BEST FRIEND

I don't have a clear memory of when our friendship began, but it was probably in first grade.  He lived on Crescent Heights and I lived on Brighton Heights.  Mercer Road separated our communities.  The Honor Roll bus stop picked up the kids from both communities.  That's where most of our days began.  We'd play 'tag' or find something to throw back and forth until the bus came.  We used to sing a lot on the bus - I remember singing the United States Marine Corps Hymn;  after all, we were all baby-boomers in a post-war era!  But, of course, we also sang "100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall", "She'll Be Coming Around the Mountain" and "This Old Man, He Played One".  And on the last day of school we belted out "School's Out" until we got off the bus nearly hoarse from yelling "no more teachers' dirty looks!"  

But life really began when we left the bus stop.  We headed to our respective homes with a perpetual plan to re-meet at the Honor Roll in fifteen minutes.  Together we would head out Mercer Road to meet up with John (Hovancik) and Larry (Householder) to play either basketball or (more likely) football.  Our favorite version was "Razzle-Dazzle-Drops" where the ball went to the other team with an incomplete pass at the place of infraction.  It was usually me and Bob (Creese) against Larry and John (although we did occasionally mix it up).  This would go on until one of us had to go home for supper which would sadly end our day.

Bob and I literally spent hundreds of hours playing basketball in his back yard where he had a tiny court.  We were competitive, but he was always the better player and usually won.  Sometimes on hot summer days we'd play Monopoly where the games would literally last for days.  

Bob was my best friend for as long as I can remember.  We spent so much time together.  On rainy or winter days we would explore his attic behind the walls where we felt like true adventurers.  Or, we'd play ping-pong in my basement.  We invented games to play.  For a while we found a pulley in the rafter of our basement and hooked a rope to it.  We tied something to the end of the rope and then one of us would lie of the floor while the other dropped the weight and tried to make the other flinch!  No one ever lost an eye!  

We slept over at one another's house;  sometimes all four of us!  In the summer we had 'sleep-outs'.  We'd put up an old wall tent we'd found in our basement and roll out our sleeping bags.  Once we were pretty sure my parents were asleep, we'd wander around the neighborhood.  A few times we walked out Mercer Road to 'Stop-N-Sock' to pick up some golf balls.  One time we walked naked and then would dive for cover if a rare car came along!  The thrill of the risk made us giggle and laugh out of sheer fear of being caught.

In the winter we would lob snowballs down on cars from the hillside on the Brighton Heights side.  It may sound like we were bad boys, but I think we were pretty normal.  Neither of us ever did anything to harm anyone or their property.  Call us "mischievous", but not delinquents.   

I spent a lot of time at Bob's house.  His Dad was kind of a scary guy to me;  he was a rough fellow and often seemed angry or unhappy.  His Mom, on the other hand, was a WONDERFUL lady with a beautiful smile and a friendly way.  His little sister, Sue, was always around too.  We didn't have much interaction with her, but from what I can tell, she took on the sweet character of her Mom!  

Although I think all of us went to church, I was probably the most invested.  When my church would have a 'revival', Bob claimed I would get religious for a while.  I never developed a colorful language, but did learn some words that were close enough to buy me acceptance with the other guys.  

Aside from Bob, Larry and John, my other set of friends were from the youth group at church.  I became close to this group simply because of our common appearance at church on Sunday mornings and evenings, Wednesday nights and twice-a-year, week-long revivals where we would have services every night for a week!  Add to that periodic youth group meetings and parties and summer youth camps, and we spent a good bit of time together too.

But Bob was my best friend.  We shared our dreams and our fears and kept one another's confidences through the years.  When high school years arrived, we drifted apart some as Bob gained access to the 'cooler group of kids'.  I never made that grade.  Our friendship stayed intact, but lost some of the closeness.  

Bob and Larry were both 'engineering' students.  Consequently, they took lots of math and science courses.  So, I took those courses too, to be with my friends.  The two of them coached me enough to get me through those classes:  Algebra II, Algebra III, Geometry, Trigonometry, and even Calculus.  I got barely passing grades, but completed every math course offered at New Brighton High School.  Bob and Larry got grades in the 90's;  I got grades in the high 70's.  :-)   I, of course, went on to be a humanities student in college and never took anything except a Cultural Math course at the college level.  

A quirky thing happened at our graduation.  Larry, Bob and I ended up leading our classmates in the processional at Baccalaureate and Commencement.  Larry led the processional because he was our Valedictorian.  I was at the front because I sang at those events, and Bob was there because his last name was Creese!  We simply didn't realize that our friendship was experiencing its last days!  

However, we stayed close enough that Bob served as 'Best Man' at my wedding on August 11, 1973, after I graduated from college.  He was a nervous wreck in the hours leading up to the service.  I eventually took him outside so he could smoke to calm his nerves.  Larry was one of the groomsmen too.  But, unfortunately, our paths led us in different directions from that point on.  

Bob reached out to me twice later in life.  He made a lengthy trip to visit me while we were living in McClellandtown, PA, which would have been around 1979 or 1980.  A few years later, he called and asked if I was able to perform a wedding.  I met with him and his fiance and followed through with that responsibility shortly after.  

A decade later, I reached out to him and made a contact in hopes that we could revive our friendship, but it never got off the ground.  Years turned into decades.  I thought of him a thousand times and always wondered how life had turned out for him.  I regretted letting our friendship cool off!  I've never had a friend as close as Bob since.  

Then a couple of months ago, I saw his obituary posted on the NB Alumni Facebook page.  I can't begin to describe the depth of sorrow I felt as I read about his life.  This guy was a formative force in my life through those adolescent years.  He was born one week before me in 1952.  I felt (and feel) the pain of an early relationship that failed to develop through our mature years.  I'm so sorry for my failure to work at sustaining contact with this great friend.  

Bob died on March 4.  I had a long-term plan in place to begin the Appalachian Trail on March 9th, so I was unable to attend his funeral.  Thoughts of him permeated my weeks of hiking.  

I know now that those early-life friendships rarely extend into our adult years.  When they do, it must be a great source of pleasure.  I will be forever grateful for my friendships with Bob, Larry and John.  We surely must have had fights, but I don't remember them.  I just remember fun, adventurous, even mischievous times together and a bonding that still causes my heart to ache when I think of them!  

"Bob, I was glad to read in your obituary of your spiritual connection to God and your acknowledgement that you intend to 'be with Jesus'!  I'll join you there someday and look forward to reminiscing together about the fun times we had as we were growing up!  You were a great friend and I'm sorry that I never told you that.  I rejoiced reading about your family and will continue to pray for them as they are surely missing you!"