AT - FINAL: Have You Ever Lost Your “Want To...”?

”Come on, let’s ride the roller coaster one more time!”
“No, I don’t want to.”

“Let’s just go through a few more stores.”
“No, I really don’t want to.”

“This is so much fun, let’s play another round.”
“No, I don’t want to.”

When you lose your “want to”, it takes a while to get it back. And here’s the picky-point:  Somebody else’s “want to” doesn’t directly impact your “want to”.

For instance, Debbie really wanted me to hike the entire Appalachian Trail. Troy and Tracie really wanted the same. Actually LOTS OF OTHERS wanted this as well. But, guess what?  Somewhere along the way, I lost my “want to”.

I started waking up tired and sore and not looking forward to the day.  I surprisingly battled loneliness.  I sensed that I was losing the joy of my journey.  The views were still amazing and the sense of adventure was still there, but the body was growing very weary and the inclines seemed to suck my strength and energy. My feet are battered and sore.

I found myself thinking of my Dad. He’s been gone for 26 years now. He died three months short of turning 80. I wondered about that being the probable expectation of my life?  If so, that leaves me with less than 14 years. (These were not morose reflections for me;  rather, realistic.)

That being the case, do I really want to be away from Debbie for six months?  I’ve missed her terribly!  She’s my best friend and has been for a LONG TIME!  We had our first date 50 years ago (May 3rd)!  I thoroughly enjoy hanging with her on a daily basis;  especially now that we’re both retired!

Last year, Troy and Missy bought a new house ten minutes from our home. They are making MAJOR renovations on it. Do I really want to miss all the time working together with my son?  I don’t think so. He and I had such a good time building my garage;  now we can deepen our relationship by working together at his new place!

Then there is Tracie and Jon and Rylie and Coltin!  Do I want to miss this entire season of their sports events when we’re finally free to travel more?  Do I want to miss out on 10-11 consecutive days with my grandkids at July’s Family Camp?  Not on your life!

So, I left the trail yesterday and initiated the process of heading home. I’m writing this on a bus headed for Pittsburgh via Charleston and Morgantown. Next weekend, we’ll head for Connecticut for Mother’s Day!  👏😀

No regrets. I was out there for nearly six weeks and enjoyed it immensely. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Back on March 10th (my 2nd day) I met a young day-hiker and we stopped to talk. I was horribly discouraged because of the extreme difficulty of the Amicalola Falls “Approach Trail”.  I confessed to him that I didn’t think I was going to make it.  He said to me:  “Well, stick it out for a full week and if you still feel the same way - go home. You can always say you spent a week on the Appalachian Trail!”

So, I’ve spent over five weeks backpacking on the Appalachian Trail!  I passed every white blaze for 251 miles. Will I go back?  Possibly, for some short excursions but not for a prolonged trek.

So, to anyone who may be disappointed with my performance (or lack thereof) - I’m sorry!  To all who hiked along vicariously, I’m sorry that our journey is ending so prematurely. To all who remembered me in prayer, I’m EXTREMELY GRATEFUL!  I can joyfully report that my communion with God has been rich!  I look forward to following up on leadings I have received from Him!

Finally, my apologies to the leaders of International Child Care Ministries!  I had “hopes” of generating far more financial support for the children. I will simply pray that our gracious God will supply their every need according to His riches in glory!

Pledgers can calculate your gift based on 251 miles completed. I’ll soon post ways to give on Facebook. Please let them know that it is in response to ‘Hal’s AT Hike’. Thanks in advance for giving to the kids!  Please send prayers along with your gift!