- the flocks and herds that he was presenting to his brother as a generous gift
- his handmaidens and their children
- Leah and her children
- Rachel and Joseph
His strategy was that if Esau and his four hundred men attacked the first groups, perhaps the latter groups would have time to escape.
But, as it turned out, all this was unnecessary. Their meeting was very gracious. They embrace and tears flow. The groups arrived before Esau and Jacob introduced them all. Esau's first recorded words were: What do you mean by all these droves I met? [v.8]
Jacob explains, To find favor in your eyes, my lord. [v.8]
Esau has apparently prospered also and tries to persuade Jacob to keep his flocks and herds, but Jacob is insistent and Esau yields. Jacob clearly recognizes his unjust behavior toward Esau earlier in their lives and wants to recompense Esau for these injustices.
Esau indicates that he (and his men) will accompany Jacob for the rest of the journey, but Jacob tells him to take his men and return to their home since their pace is slow due to ewes and cows nursing their young along the way. Esau complies and they part company.
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Jacob has difficulty trusting. There is no biblical evidence that he and Esau ever saw one another again. Jacob clearly bore guilt for abusing his brother so many years ago. Jacob had been abused by his uncle Laban for twenty years. He had observed the jealousy of his wives and their competitive behavior in birthing his children. He probably even had perspective on the preferential treatment from his mother in advising him to deceive his father, Isaac.
Jacob had not enjoyed good mentoring. The only one who had been faithful to him was God! Jacob was learning to trust God. But he wasn't able to transfer that trust to any humans. Unfortunately, his lack of leadership among his family is going to provoke a lot of bad relationships among these twelve sons.
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TAKE-AWAYS:
1. It's vital for us - as parents - to model integrity, honesty and fairness before our children. Dorothy Law Nolte has given us a wonderful poem, part of which follows:
Our influence as parents, grandparents, teachers, family and church members WILL have a shaping impact on their lives!
2. Once we reach adulthood, it's difficult to shake off or change the influences that were at work in our formative years - however, it can be done! Caring friends, supportive family members, spouses, meaningful small groups, mentors, pastors, counselors and others can help us change our thinking and behavior.
While working at the Blackburn Correctional Facility in Lexington, Kentucky, many years ago, I was assigned to take a van-load of residents to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings twice a week. The immediate acceptance of these groups was palpable. Frequently, they were led by older men who quickly reached out to the mostly younger men I brought. Even I felt their affirmation.
Find a person, environment or group that encourages and facilitates change and stay with it. Some churches meet these standards - some unfortunately, don't.
3. Be warned: if you don't change these personality traits, they will perpetuate themselves in your family. We'll see this in the next chapters regarding Jacob's children. David's children also replicated the sins of their father.
I've counseled with professional counselors at least three times in the course of my life (at significant cost!). I knew I needed clarity, accountability and a different perspective. In each case it was very helpful. I grew.
Fortunately, as a pastor and counselor, I've been able to be that helper to hundreds of people over the years. What a blessing!
Don't replicate bad decisions and poor behavior! Get the help you need at whatever cost! Change your legacy. Start now!
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