I'M A PROSPEROUS MAN!

I had a lesson that I used when I was teaching in Changchun (PRC).  It was on stereotypes.  I asked my students to start naming characteristics of Americans.  They quickly started responding:

• tall
• humorous
• outgoing
• friendly
• good-looking
• rich
• intelligent
• creative

Then, I asked them where these ideas came from.  It was a humorous moment because I watched some of them look at the list and then look at me - as the lights came on!  They had formed an opinion about Americans based on their knowledge of me and Mrs. Osborne, their freshman 'Oral English' teacher!  Now, no matter how hard I tried to convince them that I was NOT rich, they persisted in believing that I was.  Ha ha ha ha...

Today, however, I suddenly realized that I am, indeed, rich!  I placed a post on Facebook last evening and was surprised when I checked in moments ago at how many people had 'Liked' my post.  I opened the list and read down through the names.  It included people from:

• my high school class
• New Brighton FMC (my home church)
• Oakland Church
• Tri-State Family Camp
• Cornerstone Church
• Freedom Church
• the Ohio Conference (FMC)
• China
• Kittanning Free Methodist Church
• the Pittsburgh Conference (FMC)
• the Whippo family
• the Haire family
• our current neighborhood
• New Springfield Church of God
• and some others who are hard to put in a general category!

Mark Twain said, "No man is a failure who has friends."  [also quoted in IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE].  

No one (except, perhaps, my Chinese students) thinks of me as a wealthy man!  However, I have always thought of myself as a suitable representative of the prosperous man that the Bible talks so much about.  I have a near-daily ritual I go through and I frequently include Debbie in it.  It goes like this:

Lord,

Thank You for my wife who loves me, encourages me and supports me in all my wild ventures!

Thank You for my children and my precious grandchildren!  I love them so!

And thank You for Leonard and Hazel Haire and the hairetage of faith they established for me!

And thank you for my siblings and the blessings they have been in my life!

And thank You for the extended family who have blessed and enriched my life beyond words!

Thank You, Lord for the many teachers who have made investments in my life over the years!  

And thank You for the mentors who modeled excellence and leadership for me!  

And thank You, Lord, for my work and the people You have caused me to intersect with over the years!

And thank You for my home and the fact that it's paid for!  Hallelujah!  (There was a time when I never thought this would be possible!)

And thank You for my cars (some will smile here).

And thank You for all the comforts that we enjoy!

And thank You for an adequate income;  

for a government that provides our Social Security;  

and for the Free Methodist Church and its wisdom in providing for my pension!

[You get the drift...]

Can you see why I consider myself a prosperous man?  Debbie and I are often surprised by the support of those around us who seem to love us and care about us.  When we went to China we were blessed to be financially and prayerfully supported by hundreds of friends and family!  When Travis died, we were overwhelmed by the supportive cards, gifts, and messages that we received.  When we faced various challenges along the way (financial, child-rearing, vocational, physical) we've always been surrounded by people who wanted to help, encourage or bless us!  

And to be quite frank:  I don't deserve any of this!  I'm a VERY average guy who was the fourth-born to a nail-maker and a home-maker.  I grew up in small-town, America, and got 28 C's in my high school career (I know this because it kept me from getting into a Master's degree program later in life).  My coolest cars were:  a '63 Chevy (when I was 16) and a brand new 1974 Mustang II  (when I was 22).  I've never made big wages and never taken extravagant vacations.  Our kids remember camping at Pymatuning as the highlight of our summer (and maybe going to the water-slides)!  I've rarely been the best at anything (although Debbie and I did get a trophy on our honeymoon for being the "Best In The Sack' [sack races - if you don't know what they are, ask a person over 50]).  

You get the drift...

And yet  -  I am surrounded by friends from so many places and environments!  This is clearly a vivid picture of GOD'S AMAZING GRACE!  And I am so thankful for the friends who populate my world!  If you're one of them - please know how much I appreciate the way you've impacted my life!

Thank You, Lord!  You're ALWAYS GOOD!!!!!!     

BEST FRIEND

I don't have a clear memory of when our friendship began, but it was probably in first grade.  He lived on Crescent Heights and I lived on Brighton Heights.  Mercer Road separated our communities.  The Honor Roll bus stop picked up the kids from both communities.  That's where most of our days began.  We'd play 'tag' or find something to throw back and forth until the bus came.  We used to sing a lot on the bus - I remember singing the United States Marine Corps Hymn;  after all, we were all baby-boomers in a post-war era!  But, of course, we also sang "100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall", "She'll Be Coming Around the Mountain" and "This Old Man, He Played One".  And on the last day of school we belted out "School's Out" until we got off the bus nearly hoarse from yelling "no more teachers' dirty looks!"  

But life really began when we left the bus stop.  We headed to our respective homes with a perpetual plan to re-meet at the Honor Roll in fifteen minutes.  Together we would head out Mercer Road to meet up with John (Hovancik) and Larry (Householder) to play either basketball or (more likely) football.  Our favorite version was "Razzle-Dazzle-Drops" where the ball went to the other team with an incomplete pass at the place of infraction.  It was usually me and Bob (Creese) against Larry and John (although we did occasionally mix it up).  This would go on until one of us had to go home for supper which would sadly end our day.

Bob and I literally spent hundreds of hours playing basketball in his back yard where he had a tiny court.  We were competitive, but he was always the better player and usually won.  Sometimes on hot summer days we'd play Monopoly where the games would literally last for days.  

Bob was my best friend for as long as I can remember.  We spent so much time together.  On rainy or winter days we would explore his attic behind the walls where we felt like true adventurers.  Or, we'd play ping-pong in my basement.  We invented games to play.  For a while we found a pulley in the rafter of our basement and hooked a rope to it.  We tied something to the end of the rope and then one of us would lie of the floor while the other dropped the weight and tried to make the other flinch!  No one ever lost an eye!  

We slept over at one another's house;  sometimes all four of us!  In the summer we had 'sleep-outs'.  We'd put up an old wall tent we'd found in our basement and roll out our sleeping bags.  Once we were pretty sure my parents were asleep, we'd wander around the neighborhood.  A few times we walked out Mercer Road to 'Stop-N-Sock' to pick up some golf balls.  One time we walked naked and then would dive for cover if a rare car came along!  The thrill of the risk made us giggle and laugh out of sheer fear of being caught.

In the winter we would lob snowballs down on cars from the hillside on the Brighton Heights side.  It may sound like we were bad boys, but I think we were pretty normal.  Neither of us ever did anything to harm anyone or their property.  Call us "mischievous", but not delinquents.   

I spent a lot of time at Bob's house.  His Dad was kind of a scary guy to me;  he was a rough fellow and often seemed angry or unhappy.  His Mom, on the other hand, was a WONDERFUL lady with a beautiful smile and a friendly way.  His little sister, Sue, was always around too.  We didn't have much interaction with her, but from what I can tell, she took on the sweet character of her Mom!  

Although I think all of us went to church, I was probably the most invested.  When my church would have a 'revival', Bob claimed I would get religious for a while.  I never developed a colorful language, but did learn some words that were close enough to buy me acceptance with the other guys.  

Aside from Bob, Larry and John, my other set of friends were from the youth group at church.  I became close to this group simply because of our common appearance at church on Sunday mornings and evenings, Wednesday nights and twice-a-year, week-long revivals where we would have services every night for a week!  Add to that periodic youth group meetings and parties and summer youth camps, and we spent a good bit of time together too.

But Bob was my best friend.  We shared our dreams and our fears and kept one another's confidences through the years.  When high school years arrived, we drifted apart some as Bob gained access to the 'cooler group of kids'.  I never made that grade.  Our friendship stayed intact, but lost some of the closeness.  

Bob and Larry were both 'engineering' students.  Consequently, they took lots of math and science courses.  So, I took those courses too, to be with my friends.  The two of them coached me enough to get me through those classes:  Algebra II, Algebra III, Geometry, Trigonometry, and even Calculus.  I got barely passing grades, but completed every math course offered at New Brighton High School.  Bob and Larry got grades in the 90's;  I got grades in the high 70's.  :-)   I, of course, went on to be a humanities student in college and never took anything except a Cultural Math course at the college level.  

A quirky thing happened at our graduation.  Larry, Bob and I ended up leading our classmates in the processional at Baccalaureate and Commencement.  Larry led the processional because he was our Valedictorian.  I was at the front because I sang at those events, and Bob was there because his last name was Creese!  We simply didn't realize that our friendship was experiencing its last days!  

However, we stayed close enough that Bob served as 'Best Man' at my wedding on August 11, 1973, after I graduated from college.  He was a nervous wreck in the hours leading up to the service.  I eventually took him outside so he could smoke to calm his nerves.  Larry was one of the groomsmen too.  But, unfortunately, our paths led us in different directions from that point on.  

Bob reached out to me twice later in life.  He made a lengthy trip to visit me while we were living in McClellandtown, PA, which would have been around 1979 or 1980.  A few years later, he called and asked if I was able to perform a wedding.  I met with him and his fiance and followed through with that responsibility shortly after.  

A decade later, I reached out to him and made a contact in hopes that we could revive our friendship, but it never got off the ground.  Years turned into decades.  I thought of him a thousand times and always wondered how life had turned out for him.  I regretted letting our friendship cool off!  I've never had a friend as close as Bob since.  

Then a couple of months ago, I saw his obituary posted on the NB Alumni Facebook page.  I can't begin to describe the depth of sorrow I felt as I read about his life.  This guy was a formative force in my life through those adolescent years.  He was born one week before me in 1952.  I felt (and feel) the pain of an early relationship that failed to develop through our mature years.  I'm so sorry for my failure to work at sustaining contact with this great friend.  

Bob died on March 4.  I had a long-term plan in place to begin the Appalachian Trail on March 9th, so I was unable to attend his funeral.  Thoughts of him permeated my weeks of hiking.  

I know now that those early-life friendships rarely extend into our adult years.  When they do, it must be a great source of pleasure.  I will be forever grateful for my friendships with Bob, Larry and John.  We surely must have had fights, but I don't remember them.  I just remember fun, adventurous, even mischievous times together and a bonding that still causes my heart to ache when I think of them!  

"Bob, I was glad to read in your obituary of your spiritual connection to God and your acknowledgement that you intend to 'be with Jesus'!  I'll join you there someday and look forward to reminiscing together about the fun times we had as we were growing up!  You were a great friend and I'm sorry that I never told you that.  I rejoiced reading about your family and will continue to pray for them as they are surely missing you!"

MY BROTHER

I am the youngest in a family of four children.  The first-born was Jeannette and she was born fifteen years ahead of me.  [Debbie taught me to use the term 'first-born' as opposed to 'oldest'.   :-)]  I'll write about Jeannette someday, but it'll have to be a long blog!  Ira was the second-born and he was born twelve years before me.  Then came Beverly, who is seven years older than me.  I was born in 1952.

From July, 2014

Obviously, Ira was twelve when I was born.  Most of us don't remember much before the age of four or five.  Our family moved from Beaver Falls, PA to New Brighton, PA (across the river) when I was about five.  I have few memories of the old house.  Ira was a senior in high school when we moved;  I was in kindergarten.  I started school in Beaver Falls, but finished in New Brighton.  Because Ira was a senior and had a driver's license, he was allowed to finish his high school in Beaver Falls.

I have no recollection of Ira living at home with us.  When he graduated, he moved to the Rochester, New York area and began taking classes at the Rochester Institute of Technology.  I believe he also took classes at Roberts Wesleyan College.  I remember our family driving to Buffalo, New York one day to watch him play in a soccer game;  he was the goalie - I was impressed!

I have two memories of him still being at home.  The first is of us sleeping in the same room at the new house.  One night, he came in and fell asleep on his belly with his arms hanging over the sides of the bed.  I was in the other twin bed and was still awake.  He was wearing a diver's watch with an illuminated dial.  I laid for a long time looking at that watch and at him.  I admired him so much!  He was my big brother!  I could hardly believe it!

The second memory is of him coming into the new house with a friend while we were eating a late supper.  Ira always was a joker and comedian.  He and his friend had been at a carnival and he had won a large clown (about three-feet tall).  I was so impressed!  Before he and his friend left, he gave the clown to our sister, Beverly!  Wow!  There was no jealousy on my part;  I was too busy admiring him for his kindness and generosity!  I knew I wanted to be like him.

Eventually Ira married Joyce and they moved to Philadelphia.  During those years, my folks and I made occasional trips to visit them and they made occasional visits to New Brighton.  Ira became very invested in leadership in his local Free Methodist Church;  as did Joyce.  For a while, he studied at the Philadelphia College of Bible.  

After that, he faded from my life until I graduated from high school.  At that time (1969), he was married and he and Joyce had two young children:  Sandee and Lee.  Good-paying jobs for newly graduated seniors were scarce in the Beaver Valley at the time.  He called and told me that Joyce's father would hire me to work as a helper for his roofing/air conditioning crew and pay me $2.00/hour!  I couldn't find anything close to that around home.  I needed to make money to help pay for my college costs.  

With my parent's blessing, I left home three days after graduation and headed for Roslyn, PA in my 1963 Chevy.  I had just turned seventeen four months earlier.  He and Joyce had prepared a room for me in their attic where I was very comfortable.  Twitch's (Carlos Twitchell - Joyce's dad and my new boss) was just a mile away.  I started immediately working alongside two other future ministers and RWC alumni:  Bill Rushik and Carl Stiglich.  

Twitch also hired me to do his lawn work in the evenings and on Saturdays.  In addition, I was encouraged to work with Jerry Rushik (Bill's dad) in the metal shop in the evenings banging duct-work together.  It was a great situation for me and I learned so much!  I grew strong from carrying bundles of shingles and buckets of hot tar.  One day, I shoveled a full dump truck of gravel into buckets and handed them up to the roof .  That same evening, though exhausted, I began hitch-hiking home for John and Joan Mitchell's wedding.  :-)  [That's a story for another time.]

During this season of life, my admiration for my brother grew.  He had a small machine shop at Twitch's and worked there almost every evening.  He usually had a couple of cars;  often one of them was an older car that he had worked on.  Later in life, he had a Corvette - one of my unfulfilled life dreams!  He knew about cars.  He talked a language that my Dad understood, but I did not.  When he would visit, they would talk 'shop'.  Again, I envied him for a relationship with our Dad that I did not share.  

Ira's expertise as a machinist was extreme.  He later had his own shop in Canton, PA where he employed a number of people.  He designed and made a very complex part for the first space shuttle!  He navigated the transition of his trade into the computer age - a major feat with massive implications!  

Even though I spent a couple of summers (and Christmas seasons) in Philly living with him, we never really developed our relationship.  I did get to know Joyce a lot better and we spent some nice time together.  Sandee and Lee were really young.  It was fun for me to be around them during that stage of life, although I'm sure neither of them remember it.  Joyce made my lunch every day;  she made me boiled ham sandwiches - which was something new for me.  I loved them!  

After I was married, Debbie and I tried to go and visit them at least once a year.  By then, they had moved to north-central Pennsylvania and were living on a farm with Twitch and Ethel (Joyce's Mom).  Ira had his shop and together they all raised Angora goats.  It seemed to be a good time for all of them.  One year, Joyce had the whole Haire family come for a Thanksgiving feast - it was WONDERFUL!!!!

Our kids always loved going to visit Uncle Ira.  Of course, it helped that he had two four-wheelers!  He would put them in first gear and allow the kids to ride them around his house.  They were thrilled!  He had a 'bread-and-butter' job at the time making lawn mower pulleys in his shop.  He would pay Travis a penny to put the screws in the pulleys.  In doing so he helped to cultivate Travis' entrepreneurial spirit!!!!  

One day, when Troy and Tracie were young teens, we visited and they rode the four-wheelers almost non-stop!  When we were leaving, Troy asked me if Uncle Ira would sell the four-wheelers to us.  I told him to ask Uncle Ira.  Ira explained to Troy that he had just spent a lot of money to get them both running again and that he would have to ask for $1,500.  Troy asked me if we could buy them.  We had just moved to Spencerville, Maryland that summer.  The kids were having difficulty making friends and we were all missing our East Liverpool connections.  The church had hired Troy and Tracie to take care of cutting the large lawn around the church;  so they had some income.  I asked if they could each chip in $33/month?  They said, "YES!"  I told them that I would add $34 to make it $100.  That's how the quads became a permanent part of the Haire Family legacy!

A few weeks later, we took a trailer and brought the quads to Spencerville.  Within days, they had made dozens of new friends!  I still have those quads today and they still run!  :-)

Every time we visited Ira, he would stick a twenty-dollar-bill in my hand or pocket.  When I was ordained, he and Joyce bought me an expensive set of International Bible Encyclopedias that I used heavily during the next forty years!  He would fill my trunk with things he thought I could use.

Over the years, Joyce has hosted the Haire family over the Fourth of July several times.  These times were essential in helping us to stay connected after the passing of our parents!

Ira and Joyce have always made a deep investment in their church.  When they moved to Leroy, PA, they became United Methodist since there was no Free Methodist Church nearby.  Later, they transitioned to the Mennonite Church and played a role in growing that congregation and helping to build a new, contemporary building.  Ira's influence and opinion has always been respected;  people respond to his humor and his integrity!  His investment as a trustee has been appreciated by every church that he has been a part of.  I've accompanied him several times while he did small jobs around his church.

Over the years, I made a practice of having annual retreats at a place near where Ira and Joyce live.  I would always carve out a morning to have breakfast with Ira.  It was something I looked forward to.  Sometimes I would have a meal with them at their house, too.  He repeatedly took me to breakfast groups with some of his friends from the community.  I became accustomed to him introducing me as his "kid brother".

In 2005, when Hurricane Katrina did so much damage in New Orleans and the Gulf Coast, Ira volunteered with the Red Cross and ran one of their shelters for an extended period of time.  During this time, he led several teams from his church and area to assist in the recovery efforts.  He also took the initiative to personally link families from his area to families that had been displaced.  These connections provided prayer, resources and assistance at a time when it was severely needed!

Bottom Line:  Although we've not had a close relationship like some brothers, I've always loved, respected and admired my big brother - and I still do!