It is usually said with volume and intensity! We expect to be heard, and it's our way of letting the children know that they should stop pestering us now. This is my final answer!
Children will always push boundaries; it's like they're wired to do so. It's a parent's job to stand firm, reinforce the boundaries and continue to express love and acceptance. It's a challenging part of our role.
Using this phrase does not imply that we're angry with our children. It does not effect our love for our children. We do not restrict their desires or behavior because we like lording it over them.
In reality, this kind of parental boundary setting is an act of love! We are older, more experienced and wiser. Perhaps their maturity is not where it needs to be for this activity yet. Or perhaps there's danger involved that they are not fully cognizant of. Or maybe this activity will subject them to temptations and/or risks that they are not fully prepared to face.
The bottom line is:
- we know better,
- we're responsible for them, and
- we must protect them!
As they grow and develop, children eventually come to see that our restrictive practices were for their own good. They realize - at some point on the journey toward maturity - that we really do love them and want the best for them!
I'd like to switch this discussion to a parallel track.
In Deuteronomy 3, Moses pleads with God to allow him to take the children of Israel across the Jordon River and into the Promised Land. God's response to Moses is a classic, "I said, 'No!'"
"That's enough! Don't ever bring this up to Me again! You can go up to the top of Mount Pisgah and look to the west and north and south and east to see the land from there. Take a good look, because you're not going to cross the Jordon River." [Deuteronomy 3:26-27 The VOICE Bible]This matter is NOT up for discussion! God's mind is made up and He's not going to be changing it.
Has God stopped loving Moses? No, of course not.
In this particular case, Moses had overstepped his role by striking the rock and saying: "Should we (Moses and Aaron) get water for you from this rock?" [Numbers 20:10] You could almost hear the Divine gasp. Really, can Moses and Aaron make water flow from a rock? No. Only God! And the sovereign decision was made: this will cost Moses his ticket across the Jordon!
God - like parents - says "No" in answer to requests sometimes. God even said "No" to Jesus when He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane and asked His Father to bring our redemption another way.
In my repeated read-throughs of the Bible, I have documented nearly twenty instances where people got the answer "No" from God.
King David asked to be permitted to build the temple; but God said "No".
The Apostle Paul asked repeatedly that God would remove a thorn from his side (obviously symbolic of an impairment of some kind). God said, "No". In this particular case, God pointed out that this thorn had a divine purpose in Paul's life - it was designed to keep Paul dependent on God!
God knows things we don't know! He has a bigger view! God has reasons that we may not be spiritually mature enough to understand. It's His responsibility to love us, guide us, protect us, and grow us.
Our part in this process is to trust Him, obey Him and submit to His authority.
We've all received a "No" from God somewhere along the way. Sometimes we get angry, or disappointed, or depressed. We must learn to reframe these moments and compel ourselves to hold to the truth that His divine "No" is somehow for our good; even though we may not understand His reasoning until we get to Heaven.
PS - Read Matthew 17:1-13, and you'll see that God finally relented and allowed Moses into the Promised Land! 😉
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