Take this bread - take this cup

I just returned from leading chapel at 'Grey's Colonial Acres Personal Care Home' outside of Kittanning. This home is run by Ken and Paula Grey, who attend our Free Methodist Church.

There are about twenty residents there - mostly women.  Some are quite capable of holding a conversation and following the line-of-thought in a devotional.  Some are very sleepy.  Others are distracted by their own thoughts.

Three women reside there who (I'm told) were once VERY active in our Kittanning Free Methodist Church: Lawave Trudgen, Opal McManus and Lois Moore.

I'm reminded of a story from years ago when I was a very young pastor at Jeannette, Pennsylvania.  There was a woman in the church named Annie Demaria.  She had served the church through the years in many ways, but primarily as the hostess for any travelling evangelists or other dignitaries who visited the church. She was dearly loved and respected by everyone!

However, during my years there, her physical and mental faculties failed and her family made the tough decision of placing her in a nursing home in Apollo, PA.

I visited her regularly.  However, I often had a hard time finding her for she appointed herself as the unofficial chaplain of the institution.  Daily, she visited others and prayed with them always carrying her Bible as a point of reference.

Lo-and-behold, her condition improved significantly and eventually she was able to return home and to church.  I will never forget her first Sunday morning back!  She stood and reprimanded the congregation for not coming to visit her while she was in the nursing home!  Although she was not mean about it, she was very direct and looked people in the eye as she spoke.  A lot of people were brought face-to-face with their failures that morning!

I lead chapel three times a month - once at each of the Grey's homes.  I have established a rapport with the people and genuinely enjoy my 30-40 minutes with them each month.  They seem to reciprocate with feelings of affection. Unfortunately, I do this ministry alone!  I have invited my congregation to come along to help with the singing, but so far no one has done so.  Sad!  I guess we need another Annie Demaria to show up some Sunday.

Today, for the first time, I served Holy Communion during our chapel.  It had its awkward moments.  Some don't have the motor skills to handle the small cup and the small piece of bread.  Others are not fully aware of what we are doing and why.  Of course, others are very aware and participate with tears and attitudes of gratitude!  The staff (Paula and Caleb) were so helpful and gracious in assisting with this service.

By the way, Jesus was there!  He was loving on His children!  He was so tender and understanding with each one!  You should have seen it!  He didn't mind that grape juice was spilled or that bread crumbs fell to the floor.  He wasn't offended when a couple just didn't understand and refused to participate.  He was so patient and tender with each one!  You know, He's pro-life at both ends of the spectrum!

I was honored to be his minister in this service.  I believe people were encouraged today.  I believe they were given assurance of their salvation!  I believe they genuinely communicated their worship to God.

Paula tells me that they will often pick up my songsheets and sing the songs again for days after our chapel! How cool is that?

Oh, my schedule for this ministry is 1:30 PM:

• 2nd Wednesday - Grey's Colonial Gardens
• 3rd Wednesday - Grey's Colonial Manor
• 4th Wednesday - Grey's Colonial Acres

I'd love to have you come along and help with the singing, share a testimony, read a scripture, or sing (play) a song!  You'd probably be a blessing to the people who reside at these homes;  but to be truthful, you'd probably get the biggest blessing!  :-)

Grumpy Zone

Ordinarily, I'm a fairly happy-go-lucky guy.  A friend at Kiski Camp brought me a board he found in his cabin that a bunch of us had written our names on during youth camp back in the late 60's.  It was nostalgic reading the names of friends - some of whom I hadn't thought of for many years:  Elaine Bischoff, Ann Smith, John Mitchell, Debbie Waugaman, Dwayne Grafton, Patty Dripps, and at least ten more including some I did not know.  Who knows who started this or why we did it?  But, somehow this board became our autograph board.  And there, in John Hancock form, was the name 'Happy Harry Haire' - in script that looked very familiar to me!

Don't get me wrong, I have my down times;  more than I'd care to admit to. My family, especially Debbie, has seen me at these lows.  I typically withdraw when I don't feel happy.  A good walk in the woods will usually restore me to normal.  After some years of marriage, I noticed occasionally that Debbie would say to me:  "Why don't you go out for a hike?"  I began to realize that this was self-protective on her part.  :-)  She knew if she could get me into the woods for a while - I'd come back happier!

There are several catalysts to taking away my joy.

Criticism can steal my joy pretty quickly.  It's probably true for most of us.
Failure robs my good feelings.  Nobody like to fail.
Complaining can put a hole in my joy-bag.  As a pastor, I've heard a fair amount of that...
Injustice deflates my joy-balloon fast!  It also ignites my anger!
When I disappoint others, I get sad.  I guess I'm basically a people-pleaser.

Well, this started out to be a light-hearted blog and it's turned into a confession piece instead.  Before I completely depress myself, let me get to what I started to write about in the first place.

Summer is my least favorite season of the year!  Spring and winter would top my list.  To cut to the chase, I just don't do well when the temperature starts creeping above 80 degrees.  When it hits 90 and the humidity is in the same range, I clearly enter my grumpy zone.  I don't feel like I'm fully responsible for what I say or how I react when I get to that point!  I can be short and distracted - maybe even rude.  I'm miserable!  I can't think straight and you can forget concentrating.  My entire focus is on getting relief or finding the strength to endure the situation!

Family Camp always seems to fall into this time frame!  I told several people this summer that I don't need a calendar to know when to go to camp!  Just wait for that miserable, humid weather to arrive and then head for East Liverpool.  By the way, East Liverpool is in the Ohio River valley - it's like living in a green house!  I know - I lived there for thirteen years!

Well, this week, Kiski Valley Camp is doing a pretty good job of competing with East Liverpool.  Last night while sitting with Debbie in the tabernacle, just as Bishop Kendall was getting up to speak, I leaned over and said:  "I think I'm right on the edge of my grumpy zone."

I don't know if it was intentional or impulsive or her own sense of humor, but within seconds she scooted several inches away from me!

I don't blame her.

A Strange Look!

I'm presently living on the Kiski Valley Free Methodist Campground in Apollo, PA.  By the way, did you know that Apollo, PA is a palindrome?  A classic example of a palindrome is racecar;  a more common one is noon.  :-)   But, I digress...

This morning, I was in the men's restroom brushing my teeth, shaving and to get a shower.  By the way, do you 'get' showers or 'take' showers?  You'll probably need a family member to help you determine this.  I 'take' showers, but most of my family 'get'showers!  To each his or her own!

Where was I?

Oh, yes!  I had brushed my teeth and was shaving.

Let me give you a little history here:  I started shaving when I was about 16. My Dad used a shaving mug and brush along with a double-edged razor.  I continued the tradition of using the shaving mug and brush, but advanced to more efficient razors;  I think mine's a Gillette TracII.  :-)

I tried early on to get Travis and Troy to carry on the male, Haire tradition of a mug and brush!  There's nothing like smearing your face with hot foam every morning prior to scraping off those whiskers!  But, alas, they both chose to abandon tradition and switch to electric shavers.  Oh well!  I tried!

Anyway, I acknowledge that there are not a lot of us who still lather up with a mug and brush!  However, it's one of the happy moments of my day!

This morning, after brushing my teeth, I got the water nice and hot to wet my brush and create that wonderfully hot lather.  I smeared it around on my face and neck!  Ahhhhhh...such joy!

Just then, a young boy walked into the restroom and caught me in my moment of bliss.  The look on his face was mystic.  He was captivated.  He had obviously never observed this ritual before!  His Dad is probably one of those electric shavers!  I could tell that he was intrigued with seeing a man with white foam all over his face.  His stare was a little longer than was comfortable, but I allowed him his moment of wonder.

This scene seems to elicit curiosity.  Every once-in-a-while, Debbie will still stand and watch me shave. She did it a lot when we were first married!  She says:  "I just love to watch you shave!"

[A little caveat:  When she started to shave her legs, she used her Dad's razor. He came bursting out of the bathroom shortly after asking the girls if one of them had used his razor to shave their legs.  She confessed. He said he knew that the hair was too soft to be his whiskers.   He told her to get her own razor!]

Anyway - I don't know his name, and I didn't speak to him.  I regret that now.  He was young and impressionable and was a potential convert!  Maybe I'll see him again before camp ends...

CRISIS AT THE LORD'S TABLE!!!!

Our grandson, Coltin (7), has an extreme allergy to milk and eggs!  If you were at Family Camp, you may have seen him wiping his table and chair with Clorox wipes before eating.  He's not only subject to the food he eats, but also to coming into indirect contact with the food.  He constantly wears a belt with a treatment in case he has a reaction!

Consequently, his Mom prepared all of his meals in advance and sent them with him to camp.  Each day, Deb would take out another delicious, home-prepared meal and microwave it for him.  He still got to eat in the dining hall with the rest of us!  Pretty cool!  We're so thankful that he got through camp without an episode!

In the Wednesday evening service they served Holy Communion.  During the set-up for this special observance, Debbie pulled our two grandchildren close and explained the process to them.  Then, when it was time to be served, we were first in line.  Debbie took Rylie and I took Coltin.

Coltin and I took the small piece of bread and dipped it into the grape juice. Then, I took him to the altar where we could quietly talk and I could explain why we were doing this.  I could tell that he was excited!

After a brief explanation, we were about to eat our pieces of bread when Debbie ran to us and told us not to eat the bread!  Rylie had warned her that Coltin might get sick if he ate it (some bread has milk and/or egg in it)!  I looked over at the front row where Rylie sat;  she was crying out of concern for her brother!

Debbie took the bread from Coltin and told him to go and wash his hands. He was clearly disappointed - as was I.  Yet, the love of his sister prevailed. This is not the first time she's protected him from a crisis!

Tracibeth has done an amazing job of training them both to be on guard! Often, he needs to be protected from Grammy and Poppy because we're just not used to the regimen.  They've had to rush him to the hospital numerous times when we've taken them out to eat.  But with focused care, advance preparation and a vigilant sister - he's OK!  Thanks be to God!

Thanks for the picture, Joan Mitchell!  :-)

TRI STATE FREE METHODIST FAMILY CAMP

Believe it or not, I became even more committed to Family Camp this year than ever before!

It happened when the children went forward during evening worship one night and sang for us.  The results were phenomenal!  I watched them sing with such joy.  My grandson become my focal point. He is typically a slow starter.  One week into camp, he began waving his hand in morning chapel volunteering for parts in the acting out of the Bible story!  He ran to the front to participate, shouting over his shoulder to his sister to catch up!  I was stunned!  But THIS evening he stole the show.  He was exhibiting the motions to the songs with grand gestures!  He was using dance moves that none of us knew he had!  His mother (my daughter) sat enthralled, watching with amazement and wondering: "Is that my son?"

That's when it hit me!

If we did this only for the children - it would be worth it!

But, it's NOT just for the children!  It's for all of us!

God uses camp to lift us up!  He encourages us!  He fills us!  He gives us joy!  He builds meaningful relationships!  He strengthens families!  He settles in among us and truly becomes the God who "...moved into the neighborhood."  

As this year's speaker, I had meaningful conversations with people who:

• clearly stepped up to a new relationship with God
• resolved issues
• confessed sin 
• opened new areas to God's control
• committed to reading His Word
• established new priorities as parents, and 
• accepted the challenge to rid themselves of destructive habits.

And no one benefited more than me!  God used this year's camp to rescue me from a vector that began nearly two years ago in my life.  I had allowed major life-issues to distract me from His purposes for my life! I was floundering significantly!  I have been fruitless throughout this time!  All those who usually benefit from being near me suffered loss.  

But, God in His grace, used this assignment to renew me!  I am forever grateful!  

Family Camp is a fun time of living in community!  God's grace is released in our lives and it soaks us thoroughly!  

To all who worked ahead of time and during camp to make it another great year  -  THANK YOU!  

I've always participated in camp.  There's an old picture in the dining hall that includes my mother;  I'm in that picture too, because I was in her womb!  So, I've been going to camp since before I was born!  

For years, Debbie and I packed up and moved completely to camp - even though we only lived two miles away!  Ha ha ha ha...  We knew the value of camp was magnified by actually living there and participating fully!  

I've held most jobs at the camp:

• camp director
• camp president
• youth leader
• children's director
• worship leader
• evangelist
• missionary
• bathroom cleaner

I haven't yet been business manager, trustee or cook.  :-)  However, I have helped with most major projects over the years.

Yet, this year, God spoke to my heart again.  I have determined to be a stronger financial supporter of the camp.  I'm at a season of life where I can give more than I could in earlier years while raising a family.  

Why do this?

Because I've seen the value!  This must go on!  I want to see Coltin dance again!!!!!  

Oh, kudos to Kurt and Sarah Scott - the ones who taught the kids the song!!!!!

Disappointed Expectations - Follow-up Thoughts

When Debbie and I were preparing to go to teach in China, we went through a process that was guided by necessity and by the agency that we worked with. 

This process included reading several books about Chinese culture.  We also spent two days in training sessions with several people who were presently serving in the same role in China.  We were grateful to have this information and found it most helpful. 

For instance, I love to have a toothpick in my mouth.  I play with it and tweak it with my tongue.  I don't know why I do this - I just do.  We learned that such behavior would be considered rude in China.  After arriving, our teammates assured us that it was acceptable to use a toothpick in China as long as you used your other hand to hide what you were doing. 

We learned many other things.  When living in a culture with four times as many people as we have in America in a geographical space that is about the same size, you can imagine that cultural norms will be different.  In China, if you approach boarding a city bus the way we do in America, you will be left standing on the curb.  Forming a line and being courteous is a luxury you can't afford in such a crowded environment! 

However, if you're a young child or an elderly person, you can always be sure that you will get a seat on a bus.  Because of deeply entrenched cultural mores regarding respecting the elders and cherishing the young, these groups often receive favored treatment. 

We were also encouraged to eat what was set before us - a lesson also taught by Jesus.  I often ate things that I didn't recognize while in China.  Out of courtesy for my hosts, I tried everything.  Many things I liked;  some things I did not like. 

Eating habits are very different with the main distinction being the almost exclusive use of chop sticks.  Debbie and I decided to use chop sticks exclusively during our stay in China!  [We broke this rule only when serving American-style meals - which we rarely did.] 

We were privileged to travel a great deal during our stay in China.  We saw many amazing sights!  We fussed over every place we visited and openly expressed our admiration and delight! 

I openly taught my students that before visiting another country they should read about the cultural norms of that country so as not to be a source of offense while visiting that host country.  I think it's incumbent for all of us to practice this courtesy. 

These things being part of my background may be part of the reason for my disappointed expectations. 

Disappointed Expectations

We recently hosted two of my former students from China for a two-week stay.  They arrived just a few days after we had begun sleeping at our new home.  We worked furiously to get as much in place by the time of their arrival as possible.  Then, we simply halted the moving process.  They arrived on a Saturday morning after a 'red-eye' flight from Seattle.  We understood when they went to their rooms and slept most of that day (we did that same flight once and remember how gruesome it was).

I had expectations of animated conversations and being quizzed about family, politics, our area of the country, and other American cultural concerns.  Those conversations never materialized.  Our guests stayed in their individual rooms most of the time with the doors closed.  I didn't know what to make of it?  I was grossly disappointed. 

Our one-day trip to Niagara Falls was pleasant, but again, our guests spent the whole travel-time doing things on their phones.  I would have thought we would walk along talking and laughing;   instead they walked behind me speaking in Chinese.  This pattern was replicated when we visited Washington, D.C. 

We prepared meals for them on several occasions.  They made it clear that they do not like American food;  some things they didn't even appear to try.  During much of the stay they prepared their own meals;  this was about the only time they emerged from their rooms. 

On one occasion we took them out for breakfast, but when one couldn't get any vegetables, she sat and ate two slices of wheat bread.  Anytime that we ate together they were consumed with their phones. 

The one truly pleasant time we had was last Sunday when we spent the day being lazy in Pittsburgh.  We laid around the fountain at Point Park and then played cards under a tree.  Then we went to Mt. Washington and rode the inclines and walked through Station Square.  Although there was not an abundance of conversation, we did enjoy the time together. 

On our drive to Washington, D.C., I intentionally took the southern route through the beautiful mountains of West Virginia.  Debbie and I were enthralled with the beauty, but we weren't able to distract our young guests from their phone activity.  They seemed entirely unimpressed with the sights in D.C.  Although they had it on their list of places to see, I think you have to be an American citizen to fully appreciate this real estate. 

In the evenings - around dusk - they would go out for walks and be gone well past our bedtime.  Today, I ran across two of my neighbors who complimented me on the fine young people who were visiting us.  Apparently, our guests visited their homes and had engaging conversations with them, spending hours exchanging information.  One neighbor even said:  "I got to know [the girl] pretty well!"  Hmmmm...

What happened here?  Am I dealing with some Chinese, cultural thing?  Or, was it just plain and simple, a generation gap.  [I find this hard to accept since our neighbors are the same age or older than we are.]  Was our situation jinxed because I had previously been their teacher?    Did we offend them in some way?

Their choice of departure seemed somewhat abrupt.  I had planned to drive them back to Michigan to save them money.  However, they decided to stay in D.C. two days longer and then fly back to the school. 

I've wondered if our insistence on paying for everything may have offended them or made them feel dishonored.  Noting the traveling they've done previous to arriving at our home hints that their families are fairly wealthy.  While visiting in D.C., we had arranged rooms in a somewhat second-rate hotel;  standard behavior for us when we travel.  However, when they asked me to drop them off at their hotel, I was somewhat surprised that they were staying two nights at the Hyatt Regency.  Needless to say, we've never stayed there. 

I feel so disappointed;  this was something that I had truly looked forward to.  I had hoped that their stay would be a highlight of their time in America.  I had hoped it would be a time for them to get answers to all of their cultural questions.  Instead, it feels like it was a bust. 

I imagine that the opportunity will arise again since I extended the invitation to visit us to just about everyone I met in China!  Ha ha ha ha...  However, I'll be taking some time to think about it before I throw open the door again.  And to be honest, I feel bad that I feel that way.