DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILES

 I'm sure you've noticed that even the word dysfunctional is spelled dysfunctionally.  :-)

Wikipedia defines a dysfunctional family:

A dysfunctional family is a family in which conflict, misbehavior, and often child neglect or abuse on the part of individual parents occur continuously and regularly, leading other members to accommodate such actions.

I think it's safe to say that Isaac and Rebekah had a dysfunctional family.  And they all suffered as a result!  

Isaac seems to have developed a preference for his first-born son, Esau.  Rebekah took a special interest in the second-born, Jacob.  We must keep a door open that her actions could have been motivated by the fact that God had told her:

“Two nations are in your womb,
    and two peoples from within you will be separated;
one people will be stronger than the other,
    and the older will serve the younger.”

 Chuck Swindoll suggests that there were other ways God could have brought this about:  

• Truthfulness with the boys from the beginning - helping them to understand that this was God's will for their lives.
• Equal love for both boys from both parents.  Esau could have graciously released the birth rite to Jacob in humble obedience to God's sovereign will.
•  Jacob could have received the blessing and offered to share his wealth and privilege freely with Esau.   [Fascinating Stories of Forgotten Lives,  pp.51-69]

 Instead, Isaac and Rebekah appear to have lost the closeness of their marriage relationship.  We don't even know if she ever told Isaac about God's message regarding Isaac.  She clearly - like Jacob - practiced deception against Isaac.  While likely loving each of the boys, they played favorites.  

The end is sad!  Isaac feels betrayed.  Esau is enraged and plans to kill his brother after his father dies.  Rebekah is worried over the whole situation.  And Jacob is fearful and forced to leave his homeland.  

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So, what is the biblical formula for a healthy marriage and family?

A Husband is to Love his Wife
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it”   Ephesians 5:25

A Husband is to Cling to His Wife
“Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will cling to his wife: and they will be one flesh.”    Genesis 2:24     [The implication of this (and other passages) is sexual exclusivity and fulfillment.]

A Wife is to Submit to Her Husband
Wives, yield to your husbands, as you do to the Lord,  Ephesians 5:22  (New Century Version)    [Debbie always preferred the TLB version of I Peter 3:1, Wives, fit in with your husband's plans...]

Marriage is a Covenant – so God is Part of Every Marriage
“… the LORD hath been witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously: yet is she your companion, and the wife of your covenant.” Malachi 2:14     That sets it apart from other relationships!  Paul declares this unity to be a profound mystery in Ephesians 5:32.

Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness in the Home
“And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32

Train Children Early and Consistently                                                    “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” Proverbs 22:6. The Hebrew means from infancy to adolescence, while training carries the connotation of narrowing or hedging in. Training a child means appropriate instruction according to the age of the child, and it begins in infancy.

Teach Your Children about God                                                               "These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.  “ Deuteronomy 6:6–9. 

Hal's Personal Counsel                                                                              PRAY!  Pray alone!  Pray together as a couple!  Pray together as a family!  Pray individually with your kids!  Walk them to their beds - even when they become teens - and sit and talk with them and pray over them!  Prayer has a healing, comforting, assuring effect!  DON'T IGNORE IT!!!!!