Ken's Faults

[Ken is Kenneth W. Whippo, my father-in-law.]

When Tommy (Whippo) asked me to speak at his father's funeral, he told me that Danny (Whippo) and Marshall (Mahosky) would also be giving tributes.  I realized right away that they would have lots of nice things to say about Ken, so I immediately decided that I would take a different approach and talk about Ken’s faults.  A little advice:  never ask a son-in-law to do a tribute at a funeral for his father-in-law.  I mean, let’s admit it, even the best of us have faults.

Ken – especially in his younger years – was a fearsome man!  He was tough to work with.  He had high expectations and was demanding!  In those early years all of us – at one time or another – worked in the barn!  One day, I was in the pen working with Ken to separate the pigs that were marked and ready to be sold.  This was a challenging job because the pigs didn’t want to leave the familiarity of the pen.  So we wielded large pieces of plywood to separate the pig and force it toward the gate.  At that point Wally or Tommy would pick it up and run it down the aisle to the ramp that led to the truck.  There was always another battle there because the pigs didn’t like the ramp.  It was made of wood and was on an angle, so they would often balk.  But once one of the boys got the pig to the ramp, another boy took over with an electric prodder to get the pig up the ramp and onto the truck.

I’ve lost track now of who was running the pigs down the aisle;  but I do remember how small Tommy and Wally were at this point.  I’m guessing they were 10 and 12.  Whichever one it was got an obstinate pig.  Halfway down the aisle it decided it wanted to go back to the safety of the pen and started to climb the wall in hopes of turning around in the narrow space.  Ken noticed this problem from our work in the pen and hollered loudly and authoritatively:  “Don’t let that pig turn around!” 

It was in that moment – driven by fear of a father more than fear of a 220-pound pig – that a sixty-pound little kid threw himself on that hog and wrested it back into the right direction!  Ken was a tough guy to work with!

I’ve also noted over the years that he could be rather rude.  For instance, I have been with him over many meals at the farm, in our home and even in restaurants.  After the meal, Ken always treasured a sweet dessert.  Since Dolores and her daughters are all excellent pie-makers, we would often have pie for dessert.  Over and over, I have heard him complain about the pie that someone had worked so hard to produce! 

Here’s how it would usually unfold.  He would quickly and completely consume the piece of pie.  When his hostess, or the creator of the pie, would ask him how it was he would rudely respond:  “There’s only one thing wrong with that pie!”  He always had a twinkle in his eye when he said it, but can you believe how rude he was to do this?  [What was his answer?  “It was too small!]  J

He could also be a bit of a complainer.  A group of us were traveling home from Peter and Janie’s a few years ago.  We stopped half-way to spend the night in a hotel to break up the trip.  In the evening, we went to a local restaurant for a meal.  We were assigned a new waitress who served us very poorly.  We had to wait an inordinate time for our drinks.  When they did come, they were wrong.  It took forever for her to write down our orders.  Then it took forever for the food to arrive.  I have to admit that it was the worst service I have ever received in a restaurant.

Her poor service became the topic of our whole conversation at that table as we all marveled at the poor job she was doing.  Ken led the group in complaints.  He was incredulous that she was doing so poorly.  I think we ended up being at the table for two hours that night as she fumbled to serve us unsuccessfully.  At some point, it became so ridiculous that we simply giggled and laughed at her mis-steps.

Finally, the evening came to an end.  Imagine my surprise when Ken insisted on leaving her a very large tip.  As we were leaving the restaurant, he stepped to the side and spoke to her privately.  I wonder what he said to her?

Another fault of Ken’s was that he was openly biased.  Even though it was often directed toward my own wife, Debbie, I still always felt it was wrong of him.  I can’t tell you how many times I have seen him pull her close and tell her that she was his favorite daughter.  Even though I could understand his bias, was it really fair to his other daughters for him to do this?  [For the record:  Ken did this with all his daughters!]

Surely others of you have noticed this next fault I’ll mention.  Ken was impatient!  Debbie tells me that when they were young, he used to get ready for church and then sit in the car and blow the horn!

And this fault especially emerged when it came to food!   At many tables you say ‘grace’ before you eat;  but not at Ken’s table!  He was hungry, so he started to eat the minute the first plate hit the table!  Poor Dolores was still cooking some of the food while Ken was consuming the first thing she put on the table! 

                                                                                                                                          Oh, eventually, when Dolores would get all the food on the table and sit down Ken would call a stop to the eating and pronounce a clear and sincere prayer.

                                                                                                                                          This impatience almost turned into a game for Ken when he attended a wedding.  He had developed a fine-tuned skill at predicting a seating spot that would be served first!  And he not only did this, but he trained his family to do the same!  You watch at the next wedding they’re all at;  they have an uncanny skill at being at the front of the serving line!

Then, last of all, I will mention his most glaring fault:  he talked about others behind their back!  I can’t tell you how many times I have heard him do this.  I’ve heard him go on-and-on about what a good pastor Bob Singleton was.  I’ve heard him talk about Charlie (Mahosky) being the best guitar player around.  About what a good worship leader Jeff (Diddle) is.  About how skilled Peter (Knaus) is at sailing.  About how quickly Jim (Bredl) rose up in his work place and how good he is at what he does.  About how knowledgeable Dave (Bredl) is on so many subjects.  I rather suspect that he’s probably talked about me behind my back, too! 

And it doesn’t end there.  I’ve heard him talk about his work associates, his friends, and even his grandchildren behind their backs.  There just didn’t seem to be any end to this kind of talk. 

 

Well, I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point.  We all have faults, right?  Compared to a lot of other people I know, I suppose Ken’s faults weren’t really that bad.