SUBTERRANEAN SADNESS

I have a faint memory of slipping into my bedroom during the Christmas season when I was a young boy, where I would lay on my bed in the darkness and brood.  It didn’t happen regularly, but I seem to recall it happening several times.  What was this about?

I lived in a healthy, happy home where I was loved and cared for. My needs were met and I had no real problems in my young life.  Why do I associate these few random times with Christmas? 

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I am proud of the churches that offer a ‘Blue Christmas’ service.  It provides an opportunity and gives permission for people to have trouble while processing through the Christmas season.  I wish that I had thought of this idea when I was leading the church. 

As a counselor who has worked with hundreds of couples and individuals over the years, I think this is a worthy topic to address.

Why do some of us have periodic bouts with depression?  Why do they occur when they do?  Are there any tools we can employ to help process these times?  Is there knowledge that can help us understand and cope with these times?

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There is no way to address this topic comprehensively in a single blog post – but let’s at least introduce the topic. 

Many draught-ridden areas around our globe have learned to benefit by tapping into underground rivers and reservoirs.  That’s a positive thing!

Similarly, I have come to understand that some of us have rivers of ‘subterranean sadness’ that periodically find their way to the surface and cause us problems.

What provokes these eruptions of sadness? 

Sometimes – like the Christmas season – it could simply be the emphasis on joy and celebration!  The simple expectation that we should be happy may – in and of itself – trigger sadness.  We’re speaking of the emotional realm here where things are not always governed by laws and principles!  Our emotional make-up is integral to who we are and how we experience life. 

Some psychologists suggest that our minds log everything!  Everything?  That’s a lot to process and keep organized [or suppressed].  Everything includes bad experiences and sad moments that marked us significantly.  It’s easy to understand how memories that we’ve repressed tend to gravitate to the surface and become a problem for us again.

REPRESSED is a term used by counselors that implies pushing down uncomfortable feelings, experiences and memories into our subconscious without fully dealing with or understanding  their ramifications. 

Counselors believe that these memories percolate on a deep-memory-level.  Consider this a dormant stage.  However, when circumstances in our life provoke these memories, they are believed to migrate back into our consciousness along with their recollections of pain, sorrow, anger, hurt, etc., etc..

So, we’re rolling along, doing pretty well, when suddenly – through life’s normal interplay of people and events – we find ourselves feeling vulnerable and distracted.  We don’t understand what’s going on.  Emotions are POWERFUL!  They handicap us!  They have the power to distract us and distort our normal way-of-being. 

The result – DEPRESSION! 

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Most of us need help, instruction, comfort, and trust to navigate our way through these complex, emotional sand traps. 

The best place to turn is to a trained and qualified counselor!  By doing so, we gain:

·         Their objectivity

·         Anonymity [We see them for a period and then move on…]

·         Their expertise.

Many turn to friends and/or family, but this incorporates risks.  Sharing secret hurts and past experiences with those from our closest circles runs the risk of changing the dynamics of those relationships  -  something that we may not anticipate, but may regret.

Some pastors have training and gift packages that allow them to be effective interventionists for these life-interruptions.  Others, however, have no interest and no skills that are appropriate to this challenge. 

Before closing this article, I’d like to mention three observations that I have made through the years that have helped me cope with and learn from my depressive dips.

1.    Having served as a spiritual guide through the years, I have observed that there is always a satanic factor involved in these depressive episodes and that it usually has most to do with their timing!

It might be helpful to sit down with a journal and ask yourself some questions:

·         Why am I experiencing this depressive episode right now?

·         What is going on in my life that has triggered this sadness?

·         Is there a particular memory that is pervasive right now?

·         When have I felt this way before?

     This is an excellent opportunity to exercise the ancient, spiritual practice of meditation!  Sit quietly and uninterrupted and talk with God about your present experience.  Ask God to shed light on this unwelcome experience.  Write down whatever thoughts that may come to your mind – however unrelated they may seem.  At a later time, these observations may make sense! 

2.    I have to talk if I want to grow through this experience!

So many have protested through the years: “What good does talking about it do?” 

Well, the science is now in!  The evidence reveals that the process of talking changes the chemical make-up in our brain! 

Talking – especially with a properly trained person – can indeed help!  We gain perspective from a guide who has our best interests at heart.  We have truths and observations reflected to us that allows us to look at a situation in a new way.  We gain insights!  These insights will help us with future eruptions. 

3.    There is usually a spiritual factor that I need to recognize, work through or confess.

Here is where speaking with a pastor might truly be helpful. 

It is also a point where an increased exposure to scripture might open doors of understanding. 

There are books that might be helpful.  Two that I would recommend are both by the late David A. Seamands:  HEALING OF MEMORIES and HEALING FOR DAMAGED EMOTIONS [both currently available on Amazon for very low prices]. 

When I deal with a persistent depression, I turn to D. Martyn Lloyd Jones’ book, SPIRITUAL DEPRESSION: It’s Causes and It’s Cures.  It’s heavy reading that most would not respond to.  I don’t believe I’ve ever finished reading it!  Usually after the first five chapters, I have gained insight and perspective and have made adjustments to my spiritual life. 

Do an honest self-search!  What does God want you to learn from this experience?  How is He working to create in you a greater dependence on Him? 

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I hope these ruminations have provoked some hope in you as you address the ‘subterranean sadness’ that is rattling your life currently.  There is hope!  You can grow as a result of this depressive experience.  You can gain understanding that will equip you to be more effective in dealing with these interruptions in the future!  GOD BLESS AND HELP YOU!