!

In 2010, while leading our last church before going to China, we set aside four weeks of focused prayer.  We asked our people to pray, fast and let as many know about these special days as possible.  The result:  our sanctuary overflowed for these four weeks!  This was our plan:

February 14 - Prayer for those who are unemployed.
February 21 - The blessing of our children.
February 28 - Prayer for those in debt.
March 7 - Prayer for those who need healing.

She came for the second Sunday and brought her kids to be blessed.  She had been invited by her co-worker (one of our members).  We sang simple, children’s songs that Sunday during worship.  There was a brief message.  Then we had recruited, trained and positioned trusted and respected leaders around the sanctuary to pray with anyone who came to them. 

She came to Debbie and me with her children.  She presented them one at a time and told us about them.  And one at a time, Debbie and I invited her to join us in laying hands on her children and lifting them to God for a special blessing.  God drew near in those moments.

She began attending regularly.  She committed her life to Christ.  Debbie and I were enfolded by her family and circle of friends.  Our circle of friendship expanded significantly during those ensuing months!  She brought family members and friends to worship with her. 

Her life and purpose began to re-orient around Christ!  We saw changes take place as her priorities were gradually rearranged by her new commitments. 

After six months we hired her as an office assistant.  She took the role very seriously and was diligent to learn and do the best job possible.  My administrative assistant and I invested in her through a commitment of much time and tremendous focus.  There were challenges involved in helping her to adapt to a role that she had never dreamed possible. 

However, she was so eager to learn and grow that we could do nothing but continue to invest and take joy in the transformation occurring before our very eyes! 

She gave our whole congregation a living picture of what it is to have Christ reorient your life.  She became a catalyst and inspired all of our people by her zeal and joy!  She exemplified old things are passed away and behold all things are become new! 

I wish I could give this story a happy ending – but I can’t.  Debbie and I left two years after we met her.  We followed a course that took us to China for three years.  A new pastor was appointed.  Many changes took place. 

She, and all who had come with her, fell away.  Church members were caught up in the chaos of the transition to new leadership and failed to pursue her and the others.  And today, my heart still aches.

_______________________________________

 

New believers are fragile!  Like a new plant, they need attention, water, food and care to be able to grow to maturity.  Without this, they are likely to relapse.  Even when these things ARE in place – they will still often relapse.  It takes tremendous focus, patience and time to walk with someone through this process.  Think about the eighteen-plus years we spend helping our children to grow and mature before we launch them into the adult world!  It’s the same with new believers! 

Coming alongside a new believer will energize your life!  Spending time with them will remind you of your own journey and the steps you took to grow into the ‘new you’!  You will find yourself reading your own Bible more because you want to be able to lead your protégé in helpful and productive ways!  Your own life will be catalyzed and challenged as you invest in the growth of another!  Churches can be transformed when this process becomes normative!  Stagnant, ineffective believers can be renewed and recapture the joy of their early years of faith! 

Why not begin to pray and ask God to lead you into this kind of a relationship?  Begin to look around to see if God might be leading you to establish a discipling connection with a neighbor, co-worker, family member, new person at church or friend.  It WILL be just what they need!  It might also be just what YOU need! 

Tuesday, February 8, 2022

DIDN'T GET YOUR PARENTS' BLESSING?

Over my many years of counseling, I've dealt with lots of people who were aware that they didn't receive their parents' blessing.  They grew up knowing that the blessing went to a sibling instead.  The pain that accompanies this realization is difficult to accept and live with.  Most will continue - sometimes throughout their entire life - to try to get this blessing!  In most cases, it will never come.  Sad!

Receiving the blessing of a parent is of major consequence!  We all want to know that we are special to our parents.  

I gave a Lyft to a mother and her young daughter several months ago.  The little girl was dressed so cute and she seemed to have a sweet disposition;  but she had done something that morning that angered her mother.  The whole 8-minute ride, she yelled at this precious little one and demeaned her.  I cringed as this little girl was called horrible names.  Then, she was told, "I may not come after you today.  I'm sick of you!"  I prayed for this little treasure all day long!  

Children want to - need to - be loved!  How many times have you seen a child call - over and over and over - "Mommy, watch me!  or "Daddy, watch me!"  They just want to be recognized.  They're begging!  "Mommy, Daddy, please recognize me and tell me that I'm special!"  So many are forced to live invisible lives.  

Genesis 28 gives a vivid picture of this.  Jacob has stolen Esau's (his older brother's) birthright and blessing!  It was wrong to do so and involved deception that included their mother's scheming!  Esau is hurt and angry - these two always go together!  When their father, Isaac calls Jacob in and sends him away to find a wife who is not a Hittite, Esau learns of this.  He has already taken two wives from among the Hittites and is over forty years old!  

But that desire to be accepted and loved runs deep and long!  As a result, Esau takes a third wife - this time from among the family connection of his uncle Ishmael.  His reasoning is clear!  "If I marry a woman from the family - who is not a Hittite - perhaps I will finally get the blessing of my father and mother?"  But these hopeful responses rarely work.  

Fortunately, as the chapters unfold, we eventually see an Esau who seems to have accepted his plight in life.  He seems to have found a way to be satisfied without having received the blessing of his parents.

But most will continue to strive and try to get that blessing.  Ultimately, they will give up using good behavior and turn to bad behavior in an effort to get their parents' attention!  Lives are destroyed in the process!

Parents!  Listen to your children!  Give them your attention!  Praise them!  Help them to know how special they are.  Help them discover their areas of giftedness.  Picture a bright future for them!  Hold them tenderly.  

A word of advice from an old guy:  Bedtime is a great time to do this!  Children are often reflective at this time.  Ask them about their day.  

  • What was the best thing that happened today?
  • Did anything funny happen today?
  • Were you sad at all today?
  • How can Mommy (or Daddy) pray for you as you go to sleep?
I know!  You're tired at this point of the day!  You just want to get them to bed so you can have some time to yourself.  I understand.  That's why - in our family - I often was the one to put our kids to bed.  It was my gift to Debbie!  I had more energy than she did.  I hadn't been with them all day long.  We would tickle and wrestle and talk and then pray!  I had a special prayer that I used with each of them.

One more word of counsel:  don't stop doing this when they grow older!  As long as they'll let you, put them to bed.  We tend to think that teens don't need us as much as they did when they were younger.  WRONG!  They need us more!  Be available!  Let them talk!  Listen to them!  Make gentle inquiries.  Never let an opportunity to pray with them pass!  

Make time for each of your kids!  Single them out for special time toegether!  Make sure they ALL get your blessing!  

Sunday, March 28, 2021

A STORY OF TWO DONKEYS

One day, many years ago, in Jerusalem there was a donkey and she had recently birthed a colt. 


This donkey was nothing special.  She had worked hard for her master at carrying loads and turning the style.  She had worked in the heat and had always been faithful to her owner. 

But while she was pregnant, she didn’t have to work quite so hard.  Then, her colt was born.  He looked just like his mommy.  He was now four months old and followed her everywhere she went. 

One day, when dawn broke, she thought that it was an unusually clear day.  When she got up, her colt immediately got up too. 

Soon, her owner came and took her toward the city;  of course, her colt followed right along with her.  When they came to a house, they stopped for a while. 

Eventually, two men came and talked with her owner.  After a brief conversation, these two men led her away from her owner.  She was surprised – this had never happened before.  But she relaxed when they allowed her colt to come along too.

As they came to the brow of the hill overlooking Jerusalem, there were more men and others gathered.  They all seemed very happy.  Then the two men led her to another man who had the kindest eyes she had ever known.  As she drew near to him, she felt a strange sense of being genuinely cared for. 

The two men who had brought her here threw their coats over her back and this new man climbed onto her back.  First, he had petted her colt and spoke kind words to it.  He was not heavy. 

This began the strangest journey she had ever made.  As she carried the man down the hill and toward Jerusalem, crowds of people gathered.  They laid their clothing on the road before her.  Then, they cut down branches from nearby trees and laid them before her too. 

It was noisy!  There were lots of children!  Children love parades!  Each time she checked, her colt followed closely behind her.  She felt so proud!  The people shouted things like:

Hosanna to the Son of David! 

Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! 

Hosanna in the highest!

Before they entered the city, they came to a prominent spot where you could view the entire city.  The man slipped off of her and walked to the edge of the cliff.  The crowd grew quiet.  She heard him speak softly.  He said,

"Jerusalem, Jerusalem! You kill the prophets and stone the messengers God has sent you! How many times I wanted to put my arms around all your people, just as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you would not let me!                                                              [Mt. 23:37 Good News Translation]

There were tears in his eyes!

She felt his pain.  She too loved her colt and loved having him close to her.  She nudged the colt with her nose.  He nudged her back and suckled during this brief break. 

Now the crowd was growing very large.  The noise magnified.  It was a joyful time!  She felt proud to be carrying this man.  The people obviously loved him and wanted to be close to him.  She was honored to be the one chosen to carry him.  

As they arrived at the temple, he dismounted and rubbed her head before moving away.  She watched as he was swallowed by the crowd.  Soon, her owner appeared and began leading her back to his home. 

As much as she respected her owner, there was something in her that made her just want to stay forever with this man who had ridden her into the city. 

Jesus our brother kind and good
Was humbly born in a stable of wood
And the friendly beasts around him stood
Jesus our brother kind and good

 

"I" said the donkey shaggy and brown
I carried his mother up hill and down
I carried him safely to Bethlehem town
"I" said the donkey shaggy and brown


[from "The Friendly Beasts" by Robert Davis]

Sunday, October 25, 2020

CHILDREN ON HIS MIND!

 I remember singing it with gusto when I was a kid:

Jesus loves the little children;

All the children of the world!

Red and yellow, black and white,

They're all precious in His sight!

Jesus loves the little children of the world!

With the assumption that there is some continuity to the Gospel narrative, it seems that children were on Jesus' mind through several chapters in the middle of Matthew.  Let's consider the evidence for this observation:

FIRST, in Matthew 18:1-6, the disciples ask Jesus, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? [v.1]

Now, we can never know exactly what precipitated this question, however, three of the apostles had very recently been on the Mount of Transfiguration with Jesus.  On top of that, the other nine apostles had just been reprimanded for not being able to heal a boy with a demon.  So, it's at least possible that they were wondering among themselves (again) who was the greatest among them and who might be His successor.

How surprised they must have been when Jesus called a nearby child and stood him in their midst.

I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  [v.3]

Then, Jesus takes it even further:

And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.  But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. [vs.5-6]

I imagine there was intensity in His voice and on His face when He spoke these words.  I rather expect that He made a deep impression on the thinking of these apostles during these moments!  Jesus has a very high opinion of the innocence that characterizes children!

SECOND, Jesus continues His teaching with these words:

See that you do not look down on one of these little ones.  For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.  [18:10]

Wow!  This teaching indicates that children not only have guardian angels, but that their guardian angels have special access to the throne of God and the power of the One who sits on that throne!  

Then, Jesus goes on teaching about the man who leaves ninety-nine sheep on the hills to go and look for the one that wandered off.  This teaching ends with an expression of great joy when that one sheep is found...

In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.  [18:14]

Here we see that Jesus didn't cultivate this love for children on His own;  He learned it from His heavenly Father!  

THIRD, in chapter 19, 

...little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them.  But the disciples rebuked those who brought them.  [v.13]

Is this faulty memory?  Didn't they just witness the two above mentioned events from the previous chapter?  

Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.  [v.14]

This line from Jesus represents not only a reprimand, but also a teaching:  These very children you are obstructing represent the character that allows any person to be a citizen of heaven!  You too, must become more like these children!  

FINALLY, we leap to chapter 21. Jesus is preparing for His Triumphal entry into Jerusalem.  He instructs His apostles to go and find a donkey.  When they bring it, He mounts it and begins His journey into Jerusalem.  Here's the order of events:

  • A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road.  [v.8]
  • The crowds...shouted, "Hosanna to the Son of David!"  [v.9]
  • Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there.  [v.12]
  • The blind and the lame came to him at the temple, and he healed them.  [v.14]
  • But when the chief priests and teachers of the law saw the wonderful things he did and the children shouting in the temple area, "Hosanna to the Son of David," they were indignant.  [v.15]
When these religious leaders complained to Jesus in an apparent appeal to have the children stopped, Jesus responded:
...have you never read, 'From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise'?   [quote from Psalm 8:2]
Once again, Jesus puts children on a pedestal and refuses to rebuke them for fulfilling their God-given role of praise!  
_________________________________________

Make no mistake about it.  God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit LOVE CHILDREN and see something in them that is precious, admirable and exemplary!  

When we watch children play, we are watching the behavior of the heavenly!  This is the kind of carefree, innocent, enjoyable conduct that we will enjoy forever when we make it to heaven - if we make it to heaven!  

I'm writing this on a Lord's Day morning!  Go to church today and be childlike.  In doing so, you will put a smile on the face of God!  

Friday, September 25, 2020

JESUS LOVES THE LITTLE CHILDREN!

Matthew 18:1-14  -  Brace yourself for violent content! 

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”  [Did they have their thumbs under their suspenders while asking this?]

He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. [Gasp!]  Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come!
If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away.  [Shock!]  It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. [Sucking air!]  It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.

“See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.  [The New English Bible uses the term 'Guardian Angels']

“What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.

We serve a God who has a special heart for children.  Their guardian angels have constant access to His throne!

It is essential to understand the Jewish attitude toward children in 1st century Palestine if we are to grasp the full force of Jesus' teaching here.

In the present day, we tend to idealize childhood as the happy age of innocence, carefreeness, and simple faith, but in New Testament times the child was considered of no importance, meriting little attention or favor.  "Children in that society had no status at all - they did not count."  [John Wesley]  The child was regarded with scorn.

For the disciples of Jesus, "becoming like a child" is a symbol of those who have the lowest places in society, the poor and the oppressed, the beggars, the prostitutes and tax collectors - the people whom Jesus often called the little ones or the least.  Jesus' concern was that these little ones should not be despised or treated as inferior.  See that you never despise any of these little ones.  [John Wesley - RENEW MY HEART]

If Wesley is right, then we have to re-read the above passage and put each of these groups into the text every time it speaks of children.  When we re-read the last paragraph with this understanding, it exhorts us to be pro-active in reaching out to and helping those who have been pummeled in our society.  

We must ask ourselves: 

  • Have I done enough by writing a $25 check to the Rescue Mission every Thanksgiving?
  • Is it sufficient that I give a dollar to homeless people once in a while?
  • Or that I've had a couple of black, Hispanic, Asian friends throughout my life?
  • Besides, occasionally I take food to the church for the local food pantry.  
But,
  • Have you taught anyone to fish [so they can catch their own fish]?  
  • Have you genuinely taken a down-and-out person under your wing?
  • Do you REALLY KNOW a family that is struggling to make ends meet?
  • How available are you REALLY to those who are suffering injustice?

Jesus was clearly concerned about justice!  He wanted those who were typically treated poorly to receive respect.  He was not a fan of arrogance.  He was a fan of kindness and generosity.  He condemns those who contribute to the injustice of others:  Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble!...woe to the person through whom they come!  Even by our lack of caring or involvement.  

It's not for me to say where He would be in regards to the horrendous racial tensions in America today.  It seems apparent that He would admonish those who are killing, looting and destroying property.  However, He would also look beyond their actions and into their hearts to see and touch the source of pain that brings them to this activity.   Somehow, I'm convinced, He would be among them.  

I attend an all-white church with very little diversity.  It's a good church with a good pastor.  I've thought a lot in recent months about trying to find a black church to attend.  Would I be welcome?  I've preached at least ten times in black churches - but not in recent years.  I had a black, Baptist preacher do a three-month Sunday evening series [at the Oakland Church], but I've since lost track of him.

Bottom Line:  I'm doing practically nothing to heal this terrible situation - except pray.  And I do pray about it;  that's probably part of the reason for this blog post.  

Oh Lord,

I want to be part of Your healing force to re-unite this nation and restore peace.  But I honestly don't know where to begin.  I'm open to Your guidance.  I need Your direction.  I'm tired of praying for Your protection!  It doesn't matter what happens to me.  What matters is that those who are hurt, angry, hateful, and violent be restored to You!  If You can figure a way to use me in that process, I'm willing.  

Wake up Your Church, Oh Lord!  Help us to be an active part of whatever You might be trying to accomplish - before it's too late!

For the Kingdom's sake.  Amen.   

 

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

THE BEST DAY!!!

Actually, the title should be: THE BEST TWELVE DAYS!  Or, it could be: WE LOVE OUR FAMILY!  :-)

Debbie and I look forward to July because our grandkids, Rylie and Coltin, come to join us for Family Camp in East Liverpool, Ohio every summer.  For ten days we live together in the cabin that I built (with the enormous help of my good friend, David Rose) eight years ago (mostly paid for by Travis).  It's rustic.  We eat our meals in the dining hall (except Coltin, whose allergies demand that he eat most of his meals at the cabin).  They participate in the children's programming and we all go to church together each evening.  In the afternoons, they play with their many cousins and we often go swimming at Uncle Jeff and Aunt Cathy's!  It's an amazing time - and we LOVE it!

This year, I persuaded Tracie to stay for a few add-on days at our home in Enon Valley.  Allison, our adopted daughter (and good friend to all three T's) came in for those add-on days, too.  Troy and Missy joined us for as much as their schedules would allow.  

But yesterday...wow, yesterday was awesome!  
  • the weather was GREAT!
  • we were all together for most of the day.
  • we ate good food  (steak and peppers-filled-with-cheese-and-wrapped-in-bacon)  Mmmmm...
  • we played games (including cornhole)
  • we prayed together several times
  • we talked
  • we rode a quad and a golf cart
  • we played with Shadow and Gabe
  • we went shopping at Gabe's for new school shoes (and other things)
Yesterday was the best day of my year so far!  I loved every minute of it!  It was the kind of day I often dream of, with all our family gathered around us - enjoying each other!  

Most of the time now, it's just Debbie and me - and that's okay, it's the way of life.  We enjoy being together!  My love for her grows with every day!  She's a great wife and has been a wonderful, loving Mom.  Her grandkids absolutely love her!  Me too!  When she announces that she's going to sit with her Mom for a day, it makes me sad.  I miss her.

For years, our kids have lived at a distance.  Tracie and Jon have lived in Hawaii and Connecticut.  Troy has lived in Akron, Savannah and now New Middletown.  :-)   Travis lived in more places than I can remember:  Great Lakes, Orlando, Annapolis, Sarasota Springs, Savannah, Fernandina Beach, FL, Bremerton, WA, San Diego, Honolulu...

Having our whole family home at the same time has been rare.  I often envy families that are able to do so frequently!  So, when they come, we try to pack as much in as we possibly can!  Debbie makes their favorite foods.  We focus on them and enjoy them as much as possible.  I try to make sure all the 'toys' are up-and-running.  We want everything to be as perfect as we can make it.  

Yesterday, we hit the mark!  What an amazing, wonderful, special, thoroughly enjoyable day!  Thank You, Lord, for our family!  We love them so!

We missed our two sons-in-law:  Jon and Josh, who couldn't be with us this time.  We also, of course, missed Travis, but his portrait watched over all our fun throughout our time together.  

Debbie and I are...well...BLESSED!  All these precious gifts of God have added so much meaning to our lives.  We take immense joy and pride from watching them each live their lives.  Their accomplishments bring us joy.  That's the way family should be, right?  

But now, 
  • Allison left late last night
  • Tracie and the kids pulled out this morning
  • Troy and Missy went back to work 
  • Deb left to sit with her Mom for two days
  • and I --------- I'm here with Gabe and Shadow, feeling the loneliness.










But, I get to see Troy and Missy pretty frequently.  :-)  And we'll see Tracie, Jon and the kids again in August.  And then, they're coming home again in October for a family wedding!  👏👏👏👏  So, I'm happy about that.  

All-in-all, I guess you could say (in spite of my temporary loneliness) that I'm feeling very, very, very GRATEFUL!!!!

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
Praise Him, all creatures here below!
Praise Him above, ye heavenly host!
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost!









Saturday, April 28, 2012

WORK AT HOME MOMS

I was raised by a work-at-home-Mom!  Although she had held jobs earlier in her life, my Mom chose to stay home and raise her children.  My Dad carried the burden of responsibility for providing for his family.  At times, he worked two jobs to be able to do that.

I admire women who are making the same decision today.  With the reality of the present economy, I'm sure that is is even harder today than it was for my parents. 

There is a security in children whose moms are always available.  They seem more confident and comfortable. 

These moms pay a dear price: repetition!  On a recent visit to our daughter's, Tracie told Debbie:  "Mom, this is the first day since Rylie was born that I haven't changed a diaper!"  So, it's changing diapers, washing clothes, preparing meals, playing with the kids, dressing and undressing them, cleaning the house, washing dishes, trying to shop with kids in the buggy;  over-and-over, day-after-day!

But lives are being shaped!  Values are being formed!  Personalities are in process!  Lessons are being learned!  Priorities are being established!  VITAL WORK!!!!  How important for these tasks to be performed by the one who loves them most!

There are many young moms in our church who are making the choice to be work-at-home-moms!  I admire these women SO MUCH!  I admire the choice that these couples have made.  They may be foregoing some of the extras that a second income could provide;  but they are going to reap a great harvest from the day-by-day investment that's being made in the lives of their kids!

To all of you - you know who you are - I'm standing and applauding!  Great job!  Keep it up!  You've made a good decision!  Your children will rise up and call you "Blessed"!  The work you are doing is the most important job in the world!

Sunday, March 25, 2012

NEIL CASTILUCCI

He was a big guy!  He was a truck driver.  He loved kids!  I was a kid!

I grew up in a growing church that bussed kids in from poorer areas of a neighboring town.  On Wednesday nights we had over one hundred kids in our Christian Youth Crusader program.

Neil was the CYC Director (along with his wife, Norma).  Neil drove the bus to get the kids!  Sometimes he would invite me to ride along - as his side-kick! 

To be honest, we were all a little afraid of Neil;  did I mention he was a big guy?  So, we wanted to please him!  And we knew that he had a gentle heart.

Neil and Norma would have the whole CYC come to their country house for outdoor parties.  I remember how fun they were! 

Eventually, I graduated into Neil's all-boy Sunday School Class.  He took every boy out on his birthday.  We were told that we could go anywhere we wanted - but Neil always managed to steer us to the New Brighton Hot Dog Shop where we could eat as much as we wanted!

Even though I had a great Dad, Neil still filled an important role-model need in my life!  I respected him and admired him.  At times, I envied his kids! 

I am who I am today, partly because of his influence in my life!  The world needs more Neils and Normas today! 

Dear Lord,
Help me to adopt kids unofficially.  Help me to give them attention and help them to know that Jesus loves them!  Help me to never overlook them or make them feel insignificant!  Help me to be generous with them.  Help me to live my life in such a way that I point children to You!
Oh Yeah!

Sunday, March 18, 2012

ST. PATRICK'S DAY LUNCH

A home-made invitation was hand-delivered several weeks in advance.  It was obviously made by children. 
Please attend a luncheon in honor of H.O.P.E Ministry and the STEWARDS in the fellowship hall on Saturday, March 17, 2012, sponsored by the children from the FMCC Junior Church!
I arrived at Noon and was greeted at the door by some of the kids who hung a green, bead necklace around my neck and wished me a Happy St. Patrick's Day!  Then I was directed into a classroom that was decorated for the occasion with two tables set in a lovely fashion for dinner!

After a few moments of visiting with the other guests, we were greeted by one of the adults.  The children introduced themselves to us and Emily Fagart led us in prayer.  Then, the children were our servers - dressed in white shirts with home-made green aprons.  They had been well-trained and served with excellence.  The meal was Irish stew and corned beef - it was delicious!  It also included a red and green coleslaw and a delightful, green, jello-salad.  My water glass was kept full.  My plates were quickly removed when I finished my meal. 

Following dinner, Pat Martin and Greg Gerner (two of the adult workers) gave us a brief, informative lesson about St. Patrick!  Emily Garret played an Irish tune on her flute - and Jessica Swartz even danced a bit of an Irish jig for us! 

It was explained that the three-leaf clover was a wonderful symbol of the Trinity:  Father, Son, and Holy Spirit!  Dessert was served - cupcakes decorated for the occasion.

All-in-all, it was a delightful occasion.  Two rarely recognized groups in our church were honored by our Junior Church children (aged 6-12).  I was VERY PROUD!!

Special thanks to Mitzie Paine and Kelly Garret for preparing the meal and providing much of the decorations!  Erik Wiley also assisted.  Ginny and Maddy Bredl also assist in leading Junior Church - but were unable to attend! 

We have such wonderful workers and leaders at FMCC!  I thank God for them regularly!

Sunday, March 4, 2012

MONKEY SUIT

Our whole family was home last week for a family wedding.  Our granddaughter, Rylie, slept on the floor in our bedroom.  Or at least that was the plan.

Several nights she wound up in between us in our bed.  At times, she had her head at the foot of the bed;  then she had her feet in my back.  Then she'd have her hand draped over my face.  It was quite an experience.

On Friday, I watched Rylie and Coltin a good part of the day while everyone decorated the church.  For a couple of hours we went to Burger King and played in the play area.  Before lunch I asked Rylie if she wanted to say the prayer.  She quickly and reverently recited The Lord's Prayer.  [To hear this, read "Lord, Teach Us To Pray" from November 14  :-)]

Last Sunday, she sat with me during our Connection Time hour.  She kept insisting that I button all the buttons on my suitcoat.

When we came home, I was changing into casual clothes for dinner.  As I left the bedroom, I told Debbie how glad I was to be out of that monkey suit!

Rylie turned to her and said, "Poppy wasn't wearing a monkey suit!" 

Debbie explained to her that I don't like wearing suits and that I just call my suit a monkey suit because it makes me uncomfortable.  She added her final thought:  "Poppy wasn't wearing a monkey suit, it was just a suit!"
Poppy and Rylie

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

DO IT AGAIN POPPY

Having just spent a week with my grandchildren, Rylie and Coltin, I am reminded of the value of repetition. 

When they find something they enjoy, they are excited to do it over and over again!  Eventually, "Do it again, Poppy" is just too many words to speak and it gets shortened to "Again".

This happened while swinging at the playground.
It was echoed when I became their play horse.
"Again" was the theme when we rode the four-wheeler.
It also kicked in while we played 'Chase and tickle'.
I don't remember how many times I read them the same book!
It REALLY became a factor with the Where's Waldo? books...


Children are still learning.  They're untainted by boredom.  When they find something that makes them happy, they are unabashed about repeating it over and over and over.  Their enjoyment curve seems to last much longer than ours - as adults. 

Teens still have a remnant of this in them, too.  They will get in line and ride the same roller coaster all day! 

Even as a fully mature man - who just received his Golden Buckeye Card - I have occasional glimpses of this experience.  It happened the other day while playing Wii.  I was having so much fun trying to master the tennis game that I felt like I could have played it all day.

Wouldn't it be cool if we could maintain this kind of excitement and joy throughout our lives?  It might transform our work. 

When I was worship leader at Cornerstone Church in Akron, we had three identical, Sunday morning worship services.  Regularly, while leaving the platform, Judy Haydu would say to me, "Hal, do you believe it, we get to do this two more times?"  Her expression was one of absolute joy!

Let's pray about this:
God,
Renew the child in me today!  Help me to see the world in color!  Help me to hear and marvel at the birds.  Help me to see an airplane trail and thrill at the thought that people are hurling through the air over 500 miles per hour!  Help me to see the character in someone's face.  Help me to have fun today - and to make life fun for others, too!  Help me to be less shy about expressing excitement, wonder and joy today!  Maybe by doing this more openly, I can ignite the same reaction in others!  Renew the child in me today, Lord!
Amen.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

KIDS GIFTS

Surely every parent has received them:
  • a fresh-picked dandelion
  • a finger-painting
  • a painted rock
  • a page from a coloring book
  • a cookie made from mud
  • a craft from Sunday School

When I was a student at Roberts Wesleyan College, I planned a great day of giving for the campus.  Groups went caroling at the mall.  Other groups went to area nursing homes.  Another group went to the children's wing of Strong's Memorial Hospital in Rocherster, New York (this group gave huge candy canes to the kids). 

Afterward, we met in Garlock Commons for a party.  We shared about our adventures.  One girl stood up and - with tears - told of how meaningful it was to entertain the children at the hospital.  She told us that one little girl had attached to her.  When they had to leave this little girl gave her a big, sticky hug (from the candy cane).  At that point, she turned around and showed us two small, red handprints on the back of her white sweatshirt!

Children can teach us a lot about gift-giving that would ease our stress!  They've captured the concepts of simplicity and sincerity! 

[Finger-painting by Hal's granddaughter, Rylie Grace Kerstetter]

Saturday, November 26, 2011

GOING TO THE PARK

For the last few days I've been spending a lot of time with my grandchildren:  Rylie (4) and Coltin (2 1/2). 

In spite of being in Connecticut for Thanksgiving, the weather has been remarkably warm.  So, every day, we've been able to walk to the park!  It's their favorite thing to do!

We wait for the cars to go by and then race across the street.  We have to hold hands until we get to the park because cars and trucks are dangerously close to the sidewalk!  Rylie (with help) likes to walk on the guard rail along the way!

Once we get to the park, we can run and play.  We climb all over the playground:
  • going down the slides
  • sliding down the fireman's pole
  • walking on the balance beam
  • climbing the steps, and
  • riding the glider.
Then we go to the river and throw stones and sticks in.  We have to be very careful not to fall in!

We run and play in the field.  We even play with other children who join us at the playground!

We met some wonderful people the other day.  They followed us everywhere we went!  We couldn't shake them!  We waved - and they waved back.  We jumped - and they jumped, too!  We ran - and they ran with us!  Shadow people are a lot of fun!

Then, after a long time, we walk back home - because we're thirsty!

It's a wonderful time for Rylie, Coltin, Grammy and Poppy! 

Once home, we go into the backyard and jump on the bounce-a-line!  Uncle Troy is especially a lot of fun on the bounce-a-line!  But he has to have another adult there to keep the children safe (he gets carried away)! 

Going to the park is such simple fun!  It doesn't cost anything.  It's pretty safe.  It's nearby.  Yet, wonderful memories are made there!  Everyone should go the park occasionally!  It's better than television or video games or even playing with PlayDough! 

Try it the next time there's a nice day!  You'll like it!  Especially if you take your grandchilren with you!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

CHILDREN

Most of the children I see are in church!  I watch Bob and Bill carrying their grandkids around.  I see my assistant's grandchildren stop to visit and run into her arms.  I watch the many young couples in our church family handling their kids.  I get pictures of my own grandchildren at least once-a-week from our daughter!

This past Sunday Amy Orbin and Holly Swartz brought our children onto the platform to lead us in several worship songs.  Our people were delighted by the animations of these precious, little ones!

I'll be dedicating a little guy named Brock this Sunday!  I sat down with his Dad and Mom two weeks ago to emphasize the importance of their role in teaching him about God and faith!  As a result, Mom headed right out to buy a book of Bible stories!

Some of our parents have been attending a special class led by mature parents who have raised godly children.  It's been an amazing opportunity for learning!  Some of the things these families have in common:
  • they ate at least one meal a day together
  • the moms prayed with the children every day
  • they had family fun nights every week
  • the dads actively played with the children daily
  • the parents cultivated and commanded respect
  • they gave gifts and rewards sparingly
Psalm 127 tells us that children are a gift from God!  They need our protection, love, and guidance! 

If you cross the path of a child today, stoop down, look into their eyes, and have a brief conversation with them!  If you do this, you'll make God smile!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

STORY BOOK TALE

Her name is Jessica;  she's eight years old.  Her mother reads to her every night before going to bed.

On this night they read a book about Jesus.  At the end of the book was a prayer about giving yourself to the Lord.

Jessica told her mom that she wanted to give herself to the Lord all by herself.  After leading her daughter through the prayer, there was a place for Jessica to draw a smiley face and sign her name - with the date.

The next day, her mom told a co-worker about Jessica's commitment.  The co-worker attends FMCC.  She knew that we light a candle during worship every time someone from our congregation leads someone to faith in Christ.  She emailed me to see if I would like to light the candle for Jessica.

With Jessica and her mom's permission, we did so the next Sunday!  Even though they were not able to attend because of distance, we continue to rejoice at an eight-year-old life that is now dedicated to serving the Lord! 

Oh Lord,
Help us to burn through that candle so fast that we have to start buying them by the case!
Amen.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Grandchildren!

Last week, my wife and I had the privilege of being with our grandchildren for about five days at Family Camp.  Rylie, nearing 4, stayed in the cottage with us.  That was fun! 
  • jumping on the bed
  • pouring water from cup to cup
  • going to the park to swing
  • the kiddie pool
  • talking in the dark before sleeping
  • riding her 'Barbie' cycle
She may not remember it - but we'll never forget it!

Coltin, 2-1/2, seemed to like me for one day.  The rest of the time he preferred his Mom.   He's very curious and can be quite independent.  Hair style:  Mohawk (I don't think he chose it).  He likes my glasses;  it's a week later, and I'm still trying to get them adjusted.  :-)

PRICELESS!