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Showing posts with label Teens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Teens. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 15, 2025

A WAKE-UP CALL FOR YOUNG PEOPLE!

There’s a personal story that I have shared on occasion with younger people who are still in their formative years.

While studying for my Masters of Divinity degree at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary [a three-year course that I managed to complete in eleven years as a part-time commuter], I heard about a dual degree option with the University of Pittsburgh that would merge coursework and allow me to also attain a Master of Social Work degree [which would have been a door-opener for me into the world of counseling]. 

I applied and was not accepted.  I appealed the decision and was told that they had MANY applications that particular year and they had to go back to high school records to make final decisions.  They then reported that although all of my graduate and post-graduate work was excellent, I had received twenty-eight C’s during my high school career!  That eliminated me from consideration. 

I had not been highly motivated in high school.  My parents didn’t place high demands on me; they were happy with C’s.  Obviously, I was capable of much better grades, but I had no sense of purpose in making the investment to receive higher evaluations.

Very few high school students are aware of the impact their high school performance might have on their future. 

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For several hours yesterday, I sat and watched the broadcast of a Senate subcommittee in the process of questioning [and lecturing] Pete Hegseth – President-elect Trump’s candidate for the Secretary of Defense.

It was difficult to listen to.  For the most part, the Republican Senators complimented him on his qualifications and passion, while their Democratic counterparts literally took Hegseth apart in many areas.  It should be noted that this is standard procedure for Senators in this process. 

At one point or another during this process, Mr. Hegseth was accused openly of the following:

·         repeated public incidents of being extremely drunk

·         being in his third marriage

·         admitting to having immoral sexual relationships while in his first marriage

·         having an immoral sexual relationship outside of his second marriage that ended in a pregnancy [and his third marriage]

·         making public comments about women not having a place in the military

·         drinking on the job while a host on the Fox News Channel

·         inappropriate behavior with female employees

·         poor management of several organizations that he previously led that reportedly saw a significant drop in contributions during his leadership

He was repeatedly accused of having a lack of integrity and being extremely unqualified for the level of leadership that he was nominated for. 

He consistently defended his record and withstood the onslaught of accusations and allegations.  He frequently referred to “having been cleared of all wrongdoing” or by openly denying the reality of the Senator’s reports.

Although I am a Trump supporter, I have no vested interest in the outcome of this process.  I am not particularly a fan of Pete Hegseth.  I don’t have sufficient background information to be capable of deciding whether or not he should serve in this role at such a high level of our government.  I will leave the outcome of this process to those who do have the information and the power.

My interest in this painful and embarrassing saga is the education of our youth!

Here’s a man who clearly has struggled with alcohol abuse.  His insistence that he will NOT drink if appointed as the Secretary of Defense is hard to believe. 

Here’s a man who has had repeated marriages and has a record of infidelity.

Here’s a man who has failed to garner respect from his fellow employees.

Here’s a man who is reported to have treated women in a demeaning manner.

Here’s a man whose past statements have the potential to prevent him from holding a highly privileged and extremely powerful position.

Here also is a man who claims to have had a spiritual awakening within the last thirty days – since he was nominated by President-elect Trump for the position of Secretary of Defense! 

THESE ARE HEAVY CONSDERATIONS THAT OUR SENATORS ARE CONSIDERING!

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Suddenly – in a totally unforeseen manner – Pete Hegseth discovered that he had been noticed by the President-elect! 

In a turn of events that most would never have imagined, Pete Hegseth is seriously being considered for an extremely important leadership role in the future development of our country!

Here’s the question for young people to consider:  If Pete had seen this coming, might he have changed his behavior in the past?  Having lived in an apparently reckless manner, does he now look back with regrets?  Does he wish he would have worked harder on his marriages?  Do the fleeting rewards of sexual irresponsibility now seem foolish?  If he could, wouldn’t he like to purge numerous areas of his life from public knowledge? 

Our youth are not known for great wisdom.  They are inexperienced and curious.  They want to experiment and discover things for themselves. 

They need guidance and parameters!  That’s why God gave them a parent from each gender to advise and protect them throughout their development. 

Wise parents might take the ‘Pete Hegseth’ episode and talk about it with their youth.  Some starting points might be:

·         Do you think Pete has regrets about his past behavior?

·         You need to be careful about your daily activity.  It may affect your future! Life is a progression. The things you say and do today may have an impact on your future.

·         What are your goals for the future?  What are some behaviors and decisions that could totally destroy your hopes?

·         In light of your hopes and dreams, what kind of behavior today will develop character and integrity in you that will facilitate your dreams coming to reality?

Parents have the potential and opportunity to have these kind of vital conversations with their young people.  Wise parents will take full advantage of modern-day examples to help their children develop with wisdom and integrity!

And while you’re talking with them, why not also pray with them about their future!  Let them hear you voice your concerns to God on their behalf! 

Tuesday, February 8, 2022

DIDN'T GET YOUR PARENTS' BLESSING?

Over my many years of counseling, I've dealt with lots of people who were aware that they didn't receive their parents' blessing.  They grew up knowing that the blessing went to a sibling instead.  The pain that accompanies this realization is difficult to accept and live with.  Most will continue - sometimes throughout their entire life - to try to get this blessing!  In most cases, it will never come.  Sad!

Receiving the blessing of a parent is of major consequence!  We all want to know that we are special to our parents.  

I gave a Lyft to a mother and her young daughter several months ago.  The little girl was dressed so cute and she seemed to have a sweet disposition;  but she had done something that morning that angered her mother.  The whole 8-minute ride, she yelled at this precious little one and demeaned her.  I cringed as this little girl was called horrible names.  Then, she was told, "I may not come after you today.  I'm sick of you!"  I prayed for this little treasure all day long!  

Children want to - need to - be loved!  How many times have you seen a child call - over and over and over - "Mommy, watch me!  or "Daddy, watch me!"  They just want to be recognized.  They're begging!  "Mommy, Daddy, please recognize me and tell me that I'm special!"  So many are forced to live invisible lives.  

Genesis 28 gives a vivid picture of this.  Jacob has stolen Esau's (his older brother's) birthright and blessing!  It was wrong to do so and involved deception that included their mother's scheming!  Esau is hurt and angry - these two always go together!  When their father, Isaac calls Jacob in and sends him away to find a wife who is not a Hittite, Esau learns of this.  He has already taken two wives from among the Hittites and is over forty years old!  

But that desire to be accepted and loved runs deep and long!  As a result, Esau takes a third wife - this time from among the family connection of his uncle Ishmael.  His reasoning is clear!  "If I marry a woman from the family - who is not a Hittite - perhaps I will finally get the blessing of my father and mother?"  But these hopeful responses rarely work.  

Fortunately, as the chapters unfold, we eventually see an Esau who seems to have accepted his plight in life.  He seems to have found a way to be satisfied without having received the blessing of his parents.

But most will continue to strive and try to get that blessing.  Ultimately, they will give up using good behavior and turn to bad behavior in an effort to get their parents' attention!  Lives are destroyed in the process!

Parents!  Listen to your children!  Give them your attention!  Praise them!  Help them to know how special they are.  Help them discover their areas of giftedness.  Picture a bright future for them!  Hold them tenderly.  

A word of advice from an old guy:  Bedtime is a great time to do this!  Children are often reflective at this time.  Ask them about their day.  

  • What was the best thing that happened today?
  • Did anything funny happen today?
  • Were you sad at all today?
  • How can Mommy (or Daddy) pray for you as you go to sleep?
I know!  You're tired at this point of the day!  You just want to get them to bed so you can have some time to yourself.  I understand.  That's why - in our family - I often was the one to put our kids to bed.  It was my gift to Debbie!  I had more energy than she did.  I hadn't been with them all day long.  We would tickle and wrestle and talk and then pray!  I had a special prayer that I used with each of them.

One more word of counsel:  don't stop doing this when they grow older!  As long as they'll let you, put them to bed.  We tend to think that teens don't need us as much as they did when they were younger.  WRONG!  They need us more!  Be available!  Let them talk!  Listen to them!  Make gentle inquiries.  Never let an opportunity to pray with them pass!  

Make time for each of your kids!  Single them out for special time toegether!  Make sure they ALL get your blessing!