TRACIE ELIZABETH'S ARRIVAL

It was just several months after Troy’s birth that I came home and found Debbie feeling pretty low.  She’d been to the doctor and I was worried that she might have received a bad report.  I pressed her for details.  With tears, she burst out:  “I’m pregnant again!”  My response was immediate and spontaneous:  “That’s fantastic!”  She was instantly relieved.  After four-and-a-half-years of trying to get Troy, her birth came as a delightful surprise! 

The pregnancy was much like Troy’s.  Debbie was her healthiest when she was pregnant!  She had hardly packed her pregnancy clothes away! 

Of course, we had the same doctor and he required the same safety measures regarding this birth.  Consequently, the birth had to take place at the University Hospital in Morgantown, West Virginia.  We had to have an operating room reserved in case problems developed.  All this was necessary since Travis had been a Caesarian delivery, but Troy’s delivery had been a natural one. 

It was a bit of a nuisance to have to travel to Morgantown for doctor’s appointments, but the joy of the purpose overcame the inconvenience of the trip.  The road we traveled went through Masontown and Whitehouse and had lots of curves.  It was a challenging road to drive if you were in a hurry!  We had made the trip in a hurry some months ago [see my story, TROY BOY’S ARRIVAL].

The pregnancy went well and we reported for all of Deb’s appointments without problems.  One Wednesday night, she felt that things were coming ready to deliver and called our neighbor, Rose, to be on alert in case her contractions began. The next morning, we left Travis and Troy with Rose and made the trip to Morgantown for a regularly scheduled appointment with her doctor.  It was August 13, 1981.  We arrived at the hospital to find a new, temporary check-in system being used.  This concerned us because the line we were waiting in was long and seemed to be moving slowly. 

After a significant wait, we were seated before a relatively young, African-American man who was responsible for our intake.  I tried to field all of his questions while Debbie systematically closed her eyes and did her counting, while lightly rubbing her hands on her belly.  I could tell that the young man felt the urgency!  He began to break out in sweat and occasionally mopped his forehead with his handkerchief.  FINALLY, we were cleared to head to her doctor’s office to report for her appointment!

Her condition was quickly recognized to be urgent there and she was admitted and rushed to the labor room!  Things can move quickly in a hospital when they need to! 

When I finally was allowed to join her in the labor room, she was in a hospital gown and in the stirrups with the doctor all ready to assist with the delivery.  That’s when everything stopped!

No contractions!  No discomfort.  The doctor was concerned and placed a tap on the baby’s head.  The read-out indicated no stress on the baby;  it was okay.  He smiled and said that sometimes this just happens and that we would have to wait for Debbie’s body to signal the impending delivery. 

At that point, I was standing on her left side while holding her hand and encouraging her.  The anesthesiologist was a foot away at her head.  He suggested that I pull a stool over to be close to Debbie – since we were obviously in for a delay of unknown length.  Before I did so, I leaned in and whispered to her that she was lucky to be able to have her pastor with her in the delivery room!  She smiled and squeezed my hand.  As I walked away to get the stool, the anesthesiologist leaned down and asked her:  “Is he really your pastor?”   Ha ha ha…  Debbie delightfully reported that ‘Yes’ I was her pastor, but also her husband!  We all had a good laugh at that!

After about a fifteen minute wait, Debbie’s body resumed the delivery process and within a few minutes, we had our third child!  Excitedly, I reported:  “It’s a girl!”  She was born around 2:40 PM and weighed 6 pounds and 13 ounces. 

Throughout their childhood years, Tracie took great delight, from August 13 till August 24, reminding Troy that for that period they were the same age!  It was a miserable time for Troy!   

We had discussed names for boys and girls.  We wanted to stay with the T’s, although I had advocated for the girl’s name, Hannah.  Elizabeth was a family name on both sides, so we had decided to use it as a possible middle name – if we had a girl.  I had also suggested a creative combination by naming her ‘Tracibeth’;  we both liked that.  However, when the person came to ask her name for the birth certificate, she caught Debbie unprepared – so her name went down as Tracie Elizabeth Haire.  J

We were now very happy and satisfied with our little girl - as a family of five! 

WISE PEOPLE LISTEN TO WISE COUNSELORS

I just read two stories that illustrate the wisdom of heeding the advice of wise counselors.  Of course, the opposite is also true:  negate the counsel of foolish advisers.

In Numbers 13, God has Moses send twelve spies to infiltrate the Promised Land and bring back a report before they cross the Jordan River and begin their occupation of Israel.  This story is well known.  Ten come back with a fearful report of giants, walled cities, and massive numbers of Canaanites.  Two - Joshua and Caleb (we remember their names) - bring back a report of fertile land and excitement over the victory that God will give!

Unfortunately, the children of Israel believe the majority report:  [Numbers 13:32b - 14:1]

______________________________________________

So the report of these other scouts was quite disheartening; it made the people question God’s promise.

Other Scouts: The land that we surveyed virtually eats its own, and the people themselves are gigantic.  We saw the massive Anakites who descended from the ancient Nephilim!  We look like grasshoppers compared to them, and they know it.

At this, everybody with one voice cried out, and the people groaned and wept all night.

_______________________________________________________________________________   (The VOICE)

These people paid dearly for their poor judgment and lack of faith. As a result, all (aged 20 and older) were left to wander in the wilderness for another 40 years until every last one of them died; except for Joshua and Caleb! It was their children who would inherit the new land and complete God's plan!

There's another story in I Chronicles 19, that highlights a similar folly. King David is solidly established in Israel and has expanded his kingdom by enormous proportions. Nahash, the king of the Ammorites, died and David sent emissaries of condolence. Upon their arrival, the new king, Nahash's son, Hanun, is advised by his chiefs that these emissaries are really there to spy.

Hanun heeds their counsel by humiliating David's messengers;  he has them shaved and cuts their garment hems off at their hips!  BIG MISTAKE!!!!

David responds as you would suspect.  He sends his armies to defeat the Ammonites!

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Having wise counselors in place provides a huge advantage in life!  Proverbs 11:14 declares:  "...victory is certain when there are plenty of wise counselors."

Those who go-it-alone, or worse, gather foolish advisers suffer for their indiscretion!  

I've been fortunate to have intersections with wise counselors throughout my life!  This is not to say that there weren't foolish voices as well, but most of the time I was discerning and recognized the voices of wisdom.  

Wise people cultivate relationships of trust with wise counselors!  

Although I could cite many, I'll choose three examples from my life.

R

First, when I was in my 30's I became aware that a woman was pursuing an inordinate amount of time with me.  I noticed that she was dressing up when she knew we would be together.  I felt flattered.  My imagination began to run wild.  I recognized that I was in trouble!  I called a peer and asked if I could come for a visit.  I drove to his office immediately and confessed my temptation and my fear.  I listened to his counsel and maintained a relationship of accountability with him for a while until I felt that I was on solid ground again.  His role in my life at that critical time was far more significant than I can express in this blog!  

Second, also when I was in my 30's, I faced an emotional crisis of phenomenal proportions.  Let's call it a case of major burn-out!  Full time pastoring, part-time seminary, a growing church, and the demands of being a husband and father combined to take me down.  I resigned immediately from my position with no plans for supporting my family.  

Two people stepped into my life.  Alma Kelly was on my pastor's cabinet and she took authority to place me on an indeterminate leave of absence with full pay!  For the next two months my pay was delivered to my home every Sunday!  

During that time, God brought a man back into my life who had been a hero for me.  When I was four years old, I idolized my pastor, Glenn Hughes, and wanted to be a preacher Ike him when I grew up! He had intersected my life at two previous critical times, and now God brought him to me again.  I don't remember his words.  I do remember his acceptance.  He didn't judge me as a failure.  He comforted me.  He made suggestions - which I followed.  Between His wise words and a miraculous intervention by God, I returned to my role after several months and never questioned my call again!

Third, our family faced a financial crisis during our time in East Liverpool, Ohio.  It was brought on by a lack of wisdom in our financial dealings.  We had accrued debt for my substantial educational pursuits.  We had also acquired credit card debt.  For several years in a row we had taken out a loan to pay our taxes.  The stress on me was a contributing factor to the burn-out experience described earlier.  

I cannot fully express the pressure that I was under during that time period!  Our finances became a trigger for depression that began to destroy my life.  My family lost several years of my presence as a result of depression dips that usually lasted for about three weeks.  During those times, it took all of my energy to function at a minimal level!  

God brought to my side two wise counselors:  Pete Muschweck and Ron Kelly.  Pete was my treasurer and he had a great deal of practical wisdom that he was willing to share with me.  He didn't judge me and offered me hope.  Ron's wisdom was in the area of biblical insight.  He taught me God's principles of financial management.  He was patient with me and raised my confidence that we could change our circumstances through faith and obedience!  He prayed with me and for me!  

As a result of this guidance, we were able to eliminate our debt over the next ten years!  Taking away one of depression's key triggers has brought renewed peace to my life!  We could not have done this without the help of wise counselors.

_______________________________________

Do you take advantage of wise counselors?  Or are you facing life's dilemmas on your own?  Have you experienced the satisfaction and sense of accomplishment that comes from sitting down with someone who is compassionate, understanding and wise?  

While pastoring in New Middletown, Ohio, I realized that most of the couples coming to me for marriage had not been exposed to even one long-term, happy marriage.  We had five couples in the church at the time who had been married over fifty years!  I began to make an assignment to these couples:  "Here's a list of five couples who have been married for fifty years.  Invite one of these couple out to dinner and interview them.  Ask them how they made their marriage work.  Be aggressive in asking specific questions - even write them down ahead of time."  

I believe this simple assignment had more effect than all the wise counsel I gave them in our pre-marital sessions!  

Do you trust your pastor?  Is there an older person you admire?  Do you recognize someone who has achieved what you only dream of?  Are there family members who seem to manage their lives better than you do?  

If you feel you could benefit from wise counsel, but don't see anyone on the horizon, why not ask God to bring someone to you?  

If you have any trust in me, I'd be happy to sit down with you - call me:  (724) 944-3881. 

Meanwhile, keep in mind that one of the treasured names for the Holy Spirit is "Counselor"!  :-)

HE SAVED MY LIFE!

Right about this time of year in 1941, ten prisoners disappeared from the German death camp at Auschwitz.  In retaliation and an attempt to deter further escape attempts, the camp deputy commander ordered that ten men be starved to death in an underground bunker.  When one of the selected men, Franciszek Gajowniczek, cried out, "My wife! My children!", Father Maximilian Kolbe, a Franciscan friar, volunteered to take his place.  Father Kolbe was then 47. Mr. Gajowniczek was 41. 

After two weeks of dehydration and starvation, only Kolbe remained alive. The guards wanted the bunker emptied, so they gave Kolbe a lethal injection of carbolic acid. Kolbe is said to have raised his left arm and calmly waited for the deadly injection.  He died on August 14.  For his sacrifice, he was declared a saint in 1982, by Pope John Paul II.  Gajowniczek - the man Father Kolbe saved died on March 13, 1995, at Brzeg in Poland, 95 years old - 53 years after Kolbe had saved him.   [credit:  Wikipedia]

History is punctuated with many stories of people who made similar sacrifices for loved ones and even unknown others.  Some fell on grenades to save comrades;  others plunged into floodwaters to save drowning people.  

The 1961 movie, BARABBAS, tells the fictional account of the man who was released before Jesus was crucified.  In the story-line, he goes on to live a violent and rebellious life of suffering and misfortune, until circumstances cause him to turn to faith in Christ.  His is the proverbial story of a person who was granted life because someone else took his place in death.  

I was reading the Bible this morning and came to my psalm for the day:  Psalm 87.  Verse 13 caught my attention for more than a few moments:   [from The VOICE]

"...Your loyal love for me is so great it is beyond comparison.  

You have rescued my soul from the depths of the grave."  

I was captivated by David's (the psalm-writer) devotion and conviction that he had been rescued from death by the grace of God.  

By divine coincidence (I love that phrase), I also read Colossians 1, today.  I was stunned as I read verses 21-23a:   [also from The VOICE]

"You were once at odds with God, wicked in your ways and evil in your minds;  but now He has reconciled you in His body - in His flesh through His death - so that He can present you to God holy, blameless, and totally free of imperfection as long as you stay planted in the faith."

It hit me:  I am Franciszek Gajowniczek!  I am Barabbas!  I live because someone else died!  This person was a real, live person - even though He lived two thousand years ago.  However, He was more than just a person - He was a God-man!  This God-man, Jesus, said in John 8:51 (another chapter I coincidentally read today):  [from The VOICE]

"I tell you the truth, anyone who hears My voice and keeps My word will never experience death."  

Point taken:  I have been rescued from death by Jesus!

According to his own reports, Mr. Gajowniczek felt guilty.  The other inmates became brutal and mean to him because his outcry took away their confessor and confidant.  He lived every day with a deep sense of gratitude to Father Kolbe for his sacrificial action.  How could he not?

David seems to express that same measure of gratitude.  Nearly half of our book of 150 psalms were penned by this man-after-God's-heart!  

After thinking through the above, I have come to realize that I have not lived every day with a due sense of appreciation to the One who saved my life!  

Oh, I 

• visit His House once-a-week,
• read His Word from time-to-time,
• say a prayer before most of my meals,
• call out to Him when I have a problem,
• occasionally wear Christian T-shirts,...

Are you seeing (as I have) how pathetic this is?  

He stepped into MY PLACE!

He took the punishment for MY SIN!

He declared ME innocent!

He rescued me from death ETERNALLY!  

Is this the best I can do for someone who has given so much?  

Do I, like Franciszek Gajowniczek, think of my savior EVERY DAY?

Do I live with a sense of deep, deep gratitude to the One who took MY PLACE?
Do I talk about Him daily?  Do I praise Him to others?

Can I do better?

Oh, YES, I can do better.  And I've spent some time this morning talking with Him about my determinations to live my life more purposefully as an expression of my gratitude for what He has done for me!  

How about you?  Have you acknowledged Jesus as YOUR Savior?  If so, that means He took YOUR place, too!  Are you thinking of Him with gratitude every day?  Are you making your life count?  

If you haven't acknowledged Him as your Savior - and want to, call or text me;  I'd love to talk with you about that...   (724) 944-3881

THE BEST DAY!!!

Actually, the title should be: THE BEST TWELVE DAYS!  Or, it could be: WE LOVE OUR FAMILY!  :-)

Debbie and I look forward to July because our grandkids, Rylie and Coltin, come to join us for Family Camp in East Liverpool, Ohio every summer.  For ten days we live together in the cabin that I built (with the enormous help of my good friend, David Rose) eight years ago (mostly paid for by Travis).  It's rustic.  We eat our meals in the dining hall (except Coltin, whose allergies demand that he eat most of his meals at the cabin).  They participate in the children's programming and we all go to church together each evening.  In the afternoons, they play with their many cousins and we often go swimming at Uncle Jeff and Aunt Cathy's!  It's an amazing time - and we LOVE it!

This year, I persuaded Tracie to stay for a few add-on days at our home in Enon Valley.  Allison, our adopted daughter (and good friend to all three T's) came in for those add-on days, too.  Troy and Missy joined us for as much as their schedules would allow.  

But yesterday...wow, yesterday was awesome!  

• the weather was GREAT!
• we were all together for most of the day.
• we ate good food  (steak and peppers-filled-with-cheese-and-wrapped-in-bacon)  Mmmmm...
• we played games (including cornhole)
• we prayed together several times
• we talked
• we rode a quad and a golf cart
• we played with Shadow and Gabe
• we went shopping at Gabe's for new school shoes (and other things)

Yesterday was the best day of my year so far!  I loved every minute of it!  It was the kind of day I often dream of, with all our family gathered around us - enjoying each other!  

Most of the time now, it's just Debbie and me - and that's okay, it's the way of life.  We enjoy being together!  My love for her grows with every day!  She's a great wife and has been a wonderful, loving Mom.  Her grandkids absolutely love her!  Me too!  When she announces that she's going to sit with her Mom for a day, it makes me sad.  I miss her.

For years, our kids have lived at a distance.  Tracie and Jon have lived in Hawaii and Connecticut.  Troy has lived in Akron, Savannah and now New Middletown.  :-)   Travis lived in more places than I can remember:  Great Lakes, Orlando, Annapolis, Sarasota Springs, Savannah, Fernandina Beach, FL, Bremerton, WA, San Diego, Honolulu...

Having our whole family home at the same time has been rare.  I often envy families that are able to do so frequently!  So, when they come, we try to pack as much in as we possibly can!  Debbie makes their favorite foods.  We focus on them and enjoy them as much as possible.  I try to make sure all the 'toys' are up-and-running.  We want everything to be as perfect as we can make it.  

Yesterday, we hit the mark!  What an amazing, wonderful, special, thoroughly enjoyable day!  Thank You, Lord, for our family!  We love them so!

We missed our two sons-in-law:  Jon and Josh, who couldn't be with us this time.  We also, of course, missed Travis, but his portrait watched over all our fun throughout our time together.  

Debbie and I are...well...BLESSED!  All these precious gifts of God have added so much meaning to our lives.  We take immense joy and pride from watching them each live their lives.  Their accomplishments bring us joy.  That's the way family should be, right?  

But now, 

• Allison left late last night
• Tracie and the kids pulled out this morning
• Troy and Missy went back to work 
• Deb left to sit with her Mom for two days
• and I --------- I'm here with Gabe and Shadow, feeling the loneliness.

 
 

But, I get to see Troy and Missy pretty frequently.  :-)  And we'll see Tracie, Jon and the kids again in August.  And then, they're coming home again in October for a family wedding!  👏👏👏👏  So, I'm happy about that.  

All-in-all, I guess you could say (in spite of my temporary loneliness) that I'm feeling very, very, very GRATEFUL!!!!

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Praise Him, all creatures here below!

Praise Him above, ye heavenly host!

Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost!

I'M A PROSPEROUS MAN!

I had a lesson that I used when I was teaching in Changchun (PRC).  It was on stereotypes.  I asked my students to start naming characteristics of Americans.  They quickly started responding:

• tall
• humorous
• outgoing
• friendly
• good-looking
• rich
• intelligent
• creative

Then, I asked them where these ideas came from.  It was a humorous moment because I watched some of them look at the list and then look at me - as the lights came on!  They had formed an opinion about Americans based on their knowledge of me and Mrs. Osborne, their freshman 'Oral English' teacher!  Now, no matter how hard I tried to convince them that I was NOT rich, they persisted in believing that I was.  Ha ha ha ha...

Today, however, I suddenly realized that I am, indeed, rich!  I placed a post on Facebook last evening and was surprised when I checked in moments ago at how many people had 'Liked' my post.  I opened the list and read down through the names.  It included people from:

• my high school class
• New Brighton FMC (my home church)
• Oakland Church
• Tri-State Family Camp
• Cornerstone Church
• Freedom Church
• the Ohio Conference (FMC)
• China
• Kittanning Free Methodist Church
• the Pittsburgh Conference (FMC)
• the Whippo family
• the Haire family
• our current neighborhood
• New Springfield Church of God
• and some others who are hard to put in a general category!

Mark Twain said, "No man is a failure who has friends."  [also quoted in IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE].  

No one (except, perhaps, my Chinese students) thinks of me as a wealthy man!  However, I have always thought of myself as a suitable representative of the prosperous man that the Bible talks so much about.  I have a near-daily ritual I go through and I frequently include Debbie in it.  It goes like this:

Lord,

Thank You for my wife who loves me, encourages me and supports me in all my wild ventures!

Thank You for my children and my precious grandchildren!  I love them so!

And thank You for Leonard and Hazel Haire and the hairetage of faith they established for me!

And thank you for my siblings and the blessings they have been in my life!

And thank You for the extended family who have blessed and enriched my life beyond words!

Thank You, Lord for the many teachers who have made investments in my life over the years!  

And thank You for the mentors who modeled excellence and leadership for me!  

And thank You, Lord, for my work and the people You have caused me to intersect with over the years!

And thank You for my home and the fact that it's paid for!  Hallelujah!  (There was a time when I never thought this would be possible!)

And thank You for my cars (some will smile here).

And thank You for all the comforts that we enjoy!

And thank You for an adequate income;  

for a government that provides our Social Security;  

and for the Free Methodist Church and its wisdom in providing for my pension!

[You get the drift...]

Can you see why I consider myself a prosperous man?  Debbie and I are often surprised by the support of those around us who seem to love us and care about us.  When we went to China we were blessed to be financially and prayerfully supported by hundreds of friends and family!  When Travis died, we were overwhelmed by the supportive cards, gifts, and messages that we received.  When we faced various challenges along the way (financial, child-rearing, vocational, physical) we've always been surrounded by people who wanted to help, encourage or bless us!  

And to be quite frank:  I don't deserve any of this!  I'm a VERY average guy who was the fourth-born to a nail-maker and a home-maker.  I grew up in small-town, America, and got 28 C's in my high school career (I know this because it kept me from getting into a Master's degree program later in life).  My coolest cars were:  a '63 Chevy (when I was 16) and a brand new 1974 Mustang II  (when I was 22).  I've never made big wages and never taken extravagant vacations.  Our kids remember camping at Pymatuning as the highlight of our summer (and maybe going to the water-slides)!  I've rarely been the best at anything (although Debbie and I did get a trophy on our honeymoon for being the "Best In The Sack' [sack races - if you don't know what they are, ask a person over 50]).  

You get the drift...

And yet  -  I am surrounded by friends from so many places and environments!  This is clearly a vivid picture of GOD'S AMAZING GRACE!  And I am so thankful for the friends who populate my world!  If you're one of them - please know how much I appreciate the way you've impacted my life!

Thank You, Lord!  You're ALWAYS GOOD!!!!!!     

BEST FRIEND

I don't have a clear memory of when our friendship began, but it was probably in first grade.  He lived on Crescent Heights and I lived on Brighton Heights.  Mercer Road separated our communities.  The Honor Roll bus stop picked up the kids from both communities.  That's where most of our days began.  We'd play 'tag' or find something to throw back and forth until the bus came.  We used to sing a lot on the bus - I remember singing the United States Marine Corps Hymn;  after all, we were all baby-boomers in a post-war era!  But, of course, we also sang "100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall", "She'll Be Coming Around the Mountain" and "This Old Man, He Played One".  And on the last day of school we belted out "School's Out" until we got off the bus nearly hoarse from yelling "no more teachers' dirty looks!"  

But life really began when we left the bus stop.  We headed to our respective homes with a perpetual plan to re-meet at the Honor Roll in fifteen minutes.  Together we would head out Mercer Road to meet up with John (Hovancik) and Larry (Householder) to play either basketball or (more likely) football.  Our favorite version was "Razzle-Dazzle-Drops" where the ball went to the other team with an incomplete pass at the place of infraction.  It was usually me and Bob (Creese) against Larry and John (although we did occasionally mix it up).  This would go on until one of us had to go home for supper which would sadly end our day.

Bob and I literally spent hundreds of hours playing basketball in his back yard where he had a tiny court.  We were competitive, but he was always the better player and usually won.  Sometimes on hot summer days we'd play Monopoly where the games would literally last for days.  

Bob was my best friend for as long as I can remember.  We spent so much time together.  On rainy or winter days we would explore his attic behind the walls where we felt like true adventurers.  Or, we'd play ping-pong in my basement.  We invented games to play.  For a while we found a pulley in the rafter of our basement and hooked a rope to it.  We tied something to the end of the rope and then one of us would lie of the floor while the other dropped the weight and tried to make the other flinch!  No one ever lost an eye!  

We slept over at one another's house;  sometimes all four of us!  In the summer we had 'sleep-outs'.  We'd put up an old wall tent we'd found in our basement and roll out our sleeping bags.  Once we were pretty sure my parents were asleep, we'd wander around the neighborhood.  A few times we walked out Mercer Road to 'Stop-N-Sock' to pick up some golf balls.  One time we walked naked and then would dive for cover if a rare car came along!  The thrill of the risk made us giggle and laugh out of sheer fear of being caught.

In the winter we would lob snowballs down on cars from the hillside on the Brighton Heights side.  It may sound like we were bad boys, but I think we were pretty normal.  Neither of us ever did anything to harm anyone or their property.  Call us "mischievous", but not delinquents.   

I spent a lot of time at Bob's house.  His Dad was kind of a scary guy to me;  he was a rough fellow and often seemed angry or unhappy.  His Mom, on the other hand, was a WONDERFUL lady with a beautiful smile and a friendly way.  His little sister, Sue, was always around too.  We didn't have much interaction with her, but from what I can tell, she took on the sweet character of her Mom!  

Although I think all of us went to church, I was probably the most invested.  When my church would have a 'revival', Bob claimed I would get religious for a while.  I never developed a colorful language, but did learn some words that were close enough to buy me acceptance with the other guys.  

Aside from Bob, Larry and John, my other set of friends were from the youth group at church.  I became close to this group simply because of our common appearance at church on Sunday mornings and evenings, Wednesday nights and twice-a-year, week-long revivals where we would have services every night for a week!  Add to that periodic youth group meetings and parties and summer youth camps, and we spent a good bit of time together too.

But Bob was my best friend.  We shared our dreams and our fears and kept one another's confidences through the years.  When high school years arrived, we drifted apart some as Bob gained access to the 'cooler group of kids'.  I never made that grade.  Our friendship stayed intact, but lost some of the closeness.  

Bob and Larry were both 'engineering' students.  Consequently, they took lots of math and science courses.  So, I took those courses too, to be with my friends.  The two of them coached me enough to get me through those classes:  Algebra II, Algebra III, Geometry, Trigonometry, and even Calculus.  I got barely passing grades, but completed every math course offered at New Brighton High School.  Bob and Larry got grades in the 90's;  I got grades in the high 70's.  :-)   I, of course, went on to be a humanities student in college and never took anything except a Cultural Math course at the college level.  

A quirky thing happened at our graduation.  Larry, Bob and I ended up leading our classmates in the processional at Baccalaureate and Commencement.  Larry led the processional because he was our Valedictorian.  I was at the front because I sang at those events, and Bob was there because his last name was Creese!  We simply didn't realize that our friendship was experiencing its last days!  

However, we stayed close enough that Bob served as 'Best Man' at my wedding on August 11, 1973, after I graduated from college.  He was a nervous wreck in the hours leading up to the service.  I eventually took him outside so he could smoke to calm his nerves.  Larry was one of the groomsmen too.  But, unfortunately, our paths led us in different directions from that point on.  

Bob reached out to me twice later in life.  He made a lengthy trip to visit me while we were living in McClellandtown, PA, which would have been around 1979 or 1980.  A few years later, he called and asked if I was able to perform a wedding.  I met with him and his fiance and followed through with that responsibility shortly after.  

A decade later, I reached out to him and made a contact in hopes that we could revive our friendship, but it never got off the ground.  Years turned into decades.  I thought of him a thousand times and always wondered how life had turned out for him.  I regretted letting our friendship cool off!  I've never had a friend as close as Bob since.  

Then a couple of months ago, I saw his obituary posted on the NB Alumni Facebook page.  I can't begin to describe the depth of sorrow I felt as I read about his life.  This guy was a formative force in my life through those adolescent years.  He was born one week before me in 1952.  I felt (and feel) the pain of an early relationship that failed to develop through our mature years.  I'm so sorry for my failure to work at sustaining contact with this great friend.  

Bob died on March 4.  I had a long-term plan in place to begin the Appalachian Trail on March 9th, so I was unable to attend his funeral.  Thoughts of him permeated my weeks of hiking.  

I know now that those early-life friendships rarely extend into our adult years.  When they do, it must be a great source of pleasure.  I will be forever grateful for my friendships with Bob, Larry and John.  We surely must have had fights, but I don't remember them.  I just remember fun, adventurous, even mischievous times together and a bonding that still causes my heart to ache when I think of them!  

"Bob, I was glad to read in your obituary of your spiritual connection to God and your acknowledgement that you intend to 'be with Jesus'!  I'll join you there someday and look forward to reminiscing together about the fun times we had as we were growing up!  You were a great friend and I'm sorry that I never told you that.  I rejoiced reading about your family and will continue to pray for them as they are surely missing you!"

MY BROTHER

I am the youngest in a family of four children.  The first-born was Jeannette and she was born fifteen years ahead of me.  [Debbie taught me to use the term 'first-born' as opposed to 'oldest'.   :-)]  I'll write about Jeannette someday, but it'll have to be a long blog!  Ira was the second-born and he was born twelve years before me.  Then came Beverly, who is seven years older than me.  I was born in 1952.

From July, 2014

Obviously, Ira was twelve when I was born.  Most of us don't remember much before the age of four or five.  Our family moved from Beaver Falls, PA to New Brighton, PA (across the river) when I was about five.  I have few memories of the old house.  Ira was a senior in high school when we moved;  I was in kindergarten.  I started school in Beaver Falls, but finished in New Brighton.  Because Ira was a senior and had a driver's license, he was allowed to finish his high school in Beaver Falls.

I have no recollection of Ira living at home with us.  When he graduated, he moved to the Rochester, New York area and began taking classes at the Rochester Institute of Technology.  I believe he also took classes at Roberts Wesleyan College.  I remember our family driving to Buffalo, New York one day to watch him play in a soccer game;  he was the goalie - I was impressed!

I have two memories of him still being at home.  The first is of us sleeping in the same room at the new house.  One night, he came in and fell asleep on his belly with his arms hanging over the sides of the bed.  I was in the other twin bed and was still awake.  He was wearing a diver's watch with an illuminated dial.  I laid for a long time looking at that watch and at him.  I admired him so much!  He was my big brother!  I could hardly believe it!

The second memory is of him coming into the new house with a friend while we were eating a late supper.  Ira always was a joker and comedian.  He and his friend had been at a carnival and he had won a large clown (about three-feet tall).  I was so impressed!  Before he and his friend left, he gave the clown to our sister, Beverly!  Wow!  There was no jealousy on my part;  I was too busy admiring him for his kindness and generosity!  I knew I wanted to be like him.

Eventually Ira married Joyce and they moved to Philadelphia.  During those years, my folks and I made occasional trips to visit them and they made occasional visits to New Brighton.  Ira became very invested in leadership in his local Free Methodist Church;  as did Joyce.  For a while, he studied at the Philadelphia College of Bible.  

After that, he faded from my life until I graduated from high school.  At that time (1969), he was married and he and Joyce had two young children:  Sandee and Lee.  Good-paying jobs for newly graduated seniors were scarce in the Beaver Valley at the time.  He called and told me that Joyce's father would hire me to work as a helper for his roofing/air conditioning crew and pay me $2.00/hour!  I couldn't find anything close to that around home.  I needed to make money to help pay for my college costs.  

With my parent's blessing, I left home three days after graduation and headed for Roslyn, PA in my 1963 Chevy.  I had just turned seventeen four months earlier.  He and Joyce had prepared a room for me in their attic where I was very comfortable.  Twitch's (Carlos Twitchell - Joyce's dad and my new boss) was just a mile away.  I started immediately working alongside two other future ministers and RWC alumni:  Bill Rushik and Carl Stiglich.  

Twitch also hired me to do his lawn work in the evenings and on Saturdays.  In addition, I was encouraged to work with Jerry Rushik (Bill's dad) in the metal shop in the evenings banging duct-work together.  It was a great situation for me and I learned so much!  I grew strong from carrying bundles of shingles and buckets of hot tar.  One day, I shoveled a full dump truck of gravel into buckets and handed them up to the roof .  That same evening, though exhausted, I began hitch-hiking home for John and Joan Mitchell's wedding.  :-)  [That's a story for another time.]

During this season of life, my admiration for my brother grew.  He had a small machine shop at Twitch's and worked there almost every evening.  He usually had a couple of cars;  often one of them was an older car that he had worked on.  Later in life, he had a Corvette - one of my unfulfilled life dreams!  He knew about cars.  He talked a language that my Dad understood, but I did not.  When he would visit, they would talk 'shop'.  Again, I envied him for a relationship with our Dad that I did not share.  

Ira's expertise as a machinist was extreme.  He later had his own shop in Canton, PA where he employed a number of people.  He designed and made a very complex part for the first space shuttle!  He navigated the transition of his trade into the computer age - a major feat with massive implications!  

Even though I spent a couple of summers (and Christmas seasons) in Philly living with him, we never really developed our relationship.  I did get to know Joyce a lot better and we spent some nice time together.  Sandee and Lee were really young.  It was fun for me to be around them during that stage of life, although I'm sure neither of them remember it.  Joyce made my lunch every day;  she made me boiled ham sandwiches - which was something new for me.  I loved them!  

After I was married, Debbie and I tried to go and visit them at least once a year.  By then, they had moved to north-central Pennsylvania and were living on a farm with Twitch and Ethel (Joyce's Mom).  Ira had his shop and together they all raised Angora goats.  It seemed to be a good time for all of them.  One year, Joyce had the whole Haire family come for a Thanksgiving feast - it was WONDERFUL!!!!

Our kids always loved going to visit Uncle Ira.  Of course, it helped that he had two four-wheelers!  He would put them in first gear and allow the kids to ride them around his house.  They were thrilled!  He had a 'bread-and-butter' job at the time making lawn mower pulleys in his shop.  He would pay Travis a penny to put the screws in the pulleys.  In doing so he helped to cultivate Travis' entrepreneurial spirit!!!!  

One day, when Troy and Tracie were young teens, we visited and they rode the four-wheelers almost non-stop!  When we were leaving, Troy asked me if Uncle Ira would sell the four-wheelers to us.  I told him to ask Uncle Ira.  Ira explained to Troy that he had just spent a lot of money to get them both running again and that he would have to ask for $1,500.  Troy asked me if we could buy them.  We had just moved to Spencerville, Maryland that summer.  The kids were having difficulty making friends and we were all missing our East Liverpool connections.  The church had hired Troy and Tracie to take care of cutting the large lawn around the church;  so they had some income.  I asked if they could each chip in $33/month?  They said, "YES!"  I told them that I would add $34 to make it $100.  That's how the quads became a permanent part of the Haire Family legacy!

A few weeks later, we took a trailer and brought the quads to Spencerville.  Within days, they had made dozens of new friends!  I still have those quads today and they still run!  :-)

Every time we visited Ira, he would stick a twenty-dollar-bill in my hand or pocket.  When I was ordained, he and Joyce bought me an expensive set of International Bible Encyclopedias that I used heavily during the next forty years!  He would fill my trunk with things he thought I could use.

Over the years, Joyce has hosted the Haire family over the Fourth of July several times.  These times were essential in helping us to stay connected after the passing of our parents!

Ira and Joyce have always made a deep investment in their church.  When they moved to Leroy, PA, they became United Methodist since there was no Free Methodist Church nearby.  Later, they transitioned to the Mennonite Church and played a role in growing that congregation and helping to build a new, contemporary building.  Ira's influence and opinion has always been respected;  people respond to his humor and his integrity!  His investment as a trustee has been appreciated by every church that he has been a part of.  I've accompanied him several times while he did small jobs around his church.

Over the years, I made a practice of having annual retreats at a place near where Ira and Joyce live.  I would always carve out a morning to have breakfast with Ira.  It was something I looked forward to.  Sometimes I would have a meal with them at their house, too.  He repeatedly took me to breakfast groups with some of his friends from the community.  I became accustomed to him introducing me as his "kid brother".

In 2005, when Hurricane Katrina did so much damage in New Orleans and the Gulf Coast, Ira volunteered with the Red Cross and ran one of their shelters for an extended period of time.  During this time, he led several teams from his church and area to assist in the recovery efforts.  He also took the initiative to personally link families from his area to families that had been displaced.  These connections provided prayer, resources and assistance at a time when it was severely needed!

Bottom Line:  Although we've not had a close relationship like some brothers, I've always loved, respected and admired my big brother - and I still do!