A phrase was shared a lot several decades ago: "I'm not perfect; just forgiven!" It made a great bumper sticker!
Most of us would be fairly quick to confess a lack of perfection. One of the pressures of being a pastor is that people expect Christian perfection from you. You're a role model or 'poster-person' for the Christian life.
Yet pastors are people and people have flaws. ALL people!
In my years of serving as a pastor, one of my pitfalls was trying to be good at every aspect of my life and ministry. I wanted to be a great husband, dad, teacher, leader, preacher, brother, uncle, neighbor, writer, etc., etc. ad infinitum...
This is a path to burnout, and I've experienced that trauma! As a result, I've learned a few things over the
years; there's always someone smarter, quicker, funnier, more effective, more
creative [this list could go on-and-on].
I initially left seminary without graduating primarily because I didn’t like the competitive environment on campus [I later graduated from a different seminary.].
I never excelled in sports partly because I didn’t have that ‘killer instinct’. If I got a lead, I would lay back – and occasionally lose the game as a result.
For years, ministry was hard for me because I was not the ‘High Dominant’ type of leader. Going to conferences where they asked us to fill out personality profiles made me groan. Those with scores in ‘High D’ were praised and encouraged. Most of the content of those seminars seemed targeted toward them. I was a ‘High C’ = Cooperative Leader. I’m the guy that wanted us all to cross the finish line together! I was the traditional misfit!
I remember a night when I was leading a council meeting at one of my latter churches. We had about twelve at the table. I had given a presentation about significant change for the church that I believed would facilitate growth. I considered it a ‘seed-planting’ presentation, however, the council members seemed to readily embrace the ideas. In a short time, it was vigorously discussed with many favorable thoughts shared. As the end of our meeting time approached, people knew that I would end the meeting at 9:00 PM promptly. In those final moments, a new leader made a motion to accept my proposal in its entirety. We voted – and it passed - with three members abstaining. I chose to end the meeting encouraging the council to pray about this matter and that we would vote again at the next month’s session. As I prepared to adjourn the meeting, one of those who had a lot of questions about the changes, interrupted me. He said, “Pastor, why don’t you pray about it right now and then take another vote. So, I prayed for God’s direction and for clarity regarding the future of our church. Then I reluctantly called for a revote by paper ballot. The decision to move forward was unanimous – with no abstentions!
Within the next three years our congregation exploded with growth! PTL! We all crossed the finish line together!
‘High C’ leaders can be effective! Their process however, typically takes more time – but the results are sometimes more permanent.
But, I digress.
A primary problem for male pastors [I’ll leave the issue for female pastors to someone of that gender] is that out of our great desire to be the ideal leader, there is a temptation to conceal imperfections and failure rather than confessing them. This leads to living behind a façade. While ministry activity is carried on satisfactorily – even exceptionally – the pastor is hiding horrendous practices and behavior! There are far too many headline stories that illustrate this point. And the Church is severely damaged in the process. Faith in pastors is undermined.
We’re left wondering how this pastor could have acted so corruptly?
The answer is, of course, quite simple.
A lack of accountability. The podium role is largely unquestioned. This is exacerbated by a growing church! Who can question success? Consequently, a pastor who starts out working hard, being diligent and with exceptional goals and effort can gradually come to think that s/he deserves certain benefits. Fill in the blank here. They create a caveat that allows them to do things that they would have never considered earlier in their ministry.
And once begun, the escape route of confession and reparation becomes too difficult to face! Until finally the marriage crumbles or the sin is exposed. From that point, the damage has to be assessed and dealt with. Many congregants will walk away disillusioned. The next waves of leadership will live under suspicion. Everyone loses!
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It’s personal for me! I have felt all of the above mentioned stresses and temptations. Although my official record is clean and clear, I know of the dalliances with sin that have dotted my life – as does God!. Thanks to the prayers and support of fellow pastors, parishioners, family and friends, I was able to repeatedly come to the throne of grace and find mercy and grace to help in my times of need!
I made a decision fairly early in my life to lean toward transparency. I’ve talked openly throughout my ministry about difficult seasons and times of distress. I’ve repeatedly aired my struggles and talked about challenging seasons. I’ve paid to see counselors at least four times over the years!
I discovered something remarkable and unexpected from the practice of sharing openly about my tough times. It didn’t make people move away from me. Rather, it seemed to draw people toward me. The confession that I thought might damage my ministry often became something that caused my ministry to prosper! I still marvel at this.
What does this say?
It seems to say that we all struggle in many ways. We can identify with pain, discouragement, setbacks, opposition, meanness, unfairness, bad luck, disappointments, stress, being overwhelmed, even bad decisions or sinful behavior etc., etc.
In spite of high expectations for our leaders, we also recognize that they – like us – are human. Even pastors.
Gracious God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit,
Help our pastors to learn to practice humility and transparency so that even in their weak times – which we all have – they can be enabled by grace to continue to lead with strength and humility!
For the Kingdom’s sake. Amen.
