A PAINFUL DAY FOR MANY

Mother's Day was a BIG DEAL back in the days when I was growing up!  Every mother [and often every woman] received a potted plant.  Awards were given to:

• the oldest mother
• the youngest mother
• the mother with the most children (Deb's Mom almost always got that one)
• The newest mother, and so on...

Sometimes tributes were given to special moms who had served the church.  It was a festive day that was purposed to put the spotlight on women who had raised - or were raising - families.  In those days, Mother's Day was often one of the highest attendances of the year!  

When I became a pastor - around 1978 - these traditions were deeply entrenched and often took place with little or no involvement on my part.  

However, as the years passed and I began to mature in ministry, I noticed that certain regular attenders were consistently absent on this special day!  About this same time, my personal interests and giftings gradually led me to the ministry of counseling which opened a door of insight that I had never suspected or thought of.  

Mother's Day is not a joyful day for some people!   Many of them chose to stay home that day rather than have hurt feelings surface and disturb their lives for days or even weeks.  

You might wonder what could possibly cause this reaction.  However, just a little thought will make it clear.

1. Not everyone had a good mother!  Painful as it is to admit, some women are not well-equipped for this crucial role.  Perhaps it's a generational issue.  Or the pressure of having children too early or in quick succession.  Mothering young children can be overwhelming!  Some women deal with depression from the outset and struggle to know how to manage it.  It's complicated!  Those who struggle with these kinds of issues don't always know where to turn for help.
2. Mother/daughter issues are remarkably common.  Tensions arise that remain undealt with and distance separates two who love one another but who also harbor resentments or anger that has never been processed properly to usher in healing.  
3. Some lost their moms through death or divorce and don't care to be reminded of this painful reality.
4. Some women have experienced the painful loss of a child through miscarriage or the inability - for whatever reason - to bear children.  
5. Still others may have lost a child to death somewhere along the way.
6. Others may have made decisions to abort a child.
7. Then, of course, there are women who never marry and have no expectation of bearing children and raising a family.  

Fairly early on, I became increasingly aware of these many manifestations.  Gradually but certainly, I worked to diminish these grand celebrations set for May.  Besides, there were plenty of scriptures and even seasons [such as Christmas] that gave me ample opportunities to address issues related to the topics of mothering, women in leadership, and marital roles.  

Now, all of that being said, if you had a mother that you love and appreciate - HONOR HER TODAY, or your memory of her.  If you have a daughter who is doing a great job as a mother [as I do!], honor her!  If your wife has dedicated herself sacrificially to raising children and launching them into the world - be glad and heap praises on her today and often!  

However, at the same time, lift a prayer for those who may struggle today for some of the reasons listed above - or others I've overlooked.