If You Like Novels

For the better part of my life - I didn't read novels.  However, for my wife, that's all she reads!  When we would leave for a vacation, she used to plead with me to read a novel - just to relax! Occasionally, I gave in;  but then it was right back to reading things that would help me to be a better pastor and leader...

Things began to change when we went to China.  I had a lot of time and my library was at home.  My staff had bought me a Kindle that made it easy to buy Kindle books even from China.  I discovered a few very talented authors who piqued my interest: Charles Martin, Richard Paul Evans, Angela Hunt, John Grisham, Terri Kraus and others.  

I am in awe of writers who can create a story and develop it with skill and intrigue!  I, like others, get drawn into the story and am captivated by its twists and turns!  Now that I'm retired, I am reading more novels than anything else.  I enjoy them!  Many nights, Deb and I sit side-by-side in our living room and never turn the television on.  In case you've forgotten:  A good book does that to you...

In the last two weeks I stumbled on a new series;  I'd like to recommend it.

Dr. Kevin Lehman has been known through decades as the "birth order guy".  He has written more than 50 books, including The Birth Order Book and Born to Win, has made thousands of house calls for Fox & Friends, The View, Today, Bill Bennett's Morning in America, CBS's The Early Show, The 700 Club, CNN, and Good Morning America.  [from the fly-leaf]

Now he has teamed up with Jeff Nesbit, a former senior communications official at the White House and former director of public affairs for two prominent federal science agencies, a strategic communications adviser and the author of 20 novels. He writes At the Edge, a weekly column for U.S. News & World Report.  [from the fly-leaf]

Together, they have produced three novels in a series titled THE WORTHINGTON DESTINY:
   

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Luckily, I picked up the first novel, A PERFECT AMBITION, at Ollie's discount store.  It was a risk.  I really wasn't expecting it to be very good.  However, after a brief stall, I started into it and finished it in three days. Then I ordered the second installation, A POWERFUL SECRET, and couldn't wait for it to arrive.  I ordered the third book, A PRIMARY DECISION, immediately after starting the second - and read it in a day!

The stories are about a wealthy American family (think, the Kennedy's).  Lehman weaves the stories with characteristics of his 'birth order' observations;  however, the novels remain intact and the style is not 'teachy'. The novels are in a 21st century setting and the plots are realistic and fascinating.  

The first book is about the Worthington's oldest child, Will.  [It's essential that you read the books in order.]  The second book is about the middle-child, Sean.  The final book is about the 'baby' of the family, Sarah.  

There are under-tides that involve political corruption, high finance, environmental issues and family secrets. The story-line bounces back-and-forth as multiple threads are followed.  The books are not described as "Christian", however there is evidence of faith manifested in the principle characters.  This is realistic stuff!  

Debbie is now reading the last of the three and is equally enthralled by them!  

Having discovered a treasure - I just thought I'd pass it along!  :-)   Enjoy!

I'm Glad We Didn't Stop After Two!

Tracie Elizabeth Haire Kerstetter was born on this day thirty-six years ago! She weighed six pounds and thirteen ounces.  She hardly had any hair.  For the first couple of years her Mom taped pink ribbons on her head!  She eventually developed beautiful hair!

We had agreed to name her Tracibeth, but when the nurse came around for our final decision, Debbie gave her the name above.  I've continued to call her Tracibeth through the years.

With two older brothers, she used to say "Me, too!" a lot.  That became another nickname for her.  So I occasionally referred to her as 'Me, too!'.  :-)

Early on, she exhibited an aggressive personality.  She loves to laugh!  She makes friends easily. Troy was (and is) very shy, but Tracie made lots of friends FOR HIM!!!!  

Being only eleven months apart, they grew up like twins.  They were true playmates and nearly inseparable.  She had elements of a 'Tom-boy' and could get just as dirty as the boys!

When Troy became part of the boys basketball team, she became a cheerleader!  She had church-friends and school-friends and enjoyed them all!

She has always loved and respected her brothers!  Debbie and I prayed that our kids would love each other;  they always have!

School seemed easy for her.  She has high verbal skills.  She sees all sides of an issue and can argue her thoughts effectively.  Early on, I suggested she become a lawyer;  she never warmed to that idea. I think she would have made a great one.  She has a keen sense of justice and quickly leaps to another person's defense.

We noticed, when she became a teenager, that she had a penchant for rescuing.  She frequently made friends with kids who were shut out by others.

Tracie has never fit molds.  None of our kids bought into the stereotypical 'Preacher's Kid' role!  They refused to be defined by my vocation.  Across the board, if she thought you expected a certain behavior - she would choose another response.  Some might say she has a stubborn streak, but not me.  :-)

When we were operating a licensed home for severely behaviorally challenged children, she was very supportive.  However, when we had kids that were disrespectful, she was intolerant.

She waited till she was 19 to learn to drive.  After graduating, she began her independent life by moving back to Maryland where she had a host of friends.  She moved in with her best friend, Allison (and her sister and Dad). Allison is like a daughter to us and has been a best friend to all three of our kids!  We celebrated her wedding in Maryland in early July!

Eventually, Tracie met a guy that she fell in love with.  I gave him a pretty hard time, but he stuck around.  Today, we're proud to own him as a wonderful son-in-law!

A little over a year before she married, she moved back in with us so her Mom could assist her in planning for the wedding.  I teased her because she never asked for permission;  just showed up and moved in!  We had a wonderful year together and she and I had some really special 'talk-times' that year.  She got involved at FMCC that year;  I've never had a better PowerPoint operator!!!!!  :-)

Through my growing-up years, I always noticed a trait that made itself evident on the Haire side of my family.  My Dad had five sisters and they all exhibited this trait.  It's a hard trait to capture in one word, but it includes: confidence, outspokenness, competence, having strong opinions, independence and perhaps a few others.  My sister, Beverly, has these traits;  as does my niece, Sandee.  Yep!  Tracie, too!

I have watched her for thirty-six years.  She has made me SO PROUD!  She never challenged our authority while growing up.  She never broke the trust! She was the one who ignited the practice of openly saying, "I love you!" in our one-on-one conversations within our family!

She became J. C. Penney's youngest manager while working in Maryland! She quickly rose to a similar place of respect at the same chain in Boardman (while living with us).  She worked for Home Depot a few years ago and constantly resisted their strong attempts to make her a manager.  

She is extremely well organized and leads her home with finesse.  She is a protective mother who aggressively advocates for her kids and actively plays with them.  I know superlatives abound here, but, honestly, I have never seen a better mother!

From what I can see, she and Jon have a wonderful marriage where they value and prioritize each other!  Open expressions of affection in the home are normal.

And, of course, to top it off, she and Jon have given us two precious gifts named: Rylie and Coltin!

Her heart was broken when Travis died.  She has redirected her love for Travis toward his husband, Josh!  Of course, Josh is solidly a part of our family and we love having him around!

In some ways, Tracie is a lot like Travis.  I don't talk to her every day.  We don't text a lot (except for the family texts that are quite frequent - which she usually starts).  But every once-in-a-while, I get a text saying, "What's up, Dad?" or "What are you up to?"  If she knows I'm hurting or going through a tough time, she texts: "How are you, Dad?"  And there have been a few times when she's been VERY DIRECT with me - especially if she knows her Mom is hurting!

Last year, she initiated a Haire-Family trip to Disney World in Orlando!  We made precious memories as we spent a week together (including Jon's sister and parents)!

I hope you've had a chance to meet our wonderful daughter!  I have always and will always love her. I just wish my Mom and Dad were still around to see what a wonderful woman she's become!

A Pivotal Day!

August 11, 1973

My whole family had gathered for the big event.  Several of us slept in the basement of my parent's home on William Penn Way (in New Brighton). Pretty much everyone was excited!  My brother, Ira, was the only one who tried to talk me out of it.

I got to the church plenty early.  My best friend, Bob Creese, was my best man!  He was a nervous wreck!  We stepped outside the church for a while so he could smoke.

The church was filled with family and friends (some later said they'd never seen the church so packed).  It was warm.  Dave Eakin was the presiding minister.

Deb's sisters (all five of them) preceded her down the aisle.  Finally, her Dad escorted her in!  Wow! She looked breathtakingly beautiful!  I couldn't believe she was about to become my wife!

I had written the ceremony with some counsel from my lifelong mentor, Glenn Hughes.  It was not flashy, but it got the job done.

The reception was at a firehall on 37th Street Extension in Beaver Falls.  It was crowded.  During the reception, Pastor Eakin stepped in behind our table.  He reported that a few of my aunts had pointed out that he had never officially pronounced us as "husband and wife";  so he did it there at our table!

My boss, Carlos Twitchell, (also my brother's father-in-law) also came to our table and slipped me a fifty dollar bill!  With it he said, "When you have breakfast tomorrow, order a steak."   I did!  Not the next day (Sunday), but on Monday morning at the Clarion Clipper Restaurant in Clarion, PA.  :-)

When it was time to leave for our honeymoon, our car had been sabotaged.  The windows were smeared with mayonnaise and the engine had Limburger cheese.  I had to drive straight to a car wash before we could leave town!

We spent our honeymoon night at Debbie's Aunt Dorothy's chalet in Marionville, PA.

On our wedding day, my sister-in-law informed me that we would be expected to return on Sunday morning to worship at my home church.  This necessitated a lot of unnecessary driving.  I bowed to the pressure and we did so.  Looking back:  it was a dumb idea!

On Monday we went to Conneaut Lake Park in Conneaut, PA.  While there we ran into a man from the New Brighton Free Methodist Church:  Joe Plassmeyer.  He bought us iced cream cones to celebrate our marriage!

Then we drove to a place called The Summit.  It was a honeymoon resort in the Pocono Mountains. We had a room with a heart shaped hot tub and a king sized bed!  We ate with many other couples in a lovely dining room!  Some were celebrating anniversaries as well as marriages.

One afternoon we participated in 'sack races'.  That evening we were presented a trophy at the evening meal titled:  'Best in the Sack at The Summit".  No kidding (I still have it)!

Actually, we didn't do a lot of celebrating.  Deb pretty quickly got an infection and had to see a doctor for an antibiotic.  :-(

Upon our arrival back at my folk's house, we opened all of our wedding gifts.  On Saturday, we packed up a U-Haul truck and headed for Wilmore, Kentucky, where I would soon be attending Asbury Theological Seminary.

Debbie followed me in our old Buick.  Going through Cincinnati, I told her to stick close to me. Most of the time, I couldn't even see her because she was so close behind the truck!

We pulled into Wilmore around 9:00 PM.  I backed the truck up to our duplex door and we collapsed. Suddenly, couples started appearing from every direction.  In short order, the truck was unloaded. Debbie simply stood at the door and told people where to put things.  A few women sneaked into our bedroom and set up the bed;  even found our sheets and had it all ready for us to climb into!  We didn't even know most of these people, but we do remember that Wayne and Becky Sawyer were part of the group!

Monday morning, Debbie started her new job at the First Security National Bank in Lexington. Shortly after, I began car-pooling with three other seminarians to UPS for the late-night shift!  These guys became a support group for the next couple of years.

Within a week, Debbie pulled a muscle in her back and was laid up.  We had no phone yet.  I remember walking down the street late one night and calling home for advice.  I truly felt the aloneness and responsibility I had for my new wife.  She recovered after seeing a doctor and we got settled in to our new life together in a new place!

Forty-four years later, the adventure continues...

Dad Reflections

When I was growing up, I knew I had a good Dad because my Mom repeatedly told me:  "You have a good Dad!"  :-)   She didn't have to tell me - I knew he was a good man.  He was kind of quiet, but he had earned the respect of lots of people over the years.

He was the lay delegate to the Pittsburgh Annual Conference for decades. He was the secretary of the New Brighton Official Board and the Rochester District Conference equally as long (in those days the minutes were hand-written).  He served the Pittsburgh Conference in many capacities, foremost being a member of the Stationing Committee for over twenty-five years (now known as the Ministerial Appointments Committee).  He was a Class Leader for many years.  He was a trustee of the local church and of the Tri State Campground.  He was honored to be elected as a lay delegate to the Free Methodist General Conference five times!

Not a bad legacy for a man who dropped out of school after the eighth grade! At that time he concealed his real age in order to be hired at the Townsend Company where he ran nail-making machines for thirty years.  When they shut down the nail mill they sent him to night school to prepare him for running the new rivet machines.  He struggled with learning decimals and fractions;  I was in high school at the time and was able to help him with his homework!  :-)  After running rivet machines for about eight years, he moved to the tool-crib where he finished out his forty-eight years with the company!

He was not an affectionate man [see blog article "I Taught My Dad to Hug" written in June, 2012]. He worked a lot of overtime and then served as an evening maintenance man at the local children's home.  When he came home, my mother always had supper ready.  After the meal, he would retire to his bedroom to listen to WBVP on his stereo radio and read the evening paper.  He would only occasionally join Mom and me in watching television. He loved Gunsmoke and Paladin and also like Red Skelton (which surprised me).

I remember some Sunday afternoons when he would throw the baseball with me in the front yard. My mother - being a strict Sabbatarian - wasn't too thrilled when that happened!  By the time I was a teen, he had earned six weeks of vacation per year!  He took us camping near Salamanca, New York for two weeks every summer!  Those were fun times when I got to know him better.  He would swim with me and play games as well!

He loved my Mom and honored her in everything.  He was an excellent money-manager.  When I was four they sold their house on Mt. Washington (in Beaver Falls) and bought a brand new home in New Brighton.  I can barely remember their excitement at this move.

When our kids came along, he paid a lot of attention to them and loved them!  Fortunately, Troy and Tracie each have a few memories of Grandpap Haire!  They LOVED going to visit my folks because they had many bowls of candy in the living room!

After being extremely healthy for nearly 78 years, he struggled with physical problems for his last year-and-a-half.  He died in Mercy Hospital on the last Sunday of Family Camp in 1992.  I miss him dearly and often think of what a blessing he would be if he was still around.

Now, I'm 65 and retired.  Our children are grown and no longer dependent on us.  We delight in opportunities to spend time with them and LOVE their company!  Just this morning, I sat in worship with Troy;  then he took me to Five Guys for lunch.  We stopped to visit an old friend of mine on the way home and then he showed me a house that he's interested in.  The card he gave me stated:  "I'm blessed today...for the way you raised me, the values you instilled in your kids, your commitment to Mom, and now for your friendship..."  I'm humbled and honored!

I love being a Dad (and now a 'Poppy').  I'm SO PROUD of my kids!

Tracibeth (my personal name for her since she was born) is a truly amazing woman!  She is a great Mom and a dedicated wife!  She has been greatly appreciated over the years in the several jobs she has held (J. C. Penney's and Home Depot).  She led a support system for Navy wives during periods of Jon's deployment and mentored other wives through the reality of absent husbands for seven-month seasons.  She has co-led small groups in their church along with Jon!  She organized a Haire-family trip to Disney last October that none of us will ever forget!  She has phenomenal gifts for organization and leadership (although she doesn't fully recognize the latter yet).  When she was little, I told her that she could be anything she wanted to be.  At that time, I thought she might choose to be a lawyer, but she chose a higher path!  Everything she does makes me proud and it is impossible to express my love for her in a blog article!!!

Troy is (as stated above) one of my newest friends!  Building a garage together since last September has been an amazing way to get to know him better!  He is patient and determined to an extent that I had not fully realized before.  He has strong perfectionistic tendencies that he didn't get from me!  He is strong and capable with a consuming desire to learn new skills and gain new knowledge!  From what I can see, he is an excellent husband and cares passionately for Missy!  He loves her and prioritizes time with her on their shared days off!  I hope someday he has the opportunity to be a Dad;  I'm confident that he'd be a great one!  He surprises me with his sensitivity and his creativity. He takes his work (as a fire-fighter) very seriously and has stayed in excellent physical shape because of the importance of his work!  The word 'proud' doesn't even get close to describing my feelings about him!

Travis will always be dearly missed!  I've written about him many times before and will minimize my thoughts here.  He accomplished so much that continues to dazzle me!  I believe he was capable of doing just about anything!  I miss his input as Debbie and I make major decisions in our lives.  He was wise, impulsive, committed, mischievous, fun-loving, intelligent, determined (bull-headed), and universally respected!  He loved deeply and broadly and his circle of friendships covered all the bases [see "He Was My Friend" blog article from October, 2015].  Never a day passes without thinking of him and missing him.  He brought Josh into our lives - for which we are so grateful!  Josh's recent trip east for my retirement party gave us extended time to reminisce and share deeply together!  "Travis, I love you, son, and always will!"  His name for me was 'Pops', and I so miss hearing it from him!

So, you see, I am a blessed son and Dad!  God has been SO GOOD to me and I certainly didn't earn it and don't deserve it.

"How can I say thinks for the things You have done for me?  

Things so undeserved, yet You gave to prove Your love for me.  

The voices of a million angels could not express my gratitude.  

All that I am and ever hope to be, I owe it all to Thee.  

To God be the glory!" 

[words by Andre Crouch].  

Buying Sneakers

I remember my Mom taking me to Pic-Way to buy my tennis shoes.  I was embarrassed about that, but, at least I occasionally got new ones!  When I became a teenager, I begged her to buy me a pair of Converse tennis shoes; she conceded and took me to Northern Lights and bought me a pair for $15. I remember how upset she was to pay such a price!

She infected my thinking!  Ever since, I hate to pay a lot of money for a pair of shoes!  I squawk and complain when Deb tries to talk me into spending $50 (or more) for a pair of shoes!  In my head, I know that shoe prices have gone up considerably since 1967, however, part of me still thinks that paying over $15 is criminal!

I've been stating recently that I need a new pair of sneakers for summer. So, today Deb took me to Gabe's to buy me a pair for Father's Day!

As usual, she quickly became distracted at the entrance along with hordes of other women who were sitting on the ground sorting through boxes of jewelry (most of which was a tangled mess). Meanwhile, I cruised through the store and picked out several items that I found interesting.

Then I got to the shoe section well ahead of her.  I quickly perused the stacks of size 11 shoes and found a pair to my liking.  Just as I was removing them - Deb arrived.  Here are the shoes I selected:

Cost - $35

Deb seemed to feel the need to give me other options.  So, soon I was trying on pair after pair of sneakers of a variety of brands, styles and colors!  

She liked this pair:

Cost - $50

Which, of course, is out of the question since I had already found a pair I liked for $35.  But, she's persistent and the shoes kept coming at me!  

"How about this pair?"

Cost - $55

Need I say more?  However, I must admit that they would go nice with my new daily uniform of blue jeans and T-shirt!  

"Do you like these?"

Cost - $50

They were too soft;  almost like they were made of foam rubber!  Besides, they're RED!  Are you kidding me?

"These are nice!  They're a lot like the ones you're wearing now..."  [Tactical move!]

Cost - $45

"They're OK, but what about the ones I picked out before you got here?  Don't you like them?  They're only $35!"

She didn't seem to hear me.

Suddenly, I remembered the advice our family doctor had given my Dad MANY years ago:  

"Leonard,

Never skimp when it comes to two things:

your shoes and your bed!

You spend all day in your shoes and all night in your bed.

Spend the money on these items as an investment in your health!"

Should I follow Dr. Chadwick's advice?  Should I shuck out the extra for these sneakers?  I was feeling the pressure!

"Here's a nice pair;  they're young-looking!"  [Big smile!  -  The heat is on now!]   

By the way, I'm 65!!!!!

I was beginning to feel the need to compromise!  Besides, I was on the verge of a panic attack and really needed to escape the shoe department!  By the way, did you know that green is my favorite color?  Yep, just like God, I LOVE the color green!

But, there was still time on the clock!  "I really like these, plus, you've never had blue sneakers before!  And, they're only $40."

That was it!  I caved!  Sorry guys...

So, these went back on the shelf...

...and these went home with me!

But I don't think I'm allowed to wear them until Father's Day.

I hope they wear well because I need some time to recuperate before going through this process again!  Whew!

Here Are The Reasons

I attended the annual sessions of the Pittsburgh Conference on Friday and Saturday.  While there, we captured the following picture including the four most recent pastors of the Kittanning Free Methodist Church.

Hal, Wayne Sawyer, Forrest States, and Mel McRoberts

At the conclusion of the conference, Bishop Roller read Forrest States' name out as the new pastor of the Kittanning Church.  That made it official:  I'm retired!

An old friend came up to me during the conference with a very blunt question:  "Hal, why are you retiring?"

Being 65 had almost nothing to do with my decision;  actually, I had expected to lead a church well beyond this age.  However, there are several answers to his question.

Foremost is that I recognized I'm not leading with the same passion, enthusiasm and creativity that has characterized most of my ministry years. I vowed to myself many years ago that I would step out when I realized that was happening.

A second reason is my hearing deficiency!  In spite of buying some very expensive hearing aids, I still struggle in most settings.  I'm thankful I can still hear, but the loss is far more of a problem than most people realize!

Another reason:  I didn't like being a 'commuting pastor'.  The 62-mile trip took 75 minutes to drive. I found myself increasingly fighting sleep while driving.  Because of the trip's expense, I slept on the floor in my office two nights a week - that got old fast!  ;-)   Being away from Debbie three days a week was challenging.

There are other reasons, but I'll omit them here.  Suffice it to say that I'm excited about our future. Debbie and I have been given the blessings of good health and a strong marriage.  There are things we look forward to pursuing individually and as a couple.

Only yesterday we had lunch with Dale W____, Free Methodist Missions Director for the Middle East.  We crossed paths with him a number of times while we were in China.  He opened doors for us to consider in his area! Exciting possibilities!  :-)

But today, I'm very grateful for the family and friends who wish us well on our new journey!  The Kittanning FMC congregation was very gracious in parting with us.  I'm very excited for them as they welcome Pastor Forrest (and Elsie) States this morning!  I believe their future will be bright and fruitful!

Last weekend, Debbie hosted a very enjoyable retirement party for me (with a lot of help from our kids and her family)!  I was honored!  I've received lovely cards and gifts!

I've said it many times and I'll say it again:  When the Bible talks about the prosperous man - it's talking about me!

Kind and Gracious God,

Thank You for helping me through these many years of schooling and ministry!  

Thank You for my family and their love and care!

Thank You for the abundance of friends You've blessed me with through the years!

Thank You for the kindness and cooperation of my congregations!  I have many memories of exciting times of ministry to ponder during these retirement years!  

And thank You for the hope of a renewed purpose and direction for the years that remain!  

May I always be Your faithful servant...

Amen. 

Turning Things Around

I recently placed a joke on my Face Book page:

When I asked my friend if she was planning to attend church, she just shook her head. "I haven't gone in a long time," she said.

"Besides, it's too late for me. I've probably already broken all seven commandments."

It's really not funny.  It pokes fun at a culture that has forgotten the important guidelines that God wrote with His own hand for Moses!

Why not test yourself right now?  How many of the Ten Commandments can you name?  Do you know where to find them (other than Google)?  After you've jotted them down on paper or in your mind, check yourself by grabbing a Bible and looking in Exodus 20 or Deuteronomy 5.  How'd you do?

This morning I read Jeremiah 9 and was struck with God's strong remarks about lying!  Apparently Judah was consumed with patterns of lying that were destroying trust among the people and breaking the heart of God!

[God speaking]   With tongues bent like bows they shoot their lies at one another.  Truth does not win out in this land;  deceit always seems to triumph.  One evil leads to another because they don't know who I am...every brother is ready to cheat and deceive;  every neighbor is prepared to lie when it suits him.  In this land of liars, friends have no misgivings about deceiving one another;  no one even thinks to tell the truth. They've trained their tongues to utter lies;  they wear themselves out with all their sinning.  Jeremiah, you live in a place where deception is assumed;  as their lies pile up, they refuse to acknowledge Me.

It occurred to me that this could very well be a description of our American culture.  We are reaping the benefits of Seinfeld and Friends from previous decades.  We've scrubbed the Ten Commandments from our school walls and public forums.  A mere 20% of our population attend worship on any given Sunday. Honesty and integrity are exceptional descriptors today and we marvel when we see their examples.  

Businesses pass on their losses from shop-lifting and we all pay the price of a culture that is losing its underpinnings.  I could go on, but do I really need to?

The end result of Jeremiah's message was to see the people hauled away into exile in Babylon!  No one knows yet what the end result will be for America.

But for those of us who care, what can we do?

The answer is obvious.

Exhibit honesty and integrity in all our dealings!  Practice, model and exhort conformity to God's 'Big Ten'.  Talk about these things to our children, grandchildren, friends and neighbors.  Do it while you're playing, or during a meal, or when you take a walk together (Deuteronomy 6:4-9)!  

Begin again to weave a cultural fabric that's founded on the principles taught in God's Word!  Believe with all our hearts that God will honor such behavior (because He does!).  

Resist conformity to cultural modes.  Set high, godly standards for all who are watching you live your life.  

There was a day in our history when deals were made and sealed with a handshake.  A man's word was a thing of value.  Let's forge a future that has the same power!  I'll work hard at it - how about you?  

For a related post, check out "I Lied" (written November 15, 2011).