THE HARDEST PART OF GROWING OLD

I recently wrote about my years of leading the Oakland Free Methodist Church.  They were stressful years for many reasons.  The pursuit of my educational goals was one of those reasons.  After finally completing my Master of Divinity degree, I decided to go a big step further to acquire a master's degree in counseling.  I was accepted at the Franciscan University of Steubenville and began attending classes in the fall of 1990.

Our class was relatively small with perhaps twenty students - almost all of which were considerably younger than me. Attending a charismatic Catholic University was a stretch for me.  No one there had ever heard of the Free Methodist Church.  Making connections was a challenge. 

However, this one fellow and I clicked.  His name was Ed Andrade.  He was a handsome, charming, friendly guy who immediately accepted me and became my friend!  Ed was a 'people person' to the 'Nth' degree.  Everybody loved and admired him.  His primary gifts were in loving and accepting people and doing all that he could do to move them along on their journey.  

Ed immediately gave me a 'comfort zone' from which to operate. I went by Harold in those days; I loved the way Ed said my name, somehow he managed to stick a 'w' into it!  😉  My other classmates were also friendly and accepting of me. I became close to several of them as well, and they made my journey quite enjoyable.

A big part of our bond emerged from our common love for God and desire to be godly men!  I felt that - in Ed - I had found a truly godly brother!  I loved every minute that we had together.  I was in their apartment many times during those two years.  

Ed and I deepened our friendship by getting our spouses together also.  They came to our home in East Liverpool several times.  Our kids were young teens about that time.  Ed and Holly were expecting their first.  We socialized on a number of occasions and even attended Kolbe's christening.  

I remember a Sunday that Ed and Holly came to visit us in the afternoon.  When it came time for me to head to church for our evening service, we invited them to come along.  They did.  At the end of the service, I introduced Ed and invited him to give the closing prayer for our service.  In the Free Methodist Church, we are considerably less formal than you would find in a Catholic Church.  I think I shook Ed with my request, but he stood and offered a beautiful prayer from his heart - which was the only way he knew to pray!

For a while, we shared office space with one of our professors as each of us considered opening a counseling office.  Ed's skills were matched to his ability to make quick, deep connections with people!  

But, after our graduation our paths took us in different directions.  In 1995, Debbie and I moved our family to Maryland for several years.  Ed and Holly grew their family and eventually ended up living in Florida.  

One of the deep regrets of my life will always be that I didn't cling to this friendship!  Ed had become a true Christian brother and had helped me negotiate those challenging years.  

All of my classmates and several of my professors encouraged and helped me during that span of two years.  I was struggling with my call to ministry and seriously considering other avenues to pursue.  My depressive experiences were peaking during this time and Franciscan University became a nurturing and accepting environment for me.  I will be forever grateful for the small group interactions, the lunchtime dialogues, the encouragement received from several of our professors and the rich experience of sharing the mass with my new friends!  

Thank you to all of you for accepting me and befriending me!  My life's journey has been deeply enriched by your impact!

I received news this morning that my dear friend, Ed Andrade, has passed into the everlasting arms of Jesus!  My sadness is beyond describing!  My regret over not maintaining this friendship will travel with me!  Friendships like Ed and I enjoyed are rare.  I should have recognized that and worked harder at staying connected.  I would have been richer for it!  My tears flow freely and my sadness for Ed's family is overwhelming!  This was a good, good man!  

But the comfort we have as followers of Christ is the knowledge that we shall be together again - FOR ALL ETERNITY!  

May God be forever praised and may Holly and Ed's beautiful family be comforted by the Holy Spirit during these hard, hard days.  

EXPERIENCING THE PRESENCE OF GOD – 3

The spiritual influences that formed me have been diverse.

I’ve already spoken of the impact of my ‘growing up’ church experience.

Immediately after Debbie and I were married, we took up residence in Wilmore, Kentucky where I attended Asbury Theological Seminary for three years.  It was a United Methodist school, so the diversity represented there – in professors and students – wasn’t extreme.

However, within two years of leaving Asbury, I continued my theological education at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary.  In this setting the theology department was focusing on multiple threads of training:  Liberation Theology, Feminist Theology [half my classmates were women], Calvinistic Theology, and Process Theology.  I struggled with the challenges I faced during this period, but I believe I came out stronger as a result of this exposure and tension.

While attending PTS, I also dabbled in some Roman Catholic experiences.  I was particularly impacted by a program called ‘Domus Dei’ [House of God].  It was an exhaustive engagement with a group of people who determined to experience God through introspection and meditation!  I made new friends and developed a greater intimacy with God through blended and shared expressions of solitude and silence.

Within a very short time, I began studying for a Master of Arts degree in Counseling at the Franciscan University of Steubenville [OH].  Franciscan is a charismatic Catholic University.  My classmates became my friends.  I attended full-time for two years to accomplish my goal [while being a full-time pastor of a growing church and a husband and dad]. During this two years, I attended the noon mass on campus with my classmates.  I picketed abortion clinics with my classmates.  Debbie and I became very close to one couple in particular.  Ed had a heavy impact on me during these years.

During the summer, Franciscan held massive tent meetings on campus.  People came from far and wide to attend these meetings.  I participated in these several times and was deeply influenced by the powerful manifestation of the Spirit in these meetings. 

One of the things that impressed me most was that when the meetings ended, I remained in my seat and just didn’t want to leave!  I was not alone!  Many remained in their seats.  The worship team continued to play and we continued to worship.  Sometimes these ‘post-worship’ seasons went on for another hour!  The presence of God was tangible!  There was weeping.  People went forward – alone or in groups – to pray.  The singing moderated between joyful awareness and humble submission.  The worship team was extremely sensitive to the mood of the people!  I was always one of the last to leave!  My most memorable and dynamic experiences of the presence of God took place in those tents and in that chapel!

From this time forward, I tried to train worship teams to replicate this type of experience.  The difference was in the realization that the worship team had two roles:

1.    To lead passionately and draw people into the presence of God.  This implied that the worship team members had to already BE IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD!

2.    To lead responsively – sensing and responding to the mood of the worshippers.  This required courage and a yielding to the Spirit in the moment!

I remember the first time that our people began to linger after the worship service ended.  While many left the sanctuary, others remained and moved closer to the worship team to be united with them in delivering our praise to God!  I was exuberant to see this occurring!  I felt that a barrier had been broken! 

I was indelibly impacted by these eclectic and divergent experiences.  I am thankful to God for guiding me and allowing me to experience His presence in environments that were not part of my ‘growing-up’ tradition!  It has enriched my life in innumerable ways!