Thoughts on Church

In June, I began my retirement.  Debbie and I immediately faced the decision of where we were going to worship.  Freedom Church in New Middletown was an obvious choice to explore for several reasons:

• Troy and Missy attend there.
• I led this church from 2003-2012.
• We already know most of the people who attend there.

But we both agreed that there were other churches we would visit and consider for our new Christian home.  One church is near home on our former, frequent route to Kittanning;  as we passed we consistently observed an overflowing parking lot at this country church.  At this point, our decision making process continues...

This process has surfaced some personal responses that I'm going to air. These are my thoughts, not Debbie's.  I mean no offense to any church mentioned or referred to.  I've been considering writing this blog for a couple of months, but have delayed out of fear of being misunderstood.  I hope you'll give me some latitude here.  :-)

Keep in mind that I have led churches for over forty-two years.  My record reveals some effectiveness at helping churches to make needed transformations to engage and sustain vibrant ministry.  What most people don't know is that this required me to set aside my own 'likes' and 'dislikes'. :-)  I led the churches I served to make decisions based on reaching lost people.  This process always creates friction with long-standing members who don't always see the need for change.

Now, however, that I'm no longer leading a church, I find myself longing for the things that are meaningful to me personally in worship and ministry.

Two things leap to the foreground:

First, the worship environment.

I understand the reasons for darkened worship centers (notice that we seem to have left 'sanctuaries' somewhere in the past).  I know that videos and PowerPoint presentations are more powerful in a darkened environment.  I realize that it tends to direct our attention to the stage (it used to be a platform) where the band, actors and presenters are.  I am aware that it provides intimacy and privacy for the worshiper to respond.

I just miss the light!  For years I led a church that was physically built to show off God's magnificent creation.  The builder had done a study of the sun's movement.  He designed and located the sanctuary with a triangular (symbol of the Holy Spirit), stained-glass window whose reflection moved down the front wall of the sanctuary during the weekly worship hour. Gradually, the reflection centered on the brass cross sitting on the Communion Table.  Every week, it left worshipers in awe of God!

Bottom Line:  I find a bright, well-lighted worship center to be far more uplifting than the darkened environments that are so common today.

Second, the music.

Ahh, Hal is getting old!  Yes, that's true, but hear me out.

I love music!  I always have.  I learned to sing in church.  I love to hear parts. Church is one of the few places where we sing together!  Four-part harmony brings me joy.  [One of my frustrations is that so much music in church is pitched too high for me (and most men) to sing comfortably!]

Since June, we've attended a couple of churches that sang only hymns;  I loved it!  I also love:

• anything performed by Phil Keaggy
• the Gaither Vocal Band
• the Beatles
• the Delfonics (ok, I dated myself there)
• Herman's Hermits    :-)
• the Praise and Worship music of the 80's
• Twila Paris and Amy Grant
• Michael W. Smith
• Casting Crowns
• Mercy Me
• Third Day
• Wintley Phipps
• ...I could go on and on...

One of the reasons I love Family Camp is because my brother-in-law, Jeff Diddle, does such an amazing job of weaving music as a vehicle of worship! We sing some of the latest contemporary songs, praise choruses, gospel songs, hymns, and folk music.  It's called "blended worship".  

It's easy for me to grow bored when I attend worship and don't know any of the songs!  I want to sing!  I want to praise the Lord!  

Believe me, as a church leader I've had to defend the church's music constantly through the years. Most of the time the church was presenting music that was outside of my personal preferences!  I understand the need to be relevant and to appeal to our contemporaries who may 'try us out'.  I also know that there's a lot of good music out there that can be used to direct our thoughts and worship toward God!  

Recently, we attended that country church.  Again, the parking lot was brim full.  Inside the brightly lighted sanctuary we were warmly greeted.  We heard three lengthy scripture readings and prayed a powerful prayer of confession.  We sat in the eighth row;  when the offering plate went by I added my check to a plate that was already covered with folded checks!  I got to sing bass to the hymns (and one praise song).  There were nearly 200 present and all age-groups were evenly represented.  I thoroughly enjoyed the experience! One drawback:  I didn't know anyone there (although Debbie did).  

I'm not sure where we'll land permanently.  I love to worship!  Always have! Sunday has been my favorite day of the week for years!  I guess it's likely that we'll land in a church where we can worship meaningfully while surrounded by like-minded people who love and serve Jesus with similar passion...

If You Like Novels

For the better part of my life - I didn't read novels.  However, for my wife, that's all she reads!  When we would leave for a vacation, she used to plead with me to read a novel - just to relax! Occasionally, I gave in;  but then it was right back to reading things that would help me to be a better pastor and leader...

Things began to change when we went to China.  I had a lot of time and my library was at home.  My staff had bought me a Kindle that made it easy to buy Kindle books even from China.  I discovered a few very talented authors who piqued my interest: Charles Martin, Richard Paul Evans, Angela Hunt, John Grisham, Terri Kraus and others.  

I am in awe of writers who can create a story and develop it with skill and intrigue!  I, like others, get drawn into the story and am captivated by its twists and turns!  Now that I'm retired, I am reading more novels than anything else.  I enjoy them!  Many nights, Deb and I sit side-by-side in our living room and never turn the television on.  In case you've forgotten:  A good book does that to you...

In the last two weeks I stumbled on a new series;  I'd like to recommend it.

Dr. Kevin Lehman has been known through decades as the "birth order guy".  He has written more than 50 books, including The Birth Order Book and Born to Win, has made thousands of house calls for Fox & Friends, The View, Today, Bill Bennett's Morning in America, CBS's The Early Show, The 700 Club, CNN, and Good Morning America.  [from the fly-leaf]

Now he has teamed up with Jeff Nesbit, a former senior communications official at the White House and former director of public affairs for two prominent federal science agencies, a strategic communications adviser and the author of 20 novels. He writes At the Edge, a weekly column for U.S. News & World Report.  [from the fly-leaf]

Together, they have produced three novels in a series titled THE WORTHINGTON DESTINY:
   

• 
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• 

Luckily, I picked up the first novel, A PERFECT AMBITION, at Ollie's discount store.  It was a risk.  I really wasn't expecting it to be very good.  However, after a brief stall, I started into it and finished it in three days. Then I ordered the second installation, A POWERFUL SECRET, and couldn't wait for it to arrive.  I ordered the third book, A PRIMARY DECISION, immediately after starting the second - and read it in a day!

The stories are about a wealthy American family (think, the Kennedy's).  Lehman weaves the stories with characteristics of his 'birth order' observations;  however, the novels remain intact and the style is not 'teachy'. The novels are in a 21st century setting and the plots are realistic and fascinating.  

The first book is about the Worthington's oldest child, Will.  [It's essential that you read the books in order.]  The second book is about the middle-child, Sean.  The final book is about the 'baby' of the family, Sarah.  

There are under-tides that involve political corruption, high finance, environmental issues and family secrets. The story-line bounces back-and-forth as multiple threads are followed.  The books are not described as "Christian", however there is evidence of faith manifested in the principle characters.  This is realistic stuff!  

Debbie is now reading the last of the three and is equally enthralled by them!  

Having discovered a treasure - I just thought I'd pass it along!  :-)   Enjoy!

I'm Glad We Didn't Stop After Two!

Tracie Elizabeth Haire Kerstetter was born on this day thirty-six years ago! She weighed six pounds and thirteen ounces.  She hardly had any hair.  For the first couple of years her Mom taped pink ribbons on her head!  She eventually developed beautiful hair!

We had agreed to name her Tracibeth, but when the nurse came around for our final decision, Debbie gave her the name above.  I've continued to call her Tracibeth through the years.

With two older brothers, she used to say "Me, too!" a lot.  That became another nickname for her.  So I occasionally referred to her as 'Me, too!'.  :-)

Early on, she exhibited an aggressive personality.  She loves to laugh!  She makes friends easily. Troy was (and is) very shy, but Tracie made lots of friends FOR HIM!!!!  

Being only eleven months apart, they grew up like twins.  They were true playmates and nearly inseparable.  She had elements of a 'Tom-boy' and could get just as dirty as the boys!

When Troy became part of the boys basketball team, she became a cheerleader!  She had church-friends and school-friends and enjoyed them all!

She has always loved and respected her brothers!  Debbie and I prayed that our kids would love each other;  they always have!

School seemed easy for her.  She has high verbal skills.  She sees all sides of an issue and can argue her thoughts effectively.  Early on, I suggested she become a lawyer;  she never warmed to that idea. I think she would have made a great one.  She has a keen sense of justice and quickly leaps to another person's defense.

We noticed, when she became a teenager, that she had a penchant for rescuing.  She frequently made friends with kids who were shut out by others.

Tracie has never fit molds.  None of our kids bought into the stereotypical 'Preacher's Kid' role!  They refused to be defined by my vocation.  Across the board, if she thought you expected a certain behavior - she would choose another response.  Some might say she has a stubborn streak, but not me.  :-)

When we were operating a licensed home for severely behaviorally challenged children, she was very supportive.  However, when we had kids that were disrespectful, she was intolerant.

She waited till she was 19 to learn to drive.  After graduating, she began her independent life by moving back to Maryland where she had a host of friends.  She moved in with her best friend, Allison (and her sister and Dad). Allison is like a daughter to us and has been a best friend to all three of our kids!  We celebrated her wedding in Maryland in early July!

Eventually, Tracie met a guy that she fell in love with.  I gave him a pretty hard time, but he stuck around.  Today, we're proud to own him as a wonderful son-in-law!

A little over a year before she married, she moved back in with us so her Mom could assist her in planning for the wedding.  I teased her because she never asked for permission;  just showed up and moved in!  We had a wonderful year together and she and I had some really special 'talk-times' that year.  She got involved at FMCC that year;  I've never had a better PowerPoint operator!!!!!  :-)

Through my growing-up years, I always noticed a trait that made itself evident on the Haire side of my family.  My Dad had five sisters and they all exhibited this trait.  It's a hard trait to capture in one word, but it includes: confidence, outspokenness, competence, having strong opinions, independence and perhaps a few others.  My sister, Beverly, has these traits;  as does my niece, Sandee.  Yep!  Tracie, too!

I have watched her for thirty-six years.  She has made me SO PROUD!  She never challenged our authority while growing up.  She never broke the trust! She was the one who ignited the practice of openly saying, "I love you!" in our one-on-one conversations within our family!

She became J. C. Penney's youngest manager while working in Maryland! She quickly rose to a similar place of respect at the same chain in Boardman (while living with us).  She worked for Home Depot a few years ago and constantly resisted their strong attempts to make her a manager.  

She is extremely well organized and leads her home with finesse.  She is a protective mother who aggressively advocates for her kids and actively plays with them.  I know superlatives abound here, but, honestly, I have never seen a better mother!

From what I can see, she and Jon have a wonderful marriage where they value and prioritize each other!  Open expressions of affection in the home are normal.

And, of course, to top it off, she and Jon have given us two precious gifts named: Rylie and Coltin!

Her heart was broken when Travis died.  She has redirected her love for Travis toward his husband, Josh!  Of course, Josh is solidly a part of our family and we love having him around!

In some ways, Tracie is a lot like Travis.  I don't talk to her every day.  We don't text a lot (except for the family texts that are quite frequent - which she usually starts).  But every once-in-a-while, I get a text saying, "What's up, Dad?" or "What are you up to?"  If she knows I'm hurting or going through a tough time, she texts: "How are you, Dad?"  And there have been a few times when she's been VERY DIRECT with me - especially if she knows her Mom is hurting!

Last year, she initiated a Haire-Family trip to Disney World in Orlando!  We made precious memories as we spent a week together (including Jon's sister and parents)!

I hope you've had a chance to meet our wonderful daughter!  I have always and will always love her. I just wish my Mom and Dad were still around to see what a wonderful woman she's become!

A Pivotal Day!

August 11, 1973

My whole family had gathered for the big event.  Several of us slept in the basement of my parent's home on William Penn Way (in New Brighton). Pretty much everyone was excited!  My brother, Ira, was the only one who tried to talk me out of it.

I got to the church plenty early.  My best friend, Bob Creese, was my best man!  He was a nervous wreck!  We stepped outside the church for a while so he could smoke.

The church was filled with family and friends (some later said they'd never seen the church so packed).  It was warm.  Dave Eakin was the presiding minister.

Deb's sisters (all five of them) preceded her down the aisle.  Finally, her Dad escorted her in!  Wow! She looked breathtakingly beautiful!  I couldn't believe she was about to become my wife!

I had written the ceremony with some counsel from my lifelong mentor, Glenn Hughes.  It was not flashy, but it got the job done.

The reception was at a firehall on 37th Street Extension in Beaver Falls.  It was crowded.  During the reception, Pastor Eakin stepped in behind our table.  He reported that a few of my aunts had pointed out that he had never officially pronounced us as "husband and wife";  so he did it there at our table!

My boss, Carlos Twitchell, (also my brother's father-in-law) also came to our table and slipped me a fifty dollar bill!  With it he said, "When you have breakfast tomorrow, order a steak."   I did!  Not the next day (Sunday), but on Monday morning at the Clarion Clipper Restaurant in Clarion, PA.  :-)

When it was time to leave for our honeymoon, our car had been sabotaged.  The windows were smeared with mayonnaise and the engine had Limburger cheese.  I had to drive straight to a car wash before we could leave town!

We spent our honeymoon night at Debbie's Aunt Dorothy's chalet in Marionville, PA.

On our wedding day, my sister-in-law informed me that we would be expected to return on Sunday morning to worship at my home church.  This necessitated a lot of unnecessary driving.  I bowed to the pressure and we did so.  Looking back:  it was a dumb idea!

On Monday we went to Conneaut Lake Park in Conneaut, PA.  While there we ran into a man from the New Brighton Free Methodist Church:  Joe Plassmeyer.  He bought us iced cream cones to celebrate our marriage!

Then we drove to a place called The Summit.  It was a honeymoon resort in the Pocono Mountains. We had a room with a heart shaped hot tub and a king sized bed!  We ate with many other couples in a lovely dining room!  Some were celebrating anniversaries as well as marriages.

One afternoon we participated in 'sack races'.  That evening we were presented a trophy at the evening meal titled:  'Best in the Sack at The Summit".  No kidding (I still have it)!

Actually, we didn't do a lot of celebrating.  Deb pretty quickly got an infection and had to see a doctor for an antibiotic.  :-(

Upon our arrival back at my folk's house, we opened all of our wedding gifts.  On Saturday, we packed up a U-Haul truck and headed for Wilmore, Kentucky, where I would soon be attending Asbury Theological Seminary.

Debbie followed me in our old Buick.  Going through Cincinnati, I told her to stick close to me. Most of the time, I couldn't even see her because she was so close behind the truck!

We pulled into Wilmore around 9:00 PM.  I backed the truck up to our duplex door and we collapsed. Suddenly, couples started appearing from every direction.  In short order, the truck was unloaded. Debbie simply stood at the door and told people where to put things.  A few women sneaked into our bedroom and set up the bed;  even found our sheets and had it all ready for us to climb into!  We didn't even know most of these people, but we do remember that Wayne and Becky Sawyer were part of the group!

Monday morning, Debbie started her new job at the First Security National Bank in Lexington. Shortly after, I began car-pooling with three other seminarians to UPS for the late-night shift!  These guys became a support group for the next couple of years.

Within a week, Debbie pulled a muscle in her back and was laid up.  We had no phone yet.  I remember walking down the street late one night and calling home for advice.  I truly felt the aloneness and responsibility I had for my new wife.  She recovered after seeing a doctor and we got settled in to our new life together in a new place!

Forty-four years later, the adventure continues...