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Wednesday, January 24, 2018

BOOK RECOMMENDATION: SKY LANTERN

I just finished reading, SKY LANTERN:  The Story of a Father's Love for His Children and the Healing Power of the Smallest Act of Kindness by Matt Mikalatos.

I will share with you the essence of the story without divulging details that would spoil the joy you would get from reading the book yourself.  The book is not presented as a Christian book so that it can reach a broader audience - and rightly so.

Matt was a new author to me;  I admit that I purchased the book at Ollie's because it was greatly reduced from $25 to $5.  Having read the book, I would say it was worth the original price!  The flyleaf states:
"Mike Mikalatos works for a nonprofit dedicated to 
helping people live better, fuller lives.  He has worked
all over the world, and he and his family lived in Asia
for several years.  He currently lives in the Portland, 
Oregon, area with his wife and three daughters."

From the back cover:
"Sky Lantern tells the miraculous events that followed Matt
finding the sky lantern in his yard - of meeting Steph 
(the one who launched the sky lantern) 
and forming a friendship that impacted him and his family..."

I read the book in one day.  It gave me a new funny line:  "The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!"  [p.167]

Matt is an excellent story teller.  He tells other people's stories as well as he tells his own.  One morning, he finds the remains of a sky lantern in his driveway.  It includes a brief message to a father and is signed "Steph".  The incident captivates his thoughts for the next day or so until he finally decides to post an open letter to Steph via his social media.

Overnight, the letter goes viral, even eliciting a response from the Today Show!  Over the course of weeks, Matt hears from hundreds of women claiming to have benefited from  reading his letter!  Some even claim to be the real Steph.

But the real value of the book is the dual emphasis that Matt presents persuasively and persistently.

FIRST, fathers have an opportunity to make a dynamic and formative influence on their children and others who may need what they have to offer.

"...there has to be some sort of fraternity of fathers, doesn't there?  
Some agreement that if one of us is unable to care for our kids, 
then the rest will pitch in?"  [p.22]

He provides wonderful word pictures of what this influence might look like from his own practices with his daughters.

Chapter 17 is priceless parenting counsel;  I wish I could quote several pages.  The following will have to suffice:
"I tell new dads who are worried about their impending newborns 
to think about it like a video game:  the skill set builds on itself.  
When your kid is born, you don't know how to do anything.  
Change a diaper.  Feed the baby.  Give them a bath.  Nothing.  
About the time you start to figure it all out, the kid starts to crawl.  
Then to walk.  It's all new levels, just like a video game.  
You figure out one level and then the next, more challenging level comes along.  

I remember spending a whole day trying to childproof our house.  
I could barely use an electric drill and screwdriver.  
By the time I was done, even adults couldn't access the kitchen chemicals.  
If human children were like deer, we would be in trouble.  
Fawns are able to stand, walk, and run within hours of birth.  
It would be pure chaos for the human parents:  we'd never survive.  
But levels - we can do that."  [p.141]

SECOND, he suggests that small acts of kindness can transform our lives and the lives of others.
"I was surprised this small act of kindness (writing the letter to Steph)
had brought healing to other people and to myself -
how it had changed the world around me.  So, I began an experiment.
A minor, tiny, inconsequential experiment.  
What if I tried to do some small act of kindness like that once a week?
Something small that wouldn't take me more than an hour or so.
Something I could fit into my life without much trouble."  [p.178]

"Finding a new friend increases the room in our hearts for love.
It's a lesson we've all learned at some point.
When my children were born, my heart grew larger.  
Love is like a fire:  it spreads.  
The tiniest spark of love can grow into a massive fire.  [p.197]

The world is full of these miracles.  
There is beauty on every corner, near us at every moment.  [p.198]

Matt's writing is considerably different than that of John Eldredge (Wild at Heart).  Men will not as naturally connect with this book, yet they desperately need its message.  Matt speaks primarily to men (although women would certainly benefit from it as well).  One of his most practical suggestions is for men to write letters to their children.  He actually provides an appendix:  "How to Write a Letter to Your Children" [pp.223-231].  

In a world where masculinity is in flux while also being mocked and ridiculed, Sky Lantern has a message that could help restore us to our God-given role!  This is a book that would lend itself to a group of men who could have some lively discussions catalyzed by its content.  

I give it five stars!  

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

PATH TO ADVENTURE

My dad was born and raised in New Brighton, PA.  He lived for a few years in Beaver Falls (across the Beaver River) before moving permanently back to New Brighton.  He must have had some elements of adventure because in 1955, he took our family on a trip to the west coast;  I was three and don't remember it at all.  Other than that, he enjoyed vacations to the Allegheny National Forest in New York state nearly every summer.  He and my mother made a few trips to Florida after he retired.  He participated in General Conferences of the Free Methodist Church five different times, which took him to Winona Lake and Indianapolis, Indiana.  Other than these ventures, he was pretty content to stay in one place.

I, on the other hand, have lived in Pennsylvania, New York, Kentucky, Indiana, Ohio, Maryland, West Virginia (briefly) and China.  Although I stayed in East Liverpool, Ohio for thirteen years and New Middletown, Ohio for nine years, it doesn't take long for me to get restless.  I seem to have been born without an anchor.  When Debbie and I travel, I see so many wonderful places and wonder what it would be like to live there.  Call me nomadic, I guess.  

Over the years, Debbie and I have created a mental list of places we might like to live for an extended time.  It includes:

  • Dahlonega, Georgia
  • Ocean City, Maryland (fall, winter and spring only)
  • the Shenandoah Valley (Virginia)
  • Asheville, North Carolina
  • the Philippines
  • Portugal
  • New Zealand (OK, I just added that one)

Two years ago, we placed a manufactured home on a lot in a wonderful place in Enon Valley, Pennsylvania.  Troy and I built a great, two-car garage adjacent to the house.  I spent this summer putting in a yard and doing all the landscaping to give it the finished look.  

Before we made this enormous decision, I asked Debbie if making this move was going to kill my dream of traveling and living in various places.  We agreed that although the move gave our lives some sense of permanence, we would still be intentional about breathing life into our dreams.  

But life has a way of happening.  Debbie participates with her siblings in providing care for her aging mother, who still lives on the Whippo farm.  It's less than three miles from where we live.  Once (sometimes twice) a week, Debbie spends a 24-hour period with her mom.  It's interesting because Dolores (Deb's mom) provided care for her parents - along with her siblings - many years ago.  So, in a sense, her kids are following their example.  

You can see where this is heading, right?  Making this loving commitment is the right thing to do, but it limits our dream.  To be really honest, it limits my dream.  Debbie isn't the adventurer that I am.  She's far more content to settle and live a peaceable life.  I'm the restless one.  Now that the work is all done on our new home, I'm ready to move on...  Suffice it to say:  this makes me a hard guy to live with.

Part of our retirement dream had been to be available for short-term (or long-term) missionary assignments through the Free Methodist Church.  We actually have a standing invitation to fill a role in the Middle East, but can't really do so in light of Deb's current commitments.  Maybe someday.

Right now, I'm writing this blog article from Hilton Head Island where we're spending the better part of two weeks.  It's our first retirement escape from the winter cold.  So far, a trip to Savannah, extensive beach walking and finishing my first novel have kept me busy.  Today, boredom started creeping in;  the desire to explore and be active.  

Actually, my opportunity to stretch will be here soon.  I've been dreaming about hiking the Appalachian Trail since I was twenty-one.  I'm planning to hit the trail in Georgia in about seven weeks.  I've been buying gear and weighing everything over past weeks.  I'll be preparing food and planning drop-boxes in the intervening time.  Finally, I'll arrange my travel and shuttles to get me to the trail-head at Amicalola Falls.  

The trail is approximately 2,150 miles and runs from Springer Mountain, Georgia to Mt. Katahdin, Maine.  It also passes through North Carolina, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Vermont and New Hampshire.  I read somewhere that you cross over three hundred mountains during the trek.  

The closest the trail comes to our home is Carlisle, Pennsylvania (near Harrisburg).  If I make it that far, Deb will probably come to visit and resupply me.  If I make it to Connecticut, I'll pass within two hours of Tracie and Jon.  I'll take a break with them for some good food and a much-needed shower.  

In 2017, 3,839 people began the through-hike of the AT (most south-to-north).  1,723 made it as far as Harper's Ferry, West Virginia - the emotional half-way mark.  685 completed the trail.  There are many reasons for dropping off the trail:

  • too hard
  • an injury
  • ran out of time
  • ran out of money
  • boredom
  • emergency at home
I have been backpacking for a week several times in my life.  However, never longer.  What makes me think I can live in a tent on the trail for five-six months?  I have no idea.  It's the pursuit of a dream that materialized when I was a young man.  I'm not that young man anymore!  I'm purchasing gear that should help me to endure.  I've read hundreds of books about hiking the AT and other major trails.  

No one really knows ahead of time how they'll handle the adversity and hardships that are typically encountered on the AT.  Serial rainy days, tics, potential snowstorms (with my start date), poison ivy (a major issue for me), and the number one threat - BOREDOM will challenge me.  At 66, I will not be the oldest to take on the trail.  In 2017, the age range was from 17-74, with the average age being 32.  One in four hikers are women.  


Dale Sanders, 82, stopped to kiss his last trail marker 
before becoming the oldest person to hike 
all 2,190 miles of the Appalachian Trail within a year.

I have decided to try to raise some money for one of my favorite causes: International Child Care Ministries.  This ministry (associated with the Free Methodist Church) enables individuals to sponsor a child for a monthly fee that will insure that the child receives food, school fees, books and supplies.  In addition, they have special projects that include feeding centers and the building of schools for some of the neediest children.  

I'd love to have you invest in their special projects by sponsoring me for the miles I am able to complete.  The AT is 2,189 miles.  If you sponsor me for $.01/mile, the most you would contribute would be $21.89.  If I only complete 100 miles, then you only contribute $1.00.  

For those who doubt that I'll make it, why not volunteer for $.10 or $1/mile?  Place your bets!  

ICCM is helping kids who really don't have many advantages.  You can check them out at http://www.childcareministries.org/  I do have their permission to recruit sponsors.  To become a sponsor, you can notify me of your support in three ways:
No money will pass through or go to me!  Funds will eventually be remitted to ICCM with a note indicating 'Hal's AT Hike';  that way I'll be able to tell you - down the trail - how much we raised!  :-)

International Child Care Ministries is a ministry of the Free Methodist Church of North America, a registered religious nonprofit organization with IRS 501 (c) (3) tax-exempt status in the United States of America. Also registered as such with the State of Indiana. Contributions to ICCM are tax-deductible to the extent that the law allows. 

I'll occasionally check in during my hike using my Facebook page - in case you're interested.  My projected start date is between March 9-12.  I'd like to hear from you!  Let's have some fun and raise some money for the kids!  

Monday, January 1, 2018

ALCOHOL - "No thanks."

I was raised by Hazel Haire.  She was a member of the Women's Christian Temperance Union (WCTU).  She was also one of the last members of the 'Prohibition' political party.  She was as strongly against the use of alcohol as anyone I have ever known.  I never asked her why she took this strong stand.  Had she seen the negative impact of alcohol in the life of someone she knew?  I'll probably never know for sure.  

My father was less vocal about alcohol, but he clearly saw no place for it in his life!  His story I do know.  His father had been known as the town drunk.  He reportedly squandered his money on alcohol, forcing my grandmother to take in other people's laundry to put food on the table for her five daughters and one son.  I've spoken before of how my Dad drove a stake in the ground and said:  "The negative impact of alcohol in this family STOPS HERE!"   [For a humorous story, read "Egg Nog" 12/28/11]

When I was about thirteen, a PK (not Promise Keeper, Preacher's Kid) friend took me up on the ball field at the Tri-State Campground and gave me my first beer.  It had been laying in the sun for hours and tasted horrible!  I took one sip and poured it out on the ground.  As I look back, I'm grateful that it was summer - if it had been winter, it might've changed my course...

I've never had a desire to drink alcohol or use drugs.  The few times I tasted alcohol, it tasted like cough medicine to me.  No thanks!  [One notable exception:  the night I drank three screwdrivers.  What can I say:  I love orange juice!  That night, Debbie declared that if I was a drinker, I'd be a 'happy drunk'.)

As a pastor in the Free Methodist Church, I've agreed to not use alcohol.  That commitment was important to me, and I've honored it.  

But, I've seen the damage of alcohol!  It (along with drugs) captured one of my children and led to a seven-year struggle to regain balance and sobriety.  Alcohol may have been a contributing factor in the death of someone I dearly loved.  I've had scores of parishoners who were caught in its grip;  I've tried to be a resource to them to reorder their lives.  Debbie and I have twice opened our home to individuals who were struggling to break away from substance abuse issues.  

I scratch my head when I see the changes that are taking place in the Christian community as I experience it.  Several decades ago, the position I hold was not unique.  Those who named Christ as Lord almost universally stood against the use of alcohol.  But, as Dillon recorded, "the times they are a-changing'".  

Somewhere along the line, social drinking seems to have become acceptable.  

I acknowledge that this has always been a complicated discussion.  After all, Jesus created some great wine at the wedding of Cana!  Certain nationalities have for centuries included wine as an escort to their mealtime.  Science has declared the benefits of moderate use of certain forms of alcohol.  Red wine is purported to raise the level of HDL's in our blood (for a brief period, I drank four ounces of red wine every evening for this purpose, before going to bed.  I held my nose and gulped it down.  On a visit home, Travis found my bottle hidden in my study and carried it out announcing to everyone:  "Hey, Dad's been hiding hooch!")  Even the Bible reports that a little wine is good for the stomach  (I Timothy 5:23).  

I have no interest in returning to a legalistic day when all alcohol drinkers are declared "going to Hell".  

To the contrary, I recognize that sin has many forms that are far more subtle and damaging than drinking alcohol.  

The teaching I received was simple:  "If one drink can lead to alcoholism - then don't take that one drink!"  It made sense to me.  But that logic seems to have been set aside by many today.  

Those who compromise on this position may unintentionally send a message to their offspring that drinking is ok - or even good.  However, will their children have the wisdom of restraint?  Will they be able to avoid the strong addictive pull?  the ability to temporarily escape from life's stresses?  

I was in a situation recently, where the parents were lightly drinking, while in another room their children (some under the legal age) were taking it to a different level.  It troubled me...

It seems to me that the core teaching from scripture here would be based on two primary points:
  1. As a follower of Christ, my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit!  (I Corinthians 6:19)     
  2. As a follower of Christ, I am to honor Him above all!  (I Corinthians 10:31)  
These principles guide all of us in the ways we choose to live our lives.  I'll admit, my Mom was a bit overboard when it came to alcohol.  She wouldn't even drink from certain kinds of glasses because she thought it might be misconstrued by others.  But you have to appreciate her dedication...

So, how do we present Christ to our world?  What messages do we communicate?  This, I hope you see, is pervasive.  We've moved way beyond the topic of alcohol now.  

But as a committed follower of Christ, doesn't it make sense that I would scrutinize my life to try to bring it into conformity with His life and purpose?  I'd be thrilled if I could, by this article, get a few people to think more seriously about their "followership".  Part of the benefit I get from writing this blog is that it causes ME to think more seriously about MY "followership"!