In my New International Version Bible, I Corinthians chapter 7 is titled, "Marriage". The chapter has forty verses and the Apostle Paul sort of rambles his way through some very challenging topics. To say the least - it's controversial.
I'm going to try to sort it out for you and give you the high points:
1. Let's observe first, that the Apostle Paul was a single man commenting on marriage! On top of this, he was deeply called and committed to the Lord and had a firm belief that Jesus was coming back soon! These facts impact EVERYTHING he teaches in this chapter!
2. Paul believes in marriage and has a healthy view of it. He teaches that:
...each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. [v.3]
They should enjoy the sexual relationship: The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. [v.4]
He adds: Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. [v.5]
Paul has a covenantal view of marriage and expresses himself without apology: I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. [vs.10-11] [It's interesting that Jesus did allow divorce when marital unfaithfulness was involved. Matthew 19:9 - I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.] It's common today for counselors to condone divorce for three reasons: marital unfaithfulness, abandonment, and physical abuse.
3. Paul directly speaks to the unmarried and widows. It is good for them to stay unmarried , as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. [vs.8-9]
4. Next, he addresses those who live with unsaved spouses. He does NOT see this as a reason for divorce! Paul fervently believes that the faith of the believing spouse - be it husband or wife - will have a sanctifying impact on the unsaved spouse! If the unbelieving husband or wife leaves, then the remaining, believing husband or wife should continue to live with faith in Christ - hoping and praying for salvation for their spouse and reconciliation.
5. Then, Paul turns his attention to virgins. He stresses that this is his opinion and not a command from the Lord [v.25]. Because of the present crisis [severe persecution under the Roman Empire], I think that it is good for you to remain as you are [single]. [v.26]
6. Paul saw the day in which he lived as being crucial. He was the definition of the word 'radical'. He wanted every believer to be fully devoted to the Lord and the Lord's work! Therefore,
...the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away. [vs.29-31]
7. As he draws to an end, Paul gives the rationale for his teaching:
I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs - how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world - how he can please his wife - and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world - how she can please her husband. [vs.32-34]
Paul's advice was that they should remain in their present condition. This was not because he saw marriage as a flawed state, but because of the "present crisis" the church faced at this time.
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One has to admire Paul's tenacity in propagating a life that was deeply committed to the work of the Lord and kept free from the stresses and strains of married life. However, it was God's plan from the beginning for husbands and wives to come together in marriage and raise godly families. We must also remember that Jesus called some married men to be among His followers!
One last point: Paul leaks out a message in verse 7:
I wish that all men were as I am [single]. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
Paul clearly views celibacy as a gift - not a law! He announces here that he has the gift of celibacy and wishes that many more had it so that the Kingdom of God could advance more significantly. However, gifts vary according to the Spirit of God: We have different gifts according to the grace given us. [Romans 12:6 - written by the Apostle Paul].
Lord of the Church,
Thank You for those who have dedicated their lives so fully to You. We have deep admiration for those - like Paul - who have forgone earthly pleasures to be devoted to Your work!
Thank You, too, Lord for those who fully enjoy the manifold blessings of marriage and family and STILL manage to make valuable and significant contributions to the work of Your Kingdom! Their examples inspire us and challenge us!
May we all continue to live in peace with one another, working together to expand Your Kingdom and Your love!
Bless today, those widows and widowers who are staying faithful to you even after losing the loves of their lives!
Bless those who have had divorce forced upon them and who are trying to re-orient their lives in ways that are pleasing to You!
Bless the singles of our world who have committed themselves to You and want their lives to honor You. Give them wisdom in decision-making and fulfillment in their life choices.
Help those who are in tough marriages where unity is scarce and where life is hard from day-to-day. Show them Your face and Your grace and give them all they need to transform their marriage into a more satisfying relationship!
Nothing is impossible for You! Amen.
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