Watch Night Service

New Year's Eve, when I was a kid, was marked not only by the preparation of sauerkraut and pork, but also by the traditional 'Watch Night Service'.

What is a 'Watch Night Service'?

It was a worship service that was intended to end one year and begin a new one.  It was typical of a traditional worship service, with music, singing, worship, preaching and prayer.  Most were characterized by testimonies.  In these testimonies, people would confess shortcomings and commit themselves to more faithful lives in the new year.

Every 'Watch Night Service' I ever attended ended with everybody gathering at midnight around the altar to bring the new year in with prayer.

When I was a teenager, my home church (New Brighton, PA Free Methodist Church) coordinated a 'Watch Night Service' with several other area Free Methodist Churches.  One of these was the Rochester, PA, FMC.  My future wife and her family attended this church - although, at the time, we were merely acquaintances.  I particularly remember that night because her father, Ken Whippo, was delegated to bring the message.  Ken was a layman and a relatively new believer who was growing fast under the biblical tutelage of his pastor, Fred Schreffler.  I don't remember the message - after all, I was a teenager - but I remember being impressed with him and his delivery.

During my younger years, I sort of liked these 'Watch Night Services'.  Most people attended as families, so there were plenty of other kids to be with. These services often began at 9:00 PM, and went on till a little past midnight.  Occasionally, we would have refreshments, although that kind of thing was not as common in the 1960's as it is now.

But, gradually, the popularity of these services began to wane.  As a teenager, I recall being the only young person in a crowd of much older people.  Then, even the crowd began to dwindle.  If I'm honest, I have to admit that I came to dread these services.  The last place I wanted to be at midnight on New Year's Eve was around an altar, holding hands with a bunch of old women!

I think I was 16.  The 'Watch Night Service' had come to travel from church to church since no one church could rally up a significant enough crowd. That particular year, the service was scheduled at the Aliquippa FMC.  As I recall, there were about thirty people present;  I was the only young person.

I had asked permission to leave a few minutes before midnight to go outside to hear the bells ringing, the fireworks and the horns blowing.  My mom quickly refused.  However, my dad took me out to the car and handed me a road flare.  He over-ruled my mom and told me I could leave the service at 11:55 PM.

WOO HOO!

I brought 1969 in waving a road flare at 1301 Davidson Street, all alone - but happy!  And with a renewed appreciation for my Dad (who I think was smiling while he prayed at the altar).  Somehow, I think God was OK with my not being at the altar that year...

Happy Old Year?

What are the lessons learned during 2016?

I mean, really, shouldn't we take at least a few minutes to reflect on a whole year of life  before we embark on another?

365 days is a long time!  A person has a plethora of experiences over a period of twelve months.

To be honest, I'm not even sure I can remember what happened back in January!  About the only part of me that seems to be getting better these days is my 'forgetter'.  This is often embarrassing to me.  For instance, just the other day, I forgot to shut the car off; it ran all night long!  Lucky for me no one came along and drove it away!

But still, faulty though I am, I want to try to distill the things I've learned during this year.

I think my greatest self-revelation is that I have no close friends. Now, of course, there's Deb; she's always been my best friend (and always will be). And, of course, many who read this blog are friends, too. In that sense, Debbie and I literally have friends from all around the world!  I'm humbled and amazed to realize that my blog is read by people from many different countries.

And yet, I have no close friends. Close friendships have stabilized me through the years! They've added color to my life!  They've helped me to fill the spaces. We've worked together and played together.  I've shared my fears, dreams and secrets with them. They've done the same with me.

But today, there's a poverty in this area, and in many ways I suffer as a result. To a large extent, I believe going to China helped create this dearth.  The end result is a unique and lonely sense of isolation. It's sort of like a solitary confinement of the soul.

I cry out to my God as the new year dawns:  "Oh God, help me to find a man (or a few men) with whom I can share life!"

Another significant observation is that I have begun to lose my sense of purpose. (Like you, I can see the connection between this and my first observation.)

I have been strongly driven by my passion for God throughout my life!  But changes have evolved.  Being a pastor has challenged me for four decades.  In spite of the lethargy and carnality I've faced, God has helped me to keep my face forward and my faith strong.

But, I find I'm growing weary.  Not weary of walking with God, but weary of leading the church. I know there's a toll we pay in this role. Pastors tend to isolate themselves. I've been fortunate (partly by intention) to have maintained meaningful relationships within the churches I've served and among fellow pastors.  But, again, this has not been so over the past two years (since our return from China).

I'm still working to diagnose this dilemma.  Some would counsel: "It's time to retire, Hal."   But I'm not so sure that's the answer. I've never been a pursuer of retirement. Oh, don't get me wrong, I have dreams and goals!  I could relish awakening every day with a clean slate. But is a free schedule really the answer to a diminishing sense of purpose?  I don't think so...

I'm aware that my purpose derives from my Creator!  I also believe that as long as He leaves me here, He intends to use me. So, as another year ends, I find myself at His feet - listening and waiting.

This fact alone raises my sense of anticipation!  Even though I'm not the man I used to be.  Even though my memory doesn't respond as quickly as it once did. Even though my energy level has abated.  Even though I make more mistakes than before (some of them publicly).   I'm willing to offer Him what I am and what I have!

How about you?

Could you benefit from a ruthless assessment such as you've just read? Are you courageous enough to explore your soul?  Would an honest evaluation launch you into 2017 with a greater sense of direction.

For the record, I recommend it!  😀

A Mother's Love!

I shared the following story in today's Christmas message, titled:  "Gifts Fit for a King!"

We probably best capture the true essence of gift-giving when we are still quite young.  We want to do something great for our parents.  We want to do something extravagant.  We really want to impress them.  We may even empty our piggy bank as we indulge ourselves in the adventure of buying great gifts for our parents.  This obviously happens after we’ve passed through the home-made gift-giving stage!  

I remember the year that I became fascinated with a horse’s head in an expensive gift shop in Beaver Falls when I was about 10.  I walked to Beaver Falls three times (a five-mile walk - one way) to look it over and evaluate the situation.  If I spent the $10 on it for my mom, then I would have to be a little chincy with everyone else on my list.  But, my love for my mom won out.  I spent the money and bought the horse’s head.  

Now I forgot to mention that my mom had no love for horses.  She had never had a horse and had never been on a horse;  as a matter of fact, she had probably never even been near a horse.  I don’t know what happened to logic that year, but I convinced myself that she just had to have this horse’s head.  

On Christmas morning, when she pulled the tissue out of that expensive looking gift box and gazed on that horse’s head, I knew I’d hit a home run!  She loved it!  She fussed over it and gushed over me for spending my hard-earned allowance money on such a nice gift.  

After Christmas, she called me into the living room one day to discuss a special place for this treasured gift.  My folks had just gotten some new living room furniture, and one end table was rectangular with a lower shelf and a top shelf.  She had placed it on the lower shelf and explained that it looked like it was in a stable.  I was tickled with delight at her creativity!  

In time, the horse’s head was gradually moved further and further back on that lower shelf until it couldn’t be seen by anyone.  I never noticed.  I was a young man before I realized how inappropriate a gift it was for my mother;  yet I love her to this day for the graceful way she handled me and my horse’s head gift!

SANTA CLAUS

I remember the moment vividly!  Our first grade class had walked from Fourth Ward School to the high school auditorium for a special Christmas program. Our class was seated along with our teacher in the balcony.  It was exciting to leave our school and walk along the streets as a class!  It was super exciting to walk into the high school where all the big kids attended school.  The auditorium seats were huge!  The lights were dim to create an atmosphere of anticipation.  Every nerve in my young body was alive!

Before the program began, Santa came out on the stage to give us a "Ho Ho Ho!" greeting.  I was mesmerized!  Who knew that Santa would even be here?

That's when it happened.

A kid behind me apparently saw my enthusiasm.  He leaned forward and delivered a gut punch:  "Do you still believe in Santa Claus?"

Of course I believed in Santa Claus, but I didn't know how to respond to this bigger kid.  Then, he began to ridicule me in front of my classmates.  In short order, he delivered the astute observation that my parents were really Santa.

Innocence lost can't be retrieved.  My bubble had been burst.  I can't be sure, but I think I pretended to believe through that season - for my parent's sake.

Then, Christmas morning came!  'Santa' had delivered well!  My Mom and Dad and sister, Beverly, and I opened our presents with characteristic joy! Empty boxes and wrapping paper piled high in the middle of our living room.

Then, around 11:00 AM, the door bell rang.  Who could possibly be at the door?  It was an unwanted intrusion!  I was delegated to go to the front door and see who was there.  I climbed through the clutter and swung the front door open.

Silence!  I was awestruck!  There stood Santa Claus - beaming at me through the storm door.  My Dad shook me to reality by telling me to open the door. When I did, Santa stepped in and immediately asked me how I liked my gifts. I was stupified!  I told him it was a great Christmas and I loved everything. He told me that he was VERY tired and had to get back to the North Pole, but he just wanted to check on me first!

That did it!  Little did that stupid kid behind me in the auditorium know.  I was a believer!


PS  -  I learned later that this visit had been arranged by my brother-in-law, Lib , my sister, Jeannette's husband.

Army - Navy Game

As I sit watching the Army - Navy game, I can't help but reflect on one of the most exciting days of my life!  Travis got me a ticket to the big game;  I think it was 2010.  He was Flag Secretary to the Admiral serving as Superintendent of the Naval Academy.  He arranged priority VIP parking for me!  I sat on the fifty yard line a few seats from the Superintendent and his guests. I was surrounded by Navy officers and other dignitaries.

Travis wasn't able to be with me much due to his responsibilities, part of which was to host Vice President Biden during the first half and then escort him to mid-field at halftime to sit on the Army side for the balance of the game. Travis said that he was a REALLY nice man.

Travis told me to go to the upper level where my ticket would give me access to all I could eat at the Superintendent's tailgater.  I was overwhelmed with all the goodies that were available. When Travis stopped by to check on me, he asked why I didn't have any of the good food. Turns out, I only took advantage of the Navy tailgater.

He took me back up, where we entered a heated room with a full bar and a smorgasbord of fine foods served on china serviceware!  It was WONDERFUL!!!!  I hob-nobbed with senators, admirals, captains and other distinguished guests. I felt out-of-place, but Travis moved through the crowd with familiarity and grace!  It seemed like everyone knew him and enjoyed him!

That day, he bought me a Navy stocking cap, Navy gloves, a souvenir program and a Navy scarf!  (It was a very cold day!)  It was so nice to have a place to go and get warm - as well as to get free Cokes and delicious food!

It was an incredible day that I will never forget, yet it was only one of numerous similar experiences that I had with Travis. He was such an amazing son and I miss him SO MUCH!  I'm so proud of him as an intelligent, kind, fun and generous person; and I'm unspeakably proud of his phenomenal accomplishments and achievements.

All who knew him loved him, and all who loved him admired him.

Once Upon A Time...

With all the wild spending that takes place during these weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I thought I'd share part of our journey.

My parents were excellent money managers!  My Dad never made big wages working at Townsend Company.  I remember coming home from Kentucky about a year after we were married.  Excitedly, I told my Dad that UPS had settled their strike and I would be making $4.70 and hour as a result (part-time - unloading trucks).  He didn't express much joy regarding my good news, so I later questioned him about it. It was then that he told me that he had never made $4.70 an hour.  I was humbled.

Unfortunately, my parents never sat down and talked about their finances with me.  They modeled a frugal lifestyle and were content with what they had!  However, the instruction of how to manage money was never really discussed.

In our first year of marriage, we received a credit card in the mail!  It was exciting!  We had a $500 limit! So we used it!  That began our sad story. More credit cards arrived in those early years of our marriage. Seminary bills stacked up.  Then children started coming.  When I began my full-time ministry at the Jeannette Free Methodist Church, I received $100 per week. We easily qualified for WIC.

You know the story from there:

• cars
• repairs
• taxes
• clothes
• Christmas
• vacations
• finishing my MDiv at Pittsburgh Theological
• going on for a MA Counseling
• etc., etc. ad infinitum

At one point, I added up the facts.  We were over $60,000 in debt - without a house!  Financial stress was a daily reality!  I was juggling payments to try to keep everyone happy.  It drove a chronic depression in my life!  I faced the inevitable reality:  we would never get out of debt!  Several indicated that we were prime candidates for filing bankruptcy, however, we never considered that a viable option. 

I began to pray about the problem for the first time.  As a result of my prayers, God brought three men to my side.  

Pete Muschweck was the Oakland FMC treasurer.  He had a lot of wisdom regarding finances from his business experience.  He began to counsel me.

Ron Kelly was a parishoner at Oakland who freely shared his biblical wisdom with me.  For the first time in my life, I realized that God had a LOT to say about finances.  Ron helped me to grow in understanding these principles and applying them in my life!

Larry Burkett was a radio teacher (in Heaven now).  I began listening to his show every day!  I bought some of his materials and began to use them to plan our finances.

Later, we attended Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University to reinforce the principles we already knew!  

We used the common 'debt snowball' approach.  Our snowball at first was $20.  As we payed off a debt, the amount of that payment was added to our 'snowball' and applied to the next debt on our "knock-off list". It gradually grew - very slow at first.  By the end of the process it had grown to $700.  Our last debt fell in several months due to this extra-large payment boost!  

Our goal had been to eliminate our debt in seven years.  It actually took us eleven (the extra four years is a story for another time).  

I cannot express the joy that we experienced!  This was something that I had considered impossible!  I had surrendered to the fact that we would never be out of debt!  But, with the help of friends and the wisdom of God's Word - WE MADE IT!  

Debt is our enemy!  As counseled by our teachers, we declared WAR on debt! We planned and sacrificed to achieve our goal!  HALLELUJAH!  

And guess what?

If we did it - anyone can do it!  Ha ha ha ha - isn't that good news?  

Today, we enjoy a freedom that we did not know when we were younger.  We can do things that we couldn't do then.  We practice generosity regularly and have discovered the true joy of giving!  I am no longer driven to depression by our finances,  

If you're reading this and you're where we used to be - TAKE HOPE!  

Pay the small fee and sign-up for Financial Peace University.  It's actually fun!  It's a short term commitment that's always available somewhere - usually at churches.  Contact Crown Financial Ministries (the organization that Larry Burkett founded).  Get their resources and apply them.  Both of these organizations believe that the majority of families can be debt-free in seven years!  GET STARTED!

PS  -  I always lamented the poor example that we were for our children. However, thanks be to God, He seems to have used the situation to wake them up to the hardships that come with debt.  To the best of my knowledge, our kids are practicing good financial management!  Woo Hoo!  And thanks be to God!  

NOT THANKFUL AGAIN - THANKFUL STILL!

Every year, I try to put together a list of the things I’m thankful for.  Last year this task was made more challenging because of Travis’ death.  Our pain over missing him is still so real to us that it continues to affect our lives on a day-to-day basis. 

However, God is ALWAYS worthy of our praise! 

The Christian group, Third Day, says it so well in their song, “Cry Out to Jesus!”:

To everyone who's lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
When you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right

[Chorus]
There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus!

In spite of losing our precious son, we are indeed thankful to God!  He’s the One who has given us the hope of Heaven! 

Although I have said it before, I must say it again:  I am so unworthy of the many blessings that God has heaped on me!  His goodness is truly overwhelming.  I think so often that no one appreciates His grace more than I do!  How kind He is!  How forgiving.  How patient!  How long-suffering!  How generous! 

Really!  What can a person do except bow our unworthy head and say, “Praise the Lord!” 

So, in the midst of so many blessings, let me make a try at the things I’m MOST thankful for:

1.       Debbie

She has been SO FAITHFUL to me!  Her love, like God’s, is a constant that I can depend on.  In the last year, it has been my privilege to hold her and comfort her in her brokenness.  The average person will not see it, but I’m sure it’s a challenge to live with and love me.  

2.       Troy

How do you choose which of your kids to list first?  I’ll go with Troy, since he was born before Tracibeth.  Troy and Missy are such a blessing to me and Debbie!  Having them ‘just down the road a piece’ is such a comfort!  His daily texts and positive attitude are a source of refreshment to me.  Right now, he is taking the lead on building our garage!  He is investing hours and hours (days actually) of hard labor along with nights of thoughts and planning.  I could never properly reimburse him for his gift of love.  He’s an amazing man of strength and character and I admire him!

3.       Tracibeth

In case you’re wondering, that was supposed to be her name!  Since it officially went down as Tracie Elizabeth, I adopted it as my special name for her!  She is a phenomenal mother, wife and daughter!  I can’t brag on her enough!  Her occasional texts and calls are always so delightful!  “Hey Dad!  What’s up?”  Immediate smiles hit my face with every contact from her.  And my joy is magnified when I see Jon’s love for her!  What a great husband and Dad he is!  I’m so thankful for both of them.

4.       Rylie

Rylie is turning nine this week!  What a sweetheart she is!  I can’t get enough of her!  She’s a deeply caring big sister.  She’s outgoing and makes friends quickly and easily!  During our recent trip to Orlando, I watched her carefully.  She connected with every adult at one time or another!  She would walk along holding our hands and conversing freely with us.  It was as though she had a plan to include each of us individually – although, I’m confident that there was no plan.  This is simply and beautifully the way God made her! 

5.       Coltin

Colt is ALL BOY!  He loves to wrestle and run and play hard!  He is becoming very strong!  But he’s not a social butterfly.  He stands at a distance and watches.  He evaluates situations.  He warms slowly.  But now and then, he pops up on my lap and allows me to be close to him!  I love it!  He’s quick-thinking and can be very caring.  It’s going to be fun to watch him grow and develop in every way!

6.       KFMC

I have been given the privilege of serving the people of the Kittanning Free Methodist Church for the last fourteen months.  The people have been so kind and generous to us.  My appointment has its challenges since I’m part-time and live over an hour’s drive away.  Yet, we’re working together and seeing God’s hand of blessing in our midst.  We’re grateful that they are part of our lives during this section of our journey!

7.       My parents (Leonard and Hazel Haire)

Mom’s been gone since ’81;  Dad since ’92.  There was a time that I thought of them every day.  Now, it’s more occasional.  But when I think of them it is always with the deepest sense of gratitude!  I was raised well!  Their modeling impacted me deeply!  Their love for Jesus and the Church imprinted on me!  Today, when I look at my hands – I see my Dad’s hands.  If only my hands could do the things his hands did!  J  And my Mom’s deep devotion for prayer and missions still motivates me! 

8.       Friends

Debbie and I have friends literally around the world as a result of our three years in China!  We feel that we are blessed beyond measure by this fact!  I hesitate to start naming them, but friends have played a huge role in our lives!  Just the other day, a friend (Sam Norling) interrupted his day to rescue my car and tow it to a repair shop!  Mark Noel spent hours making drawing and building lists for our garage.  Now, he’s added dozens of hours of actual labor to the task! 

Many of our friends are actually family  -  our siblings and their kids!  Just last week, Jeff, Zac and Nathanael Diddle gave a whole day of labor to the building of our garage.  Barry Schrecengost had us in on Sunday for a delicious dinner.  We are reminded over and over again of the tremendous value of friends.  When Travis died, our mail box filled for weeks with the most beautiful cards and gifts.  We were and are overwhelmed!

9.       Our new home

It has been a long process getting everything done;  even now we are still under construction with the building of our garage.  But most nights we sit down in our living room in disbelief!  We love our new home and Debbie has decorated it in her typically inviting way.  Everyone who has visited so far has been impressed with the beauty of the home and the magnificence of the view and setting!  We are so grateful that we are living in such comfort – AND NO DEBT!  HALLELUJAH!!!!!

10.    Our cars

Even though one of them is in the shop right now with a cracked head, I am still grateful for our cars.  One is a 2003 and the other is a 2004.  Up till this weekend, they’ve been so reliable.  I’m a simple guy and don’t need the best, but I do appreciate what we have.  One was given to us by a friend from Indiana!  I was connected to the other by a new parishioner from Kittanning last summer and got a great deal!  We feel so fortunate to have two cars.  God is so good to us!  

THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH!

I'm fresh back from a week-long visit to Disney World in Orlando!  It was fun!  The rides were exciting and there were endless things to see and do.  I know we were very privileged to be able to do this!  I'm grateful. I mean, really, Disney!  It's supposedly the most fun thing a family can do together - right?

I remember a time - after we had de-nested - when I was feeling bad about the fact that we'd never been able to take our kids to Disney World.  Between low salaries and poor money management, it just never happened.  We'd talked about it, but just couldn't do it.

On an occasion when all three of our kids were home for a visit, I called them together and apologized that we'd never been able to go on elaborate vacations.  I never anticipated the response I got...

All three kids stumbled over themselves to assure us that our vacations had been awesome!  It triggered an avalanche of memories and stories.  They talked about how much they loved our annual camping vacation at Pymatuning State Park and other trips.  Highlights were:

• cooking over the campfire
• eating roasting ears cooked in the fire
• going to Conneaut Lake Park for a day
• riding the waterslides
• taking the canoe out for rides
• hobo dinners
• sleeping in tents
• taking friends along
• riding bikes
• playing games in the camper on rainy days
• going every year to the Canfield Fair
• camping in Aunt Bev and Uncle Dick's backyard
• visiting Uncle Ira and riding his four-wheelers
• going white-water rafting at Ohiopyle
• the annual trip to Sea World and Geauga Lake in Aurora, Ohio

The only negative thing they said was that the day we were packing to leave on these vacations was the worst day of the year!   Ha ha ha ha...according to their report, I was always frustrated that we weren't able to leave at the time I had appointed.  [Blush!]  Maybe I was a bit intolerant.  But they assured us that once we were on the road, it was fun, fun, fun!

All this in spite of two different vacations when we had three flat tires (including the camper).  We hit a rainy week at Carter's Caves, Kentucky one year.  I was called home from vacations to do funerals four years in a row! And I clearly remember that the money always ran out before the week was over...

They refused to accept my apology.  My guilt-ridden take had been in error. We had done a better job than I had realized.  And besides:  they're all grown up now;  Tracie even has her own kids!  And finally - WE MADE IT TO DISNEY [mental fireworks here with the Disney castle in the background]!!!!!

So, a reminder to those who might still be raising your family:  It's not about the money you spend or even the places you go!  It's about the ways you engage your children and have fun together!  

WARNING: During those days, Debbie and I often came home feeling like we needed a vacation to recover from the vacation!  We worked hard to insure that the week was fun for the kids, and often exhausted ourselves doing so.  

The upside is that once you de-nest, you get to go on nicer vacations and focus on enjoying  each other! Woo Hoo!

Late For Church!

For thirteen years, I was the pastor of the Oakland Free Methodist Church in East Liverpool, Ohio.  At that time, almost all of our churches had Sunday evening worship services.

I tried to make these times as enjoyable as possible.  One of my tactics was to vary the location of our meeting.  Sometimes we would use the sanctuary; other times we would meet in the fellowship hall.  Other suitable rooms were also utilized.  During the summers and early fall, we would occasionally meet at the picnic shelter on the Tri-State Free Methodist Campground.

The services would often be filled with music.  Having David Kelly and Martha Anderson at the instruments made for a delightful worship experience.  Our casual gatherings usually were led by Ron Kelly along with Brad Cowsert and sometimes David Pinkerton.

Some Sunday nights were even turned into game-show types of gatherings. Some were more focused on small group experiences or even competitions. Lots of delightful memories linger from those times together.

One Sunday evening, I had come early to set things up in the fellowship hall. After preparing my plans, I sat down in my reading chair to rest a bit.  I fell into a deep sleep.

Meanwhile, the folks gathered in the fellowship hall in preparation for things to begin.  7:00 PM came and there was no pastor.  Everyone assumed I'd be along shortly since I had a reputation for beginning promptly. However, ten minutes passed and still - no pastor.

Eventually, my administrative assistant, Karen Kelly, decided to check on me to see if I was ok.

As she knocked lightly and opened my door, there I was emerging from a sound sleep in my chair!  I was shocked that I had missed the starting time for our service.

I quickly grabbed my Bible and notes and hurried to the fellowship hall slightly behind Karen.  To her credit, she had not publicly announced my faux pas - although she had told Debbie.

I guess parishoners are not the only ones who sleep through services!!!!

Psychological Tests

In 1972, when I was applying for admission to Asbury Theological Seminary, I was required to take several psychological tests that took hours to complete. I knew I was "normal", so I willingly submitted expecting a quick nod of approval to the application process.  Imagine my surprise when I received a letter of acceptance with a contingency.  I was required to participate in an Interpersonal Relationship (IPR) group for the first semester that would be led by one of the faculty members. SHOCK!!!  FEAR!!!  SELF-DOUBT!!!!

Debbie and I were married in August and immediately moved to Wilmore, Kentucky to establish our first home.  When the semester began, I reported to the office of the designated faculty member along with about six other, equally shocked students.  None of us knew why we were there!  We had all been through the battery of tests and had been assigned to submit to this process that was apparently designed to purge us of our demons?

I resented being there.  I was a healthy young man who had grown up in a Christian home with loving parents;  what was I doing here?  I'm confident that the others felt the same.

The 90 minutes seemed to last forever!  The professor sat with his back to us while working at his desk.  We sat in a circle without speaking.  We examined one another's shoes.  We daydreamed.  We exchanged frustrated looks.  We subdued our anger.  Finally, the time expired and we got up and left.

A week later found us back in the professor's office passing another wordless 90 minutes.  Our frustration was building...

The third week brought no relief.  Another 90 minutes of awkwardness. Outside of his office we never spoke.  We didn't know one another's names. We were not friends.  We were simply co-sufferers of this obligatory process.

Week four arrived and we took our seats.  Eye contact was rare during our 90 minute wait.  Occasionally the Prof would swing around to join our waiting game.  About half-way through our time, however, the game changed.

I happened to look at the guy who was sitting across from me;  he seemed to single me out with his eyes. Suddenly, to everyone's shock, he spoke - directly to me!  He said:  "I don't like the way you look."

I was dumbfounded!  Why me?  What did he mean?  Now everyone in the group was staring at me - waiting for my response.  Time froze!  My personal heat rose.  I was verbally paralyzed!  I felt like I couldn't even think!

It was then that our professor sprung into action.  He impulsively rolled his chair across the room, stopping directly in front of me.  He rolled in close until our knees were almost touching.  He leaned in till we were face-to-face - then he said:  "Harold, how does that make you feel?"

We never had another silent session after that!

Boyhood Friends

We'd make our plans on the school bus while riding home at the end of the day.  Bob and I got off at the Honor Roll bus-stop between Brighton Heights and Crescent Heights.  We would agree to meet there after checking in with our moms and changing clothes - which usually took about fifteen minutes. John and Larry went a half-mile further to the Stuber road bus-stop.  We all convened at Larry's as soon as possible to take full advantage of whatever sunshine we had.

Larry's neighbor (a doctor) had an old, unused tennis court that became our football field.  It was usually Bob and me against John and Larry.  We had a variety of rules that we incorporated into our self-devised game of 'Razzle-Dazzle Drop Football'.

The game consisted primarily of passing;  however, if the pass was incomplete, the other team got the ball wherever it hit the ground.  It was a fast, back-and-forth game that kept things exciting.  We loved playing football and lamented when it was time to end the game and return to our homes. Bob and I would walk down Mercer Road talking all-the-way (occasionally getting distracted by climbing the huge sycamore trees along the way)!

Eventually, we'd switch over to basketball - often playing on the tiny court behind Bob's house on Crescent Heights.  Bob and I frequently continued playing well after dark with the help of a spotlight on the back of his house!

I grew up with these three guys.  There were occasionally others who joined us, but we four had a special friendship that bound us together.  Bob was best man in my wedding, and Larry was one of my groomsmen.

In the summer, we had sleep-outs.  Occasionally, we caroused the neighborhood in the dark, evading automatic lights and swiping a tomato from a neighbor's garden.  I remember one night when we walked out Mercer Road several miles - diving for cover if a car came either way.

Summers also gave us opportunity for bike-hikes.  Usually this meant going far out Stuber Road.  One time we followed an old dirt road and dropped down into Eastvale.  After we discovered this destination, it was just a matter of time before we continued down through Beaver Falls and crossed the 10th Street bridge to return to our homes!

I can remember twice when Bob and I rode our bikes to Darlington Lake.  I don't think our mothers knew we did this!  It was a great place to swim because it had a huge sliding board that dropped into the water!

The leisure season also gave us opportunities to explore the woods behind Brighton Heights.  We hiked up to the 'Indian Caves'.  We built forts and played army. We caught lizards and crabs in the creek.  We hiked down to the Beaver River and then walked the tracks back into town where we'd get a milkshake at Isaly's.

In the winter we would sled-ride on Valley Avenue and lob snowballs from Brighton Heights down on cars traveling up Mercer Road!

Those were fun and free days!

However, our lives changed a bit as we entered junior and senior high school. New friends were developed and our relationships gradually became a bit more distant.  We still occasionally had classes together.  Bob and Larry had engineering prospects;  I took every math class NB offered - just to be with them.  They pulled me through with barely passing grades!  Ha ha ha...   Larry ended up being the valedictorian of our class!  My claim to fame (and reason for being at the head of the procession) was due to singing a solo at our commencement:  "No Man Is An Island".

However, throughout most of those years we continued our friendship by sharing the New Brighton High School 'open-lunch-period' by hitting the Brighton Hot Dog Shop!  Those were the days when three hot dogs, a fry and a shake came to $.95 with $.05 tax;  so, for a buck we had an awesome lunch!  :-)

But life moves on...

I did have the opportunity of marrying Bob and his wife some years later.  I also stopped to visit Larry in his law office one time, but we didn't seem to have anything to talk about.  It's sad that these wonderful friends have not been a part of my adult life, when we shared so many fantastic times together as boys!

I don't know where they are today or what they're doing, but I hope their lives have gone well.  I hope they're happy and fulfilled! I valued their friendship and we shared dreams and fantasies together while having tons of fun!  If I could, I'd thank them for their friendship and the memories we made together!  I'd also pray God's blessings on their lives!

You're Not Going to Kittanning Today, Dad!

It was a year ago today.  Troy and I had been working together.  At 2:30 PM, I stopped and went in to shower and pack so that I could leave for Kittanning in time to arrive for God's Choice Church.  Troy was talking on his phone when I went in and was still talking when I started carrying my bags out.  He met me on the porch and told me that there was something going on.  I tried to push past him saying that I had to get on my way to Kittanning or I'd be late!  He firmly placed his hand on my chest and said:  "You're not going to Kittanning today, Dad!"

I asked, "Why?"  That was my last moment of peace...

His next words jolted my soul and created a disturbance that hasn't settled yet.

"Dad, Trav had a cardiac arrest and is in the hospital in critical condition."

Disbelief.  Shock.  Anguish.  Sorrow.  They mingled together in my mind as I tried to incorporate what my son had just said to me.

To be honest, everything after that is a fog to me.  I know that within hours we were on a plane headed for Honolulu (Debbie, me, Troy and Missy and Tracibeth).  And the next morning we walked into the room where we would keep vigil for the next four days. At first, we were given a small ray of hope, but the longer we stayed, the more we realized that Travis was not coming back to us.

We stood for countless hours at his bedside, stroking his hands and arms and face.  We talked to him, sang to him, prayed with him and even played music for him.  A parade of chaplains visited us and prayed with us. Outstanding among them was Chaplain Lee Axtell, who stopped more frequently and stayed longer than the others.  After Trav's death, we actually attended church with Chaplain Axtell and his wife;  then they took us out to eat.

We were wanderers in a foreign land.

We stayed in a hotel for a few days and then moved to an extremely nice, private home that was made available to us by a private individual who had never met any of us.  Travis' husband, Josh, and a host of his friends and Navy co-workers came to our side;  many of them stayed for hours and came every day.  The hospital personnel were gracious and kind.  Navy wives brought food to us and sat with us.

We toured the house that Trav and Josh had worked so hard on renovating. Oh, how we wished that Travis could be giving us that tour.

We were asked to stay for a week to attend a Memorial service in Travis' honor at the Pearl Harbor Chapel. His Commander and Executive officer came to Travis' bedside to console us.  The chapel was nearly full for that service.  So many Navy Seals came and spoke to us of their tremendous appreciation for Travis;  they unraveled stories that amused and comforted us! Travis' Commander was the primary speaker and highly honored our son with his kind words and stories.  [We have a video of that service, but haven't been able to watch it yet.]

Then, we went home to wait for the final arrangements to be made for the funeral in Annapolis.

All of Deb's siblings attended and my one of my sisters and my brother.  Many of Travis' cousins came.  A few friends and ministry associates came.  Janie and Katie decorated the funeral parlor with pictures of Travis hanging from helium balloons.  Tables were covered with dozens of other pictures;  his smiling face beaming in every one!  Chaplain Axtell came and participated in the funeral.  At the end of the evening, our friend, Pastor Bob Singleton, called everyone together and led in a prayer.

The service took place in the massive, ornate chapel where a small crowd gathered in the first ten pews.  I don't remember much of the service. Afterward, we walked behind the hearse and honor guard across the Academy Yard to the memorial garden where Travis' ashes would be interred. The normally busy Navy world ground to a halt to honor our son!

Along with Josh, we offered a reception for all of our guests and had a short opportunity to visit and receive greetings from so many.  Then, we went home...

The year has been one of massive change for us.  We bought a manufactured home and had it placed on a lot in a retirement community in Enon Valley. Consequently, we moved again - hopefully for the last time.  I continued in my role of part-time pastor.  Debbie retired.

I feel different.  It's impossible for me to explain, but I'd like to try.  Times of real joy are less frequent in our lives.  Debbie has meltdowns, although they are gradually growing further apart.  I am much more forgetful than I've ever been before.  I have a harder time focusing.  My passion for life has diminished.

I've always lived my life looking forward to something:  a date night, a good meal, a family gathering, a vacation, a trip, a holiday, etc., etc..  That's far less true today.  I often find it difficult to find anything to genuinely look forward to.

I find myself wondering how much of what I'm experiencing is grief and how much is a result of aging?  I suspect that grief is the bigger piece of that puzzle.  In spite of being a pastor and counselor, I don't think I've handled my grief very well.  I live a life of constant inner thoughts that hinder my ability to stay focused on what I'm doing.  Although I wept at Travis' bedside, memorial service and funeral, I haven't wept since.

I have so many questions.  Questions about Travis' death.  Questions too private to utter.  So far, no answers.  It seems I'm simply left to ponder.

Debbie and I find our greatest comfort in one another's arms.  We continue to take joy in Troy and Missy and Jon and Tracie and Rylie and Coltin.  We appreciate the comfort we've received from family and a few persistent friends.  We move on.  Sorrow slows our pace.  God is our daily Source of strength.  We know He weeps with us - as do many who are reading this blog...

Walking on the Edge

It was early and dark, with subtle hints that dawn would come.  I was alone. The waves were gentle and barely made a sound;  I knew they were there although I couldn't yet see them.  The ocean had receded well over a hundred yards from where I walked.  Only a few condos had lights on.  A few lights scattered across the water indicated that some were fishing.  It was quiet and still and a refreshing-but-infrequent breeze delighted me.  

I cherish moments like these.

My friends in China are ending their day as we prepare to begin ours.  The sun sets in the east as it rises in the west.  I feel closer to them by being here. I wonder how my students are doing?  Most have graduated now and are moving on with their lives.  They write of the sorrow of college days ending. Some are studying furiously in preparation for post-graduate exams! Others have returned home to sort out the rest of their lives.  Still others have found jobs in distant cities and are stretching their wings.  A small fraction are already engaged in post-graduate studies.

My heart still frequently walks the streets of Changchun!  I visit Yitong He where I walked so many times along the river!  I hurry up the sidewalk along Weixing Liu as I did so many times on my way to classes.  I wander down Vendor Street (my selected name) and smell the foods being prepared by the street vendors.  I stop and peruse the items on their tables.  I listen to the banter over prices for fruits and vegetables.  I remember the feeling of adventure of being so far from home.  I saunter down the long hall to our twelfth floor apartment and reflect on the comfort and simplicity of our China home!  I look out our windows at the massive, red Chinese characters on the tops of the surrounding buildings.  I see hundreds of older people walking and talking their way around South Campus in the early morning!

It's real to me.

How glad I am that we spent those years teaching in China.  How much I appreciate the cultural experiences we had.  I miss the food!  I reflect on the challenges.  I ponder our trips!  I remember my classroom experiences and the relationships with students.  I smile as I reflect on the animated discussions that took place during my morning 'Free-Talk' gatherings.  I remember the passion and creativity of my students!

Going there was a huge and fearful adventure for us - but oh, how glad I am that we took the plunge! My life is so enriched.

We rarely talk of it now.  Very few inquire of our experiences.  We just passed a year of being back in the states.  Our lives have acclimated through many painful experiences to our present state.  We have a new home.  I've been at my new job for a year.  Life is different than its ever been before.

Because my work is over an hour away, building deep relationships is a huge challenge.  Outside of family, we haven't really developed new friendships. Relationships with old friends are awkward and infrequent.  In some ways, I feel like a transient;  three days there and four days here.  My life is new in ways I don't quite know how to handle.

I seem to be balancing between two worlds - both somewhat foreign to me. I'm struggling to find a new comfort zone.  Home doesn't feel quite like home. My heart feels different than its ever felt before.

The early hints of dawn are now broadening into full cloud cover.  No sunrise is visible this morning, but the light filters through.  I find a porch swing at the beach entrance and mull over my thoughts and feelings............
I miss Travis more than I can describe!

A Family Tradition

When I was young, the church was like a second home to me.  My family was there every Sunday morning for Sunday School and worship;  and again for the Sunday evening service.  Tuesday nights were for CYC (Christian Youth Crusaders).  Wednesday nights were prayer meeting. Twice a year we would have a week-long revival - and we were there every night!  Then there were Board meetings and Trustee meetings and WMS meetings and Missions rallies and District Youth Rallies and District Quarterly Conferences and Youth Camp and Family Camp and Annual conference - you get the idea!

On our way to church on Sundays we stopped to pick up Vint and Mae Baker and transport them to and from church.  My Dad was a class leader for the 'Mercer Road' class.  After class meeting (which was after prayer meeting on Wednesday) he would stop briefly at the homes of the people who had not attended the class.  I remember sitting in the car and waiting for him to return.  Mom was the local leader of the WMS (Women's Missionary Society).  She was also the Cradle Roll Director for a while.  She opened our home to bishops, evangelists, missionaries and other guests constantly.  Our family's 'Guest Album' was a "Who's Who in Free Methodism".  When the church had a work day, we all participated!  I still remember Joe Douglas coaching me on painting the church basement with precision.

It was a family legacy of serving that was concentrated through the life of our local church!  My parents chose to teach by example.  I don't recall ever being taught or encouraged to serve;  we just caught it through their persistent and committed example!

I smiled a few weeks ago when Troy told me he couldn't get together with me because he was working at his church!  Just last week, he told me that he's working on repairing the outside cross on the church!  When we visit Tracie and Jon, we notice that he leaves extra early on Sunday morning to lead the parking team!  Often when we call them, they tell us of time spent working on the church property!

We visited them a couple of weeks ago.  I'm an early riser and was up working on a message for Sunday at Kittanning Free Methodist Church. Our granddaughter, Rylie, (8 years old) is also an early riser.  She snuggled up close to me and started reading what I was typing.  That's when this conversation took place:

RYLIE:  [Almost whispered]  "Poppy, I serve at my church!"

POPPY:  "You do?"

RYLIE:  "Yes.  I asked my Mom if I could serve and she talked to my teacher. Now I serve with the 2 and 3 year olds!"

POPPY:  "Wow, Rylie, that's great!  I'm so proud of you!"  [Big hugs were exchanged.]

I later asked Tracie about Rylie's serving.  She confirmed that Rylie indicated a desire to serve like her Mommy and Daddy.  After speaking with her teacher, the leaders approved Rylie to work once-a-month with the 2&3 year olds.  So, once-a-month, after attending her own Sunday School class, Rylie serves (alongside her Mom) during the next period with the younger children.  Tracie reports that the younger children absolutely love her!

As a church leader for over forty years, I've faced repeated attempts to find people to serve in various roles in the church.  It has, at times, been a discouraging task.  Actually, we're facing this very need at the church I'm currently serving.  I'm hoping for an influx of new people who are eager to contribute to the joy of ministry!

By the way, you're never too old or too young to serve!  Rylie helps prove that!  And don't you dare say, "I've done my time!"  Serving is not a punishment!  Serving is the key to joy!  Serving puts a smile on Jesus' face! Serving puts others first!

And parents:  Don't teach your children to serve - SHOW THEM HOW TO SERVE!  Set an example that will stir their hearts and make them want to do the same!

Cool Sunglasses

I started wearing glasses when I was eleven!  It was wonderful to be able to see!  I remember telling my Mom on the way home from Dr. Phillip's office that I could see the individual leaves on the trees!  Everything was so clear and amazing!  I must have improved in my schoolwork as a result!

I got the occasional "four eyes" comments.  It really didn't bother me because, after all, I could SEE!  I put them on when I crawled out of bed and took them off when I crawled back in.  I washed them when I showered and from time-to-time broke them.

My eye doctor was also our across-the-street-neighbor.  That was pretty cool because if a new pair of glasses didn't quite fit right, Doc Phillips would hold them down in his toaster and bend them a bit until they fit properly!  :-)

However, I quickly learned that the biggest drawback from wearing glasses was that you can't wear cool sunglasses!  Bummer!

I tried everything!  Remember those thin, plastic sunglasses that you slip behind your glasses.  Bah!  Then there were the famous 'clip-ons'.  Boo!

At one point, I paid to have an older pair of prescription glasses coated to become a pair of sunglasses.  It worked, but 'Not cool!'

Finally, when I left home and was working for a roofing company in Philadelphia, I sprung for a pair of wire-rimmed, hexagonal, prescription sunglasses!  Now they were cool!  Think John Lennon cool!

I wore them for years until one day when I was driving along in my '63 Chevy, I turned to look out my window - and (you guessed it) they blew off my face and were mangled beyond repair!  So sad!

Then, in the 90's, they started making contacts for people with astigmatism! Woo Hoo!  I went to Pittsburgh to be fitted for my first pair of contacts.  It took a while for me to learn to insert them, but I got it.  Wala!  I was, for the first time since I was eleven, able to go out and buy a cool pair of sunglasses! Sweet!  I loved it!

But after a couple of years, the contacts just weren't working out.  I don't remember too many details, but I quit wearing them altogether. Awwwwww...

The years rolled by before my Walmart eye doctor told me that I had cataracts growing on both eyes. Shock!  Cataracts?  Are you kidding?  That's something that old people deal with!  He comforted me with the words: "They're not big enough to do anything about yet."  Very comforting!

Each annual visit he would give me an update on their size.  Then, we went to China for a year.  A year became two.  My vision deteriorated quickly!  It's probably a good thing I wasn't driving in China!  I was starting to have vision problems even in my classroom work!

So, I contacted Deb's sister, Cathy, and had her set up an appointment with a cataract specialist in Boardman, Ohio for July (when we would be home for six weeks).  She agreed to see me and try to get both surgeries in during our window of opportunity.

Having cataracts removed was, for me, like a miracle!  I immediately had 20/20 vision and have maintained it for the several years since the surgery! Wow!  I have young man's eyes!

AND, I get to wear cool sunglasses for the rest of my life!  Don't you just love happy endings?

Etiquette

Wikipedia's definition of etiquette:  

Etiquette is a code of behavior that delineates expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class, or group.

Like it or not, children learn these behaviors primarily from their parents.  

When Debbie and I were raising our kids, we were concerned that they have a proper sense of respect for etiquette and proper social behavior.

I remember when Travis brought a prom date to our home for pictures along with two other couples.  When they returned to their cars, I was watching from our porch on Bradshaw Avenue.  Travis was the only boy who opened the door for his date.  I was proud!  

We had some help with cultivating culture in our kids.  Our good friends, David and Karen Kelly occasionally helped us with this process.  I remember a day of touring near Ligonier, Pennsylvania with David and Karen one day many years ago.  David taught Travis about sorbet and other delicacies from enjoying a fine meal.  

About once a year, we would have a big night out as a family!  We would go to a much nicer restaurant than usual where our kids would encounter the complexities of multiple forks and spoons.  We'd talk about proper behavior in such a setting.  I would pull the chair out for Debbie and have the boys do so for Tracie.  We'd unfold our cloth napkins and place them on our laps.  

Then, we would leave the restaurant and attend a concert, play or other fine event in one of the downtown Pittsburgh venues.  On one of these occasions, David and Karen treated us to the opera, "The Magic Flute".  It was a delightful evening of teaching our kids appropriate behavior for such a setting.  I remember, during the intermission, David and I caught Travis and Troy gawking at a statue of a naked Cupid who had a water fountain at a conspicuous location! They were pointing and giggling!  David and I giggled at that scene for the rest of the evening!  

I remember taking the kids to see "The Nutcracker" one Christmas season. After a delicious meal at Dingbats, we went to the Benedum Theater for the show.  We were seated just under the edge of the balcony.  Tracie was probably six years old.  Her mom had permed her hair and she had a very beautiful, full dress on.  She was a picture of beauty!  We settled into our soft, cushioned seats as the lights went down and the orchestra began playing.  A few minutes later, I looked down on Tracie - who was sound asleep!  :-)

Parents have an awesome responsibility in raising their children.  There's so much to teach. We must not forget some of these basic lessons.  I must admit to being appalled recently by the eating behaviors of some children and youth.  Things like eating with an open mouth, hovering over one's food, or gulping it down like you're in a race can be offensive.  Who better to check these behaviors than a loving parent?  

For nearly six years, Debbie and I ran a licensed home for behaviorally-challenged children in Summit County, Ohio.  We had hundreds of children in-and-out of our home during those years.  Most stayed for three days;  some stayed as long as a year.  Many of these kids (aged from 5 to 17) came from homes where there was not much structure.  Some had never set down at a table to eat a meal.  Others had no idea how to use a fork.  

Over and again, Debbie and I had to teach basic skills to these children.  

Some wanted to eat super fast in order to get back to playing our Nintendo game.  When they would hop up to run from the table, I would stop them and have them sit down again.  Then I would have Troy or Tracie explain to them about leaving our table.  They would explain:  "You have to ask our Dad if you can leave the table.  You can't leave until he says you can."  You should have seen the looks of astonishment!  

Yet, most of those children learned to enjoy the conversation around our table!  I always managed that conversation by interviewing each kid (including ours).  Many of these children had never had an adult listen to them talking about their day at school!  

Over the course of repeated visits to our home, we saw remarkable progress in many of these kids' lives.  

Maybe we, as parents, need to step up to higher standards for ourselves - for the sake of our kids!  We've been there!  The parenting role is exhausting;  especially for those who are doing it alone!  But, it's worth it when you see your grown-up kids handling responsibility in an appropriate way.

I beamed with pride when Travis served as the United States Naval Academy's Superintendent's Flag Secretary.  In this role he planned exquisite banquets and receptions for the Admiral.  Honored guests often included Congressmen and Senators as well as military dignitaries.  Travis moved among these individuals and did so with grace and style.  He'd been taught well!  

He's Not Kidding, Morg!

The Haire family has camped for at least a week at Pymatuning State Park almost every year for the last thirty-five years!  Never having a large income, it was a cheap-but-fun, family vacation. We'd pack the kid's 'hot-cycles' or bikes, throw in the kitchen sink and take off!

One year we were rolling along toward Pymatuning on Route 11 with the kids hot-cycles tied on the back of the camper. A car pulled alongside me and motioned that we had a problem. I pulled off to find that the ropes had loosened and the back wheels of Troy's hot cycle were rolling along the highway at 60 mph!  😳  Thank you, dear motorist friend!
The week would include:

• Hobo dinners
• S'mores
• Roasting ears
• Swimming
• Water slides
• Camp fires
• Playing games
• Telling stories, and
• Feeding the fish at Linesville!  😝

If we hit an occasional rainy day, we would jump in the car and head for Lake Erie or some other place (like Hermitage) to hang out or shop. 

Many of these vacations were shared with the Mahosky family. Travis, Troy, Tracie, Marshall, Barbie and Jesse grew up a lot like brothers and sisters!  

At least one day would be spent at Conneaut Lake Park riding the small, amusement park rides!  I'll never forget pulling into our site one summer and having little 'Bubsy' run up to my door announcing with exuberant anticipation:  "Uncle Harold, tomorrow we're going to Ponneaut Cake Park'!!!!!

Then there was the year that we went to Linesville to feed the fish. But Troy and Marshall decided to feed the seagulls instead. They deliberately threw the bread in the middle of the road in hopes of seeing one get hit by a car. They had scored '1' before I caught them!  Marshall told me a few years ago that it was the angriest he had ever seen me!  😡

On years when the Mahosky's couldn't go, we allowed the kids to each bring a friend. By this time, I had bought a canoe to add to our fun. Troy often brought his friend, Morgan, who lived up the street from us on Thompson Avenue in East Liverpool. 

The first time Morgan came along, I had fixed my traditional breakfast of bacon, eggs, toast and home fries. As we finished the meal, I informed Troy and Morgan that it was their turn to wash the dishes. Morgan laughed and got up to head for his bike. Troy called after him saying, "He's not kidding, Morg!"  With a rather shocked look on his face, he dropped his bike and walked back to the table to wash dishes for the first time in his life. 😝

We made endless memories:

• Tracie and Barbie waking up in the pup-tent with ice in their hair. 
• Troy and Morgan rolling the canoe and losing a camping stool and Tracie's boom-box!
• The daily fight over who gets to start the fire. 
• Travis eating sausage that was under-cooked;  then we woke up at midnight because the camper was shaking!  Yep!  It all resurfaced in projectile form!  😦
• Playing 'Sorry' in the camper at Ohiopyle with the rain pouring down shortly after we got set up. 
• Having church one Sunday where Troy read about the seeds that were planted along the path, while Tracie chose and led the singing!  

Debbie and I are camping today at the Jamestown camping area. As we sit looking over the lake, our minds are ruminating these memories. Good memories. Precious memories!  Some pain, of course;  but mostly smiles - and deep gratitude!  

Me Too!

It was one of my nick-names for Tracie when she was little!  Growing up with two older brothers, she often found herself in situations that could best be quickly satisfied by simply saying those two words!

Travis:  "Dad, can I ride along with you?"
Tracie:  "Me too!"

Troy:  "Dad, could you jump on the trampoline with me?"
Tracie:  "Me too!"

Travis:  "Dad, can I watch the Cosby's tonight?"
Tracie:  "Me too!"

Troy:  "Dad, will you play catch with me?"
Tracie:  "Me too!"

She said it so often!  I loved her for it.  It showed her admiration for her brothers and her passion for life!

The spirit of "Me too!" is generally a good thing.  You see someone doing something - or even just hear that they're going to do something, and it ignites desire within you.  The seed has been planted.  You want to do this thing, too!

We even see it in the scriptures.  In John 21, Peter - in a state of confusion after Jesus' death and resurrection - says:  "I'm going fishing."  Six of his friends say:  "Me too!"  And what a day they had!

I guess the spirit of "Me too!" involves an impression-maker and an impression-taker.  One person creates the idea and another jumps on the bandwagon.

I think I'm both.  Sometimes, I come up with ideas that others commend and even participate in.  Isn't that what the 'Like' button is all about on Facebook?  Just another way of saying, "Me too!"  :-)

• "I like this picture, video, quote, story..."
• "I do too!"

Other times, I see what someone is doing and decide that I want to jump in on the act!  "Me too!"  Why else do so many young men wear their baseball caps sideways?  They saw someone else do it and thought it was cool!  So be it.  

Some years ago, when I first started Facebooking, I joined up because I didn't want to be a dinosaur.  In doing so, I decided however, that I would try to be a positive force on this media.  So far, I think I've succeeded.  No rants yet. Tempted, but successful in fighting off the need.  

I decided to be a one-man force to create positivism.  'Like' lots of people's stuff. Make lots of friends.  Post jokes and funny stories.  Publicize devotional materials.  Spread happiness and Christian love.  

And maybe - just maybe - we can start a "Me too!" revolution!  

Hey, I see what Brenda and Hal and Charlie and Kathy and Tracey and so many others are doing;  and I'm going to do it too!  I'm going to add value to the positive side of life;  we all come by enough negativity just by traveling through this world!  I'm going to lighten loads not add to burdens.

I recently read a post that commented about people who have "no good" in them.  I couldn't 'Like' that post. I know there are really negative, bitter, broken, angry, depraved people in this world.  But I just can't bring myself to agree that there is "no good" in them.  Maybe I can't see it or draw it out, but the image of God is there!  I need to honor that!  I can give them time, or space, or attention, or affirmation, or lots of other things.  Goodness, truth be known, some days I feel pretty lousy, myself!  

So, I'm still trying to plug along saying nice things and posting humorous things and telling jokes and writing inane blog articles - just trying to make the journey a little more enjoyable.  

My most valuable mentor taught me to hold the crown high above people's heads and wait for them to grow into it.  She did that better than anyone I know.  When I watched her do it, in my spirit I said, "Me too!"  

Take this bread - take this cup

I just returned from leading chapel at 'Grey's Colonial Acres Personal Care Home' outside of Kittanning. This home is run by Ken and Paula Grey, who attend our Free Methodist Church.

There are about twenty residents there - mostly women.  Some are quite capable of holding a conversation and following the line-of-thought in a devotional.  Some are very sleepy.  Others are distracted by their own thoughts.

Three women reside there who (I'm told) were once VERY active in our Kittanning Free Methodist Church: Lawave Trudgen, Opal McManus and Lois Moore.

I'm reminded of a story from years ago when I was a very young pastor at Jeannette, Pennsylvania.  There was a woman in the church named Annie Demaria.  She had served the church through the years in many ways, but primarily as the hostess for any travelling evangelists or other dignitaries who visited the church. She was dearly loved and respected by everyone!

However, during my years there, her physical and mental faculties failed and her family made the tough decision of placing her in a nursing home in Apollo, PA.

I visited her regularly.  However, I often had a hard time finding her for she appointed herself as the unofficial chaplain of the institution.  Daily, she visited others and prayed with them always carrying her Bible as a point of reference.

Lo-and-behold, her condition improved significantly and eventually she was able to return home and to church.  I will never forget her first Sunday morning back!  She stood and reprimanded the congregation for not coming to visit her while she was in the nursing home!  Although she was not mean about it, she was very direct and looked people in the eye as she spoke.  A lot of people were brought face-to-face with their failures that morning!

I lead chapel three times a month - once at each of the Grey's homes.  I have established a rapport with the people and genuinely enjoy my 30-40 minutes with them each month.  They seem to reciprocate with feelings of affection. Unfortunately, I do this ministry alone!  I have invited my congregation to come along to help with the singing, but so far no one has done so.  Sad!  I guess we need another Annie Demaria to show up some Sunday.

Today, for the first time, I served Holy Communion during our chapel.  It had its awkward moments.  Some don't have the motor skills to handle the small cup and the small piece of bread.  Others are not fully aware of what we are doing and why.  Of course, others are very aware and participate with tears and attitudes of gratitude!  The staff (Paula and Caleb) were so helpful and gracious in assisting with this service.

By the way, Jesus was there!  He was loving on His children!  He was so tender and understanding with each one!  You should have seen it!  He didn't mind that grape juice was spilled or that bread crumbs fell to the floor.  He wasn't offended when a couple just didn't understand and refused to participate.  He was so patient and tender with each one!  You know, He's pro-life at both ends of the spectrum!

I was honored to be his minister in this service.  I believe people were encouraged today.  I believe they were given assurance of their salvation!  I believe they genuinely communicated their worship to God.

Paula tells me that they will often pick up my songsheets and sing the songs again for days after our chapel! How cool is that?

Oh, my schedule for this ministry is 1:30 PM:

• 2nd Wednesday - Grey's Colonial Gardens
• 3rd Wednesday - Grey's Colonial Manor
• 4th Wednesday - Grey's Colonial Acres

I'd love to have you come along and help with the singing, share a testimony, read a scripture, or sing (play) a song!  You'd probably be a blessing to the people who reside at these homes;  but to be truthful, you'd probably get the biggest blessing!  :-)

Grumpy Zone

Ordinarily, I'm a fairly happy-go-lucky guy.  A friend at Kiski Camp brought me a board he found in his cabin that a bunch of us had written our names on during youth camp back in the late 60's.  It was nostalgic reading the names of friends - some of whom I hadn't thought of for many years:  Elaine Bischoff, Ann Smith, John Mitchell, Debbie Waugaman, Dwayne Grafton, Patty Dripps, and at least ten more including some I did not know.  Who knows who started this or why we did it?  But, somehow this board became our autograph board.  And there, in John Hancock form, was the name 'Happy Harry Haire' - in script that looked very familiar to me!

Don't get me wrong, I have my down times;  more than I'd care to admit to. My family, especially Debbie, has seen me at these lows.  I typically withdraw when I don't feel happy.  A good walk in the woods will usually restore me to normal.  After some years of marriage, I noticed occasionally that Debbie would say to me:  "Why don't you go out for a hike?"  I began to realize that this was self-protective on her part.  :-)  She knew if she could get me into the woods for a while - I'd come back happier!

There are several catalysts to taking away my joy.

Criticism can steal my joy pretty quickly.  It's probably true for most of us.
Failure robs my good feelings.  Nobody like to fail.
Complaining can put a hole in my joy-bag.  As a pastor, I've heard a fair amount of that...
Injustice deflates my joy-balloon fast!  It also ignites my anger!
When I disappoint others, I get sad.  I guess I'm basically a people-pleaser.

Well, this started out to be a light-hearted blog and it's turned into a confession piece instead.  Before I completely depress myself, let me get to what I started to write about in the first place.

Summer is my least favorite season of the year!  Spring and winter would top my list.  To cut to the chase, I just don't do well when the temperature starts creeping above 80 degrees.  When it hits 90 and the humidity is in the same range, I clearly enter my grumpy zone.  I don't feel like I'm fully responsible for what I say or how I react when I get to that point!  I can be short and distracted - maybe even rude.  I'm miserable!  I can't think straight and you can forget concentrating.  My entire focus is on getting relief or finding the strength to endure the situation!

Family Camp always seems to fall into this time frame!  I told several people this summer that I don't need a calendar to know when to go to camp!  Just wait for that miserable, humid weather to arrive and then head for East Liverpool.  By the way, East Liverpool is in the Ohio River valley - it's like living in a green house!  I know - I lived there for thirteen years!

Well, this week, Kiski Valley Camp is doing a pretty good job of competing with East Liverpool.  Last night while sitting with Debbie in the tabernacle, just as Bishop Kendall was getting up to speak, I leaned over and said:  "I think I'm right on the edge of my grumpy zone."

I don't know if it was intentional or impulsive or her own sense of humor, but within seconds she scooted several inches away from me!

I don't blame her.

A Strange Look!

I'm presently living on the Kiski Valley Free Methodist Campground in Apollo, PA.  By the way, did you know that Apollo, PA is a palindrome?  A classic example of a palindrome is racecar;  a more common one is noon.  :-)   But, I digress...

This morning, I was in the men's restroom brushing my teeth, shaving and to get a shower.  By the way, do you 'get' showers or 'take' showers?  You'll probably need a family member to help you determine this.  I 'take' showers, but most of my family 'get'showers!  To each his or her own!

Where was I?

Oh, yes!  I had brushed my teeth and was shaving.

Let me give you a little history here:  I started shaving when I was about 16. My Dad used a shaving mug and brush along with a double-edged razor.  I continued the tradition of using the shaving mug and brush, but advanced to more efficient razors;  I think mine's a Gillette TracII.  :-)

I tried early on to get Travis and Troy to carry on the male, Haire tradition of a mug and brush!  There's nothing like smearing your face with hot foam every morning prior to scraping off those whiskers!  But, alas, they both chose to abandon tradition and switch to electric shavers.  Oh well!  I tried!

Anyway, I acknowledge that there are not a lot of us who still lather up with a mug and brush!  However, it's one of the happy moments of my day!

This morning, after brushing my teeth, I got the water nice and hot to wet my brush and create that wonderfully hot lather.  I smeared it around on my face and neck!  Ahhhhhh...such joy!

Just then, a young boy walked into the restroom and caught me in my moment of bliss.  The look on his face was mystic.  He was captivated.  He had obviously never observed this ritual before!  His Dad is probably one of those electric shavers!  I could tell that he was intrigued with seeing a man with white foam all over his face.  His stare was a little longer than was comfortable, but I allowed him his moment of wonder.

This scene seems to elicit curiosity.  Every once-in-a-while, Debbie will still stand and watch me shave. She did it a lot when we were first married!  She says:  "I just love to watch you shave!"

[A little caveat:  When she started to shave her legs, she used her Dad's razor. He came bursting out of the bathroom shortly after asking the girls if one of them had used his razor to shave their legs.  She confessed. He said he knew that the hair was too soft to be his whiskers.   He told her to get her own razor!]

Anyway - I don't know his name, and I didn't speak to him.  I regret that now.  He was young and impressionable and was a potential convert!  Maybe I'll see him again before camp ends...