Walking on the Edge

It was early and dark, with subtle hints that dawn would come.  I was alone. The waves were gentle and barely made a sound;  I knew they were there although I couldn't yet see them.  The ocean had receded well over a hundred yards from where I walked.  Only a few condos had lights on.  A few lights scattered across the water indicated that some were fishing.  It was quiet and still and a refreshing-but-infrequent breeze delighted me.  

I cherish moments like these.

My friends in China are ending their day as we prepare to begin ours.  The sun sets in the east as it rises in the west.  I feel closer to them by being here. I wonder how my students are doing?  Most have graduated now and are moving on with their lives.  They write of the sorrow of college days ending. Some are studying furiously in preparation for post-graduate exams! Others have returned home to sort out the rest of their lives.  Still others have found jobs in distant cities and are stretching their wings.  A small fraction are already engaged in post-graduate studies.

My heart still frequently walks the streets of Changchun!  I visit Yitong He where I walked so many times along the river!  I hurry up the sidewalk along Weixing Liu as I did so many times on my way to classes.  I wander down Vendor Street (my selected name) and smell the foods being prepared by the street vendors.  I stop and peruse the items on their tables.  I listen to the banter over prices for fruits and vegetables.  I remember the feeling of adventure of being so far from home.  I saunter down the long hall to our twelfth floor apartment and reflect on the comfort and simplicity of our China home!  I look out our windows at the massive, red Chinese characters on the tops of the surrounding buildings.  I see hundreds of older people walking and talking their way around South Campus in the early morning!

It's real to me.

How glad I am that we spent those years teaching in China.  How much I appreciate the cultural experiences we had.  I miss the food!  I reflect on the challenges.  I ponder our trips!  I remember my classroom experiences and the relationships with students.  I smile as I reflect on the animated discussions that took place during my morning 'Free-Talk' gatherings.  I remember the passion and creativity of my students!

Going there was a huge and fearful adventure for us - but oh, how glad I am that we took the plunge! My life is so enriched.

We rarely talk of it now.  Very few inquire of our experiences.  We just passed a year of being back in the states.  Our lives have acclimated through many painful experiences to our present state.  We have a new home.  I've been at my new job for a year.  Life is different than its ever been before.

Because my work is over an hour away, building deep relationships is a huge challenge.  Outside of family, we haven't really developed new friendships. Relationships with old friends are awkward and infrequent.  In some ways, I feel like a transient;  three days there and four days here.  My life is new in ways I don't quite know how to handle.

I seem to be balancing between two worlds - both somewhat foreign to me. I'm struggling to find a new comfort zone.  Home doesn't feel quite like home. My heart feels different than its ever felt before.

The early hints of dawn are now broadening into full cloud cover.  No sunrise is visible this morning, but the light filters through.  I find a porch swing at the beach entrance and mull over my thoughts and feelings............
I miss Travis more than I can describe!

A Family Tradition

When I was young, the church was like a second home to me.  My family was there every Sunday morning for Sunday School and worship;  and again for the Sunday evening service.  Tuesday nights were for CYC (Christian Youth Crusaders).  Wednesday nights were prayer meeting. Twice a year we would have a week-long revival - and we were there every night!  Then there were Board meetings and Trustee meetings and WMS meetings and Missions rallies and District Youth Rallies and District Quarterly Conferences and Youth Camp and Family Camp and Annual conference - you get the idea!

On our way to church on Sundays we stopped to pick up Vint and Mae Baker and transport them to and from church.  My Dad was a class leader for the 'Mercer Road' class.  After class meeting (which was after prayer meeting on Wednesday) he would stop briefly at the homes of the people who had not attended the class.  I remember sitting in the car and waiting for him to return.  Mom was the local leader of the WMS (Women's Missionary Society).  She was also the Cradle Roll Director for a while.  She opened our home to bishops, evangelists, missionaries and other guests constantly.  Our family's 'Guest Album' was a "Who's Who in Free Methodism".  When the church had a work day, we all participated!  I still remember Joe Douglas coaching me on painting the church basement with precision.

It was a family legacy of serving that was concentrated through the life of our local church!  My parents chose to teach by example.  I don't recall ever being taught or encouraged to serve;  we just caught it through their persistent and committed example!

I smiled a few weeks ago when Troy told me he couldn't get together with me because he was working at his church!  Just last week, he told me that he's working on repairing the outside cross on the church!  When we visit Tracie and Jon, we notice that he leaves extra early on Sunday morning to lead the parking team!  Often when we call them, they tell us of time spent working on the church property!

We visited them a couple of weeks ago.  I'm an early riser and was up working on a message for Sunday at Kittanning Free Methodist Church. Our granddaughter, Rylie, (8 years old) is also an early riser.  She snuggled up close to me and started reading what I was typing.  That's when this conversation took place:

RYLIE:  [Almost whispered]  "Poppy, I serve at my church!"

POPPY:  "You do?"

RYLIE:  "Yes.  I asked my Mom if I could serve and she talked to my teacher. Now I serve with the 2 and 3 year olds!"

POPPY:  "Wow, Rylie, that's great!  I'm so proud of you!"  [Big hugs were exchanged.]

I later asked Tracie about Rylie's serving.  She confirmed that Rylie indicated a desire to serve like her Mommy and Daddy.  After speaking with her teacher, the leaders approved Rylie to work once-a-month with the 2&3 year olds.  So, once-a-month, after attending her own Sunday School class, Rylie serves (alongside her Mom) during the next period with the younger children.  Tracie reports that the younger children absolutely love her!

As a church leader for over forty years, I've faced repeated attempts to find people to serve in various roles in the church.  It has, at times, been a discouraging task.  Actually, we're facing this very need at the church I'm currently serving.  I'm hoping for an influx of new people who are eager to contribute to the joy of ministry!

By the way, you're never too old or too young to serve!  Rylie helps prove that!  And don't you dare say, "I've done my time!"  Serving is not a punishment!  Serving is the key to joy!  Serving puts a smile on Jesus' face! Serving puts others first!

And parents:  Don't teach your children to serve - SHOW THEM HOW TO SERVE!  Set an example that will stir their hearts and make them want to do the same!

Cool Sunglasses

I started wearing glasses when I was eleven!  It was wonderful to be able to see!  I remember telling my Mom on the way home from Dr. Phillip's office that I could see the individual leaves on the trees!  Everything was so clear and amazing!  I must have improved in my schoolwork as a result!

I got the occasional "four eyes" comments.  It really didn't bother me because, after all, I could SEE!  I put them on when I crawled out of bed and took them off when I crawled back in.  I washed them when I showered and from time-to-time broke them.

My eye doctor was also our across-the-street-neighbor.  That was pretty cool because if a new pair of glasses didn't quite fit right, Doc Phillips would hold them down in his toaster and bend them a bit until they fit properly!  :-)

However, I quickly learned that the biggest drawback from wearing glasses was that you can't wear cool sunglasses!  Bummer!

I tried everything!  Remember those thin, plastic sunglasses that you slip behind your glasses.  Bah!  Then there were the famous 'clip-ons'.  Boo!

At one point, I paid to have an older pair of prescription glasses coated to become a pair of sunglasses.  It worked, but 'Not cool!'

Finally, when I left home and was working for a roofing company in Philadelphia, I sprung for a pair of wire-rimmed, hexagonal, prescription sunglasses!  Now they were cool!  Think John Lennon cool!

I wore them for years until one day when I was driving along in my '63 Chevy, I turned to look out my window - and (you guessed it) they blew off my face and were mangled beyond repair!  So sad!

Then, in the 90's, they started making contacts for people with astigmatism! Woo Hoo!  I went to Pittsburgh to be fitted for my first pair of contacts.  It took a while for me to learn to insert them, but I got it.  Wala!  I was, for the first time since I was eleven, able to go out and buy a cool pair of sunglasses! Sweet!  I loved it!

But after a couple of years, the contacts just weren't working out.  I don't remember too many details, but I quit wearing them altogether. Awwwwww...

The years rolled by before my Walmart eye doctor told me that I had cataracts growing on both eyes. Shock!  Cataracts?  Are you kidding?  That's something that old people deal with!  He comforted me with the words: "They're not big enough to do anything about yet."  Very comforting!

Each annual visit he would give me an update on their size.  Then, we went to China for a year.  A year became two.  My vision deteriorated quickly!  It's probably a good thing I wasn't driving in China!  I was starting to have vision problems even in my classroom work!

So, I contacted Deb's sister, Cathy, and had her set up an appointment with a cataract specialist in Boardman, Ohio for July (when we would be home for six weeks).  She agreed to see me and try to get both surgeries in during our window of opportunity.

Having cataracts removed was, for me, like a miracle!  I immediately had 20/20 vision and have maintained it for the several years since the surgery! Wow!  I have young man's eyes!

AND, I get to wear cool sunglasses for the rest of my life!  Don't you just love happy endings?

Etiquette

Wikipedia's definition of etiquette:  

Etiquette is a code of behavior that delineates expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class, or group.

Like it or not, children learn these behaviors primarily from their parents.  

When Debbie and I were raising our kids, we were concerned that they have a proper sense of respect for etiquette and proper social behavior.

I remember when Travis brought a prom date to our home for pictures along with two other couples.  When they returned to their cars, I was watching from our porch on Bradshaw Avenue.  Travis was the only boy who opened the door for his date.  I was proud!  

We had some help with cultivating culture in our kids.  Our good friends, David and Karen Kelly occasionally helped us with this process.  I remember a day of touring near Ligonier, Pennsylvania with David and Karen one day many years ago.  David taught Travis about sorbet and other delicacies from enjoying a fine meal.  

About once a year, we would have a big night out as a family!  We would go to a much nicer restaurant than usual where our kids would encounter the complexities of multiple forks and spoons.  We'd talk about proper behavior in such a setting.  I would pull the chair out for Debbie and have the boys do so for Tracie.  We'd unfold our cloth napkins and place them on our laps.  

Then, we would leave the restaurant and attend a concert, play or other fine event in one of the downtown Pittsburgh venues.  On one of these occasions, David and Karen treated us to the opera, "The Magic Flute".  It was a delightful evening of teaching our kids appropriate behavior for such a setting.  I remember, during the intermission, David and I caught Travis and Troy gawking at a statue of a naked Cupid who had a water fountain at a conspicuous location! They were pointing and giggling!  David and I giggled at that scene for the rest of the evening!  

I remember taking the kids to see "The Nutcracker" one Christmas season. After a delicious meal at Dingbats, we went to the Benedum Theater for the show.  We were seated just under the edge of the balcony.  Tracie was probably six years old.  Her mom had permed her hair and she had a very beautiful, full dress on.  She was a picture of beauty!  We settled into our soft, cushioned seats as the lights went down and the orchestra began playing.  A few minutes later, I looked down on Tracie - who was sound asleep!  :-)

Parents have an awesome responsibility in raising their children.  There's so much to teach. We must not forget some of these basic lessons.  I must admit to being appalled recently by the eating behaviors of some children and youth.  Things like eating with an open mouth, hovering over one's food, or gulping it down like you're in a race can be offensive.  Who better to check these behaviors than a loving parent?  

For nearly six years, Debbie and I ran a licensed home for behaviorally-challenged children in Summit County, Ohio.  We had hundreds of children in-and-out of our home during those years.  Most stayed for three days;  some stayed as long as a year.  Many of these kids (aged from 5 to 17) came from homes where there was not much structure.  Some had never set down at a table to eat a meal.  Others had no idea how to use a fork.  

Over and again, Debbie and I had to teach basic skills to these children.  

Some wanted to eat super fast in order to get back to playing our Nintendo game.  When they would hop up to run from the table, I would stop them and have them sit down again.  Then I would have Troy or Tracie explain to them about leaving our table.  They would explain:  "You have to ask our Dad if you can leave the table.  You can't leave until he says you can."  You should have seen the looks of astonishment!  

Yet, most of those children learned to enjoy the conversation around our table!  I always managed that conversation by interviewing each kid (including ours).  Many of these children had never had an adult listen to them talking about their day at school!  

Over the course of repeated visits to our home, we saw remarkable progress in many of these kids' lives.  

Maybe we, as parents, need to step up to higher standards for ourselves - for the sake of our kids!  We've been there!  The parenting role is exhausting;  especially for those who are doing it alone!  But, it's worth it when you see your grown-up kids handling responsibility in an appropriate way.

I beamed with pride when Travis served as the United States Naval Academy's Superintendent's Flag Secretary.  In this role he planned exquisite banquets and receptions for the Admiral.  Honored guests often included Congressmen and Senators as well as military dignitaries.  Travis moved among these individuals and did so with grace and style.  He'd been taught well!  

He's Not Kidding, Morg!

The Haire family has camped for at least a week at Pymatuning State Park almost every year for the last thirty-five years!  Never having a large income, it was a cheap-but-fun, family vacation. We'd pack the kid's 'hot-cycles' or bikes, throw in the kitchen sink and take off!

One year we were rolling along toward Pymatuning on Route 11 with the kids hot-cycles tied on the back of the camper. A car pulled alongside me and motioned that we had a problem. I pulled off to find that the ropes had loosened and the back wheels of Troy's hot cycle were rolling along the highway at 60 mph!  😳  Thank you, dear motorist friend!
The week would include:

• Hobo dinners
• S'mores
• Roasting ears
• Swimming
• Water slides
• Camp fires
• Playing games
• Telling stories, and
• Feeding the fish at Linesville!  😝

If we hit an occasional rainy day, we would jump in the car and head for Lake Erie or some other place (like Hermitage) to hang out or shop. 

Many of these vacations were shared with the Mahosky family. Travis, Troy, Tracie, Marshall, Barbie and Jesse grew up a lot like brothers and sisters!  

At least one day would be spent at Conneaut Lake Park riding the small, amusement park rides!  I'll never forget pulling into our site one summer and having little 'Bubsy' run up to my door announcing with exuberant anticipation:  "Uncle Harold, tomorrow we're going to Ponneaut Cake Park'!!!!!

Then there was the year that we went to Linesville to feed the fish. But Troy and Marshall decided to feed the seagulls instead. They deliberately threw the bread in the middle of the road in hopes of seeing one get hit by a car. They had scored '1' before I caught them!  Marshall told me a few years ago that it was the angriest he had ever seen me!  😡

On years when the Mahosky's couldn't go, we allowed the kids to each bring a friend. By this time, I had bought a canoe to add to our fun. Troy often brought his friend, Morgan, who lived up the street from us on Thompson Avenue in East Liverpool. 

The first time Morgan came along, I had fixed my traditional breakfast of bacon, eggs, toast and home fries. As we finished the meal, I informed Troy and Morgan that it was their turn to wash the dishes. Morgan laughed and got up to head for his bike. Troy called after him saying, "He's not kidding, Morg!"  With a rather shocked look on his face, he dropped his bike and walked back to the table to wash dishes for the first time in his life. 😝

We made endless memories:

• Tracie and Barbie waking up in the pup-tent with ice in their hair. 
• Troy and Morgan rolling the canoe and losing a camping stool and Tracie's boom-box!
• The daily fight over who gets to start the fire. 
• Travis eating sausage that was under-cooked;  then we woke up at midnight because the camper was shaking!  Yep!  It all resurfaced in projectile form!  😦
• Playing 'Sorry' in the camper at Ohiopyle with the rain pouring down shortly after we got set up. 
• Having church one Sunday where Troy read about the seeds that were planted along the path, while Tracie chose and led the singing!  

Debbie and I are camping today at the Jamestown camping area. As we sit looking over the lake, our minds are ruminating these memories. Good memories. Precious memories!  Some pain, of course;  but mostly smiles - and deep gratitude!  

Me Too!

It was one of my nick-names for Tracie when she was little!  Growing up with two older brothers, she often found herself in situations that could best be quickly satisfied by simply saying those two words!

Travis:  "Dad, can I ride along with you?"
Tracie:  "Me too!"

Troy:  "Dad, could you jump on the trampoline with me?"
Tracie:  "Me too!"

Travis:  "Dad, can I watch the Cosby's tonight?"
Tracie:  "Me too!"

Troy:  "Dad, will you play catch with me?"
Tracie:  "Me too!"

She said it so often!  I loved her for it.  It showed her admiration for her brothers and her passion for life!

The spirit of "Me too!" is generally a good thing.  You see someone doing something - or even just hear that they're going to do something, and it ignites desire within you.  The seed has been planted.  You want to do this thing, too!

We even see it in the scriptures.  In John 21, Peter - in a state of confusion after Jesus' death and resurrection - says:  "I'm going fishing."  Six of his friends say:  "Me too!"  And what a day they had!

I guess the spirit of "Me too!" involves an impression-maker and an impression-taker.  One person creates the idea and another jumps on the bandwagon.

I think I'm both.  Sometimes, I come up with ideas that others commend and even participate in.  Isn't that what the 'Like' button is all about on Facebook?  Just another way of saying, "Me too!"  :-)

• "I like this picture, video, quote, story..."
• "I do too!"

Other times, I see what someone is doing and decide that I want to jump in on the act!  "Me too!"  Why else do so many young men wear their baseball caps sideways?  They saw someone else do it and thought it was cool!  So be it.  

Some years ago, when I first started Facebooking, I joined up because I didn't want to be a dinosaur.  In doing so, I decided however, that I would try to be a positive force on this media.  So far, I think I've succeeded.  No rants yet. Tempted, but successful in fighting off the need.  

I decided to be a one-man force to create positivism.  'Like' lots of people's stuff. Make lots of friends.  Post jokes and funny stories.  Publicize devotional materials.  Spread happiness and Christian love.  

And maybe - just maybe - we can start a "Me too!" revolution!  

Hey, I see what Brenda and Hal and Charlie and Kathy and Tracey and so many others are doing;  and I'm going to do it too!  I'm going to add value to the positive side of life;  we all come by enough negativity just by traveling through this world!  I'm going to lighten loads not add to burdens.

I recently read a post that commented about people who have "no good" in them.  I couldn't 'Like' that post. I know there are really negative, bitter, broken, angry, depraved people in this world.  But I just can't bring myself to agree that there is "no good" in them.  Maybe I can't see it or draw it out, but the image of God is there!  I need to honor that!  I can give them time, or space, or attention, or affirmation, or lots of other things.  Goodness, truth be known, some days I feel pretty lousy, myself!  

So, I'm still trying to plug along saying nice things and posting humorous things and telling jokes and writing inane blog articles - just trying to make the journey a little more enjoyable.  

My most valuable mentor taught me to hold the crown high above people's heads and wait for them to grow into it.  She did that better than anyone I know.  When I watched her do it, in my spirit I said, "Me too!"  

Take this bread - take this cup

I just returned from leading chapel at 'Grey's Colonial Acres Personal Care Home' outside of Kittanning. This home is run by Ken and Paula Grey, who attend our Free Methodist Church.

There are about twenty residents there - mostly women.  Some are quite capable of holding a conversation and following the line-of-thought in a devotional.  Some are very sleepy.  Others are distracted by their own thoughts.

Three women reside there who (I'm told) were once VERY active in our Kittanning Free Methodist Church: Lawave Trudgen, Opal McManus and Lois Moore.

I'm reminded of a story from years ago when I was a very young pastor at Jeannette, Pennsylvania.  There was a woman in the church named Annie Demaria.  She had served the church through the years in many ways, but primarily as the hostess for any travelling evangelists or other dignitaries who visited the church. She was dearly loved and respected by everyone!

However, during my years there, her physical and mental faculties failed and her family made the tough decision of placing her in a nursing home in Apollo, PA.

I visited her regularly.  However, I often had a hard time finding her for she appointed herself as the unofficial chaplain of the institution.  Daily, she visited others and prayed with them always carrying her Bible as a point of reference.

Lo-and-behold, her condition improved significantly and eventually she was able to return home and to church.  I will never forget her first Sunday morning back!  She stood and reprimanded the congregation for not coming to visit her while she was in the nursing home!  Although she was not mean about it, she was very direct and looked people in the eye as she spoke.  A lot of people were brought face-to-face with their failures that morning!

I lead chapel three times a month - once at each of the Grey's homes.  I have established a rapport with the people and genuinely enjoy my 30-40 minutes with them each month.  They seem to reciprocate with feelings of affection. Unfortunately, I do this ministry alone!  I have invited my congregation to come along to help with the singing, but so far no one has done so.  Sad!  I guess we need another Annie Demaria to show up some Sunday.

Today, for the first time, I served Holy Communion during our chapel.  It had its awkward moments.  Some don't have the motor skills to handle the small cup and the small piece of bread.  Others are not fully aware of what we are doing and why.  Of course, others are very aware and participate with tears and attitudes of gratitude!  The staff (Paula and Caleb) were so helpful and gracious in assisting with this service.

By the way, Jesus was there!  He was loving on His children!  He was so tender and understanding with each one!  You should have seen it!  He didn't mind that grape juice was spilled or that bread crumbs fell to the floor.  He wasn't offended when a couple just didn't understand and refused to participate.  He was so patient and tender with each one!  You know, He's pro-life at both ends of the spectrum!

I was honored to be his minister in this service.  I believe people were encouraged today.  I believe they were given assurance of their salvation!  I believe they genuinely communicated their worship to God.

Paula tells me that they will often pick up my songsheets and sing the songs again for days after our chapel! How cool is that?

Oh, my schedule for this ministry is 1:30 PM:

• 2nd Wednesday - Grey's Colonial Gardens
• 3rd Wednesday - Grey's Colonial Manor
• 4th Wednesday - Grey's Colonial Acres

I'd love to have you come along and help with the singing, share a testimony, read a scripture, or sing (play) a song!  You'd probably be a blessing to the people who reside at these homes;  but to be truthful, you'd probably get the biggest blessing!  :-)